Nice little Memorial Day weekend we had here. Or at least I thought it was. It rained in New Brighton for a total of 10 minutes yesterday, but we heard a bunch of sirens and figured it was just because there was a tornado watch. Well, picking up the paper today and seeing that tornadoes touched down only a few miles away was quite a shock. Shit, the storm didn't even really interrupt our lawn dart game or the grilling. Global warming is sure odd.
I went and saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" today and thought it was one hell of a funny movie. It also didn't hurt that the female leads were oh-so-pretty (I never thought I'd see Jackie from That 70s Show topless). The previews were pretty interesting also. I kind of want to see the stoner/action hero movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco, and never will see "The Incredible Hulk" if I live to be 100.
Otherwise, nothing else really. Boof Bonser sucks ass at facing MLB hitters, I'm pumped about softball tomorrow and the only CD that comes out tomorrow is a re-release of the fucking Dutchess by Fergie Ferg. Goodnight.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Wear My Ring Around Your Neck
I hate the San Antonio Spurs. I think that I have gone over this before, but I think that the topic needs to be re-addressed. I'm going to have some real conversation on how much I hate the U.N. of Roundball that plays in South Texas.
First off, their uniforms. What the fuck? They look like a black and white movie, and they totally sum up what the team is: uncolorful. I'm supposed to believe that Manu, Tony and The Big Yawn Tim are all superstars, but I can't. There is nothing interesting about any of them other than they are not from the U.S.
Second, I hate the way they flop like "Walk Hard". When did the NBA become an offshoot of FIFA? The slightest bump sends Balki Bartakamous (aka Manu) across the floor. And they whine like a newborn whenever they don't get a call. Come on ladies, be mannish like Lebron.
Finally, I hate that they are so good. They have been contenders for, what, like 15 years now? 20? They went to the conference finals for the first time in this run in the mid-90s, before the widespread use of the Internet. In my lifetime, they have made the conference finals SEVEN FUCKING TIMES! The Wolves have made the playoffs eight times total. God, this is depressing. I am just going to quit
First off, their uniforms. What the fuck? They look like a black and white movie, and they totally sum up what the team is: uncolorful. I'm supposed to believe that Manu, Tony and The Big Yawn Tim are all superstars, but I can't. There is nothing interesting about any of them other than they are not from the U.S.
Second, I hate the way they flop like "Walk Hard". When did the NBA become an offshoot of FIFA? The slightest bump sends Balki Bartakamous (aka Manu) across the floor. And they whine like a newborn whenever they don't get a call. Come on ladies, be mannish like Lebron.
Finally, I hate that they are so good. They have been contenders for, what, like 15 years now? 20? They went to the conference finals for the first time in this run in the mid-90s, before the widespread use of the Internet. In my lifetime, they have made the conference finals SEVEN FUCKING TIMES! The Wolves have made the playoffs eight times total. God, this is depressing. I am just going to quit
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Old Man Take A Look At My Life. I'm A Lot Like You Were
I found this link on OkayPlayer tonight. It made me feel really freaking old, seeing as how I was a junior in high school when this stuff came out. Not only that, but I was a shift supervisor at T-Bell and listened to most of these songs incessantly on KDWB, 93X and Rock 100. I don't know what's more depressing, that I owned the CD single for "Kiss Me" or that next year I will be in my 5th year of lower level management (thank God for that break at the Farm where I sucked as an employee and didn't make a mark). Anyways...
http://blog.allmusic.com/2008/5/9/allmusic-loves-1999
In other music news, I downloaded the new Cure single. It sounds like it could have been on "The Head On The Door" or "Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me" which means its poppy and wonderfully, wonderfully pretty. The new Weezer single "Pork and Beans" kicks some old school Weezer ass also.
I'm thinking "Pork and Beans" will be a big "summer single". We haven't had one of those in quite a while (last year it was "I'm a Flirt" and "Wouldn't Get Far" for me, "Umbrella" by sexy fivehead Rihanna for the rest of the globe). I'm also pulling for "Mercy" by Duffy, because it is so fucking weird and British and sounds like 1965. Oh, and New Kids On The Block have a single out called "Summertime" that should get airplay, because NKOTB is highly ironic and the song has summer in the title. Of course, "Birthday Girl" by the Roots would have already gone to #1 in a perfect world, but Hillary is still in the race and the Spurs are still not eliminated, so we have to settle for bumping the illegal download.
http://blog.allmusic.com/2008/5/9/allmusic-loves-1999
In other music news, I downloaded the new Cure single. It sounds like it could have been on "The Head On The Door" or "Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me" which means its poppy and wonderfully, wonderfully pretty. The new Weezer single "Pork and Beans" kicks some old school Weezer ass also.
I'm thinking "Pork and Beans" will be a big "summer single". We haven't had one of those in quite a while (last year it was "I'm a Flirt" and "Wouldn't Get Far" for me, "Umbrella" by sexy fivehead Rihanna for the rest of the globe). I'm also pulling for "Mercy" by Duffy, because it is so fucking weird and British and sounds like 1965. Oh, and New Kids On The Block have a single out called "Summertime" that should get airplay, because NKOTB is highly ironic and the song has summer in the title. Of course, "Birthday Girl" by the Roots would have already gone to #1 in a perfect world, but Hillary is still in the race and the Spurs are still not eliminated, so we have to settle for bumping the illegal download.
Monday, May 12, 2008
My Girl Wants To Party All The Time Party All The Time Par-tay All The Time
Long time no write. Nothing all that monumental has been going on. For starters, The Nature Boys softball season has started, and we are a predictable 1-3. This is fine with me, as I only play for the love of the game. One benefit of this season is I seem to be hitting better. Last years hitting was more ridiculous than the time Balki brought two blondes home for himself and none for Couseen Larry. Another benny is that our uniforms are sexy as all hell. I love the royal blue/yellow combo, and the hats that say "WHOOOO!" are amazing. Hopefully we can take a few more games, but if not, I'm still having an assload of fun.
Oh, and Nate's birthday BBQ/keg party was a huge success. We had a real good turn out, and everyone got really drunk (not to mention well fed on kabob). The highlight had to be Chico passed out on my bathroom floor, yelling, "bet you never thought you'd see me here!" and then someone saying "I think your friend is dead in the bathroom." Ah yes, the things tequila can do to someone.
Oh, and Nate's birthday BBQ/keg party was a huge success. We had a real good turn out, and everyone got really drunk (not to mention well fed on kabob). The highlight had to be Chico passed out on my bathroom floor, yelling, "bet you never thought you'd see me here!" and then someone saying "I think your friend is dead in the bathroom." Ah yes, the things tequila can do to someone.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Road Trippin Day 4
Like Motley Crue said, on with the show baby on with the show...
Yesterday started off with a breakfast buffet at a Big Boy by our hotel. The buffet was pretty damn sub par, but they had good biscuits and gravy, so I was in a good mood.
We then ventured out and went to the Great American Ballpark really early (like 10 AM early) to see the Reds play the Astros. Great American Ballpark is pretty nice. It is the newest ballpark that I have been in, and I hope that the one that they are building downtown will be as nice as this one. But I digress. The morning started out with a couple of beers at the only bar within walking distance of the stadium. Downtown Cincy is the most boring place on Earth, so boring in fact that Saint Paul looks like Vegas in comparison. Oh, and our waitress was a huge bitch.
The game was fun though. This random guy talked my ear off the whole fucking game about baseball. He knew his stuff, but it was really annoying while trying to watch the game. I guess I also talked Southern to him, saying "I can't wait until they tear that Dome down, I tell you what." I also had a chili dog topped with Cincinnati chili, which was interesting. They make their chili with nutmeg and cinnamon and it was like spaghetti sauce. I bought a can later so I could let my brothers in on the odd chili dog sensation.
After the game, we drove all the way to Racine. Today, maybe the brewery tour, maybe Harold and Kunar 2, for sure the Brewers game. All is still up in the air.
Trophies:Starbucks City Mugs-2 (Memphis, Indianapolis)
Slurpees Enjoyed-2 (Full Throttle, Coffee)
Bizarre QSR Restaurants-6 (Waffle House, Sonic, Jack In The Box,Steak N Shake, Big Boy, Skyline Chili)
Newspapers-7 (Chicago Sun-Times, Memphis Commercial Appeal, The Tennessean, New York Post, Murfeesboro Daily News Journal, Louisville Courier-Journal, Cincinnati Enquirer)
Yesterday started off with a breakfast buffet at a Big Boy by our hotel. The buffet was pretty damn sub par, but they had good biscuits and gravy, so I was in a good mood.
We then ventured out and went to the Great American Ballpark really early (like 10 AM early) to see the Reds play the Astros. Great American Ballpark is pretty nice. It is the newest ballpark that I have been in, and I hope that the one that they are building downtown will be as nice as this one. But I digress. The morning started out with a couple of beers at the only bar within walking distance of the stadium. Downtown Cincy is the most boring place on Earth, so boring in fact that Saint Paul looks like Vegas in comparison. Oh, and our waitress was a huge bitch.
The game was fun though. This random guy talked my ear off the whole fucking game about baseball. He knew his stuff, but it was really annoying while trying to watch the game. I guess I also talked Southern to him, saying "I can't wait until they tear that Dome down, I tell you what." I also had a chili dog topped with Cincinnati chili, which was interesting. They make their chili with nutmeg and cinnamon and it was like spaghetti sauce. I bought a can later so I could let my brothers in on the odd chili dog sensation.
After the game, we drove all the way to Racine. Today, maybe the brewery tour, maybe Harold and Kunar 2, for sure the Brewers game. All is still up in the air.
Trophies:Starbucks City Mugs-2 (Memphis, Indianapolis)
Slurpees Enjoyed-2 (Full Throttle, Coffee)
Bizarre QSR Restaurants-6 (Waffle House, Sonic, Jack In The Box,Steak N Shake, Big Boy, Skyline Chili)
Newspapers-7 (Chicago Sun-Times, Memphis Commercial Appeal, The Tennessean, New York Post, Murfeesboro Daily News Journal, Louisville Courier-Journal, Cincinnati Enquirer)
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Road Trippin Day 3
Where were we? Oh yeah, I was staying in Memphis overnight so I could go to the Stax Museum in the morning...
Which I did, and it was fantastic. First off though, we went to the Sun Recording Studio, which was a little ho-hum. It was really really small, and all the tour focused on was Elvis (no Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and the like). But our tour guide was really cute, which made the tour a little more palatable.
Now back to the Stax Museum. Instead of focusing on JUST Stax, it took in the whole history of soul music. There was tons of cool displays, like Issac Hayeses Caddy with a TV and fur lined interior, and a room with all the 45s released on Stax and Volt records. There was also an exhibit on Otis Redding with huge black and white photos and copies of paperwork from his final days (his Holiday Inn bill was around $7, Gulf charged him $70 to fuel his plane). Really cool place.
We got back to Nashville around 6 and then decided to go hit up the bars along Broadway for the night. Nashville has a bar close of 3AM, so we were going to do it right. Every bar along Broadway had a live pop/rock or pop/country band playing, so we spent the evening drinking long necks and listening to bar bands. It was fun. At three of the five or six bars we went to, the house band played "Mary Jane's Last Dance". One bar had a fine ass chick on rollerskates singing with the band. The only downside was that the street was pretty dead due to it being a Tuesday. Oh, and there were tons of creeper homeless fucks begging for money. And one old guy kept rubbing his nip like he was high on ecstasy or something(well, that was more funny than shitty...).
Today we ventured out to the Jack Daniel's distillery to see how whiskey is made. Funny that the #1 selling whiskey in the world is made pretty old timey in the bumfuck hills of Tennessee. Interesting tour though. After the tour we stopped at a store that sold "Dixie Wear" which consisted of Confeddies and hick bumper stickers. Next door was a CD store which had tons of out of print classic rock discs...two of which I purchased. Funny thing is, the hillbilly woman working behind the counter knew that they were OOP. According to her phone conversation we all heard, she also knew that she didn't want a "n-word president" but that "it was gonna happen anyway." She also hated "that bitch Hillary" and didn't want McCain. This was all said while chain smoking by the cash register. Only in the fucking South.
When that was all said and done, we left Codes behind and drove to Cincy for the Reds afternoon game tomorrow. Dammit, I want to see Junior in person again!
Trophies:
Starbucks City Mugs-2 (Memphis, Indianapolis)
Slurpees Enjoyed-2 (Full Throttle, Coffee)
Bizarre QSR Restaurants-3 (Waffle House, Sonic, Jack In The Box)
Newspapers-6 (Chicago Sun-Times, Memphis Commercial Appeal, The Tennessean, New York Post, Murfeesboro Daily News Journal, Louisville Courier-Journal)
Which I did, and it was fantastic. First off though, we went to the Sun Recording Studio, which was a little ho-hum. It was really really small, and all the tour focused on was Elvis (no Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, and the like). But our tour guide was really cute, which made the tour a little more palatable.
Now back to the Stax Museum. Instead of focusing on JUST Stax, it took in the whole history of soul music. There was tons of cool displays, like Issac Hayeses Caddy with a TV and fur lined interior, and a room with all the 45s released on Stax and Volt records. There was also an exhibit on Otis Redding with huge black and white photos and copies of paperwork from his final days (his Holiday Inn bill was around $7, Gulf charged him $70 to fuel his plane). Really cool place.
We got back to Nashville around 6 and then decided to go hit up the bars along Broadway for the night. Nashville has a bar close of 3AM, so we were going to do it right. Every bar along Broadway had a live pop/rock or pop/country band playing, so we spent the evening drinking long necks and listening to bar bands. It was fun. At three of the five or six bars we went to, the house band played "Mary Jane's Last Dance". One bar had a fine ass chick on rollerskates singing with the band. The only downside was that the street was pretty dead due to it being a Tuesday. Oh, and there were tons of creeper homeless fucks begging for money. And one old guy kept rubbing his nip like he was high on ecstasy or something(well, that was more funny than shitty...).
Today we ventured out to the Jack Daniel's distillery to see how whiskey is made. Funny that the #1 selling whiskey in the world is made pretty old timey in the bumfuck hills of Tennessee. Interesting tour though. After the tour we stopped at a store that sold "Dixie Wear" which consisted of Confeddies and hick bumper stickers. Next door was a CD store which had tons of out of print classic rock discs...two of which I purchased. Funny thing is, the hillbilly woman working behind the counter knew that they were OOP. According to her phone conversation we all heard, she also knew that she didn't want a "n-word president" but that "it was gonna happen anyway." She also hated "that bitch Hillary" and didn't want McCain. This was all said while chain smoking by the cash register. Only in the fucking South.
When that was all said and done, we left Codes behind and drove to Cincy for the Reds afternoon game tomorrow. Dammit, I want to see Junior in person again!
Trophies:
Starbucks City Mugs-2 (Memphis, Indianapolis)
Slurpees Enjoyed-2 (Full Throttle, Coffee)
Bizarre QSR Restaurants-3 (Waffle House, Sonic, Jack In The Box)
Newspapers-6 (Chicago Sun-Times, Memphis Commercial Appeal, The Tennessean, New York Post, Murfeesboro Daily News Journal, Louisville Courier-Journal)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Road Trippin Day 2
To Josh Benesh Ramsey: I'M BAAAACK!
Chi-city was left behind around 9AM on Sunday. Up next was a long long long drive to Nashville (well, technically, Murfeesboro) where we would meet up with Codes. Along the way, we stopped at a Sonic in southern Indiana, and we knew we were in the South because a biker told us in a Southern accent "Deys mo of ewe in da bathroom dan deys in da restaurant!" Sonic, by the way, is pretty fucking good. It is between Burger King and Hardee's on the taste scale. I still am pretty amped that one is opening in Savage.
We arrived at the Stevens residence around 7PM. Right away, we went to Kroger to get some grillin supplies and some beers. Cody said that we weren't good enough for Publix (I guess it is high class) so Kroger had to do. Two big differences that I noticed were that no place in the south sells Michelob Golden Draft (only Mich classic, which I haven't seen in MPLS in like 10 years) and there are no brats to be found. Instead, there is some sort of hot pink hot dog labeled "southern style" which I nearly bought, but realized that I might die if I ate it.
After Kroger we grilled out and reminisced over the old days. After getting nice and drunk, we went to the bowling alley in some small suburb of Nashville. I honestly do not remember how I bowled, but I have a feeling that it was good.
Feeling a little hung over this morning, we went to a Waffle House (which was amazing) and then looked for a record store in downtown Nashville. We found a FYE, where I purchased a used copy of "Dandy In The Underworld" by T. Rex. Not finding much to our liking in Nashville, we decided to go all the way to Memphis like Mott The Hoople.
Memphis is one hell of a town. We spent the day on Beale Street, looking at all the monuments to old R&B and soul stars (Rufus Thomas, Issac Hayes, Al Green, etc) and we toured a Smithsonian exhibit on Memphis music history. The bars here are fantastic, the women are all gorgeous, and there is a perfect mix of old people and young hotties to make me at ease. Plus, there is a bar called The Flying Saucer that has over 200 beers on tap and collectors plates of The Gambler on the walls. Oh, and there was live music everywhere. Unfortunately, we didn't get to experience everything, so tomorrow we are going to tour the Stax and Sun Records museums. Until then, keep it real.
Trophy Count:
Starbucks City Mugs-2 (Memphis, Indianapolis)
Slurpees Enjoyed-2 (Full Throttle, Coffee)
Bizarre QSR Restaurants-2 (Waffle House, Sonic)
Newspapers-4 (Chicago Sun-Times, Memphis Commercial Appeal, The Tennessean, New York Post)
Chi-city was left behind around 9AM on Sunday. Up next was a long long long drive to Nashville (well, technically, Murfeesboro) where we would meet up with Codes. Along the way, we stopped at a Sonic in southern Indiana, and we knew we were in the South because a biker told us in a Southern accent "Deys mo of ewe in da bathroom dan deys in da restaurant!" Sonic, by the way, is pretty fucking good. It is between Burger King and Hardee's on the taste scale. I still am pretty amped that one is opening in Savage.
We arrived at the Stevens residence around 7PM. Right away, we went to Kroger to get some grillin supplies and some beers. Cody said that we weren't good enough for Publix (I guess it is high class) so Kroger had to do. Two big differences that I noticed were that no place in the south sells Michelob Golden Draft (only Mich classic, which I haven't seen in MPLS in like 10 years) and there are no brats to be found. Instead, there is some sort of hot pink hot dog labeled "southern style" which I nearly bought, but realized that I might die if I ate it.
After Kroger we grilled out and reminisced over the old days. After getting nice and drunk, we went to the bowling alley in some small suburb of Nashville. I honestly do not remember how I bowled, but I have a feeling that it was good.
Feeling a little hung over this morning, we went to a Waffle House (which was amazing) and then looked for a record store in downtown Nashville. We found a FYE, where I purchased a used copy of "Dandy In The Underworld" by T. Rex. Not finding much to our liking in Nashville, we decided to go all the way to Memphis like Mott The Hoople.
Memphis is one hell of a town. We spent the day on Beale Street, looking at all the monuments to old R&B and soul stars (Rufus Thomas, Issac Hayes, Al Green, etc) and we toured a Smithsonian exhibit on Memphis music history. The bars here are fantastic, the women are all gorgeous, and there is a perfect mix of old people and young hotties to make me at ease. Plus, there is a bar called The Flying Saucer that has over 200 beers on tap and collectors plates of The Gambler on the walls. Oh, and there was live music everywhere. Unfortunately, we didn't get to experience everything, so tomorrow we are going to tour the Stax and Sun Records museums. Until then, keep it real.
Trophy Count:
Starbucks City Mugs-2 (Memphis, Indianapolis)
Slurpees Enjoyed-2 (Full Throttle, Coffee)
Bizarre QSR Restaurants-2 (Waffle House, Sonic)
Newspapers-4 (Chicago Sun-Times, Memphis Commercial Appeal, The Tennessean, New York Post)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Road Trippin Day 1
For those not in the know, my roomies and I are road tripping down to the Nashville area to see one Cody Bruce Stevens and also to do all sorts of crazy shit in between. Whenever I have net access, I am going to give a little rundown of the occurrences. Here goes day one.
We left the MPLS metroplex at 10 PM Friday night. I have never driven through Wisconsin late at night, and let me tell you, it is just as boring as driving it during the day (with the added danger of no street lights). After driving nearly straight through, we stopped outside of Rockford to sleep at one of those over the highway mall/rest stops they call Oasis's. Slept for about three hours, and headed out for the Chi-City.
We finally arrived in Chicago around 9 and parked at a Red Line Park and Ride to take the train to Wrigley. When we got to Wrigley, we found the first scalper we could and bought some tickets. This resulted in an awesome scalper fight, which went something like this:
Brah Scapler(Whom we didn't buy tix from): Hey, always buy the first fucking car you see?
Me: Yep, always.
Scalper #1(Whom we DID buy from):Hey, fuck you you fucking prick.
Brah Scalper:Naw man, fuck YOU!
At this point when people stopped being polite and started being real, I realized it was beer time. We went to the Cubby Bear and somehow ran into Grabski's sister and brother-in-law. After having one too many, I bought a Cubs hat and sauntered into Wrigley. Our seats were about 20 rows up on the third base line, and it was awesome. And the Cubs beat the shit out of the Pirates to the point where we left in the 8th because it was really cold and misty.
So we drove around for about an hour trying to find a Girodano's. When we did find one, we were all so fucking exhausted we couldn't enjoy the za as much as one would hope. After that, we found a Comfort INN in Des Planes and slept from 6PM to 7AM due to having been up nearly two days in a row.
Next: All The Way To Nashville(And Memphis, and Atlanta?)
We left the MPLS metroplex at 10 PM Friday night. I have never driven through Wisconsin late at night, and let me tell you, it is just as boring as driving it during the day (with the added danger of no street lights). After driving nearly straight through, we stopped outside of Rockford to sleep at one of those over the highway mall/rest stops they call Oasis's. Slept for about three hours, and headed out for the Chi-City.
We finally arrived in Chicago around 9 and parked at a Red Line Park and Ride to take the train to Wrigley. When we got to Wrigley, we found the first scalper we could and bought some tickets. This resulted in an awesome scalper fight, which went something like this:
Brah Scapler(Whom we didn't buy tix from): Hey, always buy the first fucking car you see?
Me: Yep, always.
Scalper #1(Whom we DID buy from):Hey, fuck you you fucking prick.
Brah Scalper:Naw man, fuck YOU!
At this point when people stopped being polite and started being real, I realized it was beer time. We went to the Cubby Bear and somehow ran into Grabski's sister and brother-in-law. After having one too many, I bought a Cubs hat and sauntered into Wrigley. Our seats were about 20 rows up on the third base line, and it was awesome. And the Cubs beat the shit out of the Pirates to the point where we left in the 8th because it was really cold and misty.
So we drove around for about an hour trying to find a Girodano's. When we did find one, we were all so fucking exhausted we couldn't enjoy the za as much as one would hope. After that, we found a Comfort INN in Des Planes and slept from 6PM to 7AM due to having been up nearly two days in a row.
Next: All The Way To Nashville(And Memphis, and Atlanta?)
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
We Chocolate Crossover
Ah, yes, Spring. Or was we like to call it in Minnesota, the three weeks before Summer...
For some reason, Spring has fucking sucked this year. Sucked more than Larry Craig in a bathhouse in 1976. The weather has felt like what I picture London being like, the Twins are inconsistent, and yesterday, my utility closet filled with my neighbors dookie.
Yep, what I thought was a burst pipe was somehow my neighbors shite. This is quite possibly the grossest fucking thing that I have ever experienced. Trust me, you never feel as humble as when you are cleaning up someone else's doodoo feces and toilet paper. From now on, the U.C. is going to be called the "Michael Jackson Memorial Utility Closet." All will be better if the Wild somehow score a motherfucking goal and beat the Avs. Oh, and I will be at Wrigley Field in six days. That fact is so sexual it makes me want to cry real big boy tears.
The Cuts(DooDoo Wap Is Strong In Here Edition):
X-Ray Spex-Germ Free Adolescents
Radiohead-Videotape
AC/DC-Highway To Hell
KISS-Ladies Room
Arcade Fire-Keep The Car Running.
For some reason, Spring has fucking sucked this year. Sucked more than Larry Craig in a bathhouse in 1976. The weather has felt like what I picture London being like, the Twins are inconsistent, and yesterday, my utility closet filled with my neighbors dookie.
Yep, what I thought was a burst pipe was somehow my neighbors shite. This is quite possibly the grossest fucking thing that I have ever experienced. Trust me, you never feel as humble as when you are cleaning up someone else's doodoo feces and toilet paper. From now on, the U.C. is going to be called the "Michael Jackson Memorial Utility Closet." All will be better if the Wild somehow score a motherfucking goal and beat the Avs. Oh, and I will be at Wrigley Field in six days. That fact is so sexual it makes me want to cry real big boy tears.
The Cuts(DooDoo Wap Is Strong In Here Edition):
X-Ray Spex-Germ Free Adolescents
Radiohead-Videotape
AC/DC-Highway To Hell
KISS-Ladies Room
Arcade Fire-Keep The Car Running.
Monday, April 07, 2008
I Slapbox with Jesus
Reggaeton is one of those musical abnormalities that had about 13 seconds in the sun (for a similar run, see Techno is 1997 or Power Pop in 1991) then faded back comfortably into its niche. The only reggaeton song I can name is "Gasolina" by Daddy Yankee, and I am pretty sure that is because a girl I had a crush on played it one night before we went group salsa dancing. Maybe that guy Pitbull is considered reggaeton, I don't really know. But I digress...
The reason that I bring this up is that my roomie Nathan A. Heck was reading a Mexican Telanueva magazine at work the other day and came across an ad for this gentleman:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=267695889
According to a chart in the Mexican Soap Opera Digest, our boy has the #4 hit in Mexico. Wow. I really don't know if this guy is black, white, Latino or something else, but calling yourself Nigga probably requires the biggest cojones I have ever encountered. Shit, I would never call myself Kraut, or Pollack if I was Polish. Or MC Wap if I was Italian. I'm just amazed by the name. And that reggaeton still has an audience.
The reason that I bring this up is that my roomie Nathan A. Heck was reading a Mexican Telanueva magazine at work the other day and came across an ad for this gentleman:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=267695889
According to a chart in the Mexican Soap Opera Digest, our boy has the #4 hit in Mexico. Wow. I really don't know if this guy is black, white, Latino or something else, but calling yourself Nigga probably requires the biggest cojones I have ever encountered. Shit, I would never call myself Kraut, or Pollack if I was Polish. Or MC Wap if I was Italian. I'm just amazed by the name. And that reggaeton still has an audience.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
We Will Rise From The Ashes
Fridley Cheapo has re-opened! It closed down on 3/29, re-opened sometime last week. Very confusing. When I asked the clerk about the situation, all I got was a "yes, we're open at least for today." I'm not sure that there has ever been a precedent for a retail establishment closing for a week and then reopening randomly like nothing happened. Seriously, they even had the new R.E.M and Black Keys CDs on the new release wall. All I do know is that I am incredibly pleased that I have a CD store less than five miles from my house once again. The thought of having to drive to Uptown for one CD kind of scared me.
In other news, I cannot stand that gas is $3.30 a gallon. Wasn't the liberation of Iraq supposed to drive down oil costs? Oh, and it's spring. Gas us supposed to go down in cost due to there being not as much need for heat. What exactly is happening here? And is there anyway to change it?
In other news, I cannot stand that gas is $3.30 a gallon. Wasn't the liberation of Iraq supposed to drive down oil costs? Oh, and it's spring. Gas us supposed to go down in cost due to there being not as much need for heat. What exactly is happening here? And is there anyway to change it?
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Jake Eickholt Wishes He Ran On Dunkin'
It's 9:30, the Twins look like shit, and I want a cup of coffee.
Not just any coffee. I want coffee with so much sugar and coffee blended into one unholy mess that my teeth feel like they are going to fall out. No simple Starbucks, McDonalds or god forbid, a Caribou will do. I want something from Dunkin Donuts.
But there are none anywhere near me. The closest Dunkin is in Milwaukee. And to think, just three years ago there was a Dunkin Donuts less than five miles from my house. What the fuck is with Minnesotans and their adverse reaction to chain stores? We don't get 7 Eleven, we get Super America. We didn't get Exxon or Shell until like five years ago. Instead, we got bullshit like People's Plus and Fina. I always feel like we are the bastard stepchild of the corporate world. "Oh they don't need a Sonic Drive Inn. They have A&W Hot Dogs and More!"
But back to the lecture at hand. Dunkin Donuts has some really overly caffeinated, overly sugared coffee. And right now, that would be just what the doctor ordered. Either that, or a croissant from Tim Horton's. When the hell are we gonna get one of those?
Not just any coffee. I want coffee with so much sugar and coffee blended into one unholy mess that my teeth feel like they are going to fall out. No simple Starbucks, McDonalds or god forbid, a Caribou will do. I want something from Dunkin Donuts.
But there are none anywhere near me. The closest Dunkin is in Milwaukee. And to think, just three years ago there was a Dunkin Donuts less than five miles from my house. What the fuck is with Minnesotans and their adverse reaction to chain stores? We don't get 7 Eleven, we get Super America. We didn't get Exxon or Shell until like five years ago. Instead, we got bullshit like People's Plus and Fina. I always feel like we are the bastard stepchild of the corporate world. "Oh they don't need a Sonic Drive Inn. They have A&W Hot Dogs and More!"
But back to the lecture at hand. Dunkin Donuts has some really overly caffeinated, overly sugared coffee. And right now, that would be just what the doctor ordered. Either that, or a croissant from Tim Horton's. When the hell are we gonna get one of those?
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Mabye I'M Crazy (aka A Treatise On The Death Of The CD)
The death of the Compact Disc is closer than you would ever think. Most say that the CD will die within the next ten years, but after my experience tonight, I give it three years. Tops.
It all started last evening, when I started up iTunes and saw that the new Gnarls Barkley album "The Odd Couple" was for sale. I had read that it leaked, so I figured that it was releasing today. I was wrong. The music was only available via download, not in conventional CD form. I went to Target and they had none in stock. If Target can carry niche CDs by Vampire Weekend and MIA, I figured that they would have Gnarls (who went platinum last time out). Nope.
Turns out that the CD will be for sale as soon as it hits retail, that it went on iTunes due to the leak. I don't believe it at all. This was a test to see what kind of demand music will have when there is no physical product available. I know for a fact that Target, Wal-Mart, Best Buy, et al get media in about six weeks average before its release date. Most would have had the CD in stock. My theory is that Downtown Records told retail to sit on the CD for a week to see how well it would sell without the product being in stores. Think about how much the label could make by not having to ship anything, let alone produce artwork and casing. One gold selling CD could make a label a couple million dollars only being available in digital form. Obviously it is a good business model, but I feel cheated buying air and not having a physical product.
It all reminds me of when my dad went to buy an LP at Title Wave around 1988 or 89. The clerk told him he could order it for him for an extra $5, or he could just buy the cassette or CD which they had in stock. I remember how sad he was that vinyl was dead and how much he complained about cassettes and their inferior quality. That is the same way I feel about digital over CDs(or vinyl for that matter). It's the end of an era, and there's no turning back.
It all started last evening, when I started up iTunes and saw that the new Gnarls Barkley album "The Odd Couple" was for sale. I had read that it leaked, so I figured that it was releasing today. I was wrong. The music was only available via download, not in conventional CD form. I went to Target and they had none in stock. If Target can carry niche CDs by Vampire Weekend and MIA, I figured that they would have Gnarls (who went platinum last time out). Nope.
Turns out that the CD will be for sale as soon as it hits retail, that it went on iTunes due to the leak. I don't believe it at all. This was a test to see what kind of demand music will have when there is no physical product available. I know for a fact that Target, Wal-Mart, Best Buy, et al get media in about six weeks average before its release date. Most would have had the CD in stock. My theory is that Downtown Records told retail to sit on the CD for a week to see how well it would sell without the product being in stores. Think about how much the label could make by not having to ship anything, let alone produce artwork and casing. One gold selling CD could make a label a couple million dollars only being available in digital form. Obviously it is a good business model, but I feel cheated buying air and not having a physical product.
It all reminds me of when my dad went to buy an LP at Title Wave around 1988 or 89. The clerk told him he could order it for him for an extra $5, or he could just buy the cassette or CD which they had in stock. I remember how sad he was that vinyl was dead and how much he complained about cassettes and their inferior quality. That is the same way I feel about digital over CDs(or vinyl for that matter). It's the end of an era, and there's no turning back.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Voulez Vous Couchet Avec Moi, C'est Soi?
Goddamn, that chick that the Gov of New York paid money to bang is really, really hot. So hot that if I were a politician (or an installation coordinator) I would pay an exuberant amount of money to have sex with. I mean, really, she's right in the Jake Eickholt alleyway. Kinda Jew-y, brunette, and with just the right amount of Thicke. Oh "Kristen", I'm lost without you, can't help myself.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Closing Time, You Don't Have To Go Home But You Can't...Stay...Here
Whilst at the gym tonight, sexy Julie Nelson told me in High-Def that the Legislature is trying to pass a bill allowing bars to be open an extra two hours during the month of the RNC in Saint Paul. I wasn't sure she said MPLS too (because I was too busy thinking about how I need to get High-Def to watch KARE 11 she-anchors) but I can only assume. If this were to happen, it would be right up there with obtaining a copy of "Bad Sister" in things that I wish would happen really soon. It would be so awesome to be a real city, I would feel like Drunknoccio and T-Paw would be my mulleted Gepetto. This would be colossal, to the point where I would have to take at least a week off of work and save up for cabs. Just imagine how much more drunker you could get in that extra two hours. People wouldn't go out until after midnight, Denny's would combust with the weight of drunken brahs, and hangovers would be the fashion of Fall! Sorry about the ranting, its just that I remember the days of 1 o'clock bar close and how bad that was on the fun. Four A.M would be an additional hour on Matchbox 20s second biggest hit even. Take that Rob Thomas!
In other news, I just read that the new Black Keys album was produced by Danger Mouse. This thing is going to be GIGANTIC!, like top ten Billboard gigantic. Honestly, the Black Keys are the only band that I hear generating any kind of buzz from the non-core of music freaks that I hang out with. When my dad asks about them, you know somethings up.
RIP Jeff Healy...what the hell is this Road House curse going around. First Healy dies, then Dalton gets pancreatic cancer...I just wish it was a curse of Point Break that only effected Lori Petty. That bitch always rubbed me the wrong way.
In other news, I just read that the new Black Keys album was produced by Danger Mouse. This thing is going to be GIGANTIC!, like top ten Billboard gigantic. Honestly, the Black Keys are the only band that I hear generating any kind of buzz from the non-core of music freaks that I hang out with. When my dad asks about them, you know somethings up.
RIP Jeff Healy...what the hell is this Road House curse going around. First Healy dies, then Dalton gets pancreatic cancer...I just wish it was a curse of Point Break that only effected Lori Petty. That bitch always rubbed me the wrong way.
Monday, March 03, 2008
You're Making Me Sorry Somehow
Thanks for the shit ton of nicknames that you posted. There's for sure gonna be a Part II and a Part III...much like Rocky III, III's gonna be the best part. Now only if you could help me find this 90s porn called "Bad Sister"(lets say it features a mother/daughter team, Asia Carerre, and two "adopted sisters" performing Colonel Angus with ice cubes) my life would be complete. Hell, at this point I would settle for the Jill Kelly ESPN knockoff anchor porn where the head anchor says that women "don't know squat shit about football. They just think they knows that Dan Marino and John Elways cute."
I made sweet love to the record show this weekend, where I acquired the first three Turtles albums(re-released), an OG pressing of New York Dolls S/T, the Raspberries second album and the Jackson 5 "ABC". Good shit, and I also bought a rack for my records, so the step kids can breathe.
Oh, and finally, (mainly for Peter H. Quist and myself) I found the original copy of the Grant Hart City Pages article where he tries to rip Tim Pawlenty a new asshole but comes off as the most pretentious, uneducated 80s indie icon this side of Mike Watt. I think that this was the article that cemented my belief that "Zen Arcade" is incredibly overrated. Enjoy!
http://citypages.com/databank/25/1208/article11838.asp
I made sweet love to the record show this weekend, where I acquired the first three Turtles albums(re-released), an OG pressing of New York Dolls S/T, the Raspberries second album and the Jackson 5 "ABC". Good shit, and I also bought a rack for my records, so the step kids can breathe.
Oh, and finally, (mainly for Peter H. Quist and myself) I found the original copy of the Grant Hart City Pages article where he tries to rip Tim Pawlenty a new asshole but comes off as the most pretentious, uneducated 80s indie icon this side of Mike Watt. I think that this was the article that cemented my belief that "Zen Arcade" is incredibly overrated. Enjoy!
http://citypages.com/databank/25/1208/article11838.asp
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
What's My Nayayayayayayuhme?
I'm a mess, my friends are all messes, and I'm pretty sure my extended family are all messes. This is why we give the bit players in our lives nicknames. What makes it even more of a mess is that I'm not even sure other people do this. And even worse, I know that I do not know the good majority of the people's REAL names. Anyways, heres a few of the best ones, and how they came about.
"Gay Gusser"- This dude was some kid who used to go out with Milla and drink. He looked like The Gusser(Gus Johnson), dressed like the Gusser, but loved penis. He hung out with...
"Date Rape"-Date Rape told me that his TKE frat at the U threw killer parties where you could "just finger chicks and they were too drunk to care." He also hung out with Gay Gusser and wore pooka shells. Right, Brah!
"Joan Of Arcadia"-This was a crazy broad that Milla tried to set me up with. She looked like Joan Of Arcadia. I'm not going into details, but there was some cock blocking on my part, and some flaking out.
"Fetus Boy"-One of Millas boys(again). He looked like a fetus. He also rapped along to "Can I Kick It?", did the bus driver, and chased a car down Bryant Ave in his socks in January. All in the course of two hours. I often wonder what happened to Fetus Boy.
"That Whore_____Fucked"-For random whores who got fucked. Not for nice girls, or girls that were not fucked BUT other stuff was done with.
"Ghetto Fabulous(AKA Ghetto Frab or G-Fab)"-A white girl who looked like Mary J. I one time petted her leg and said "Is this shit Sean John?" which got my ear boxed. She also dressed like R Kelly on the cover of TP2.com.
"Teen Wolf"-A dude who looked like Teen Wolf. He made Karkov Screwdrivers, told ribald oral sex stories, and pulled a knife on Jeff. Probably because we were yelling "Teen Wolf" at him.
"Picture Me Rolland"-A strange cat who wanted to befriend me on MySpace but couldn't find me. Because my MySpace name isn't, oh, "Jake Eickholt".
"White Tupac" and "Harland Williams"-Brother pair at a party at Stacy's one month townhouse who were the biggest douche brother pair since the Maloofs. I watched White Tupac puke and pee on some guys house, then got flicked off when I laughed. Harland claimed he was Latin Kings and wanted to kill Christian for no fucking reason.
"Scarecrow Haircrow"-Stereotypical bad haired Valley Girl.
"Josh Bachman's Girlfriend"-Still don't remember her name. All I know is that she worked at Davannis.
"Ash Bash"-A girl that Milla hung out with who allowed us to have 70 people over to her stepdads McMansion. She got her name from the party, which was called "Ash Bash". The party was the only good thing. That and when Cody made out with her while a bunch of people laughed.
"Brewers Shirt"-Some fox that rocked a Brewers little league shirt. I still talk about how sexy Brewers Shirt was
"Andre The Giant"-A dude who looked like Andre Jr from "Final Fight". He also answered a question once with the line, "I don't know about that, but are we all gonna smoke these bomb nuggs that I have?" Very Zen.
And now, for the some of the most legendary nicknames of all time from back in the Farmin' Days! Thats right, its the...
EBHC DIVISION
"EmHead"-For the jerkoff catering director at the EBHC back in the day.
"The Mole"-For the other catering director there, Cory. He used to snoop around all the time and then tell on us when we stole shit from catering.
"Goblin Twins"-The janitorial staff who wasn't Tom Cooley at EBHC. One day, Tom Cooley will get a blog about him. The others won't.
"The Robots"-Two sexy catering chicks who will forever remain nameless
"Soup Layday"-MILF soup vendor.
"The Juicer"-If you don't know the Juicer now, you never will. As a matter of fact, I miss that little guy. I was just thinking about when Peter Harold yelled "In Uh Bottle" at him for 10 minutes straight the other day...
"Taytayboyo"-Oh, you'll experiment...I bet $100 that this came from porn GOAT TT Boy somehow.
"Doug E. Fresh"- Doug wanted to kill me very badly.
"John LeFemme"-Was once seen in close proximity with The Juicer.
"BJB"-Duh
"Church Grrls"-A group of churchy lafemmes who stunk up the joint.
"Boner or T-Bone"-For Mike T, who was the King of Jams.
Any others I've missed from those who have been a part of the insanity over the last decade?
"Gay Gusser"- This dude was some kid who used to go out with Milla and drink. He looked like The Gusser(Gus Johnson), dressed like the Gusser, but loved penis. He hung out with...
"Date Rape"-Date Rape told me that his TKE frat at the U threw killer parties where you could "just finger chicks and they were too drunk to care." He also hung out with Gay Gusser and wore pooka shells. Right, Brah!
"Joan Of Arcadia"-This was a crazy broad that Milla tried to set me up with. She looked like Joan Of Arcadia. I'm not going into details, but there was some cock blocking on my part, and some flaking out.
"Fetus Boy"-One of Millas boys(again). He looked like a fetus. He also rapped along to "Can I Kick It?", did the bus driver, and chased a car down Bryant Ave in his socks in January. All in the course of two hours. I often wonder what happened to Fetus Boy.
"That Whore_____Fucked"-For random whores who got fucked. Not for nice girls, or girls that were not fucked BUT other stuff was done with.
"Ghetto Fabulous(AKA Ghetto Frab or G-Fab)"-A white girl who looked like Mary J. I one time petted her leg and said "Is this shit Sean John?" which got my ear boxed. She also dressed like R Kelly on the cover of TP2.com.
"Teen Wolf"-A dude who looked like Teen Wolf. He made Karkov Screwdrivers, told ribald oral sex stories, and pulled a knife on Jeff. Probably because we were yelling "Teen Wolf" at him.
"Picture Me Rolland"-A strange cat who wanted to befriend me on MySpace but couldn't find me. Because my MySpace name isn't, oh, "Jake Eickholt".
"White Tupac" and "Harland Williams"-Brother pair at a party at Stacy's one month townhouse who were the biggest douche brother pair since the Maloofs. I watched White Tupac puke and pee on some guys house, then got flicked off when I laughed. Harland claimed he was Latin Kings and wanted to kill Christian for no fucking reason.
"Scarecrow Haircrow"-Stereotypical bad haired Valley Girl.
"Josh Bachman's Girlfriend"-Still don't remember her name. All I know is that she worked at Davannis.
"Ash Bash"-A girl that Milla hung out with who allowed us to have 70 people over to her stepdads McMansion. She got her name from the party, which was called "Ash Bash". The party was the only good thing. That and when Cody made out with her while a bunch of people laughed.
"Brewers Shirt"-Some fox that rocked a Brewers little league shirt. I still talk about how sexy Brewers Shirt was
"Andre The Giant"-A dude who looked like Andre Jr from "Final Fight". He also answered a question once with the line, "I don't know about that, but are we all gonna smoke these bomb nuggs that I have?" Very Zen.
And now, for the some of the most legendary nicknames of all time from back in the Farmin' Days! Thats right, its the...
EBHC DIVISION
"EmHead"-For the jerkoff catering director at the EBHC back in the day.
"The Mole"-For the other catering director there, Cory. He used to snoop around all the time and then tell on us when we stole shit from catering.
"Goblin Twins"-The janitorial staff who wasn't Tom Cooley at EBHC. One day, Tom Cooley will get a blog about him. The others won't.
"The Robots"-Two sexy catering chicks who will forever remain nameless
"Soup Layday"-MILF soup vendor.
"The Juicer"-If you don't know the Juicer now, you never will. As a matter of fact, I miss that little guy. I was just thinking about when Peter Harold yelled "In Uh Bottle" at him for 10 minutes straight the other day...
"Taytayboyo"-Oh, you'll experiment...I bet $100 that this came from porn GOAT TT Boy somehow.
"Doug E. Fresh"- Doug wanted to kill me very badly.
"John LeFemme"-Was once seen in close proximity with The Juicer.
"BJB"-Duh
"Church Grrls"-A group of churchy lafemmes who stunk up the joint.
"Boner or T-Bone"-For Mike T, who was the King of Jams.
Any others I've missed from those who have been a part of the insanity over the last decade?
Monday, February 25, 2008
Did You Realize That You Were A Champion In Their Eyes?
Fucking Wolves. 0-2 in games that I have attended this year. This is a direct contrast to what happened last year, when the Wolves beat the hell out of the Sonics and nipped the Spurs in the two games I went to. Oh well, lets hope that the "rebuilding year" doesn't last until 2010. That seems to be MN sports for you. A few years of excitement, followed by 10 to 12 years of not-even-middle-of-the-road play.
At least we have Big Al...
The Cuts!
"Temptation Eyes"-Grass Roots
"Two Brothers With Checks"-Ultramagnetic MCs
"Can't Stand Me Now"-The Libertines
"Apeman"-The Kinks
"Duffel Bag Boy"-Lil Wayne(I actually don't like this song when sober)
At least we have Big Al...
The Cuts!
"Temptation Eyes"-Grass Roots
"Two Brothers With Checks"-Ultramagnetic MCs
"Can't Stand Me Now"-The Libertines
"Apeman"-The Kinks
"Duffel Bag Boy"-Lil Wayne(I actually don't like this song when sober)
Monday, February 18, 2008
Baby, What A Big Surpirse
Best Buy has been treating me like a dirty little schoolgirl whore for the last few months. It used to be so good to me, giving me little things like new CDs for $7.99 and Madden for $35 bucks all the time. But lately we haven't been talking at all, and I have been seeing other stores (Half Price Books and Target have really been fufilling my every deviant desire). But then yesterday, out of nowhere, the Double B called me...and like a fool in love, I went back into his blue and yellow arms. The promise that brought me back? Gangster flicks for $5 each! I picked up The Godfather I and II, but they had tons of others too. And as if saying to me, "Hey Jake, your butt looks really good in those jeans AND is that a new shirt?" Big Blue (that's my pet name) offered me American Psycho for $4. Baby, to quote Sergio Mendes, I'm never gonna let you go, I'm gonna hold you in my arms forever.
The Cuts!(Every Time I Turn Around I'm Back In Love Again Edition)
-"She'd Rather Be With Me" The Turtles
-"Lover In The Snow" Rivers Cuomo
-"Think About Me" Fleetwood Mac
-"Ain't No Fun(If The Homies Can't Have None)" Snoop Dogg
-"Fooled Around and Fell In Love" Elvin Bishop
The Cuts!(Every Time I Turn Around I'm Back In Love Again Edition)
-"She'd Rather Be With Me" The Turtles
-"Lover In The Snow" Rivers Cuomo
-"Think About Me" Fleetwood Mac
-"Ain't No Fun(If The Homies Can't Have None)" Snoop Dogg
-"Fooled Around and Fell In Love" Elvin Bishop
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Will You Be My Valentine, When I'm A World Away?
February 14th has come and gone, and good Lord am I a better person for it. For some reason, this Valentine's Day seemed way more hyped than my previous 24. Because of this, those with actual Valentines were ever more annoying, and those without were much more unhappy. I'm not sure why anyone would care about one day over all the others to say "I love you." I truly believe in Valentines Day being a Hallmark bullshit holiday.
That is why I treated V-Day like it was just another Thrusday. I went to Old Chi, played "Monday Morning" by Fleetwood Mac on the jukebox, drank some beers and went to Cheapo. The best part of my day wasn't some candy or a card, but the kickass bottle opener I got for reaching 40 beers on the Beer Tour. Personally, I haven't had a Valentine for 4 years. And I really don't give a flying fuck. It doesn't make me sad, or lonely, or pathetic.
And I know that my mommie will always be my Valentine. I even bet there's a Whitman's Sampler with my name on it waiting at my parents house right now.
That is why I treated V-Day like it was just another Thrusday. I went to Old Chi, played "Monday Morning" by Fleetwood Mac on the jukebox, drank some beers and went to Cheapo. The best part of my day wasn't some candy or a card, but the kickass bottle opener I got for reaching 40 beers on the Beer Tour. Personally, I haven't had a Valentine for 4 years. And I really don't give a flying fuck. It doesn't make me sad, or lonely, or pathetic.
And I know that my mommie will always be my Valentine. I even bet there's a Whitman's Sampler with my name on it waiting at my parents house right now.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Super Stoopid
So I went over to the 'rents tonight, and my brothers and I were talking about sports. Not unusual. I mentioned how the Pats didn't meet the spread, and that cost Vegas huge and there were some grunts of agreement. Still not unusual, until my brother Jordan said, "so who exactly won the game?"
WHAT?
Turns out my brother had turned off the game after Moss scored in the 4th Quarter because he assumed the Pats would win. Somehow he has avoided seeing highlights or reading the paper for the last seven days (he works the third shift at UPS, so this is sort of understandable). In my brothers world, the New England Patriots were 19-0 for a week. The best part was that he has seen the Eli Manning "I'm going to Disney World" commercial multiple times, and just figured Brady or Moss didn't want to do it or that a Patriots helmet was shown at the end of the spot. All I have to say is, what the fuck?
WHAT?
Turns out my brother had turned off the game after Moss scored in the 4th Quarter because he assumed the Pats would win. Somehow he has avoided seeing highlights or reading the paper for the last seven days (he works the third shift at UPS, so this is sort of understandable). In my brothers world, the New England Patriots were 19-0 for a week. The best part was that he has seen the Eli Manning "I'm going to Disney World" commercial multiple times, and just figured Brady or Moss didn't want to do it or that a Patriots helmet was shown at the end of the spot. All I have to say is, what the fuck?
Monday, February 04, 2008
Don't Ask Me, Ask Me, Ask Me How I've Been
How did the Pats blow the Super Bowl? How is Eli Manning going to be able to introduce himself for all time now as "Eli Manning, Super Bowl XLII MVP"? What the hell is going on in the world?
Oh, OK, I know that the Pats were sluggish and Brady was pressured beyond belief, but it wasn't supposed to end like this. Now we are going to have to hear Mercury Morris rants for the rest of time. You just know there is not going to be another undefeated team in NFL history. There is just way too much parity in the league. I guarantee that the Giants will not win the Super Bowl next year, and I give them a 50/50 chance of getting to the playoffs. Eli will come back down to Earth, realize that he is way to similar to Artie in "Whats Eating Gilbert Grape" to actually be a good QB, and all will be right with the world. Meaning, the Purp will lose in the second round and some bullshit NFC team such as, oh, lets say the Lions, will go to Super Bowl XLIII.
The Cuts(Super Ball Version):
"Be My Lover"-Alice Cooper
"Berlin"-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"Ocean Man"-Ween
"Don't Go Back To Rockville"-R.E.M
"She Belongs To Me"-Bob Dylan
Oh, OK, I know that the Pats were sluggish and Brady was pressured beyond belief, but it wasn't supposed to end like this. Now we are going to have to hear Mercury Morris rants for the rest of time. You just know there is not going to be another undefeated team in NFL history. There is just way too much parity in the league. I guarantee that the Giants will not win the Super Bowl next year, and I give them a 50/50 chance of getting to the playoffs. Eli will come back down to Earth, realize that he is way to similar to Artie in "Whats Eating Gilbert Grape" to actually be a good QB, and all will be right with the world. Meaning, the Purp will lose in the second round and some bullshit NFC team such as, oh, lets say the Lions, will go to Super Bowl XLIII.
The Cuts(Super Ball Version):
"Be My Lover"-Alice Cooper
"Berlin"-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"Ocean Man"-Ween
"Don't Go Back To Rockville"-R.E.M
"She Belongs To Me"-Bob Dylan
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
These Drunken Hot Daddies
So fans, I got a new tattoo...kinda like Motley Crue's late period album, except mine doesn't suck. Its the Twins "TC" logo with an outline of the state of Minnesota. And then, the Twinks go and trade Johan. I give you my arm, and you give away yours.
And what do we get? Some prospects. Not Jacoby, not John Lester, not Philip Hughes, not Melky...but some unproven cats who may or may not contribute. We all know that Terry Ryan was known for trading his superstars at the pinnacle of their careers for minor league gold, but I'm a little worried Bill Smith isn't Terry Ryan. I hope the Twins know something I don't know. Look at the blockbuster trades in the past and how the superstar panned out (and what we got in return):- Frank Viola to the Mets in 1989- Sweet Music had one more good year, and then his arm blew up. Meanwhile, the Twins got Rick Aguleria, Kevin Tapani and David West. All three were on the 1991 World Series winning roster, and all contributed.
- Chuck Knoblauch to the Yankees in 1998- Chuck won a few World Series, then had a nervous breakdown and hit Keith Olberman's mom in the face with a baseball from 20 feet away. Then he (maybe)roided up and has to testify before Congress. The Twins got Eric Milton and Christian Guzman, who were keys in the resurgence of the franchise. Way to go, Chuck!
- A.J. Pierzynski to the Giants in 2004-A.J. became the most reviled baseball player in years, but won a WS with the Sox...after the Giants booted his ass out of town. And the Twins got one of the top three closers in baseball (Joe Nathan), a starter (BOOOOOOOOF) and a phenom(Fransisco Liriano).
Hopefully Bill Smith learned something from his Jedi-Master Ryan in the trading department.
In other news...I also obtained a bunch of vinyl recently, including The Turtles Greatest Hits. In my not-so-humble opinion The Turtles were the most underrated band of the 60s. They wrote amazing songs and even had the balls to release a concept album called "The Turtles In The Battle Of The Bands" where they played as a different band on each track. Also, half the band went on to play with Frank Zappa in the early 70's. Pretty impressive for a band that was considered bubblegum at the time.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
2007- The Year In Music
Here it is, the 4th annual Jake Eickholt music year in review blog.
Singles of 2007:
"International Players Anthem” UGK/Outkast-When history digs up the best hip-hop collabs of all time, this will be right up there with “Rampage”, the “Get By” remix and “Scenario”. Andre tells us about the finer points of texting, Pimp C describes how he likes to get down (on top of the covers, always a condom), Bun B tries to find him a steady bitch and Big Boi discusses pulling out and child support. Oh, and the video is easily in the top five of all time.
“I’m A Flirt” R. Kelly w/T.I and T-Pain-The aural equivalent of the Beef and Sausage with sweet peppers and cheese whiz at Chris and Rob’s. There’s a lot of shit in there, you know its not good for you, you question your sanity when you take it in. But when you do, you find it delicious and magical. And it gives you heartburn. Bonus points for the video featuring the R. Kelly face being featured five times at least, T-Pain shaking like a retarded Tickle Me Elmo, T.I.s wearing his hat like Mick from “Rocky” and the crowning of “The King Of R’N’B” by hookers.
“Big Girls Don’t Cry” Fergie- It doesn’t matter who wrote it OR who preformed it. It’s catchy as hell and well crafted pop cheese. And yes, “London Bridge” was the worst song of 2006.
“Chelsea Dagger”-Four Scotts take their stage name from “The Goonies” and come up with one of the best wordless choruses since the mid 60s (when wordless choruses were all the rage).
“This Is For Real” Motion City Soundtrack- Local boys meet Ric Ockasek, Shiny keyboard riffs and emo man lyrics ensue. How can Fall Out Boy sell out arenas, and these guys can’t get anything but “next big thing” status?
“Wouldn’t Get Far” The Game w/Kanye West- The Game goes away from his usual badazz shtick to call out video ho’s. The Kanye delivers a hot beat and a fan fucking tastic guest verse about Ne-Yo, Geos and how many black foxes he’s bagged.
“Radio Nowhere”-Bruce is back, kicking radios ass and asking if anyone is alive anymore. If 1984 sucked as bad as 2007 did, this song could have been on “Born In The USA.”
“Do You Feel Me” Anthony Hamilton-Even though your song doesn’t have a question mark, I do indeed feel this lost soul gem that wasn’t actually lost at all (except by commercial radio, which felt the need to play “Crank That”).
“Men’s Needs” The Cribs- Morris Day was wrong. We like new wave.
“We’ve Got Everything”-What kind of fucked up year was it that Modest Mouse had a #1 album? And also, that Johnny Marr PLAYED on a #1 album that wasn’t released in the UK? Oh well, this was the best song on a pretty decent album
“She Moves In Her Own Way” The Kooks- Little ditty bout the perfect girl who cares about how her boy’s day went.
“Effect & Cause”-The songs that Jack White sings kinda like a girl are the best. It’s kind of like Jack would have had Meg sing this if she didn’t kind of suck at singing. Here’s to hoping for a Loretta Lynn cover in 2009!
“Hate It Here” Wilco-Wilco is like one of those Hershey’s grab bags old women buy, in good way. You’ve got your Mr. Goodbar (classic rock), your Krackel (blue eyed soul) and your dark chocolate Hershey’s (60s pop). This was the Krackel of “Sky Blue Sky’.
“No One” Alicia Keys- A song so catchy, so effortless, it would have topped the charts in 1957, 1967, 1977, 1987 or 1997.
“Smile” Lilly Allen-Cute little Brit gets all happy and sassy about her shithead ex being hurt over a sweet, vaguely Caribbean beat. A #1 in the UK that deserved better than #48 here.
Albums of the Year:
“Magic” Bruce Springsteen- It was a big year for a guy who has had a few of em. All of the sudden, indie rock tells us that the Boss really was the Boss, and the Boss says thanks. Then, he kicks all of their asses by making a classic rocker in the vein of “Born To Run” and “Born in the USA”.
“Because Of The Times” Kings of Leon- At this point in the game, it seems impossible for Kings of Leon to make anything but a rockin, kickass album. Yet, every album still seems fresh and not repetitive. And the bag of tricks expands with new sounds each time (listen to “Knocked Up” for an example).
“Graduation” Kanye West- So many hooks! So many classic lines (like I'll never be picture-perfect Beyonce/Be light as Al B or black as Chonce/Remember him from Blackstreet? He was as black as the street was). Really, what rapper samples Daft Punk and sells millions because of it besides Mr. West?
“Version” Mark Ronson- Famous Brit calls his famous Brit friends (Lilly Allen, Amy Winehouse, Robbie Williams) and takes modern songs and makes them sound like 60s soul with a little help from his American friends(the Dap-Kings). Awesome shit ensues.
“Yours To Keep” Albert Hammond Jr- Stroke Albert Hammond Jr took his dads big hit “It Never Rains in Southern California” a bit too litteraly and recorded an album full of smooth Cali pop that sounds a bit like his day job, but not too much so to make the whole thing redundant.
“Costello Music” The Fratellis- The album released in 2007 that would have felt most at home in 1977. There were lots of na-na-nas and duh-duh-duhs, and a lot of songs about chicks. And it was catchy as hell.
“Hip Hop Is Dead” Nas- All the shit hoppers claimed it was still alive. Then, Soulja Boy hit #1 on the Hot 100, making Nastradamus as real as Mountain Dew Code Red.
“A Weekend In the City” Bloc Party- An album so tender, so fey, that Morrissey must have thrown gladiolas at his CD player the first time he heard it.
“Finding Forever” Common- Common has become the rap equivalent of Kings Of Leon. He is incapable of releasing any less than a good album. This time, he raps about Obama, the crazy astronaut lady and “Finding Nemo”, and it all seems to make perfect sense.
Boxset/Reissues
“The Brit Box”- If you know me, this one gets a big DUH. Four discs of underground Brit music.
“Traveling Wilburys Collection”-A band that was such a super group that Jeff Lynne (who had something like 25 top 40 hits with ELO) is the forgotten one. With this much talent making the broth, you’d think the songs would be mediocre. One listen to “Handle With Care” or “Last Night” proves that really wrong. The fact that this was out of print until this year even made the AP newswire.
Concert:
Lollapalooza-Even though it wasn't as good as 2006, Lolla did have Pearl Jam as it's headliner, along with plenty of other good bands. And it is in Chicago. What could be better?
Singles of 2007:
"International Players Anthem” UGK/Outkast-When history digs up the best hip-hop collabs of all time, this will be right up there with “Rampage”, the “Get By” remix and “Scenario”. Andre tells us about the finer points of texting, Pimp C describes how he likes to get down (on top of the covers, always a condom), Bun B tries to find him a steady bitch and Big Boi discusses pulling out and child support. Oh, and the video is easily in the top five of all time.
“I’m A Flirt” R. Kelly w/T.I and T-Pain-The aural equivalent of the Beef and Sausage with sweet peppers and cheese whiz at Chris and Rob’s. There’s a lot of shit in there, you know its not good for you, you question your sanity when you take it in. But when you do, you find it delicious and magical. And it gives you heartburn. Bonus points for the video featuring the R. Kelly face being featured five times at least, T-Pain shaking like a retarded Tickle Me Elmo, T.I.s wearing his hat like Mick from “Rocky” and the crowning of “The King Of R’N’B” by hookers.
“Big Girls Don’t Cry” Fergie- It doesn’t matter who wrote it OR who preformed it. It’s catchy as hell and well crafted pop cheese. And yes, “London Bridge” was the worst song of 2006.
“Chelsea Dagger”-Four Scotts take their stage name from “The Goonies” and come up with one of the best wordless choruses since the mid 60s (when wordless choruses were all the rage).
“This Is For Real” Motion City Soundtrack- Local boys meet Ric Ockasek, Shiny keyboard riffs and emo man lyrics ensue. How can Fall Out Boy sell out arenas, and these guys can’t get anything but “next big thing” status?
“Wouldn’t Get Far” The Game w/Kanye West- The Game goes away from his usual badazz shtick to call out video ho’s. The Kanye delivers a hot beat and a fan fucking tastic guest verse about Ne-Yo, Geos and how many black foxes he’s bagged.
“Radio Nowhere”-Bruce is back, kicking radios ass and asking if anyone is alive anymore. If 1984 sucked as bad as 2007 did, this song could have been on “Born In The USA.”
“Do You Feel Me” Anthony Hamilton-Even though your song doesn’t have a question mark, I do indeed feel this lost soul gem that wasn’t actually lost at all (except by commercial radio, which felt the need to play “Crank That”).
“Men’s Needs” The Cribs- Morris Day was wrong. We like new wave.
“We’ve Got Everything”-What kind of fucked up year was it that Modest Mouse had a #1 album? And also, that Johnny Marr PLAYED on a #1 album that wasn’t released in the UK? Oh well, this was the best song on a pretty decent album
“She Moves In Her Own Way” The Kooks- Little ditty bout the perfect girl who cares about how her boy’s day went.
“Effect & Cause”-The songs that Jack White sings kinda like a girl are the best. It’s kind of like Jack would have had Meg sing this if she didn’t kind of suck at singing. Here’s to hoping for a Loretta Lynn cover in 2009!
“Hate It Here” Wilco-Wilco is like one of those Hershey’s grab bags old women buy, in good way. You’ve got your Mr. Goodbar (classic rock), your Krackel (blue eyed soul) and your dark chocolate Hershey’s (60s pop). This was the Krackel of “Sky Blue Sky’.
“No One” Alicia Keys- A song so catchy, so effortless, it would have topped the charts in 1957, 1967, 1977, 1987 or 1997.
“Smile” Lilly Allen-Cute little Brit gets all happy and sassy about her shithead ex being hurt over a sweet, vaguely Caribbean beat. A #1 in the UK that deserved better than #48 here.
Albums of the Year:
“Magic” Bruce Springsteen- It was a big year for a guy who has had a few of em. All of the sudden, indie rock tells us that the Boss really was the Boss, and the Boss says thanks. Then, he kicks all of their asses by making a classic rocker in the vein of “Born To Run” and “Born in the USA”.
“Because Of The Times” Kings of Leon- At this point in the game, it seems impossible for Kings of Leon to make anything but a rockin, kickass album. Yet, every album still seems fresh and not repetitive. And the bag of tricks expands with new sounds each time (listen to “Knocked Up” for an example).
“Graduation” Kanye West- So many hooks! So many classic lines (like I'll never be picture-perfect Beyonce/Be light as Al B or black as Chonce/Remember him from Blackstreet? He was as black as the street was). Really, what rapper samples Daft Punk and sells millions because of it besides Mr. West?
“Version” Mark Ronson- Famous Brit calls his famous Brit friends (Lilly Allen, Amy Winehouse, Robbie Williams) and takes modern songs and makes them sound like 60s soul with a little help from his American friends(the Dap-Kings). Awesome shit ensues.
“Yours To Keep” Albert Hammond Jr- Stroke Albert Hammond Jr took his dads big hit “It Never Rains in Southern California” a bit too litteraly and recorded an album full of smooth Cali pop that sounds a bit like his day job, but not too much so to make the whole thing redundant.
“Costello Music” The Fratellis- The album released in 2007 that would have felt most at home in 1977. There were lots of na-na-nas and duh-duh-duhs, and a lot of songs about chicks. And it was catchy as hell.
“Hip Hop Is Dead” Nas- All the shit hoppers claimed it was still alive. Then, Soulja Boy hit #1 on the Hot 100, making Nastradamus as real as Mountain Dew Code Red.
“A Weekend In the City” Bloc Party- An album so tender, so fey, that Morrissey must have thrown gladiolas at his CD player the first time he heard it.
“Finding Forever” Common- Common has become the rap equivalent of Kings Of Leon. He is incapable of releasing any less than a good album. This time, he raps about Obama, the crazy astronaut lady and “Finding Nemo”, and it all seems to make perfect sense.
Boxset/Reissues
“The Brit Box”- If you know me, this one gets a big DUH. Four discs of underground Brit music.
“Traveling Wilburys Collection”-A band that was such a super group that Jeff Lynne (who had something like 25 top 40 hits with ELO) is the forgotten one. With this much talent making the broth, you’d think the songs would be mediocre. One listen to “Handle With Care” or “Last Night” proves that really wrong. The fact that this was out of print until this year even made the AP newswire.
Concert:
Lollapalooza-Even though it wasn't as good as 2006, Lolla did have Pearl Jam as it's headliner, along with plenty of other good bands. And it is in Chicago. What could be better?
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Sweetheart, Who Loved You From The Start?
Not much new on the home front. I have just been buying a bunch of CDs and eating a bunch of sour cream and chive cracker sandwiches. Oh, and I'm gearing up for Cloud Trip V. Its gonna be legendary.
Unfortunately, my life recently has consisted of work and work, with a liberal sprinkling of work on top of that. I work 50 hours at my day job this week and 16 at the Bucks. I really need money though, so it pays off. Oh, and I picked some dude (I didn't even bother to learn his name) from the help desk at work to quit, and it got me ten bucks in the work dead pool. I never win anything like that, except when I won the real people dead pool in 2006 by guessing, unfortunately, that the Twins PA guy would die.
Be on the lookout for the best of 2007 list this weekend(hopefully).
Unfortunately, my life recently has consisted of work and work, with a liberal sprinkling of work on top of that. I work 50 hours at my day job this week and 16 at the Bucks. I really need money though, so it pays off. Oh, and I picked some dude (I didn't even bother to learn his name) from the help desk at work to quit, and it got me ten bucks in the work dead pool. I never win anything like that, except when I won the real people dead pool in 2006 by guessing, unfortunately, that the Twins PA guy would die.
Be on the lookout for the best of 2007 list this weekend(hopefully).
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Last Night A DJ Saved My Life
Big Big Ups to Geoff Hill, who is at a Quietdrive VIP party. Jeff, when you're lost and you look you will find me, time after time...
The Pats went 16-0! That number looks fucking fake, because I have never seen it before. If all the sudden you told me that j**(8 was the next number after 5, I would have to believe you, because 16-0 is so fucking unreal.
So tonight I DJed my first wedding. It was the freaking time of my life. I mean, I'm not saying I am going to do this for a career (it helps when you know the bride and groom) but it was fantastic. And I learned a few things from the evening:
The Pats went 16-0! That number looks fucking fake, because I have never seen it before. If all the sudden you told me that j**(8 was the next number after 5, I would have to believe you, because 16-0 is so fucking unreal.
So tonight I DJed my first wedding. It was the freaking time of my life. I mean, I'm not saying I am going to do this for a career (it helps when you know the bride and groom) but it was fantastic. And I learned a few things from the evening:
- Women LOVE country. I mean, any fucking country music will do. I played "Hey Ya" and it gots no love. But throw on "Forever and Ever Amen" and watch the circle dancing commence.
- The three biggest dance floor fillers of all time are 70s RnB, 80s Hair Metal, and 90s Gangsta Rap. I had one guy yell "Winger" at me for two hours before I could play "Miles Away" and another guy tell me to "play the gangsta shit" before I could bump "Nuttin But A 'G' Thang". Oh, and people go ape shit for MJ and Marvin still to this day.
- Justin Timberlake got 50 people on the dance floor. But so did Prince. Uh-oh.
- Finally, I want my first dance to be "When I Fall In Love With You It Will Be Forever" by Stevie Wonder if I ever get marriaged.
All in all, Josh and Holly had a wonderful reception. The food was top notch(steak with butter? brownie sundae instead of cake? Amazing!) and the drinks were stiff yet overpriced. A group of people did introduce me to the "Purple Rain" which is a Long Island Iced Tea with the Coke replaced with pomegranate liqueur. Excellent.
Oh, and the guy at the Kwik Trip topped my night perfectly when he asked if I just got off of work. I told him, no, I just got back from DJing a wedding. His stoner response was, "Ahhhh, did you get laid?" When I told him no, he just said, "Shiiiiiiiit."
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Say Something Once, Why Say It Again?
Ahhh, the holiday season. The time of year for avoiding family and for wondering who has a perfectly stereotypical "family Christmas." Personally, I hate family Christmas. Mind you, this is not with my immediate family, who I actually like, but with my extended family, who I would rather not see.
Nine times out of ten, I get asked if I'm still in school, how "the job" is going, and if I have a girlfriend. I like to think of it as a trifecta of questions I don't give a fucking shit about answering. Sometimes, just for shits, one of my uncles will throw in the "still drivin' the Ford?" question, which this year I think I am going to answer with, "Actually I'm not. I actually upgraded to the Lambo. But I do drive the Ford on weekdays sometimes, to save gas. Fuck the goddamn Republicans for causing gas prices to rise, and also for the goddamn-baby Jesus-abortion-gun control-war in Iraq." All those hot button buzz words will certainly get me kicked out of the house, at which point I can enjoy playing my little brothers video games until Santa comes the next morning.
Oh yeah, and I almost forgot to mention my other favorite part of Christmas...the awkward conversation between your nearly same aged cousins and yourself. I have at least four cousins who have some serious legal troubles, and you gotta kind of pussyfoot around those bad boys at the dinner table. I mean, you KNOW how they are doing, so you don't have to ask the trifecta, but you are forced to. It would be rude as hell if you were to ask Cousin Jimmy how his stint in County was after that DWI. Plus, with my fam, the cousins are fond of saying random racist shit about blacks and Arabs for some reason, so you kind of have to avoid any topic that may involve one of those groups of people(such as the NBA or Aladdin). I was trapped into a racist rant once by the "still drivin' the Ford?" question, which led to a discussion on gas prices going up, which lead to my cousin Andy saying two different racial slurs about Arabs AND also referring to them as "Iranis." Ah, horrible times...here's wishing y'all a happy Christmas!
Oh, and in honor of the holiday, here's a little light reading about the man who should replace Santa:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Oakley
Talk about badass.
Nine times out of ten, I get asked if I'm still in school, how "the job" is going, and if I have a girlfriend. I like to think of it as a trifecta of questions I don't give a fucking shit about answering. Sometimes, just for shits, one of my uncles will throw in the "still drivin' the Ford?" question, which this year I think I am going to answer with, "Actually I'm not. I actually upgraded to the Lambo. But I do drive the Ford on weekdays sometimes, to save gas. Fuck the goddamn Republicans for causing gas prices to rise, and also for the goddamn-baby Jesus-abortion-gun control-war in Iraq." All those hot button buzz words will certainly get me kicked out of the house, at which point I can enjoy playing my little brothers video games until Santa comes the next morning.
Oh yeah, and I almost forgot to mention my other favorite part of Christmas...the awkward conversation between your nearly same aged cousins and yourself. I have at least four cousins who have some serious legal troubles, and you gotta kind of pussyfoot around those bad boys at the dinner table. I mean, you KNOW how they are doing, so you don't have to ask the trifecta, but you are forced to. It would be rude as hell if you were to ask Cousin Jimmy how his stint in County was after that DWI. Plus, with my fam, the cousins are fond of saying random racist shit about blacks and Arabs for some reason, so you kind of have to avoid any topic that may involve one of those groups of people(such as the NBA or Aladdin). I was trapped into a racist rant once by the "still drivin' the Ford?" question, which led to a discussion on gas prices going up, which lead to my cousin Andy saying two different racial slurs about Arabs AND also referring to them as "Iranis." Ah, horrible times...here's wishing y'all a happy Christmas!
Oh, and in honor of the holiday, here's a little light reading about the man who should replace Santa:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Oakley
Talk about badass.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
She Acts Just Like A Nurse With All The Other Guys
I turned 25 in the ER of North Memorial in Robbinsdale. Happy fucking birthday.
For those who don't know, I woke up at 3:15 on Tuesday with a horrible pain in my head. By horrible, I mean it felt like someone hit me with a book. Plus, my left eye was red and the left side of my head went completely numb. So, logically, I thought I was having some sort of aneurysm or hemorrhage. My mom came and picked me up, and thank God, the worst fears were not realized. This was accomplished by sticking six inch needles in my spine four seperate times and stuffing me into an MRI for 45 minutes.
After all this fun, I got to spend the next three days in the hell that is a hospital.
Turns out, the spinal tap caused spinal fluid to leak into my back and head. What started out as a pain in the head spread from my lower back all the way back up into my head. So basically, I got way fucking worse before I got better. I ate shitty hospital food. I slept, a lot. I got morphine. I watched the Mitchell Report. I puked, a lot. I read a People magazine. I got absolutely no sympathy from one of my bosses, and total sympathy from the other one. Oh, and I didn't shower for 5 days.
The only positives that came out of my experience was that I had a few good looking nurses, and I did some thinking about my life. Overall, the doctors didn't totally figure out what was wrong with me (something about a "cluster headache" coupled with sleep apnea with a liberal dash of stress)and I'm going to be out thousands of dollars due to no insurance for the time being(it kicks in in about two weeks). Hands down, it was the worst week of my life.
Due to how shitty this all was for me, the Vikings better win the fucking Super Bowl...
For those who don't know, I woke up at 3:15 on Tuesday with a horrible pain in my head. By horrible, I mean it felt like someone hit me with a book. Plus, my left eye was red and the left side of my head went completely numb. So, logically, I thought I was having some sort of aneurysm or hemorrhage. My mom came and picked me up, and thank God, the worst fears were not realized. This was accomplished by sticking six inch needles in my spine four seperate times and stuffing me into an MRI for 45 minutes.
After all this fun, I got to spend the next three days in the hell that is a hospital.
Turns out, the spinal tap caused spinal fluid to leak into my back and head. What started out as a pain in the head spread from my lower back all the way back up into my head. So basically, I got way fucking worse before I got better. I ate shitty hospital food. I slept, a lot. I got morphine. I watched the Mitchell Report. I puked, a lot. I read a People magazine. I got absolutely no sympathy from one of my bosses, and total sympathy from the other one. Oh, and I didn't shower for 5 days.
The only positives that came out of my experience was that I had a few good looking nurses, and I did some thinking about my life. Overall, the doctors didn't totally figure out what was wrong with me (something about a "cluster headache" coupled with sleep apnea with a liberal dash of stress)and I'm going to be out thousands of dollars due to no insurance for the time being(it kicks in in about two weeks). Hands down, it was the worst week of my life.
Due to how shitty this all was for me, the Vikings better win the fucking Super Bowl...
Monday, December 10, 2007
It's Bone and Biggie, Biggie
I feel like such an old man. All I have in my wardrobe right now are athletic team shirts and work clothes. I feel like such a tool. A big old, 25 year old tool.
But why pass up sports themed shirts when they are so beautiful? I bought a Kevin Garnett Celtics shirt and a King James Cavs shirt for a total of 30 bucks. Not too bad. Then I bought some soda at Target. At Target, I almost hit two old fake high class broads with my cart. They continued to just stand there, oblivious, talking about hoers d'oeuvres. I have never hated frosted blond hair more than in that moment. I really regret not going off on them.
THE PURP! 7-6! Too bad the freaking Saints feel the need to keep winning. Plus, I am still scarred of the 'Skins. Arizona can eat a bag of Hy-Vee roasted peanuts that Kurt Warner forgot to stock in 1997, and I think the rest of the NFC quit playing meaningful football two weeks ago.
I am kicking myself for not buying the new Ghostface disc Saturday. I mean, I know its gonna be good. I looked at the back of the CD and my heart broke. You CAN judge a CD by its back cover, and this one was a GOAT nominee. It consisted of Ghost in a Jason mask on a throne in a purple robe. So if anyone wants to get their favorite 25 year old Dom DeLouise lookalike a birthday present, make it "Big Doe Rehab."
Oh I almost forgot...I found this on OkayPlayer tonight under some British kids fave rappers..."yeah ive heard rakim and talib kweli - but john cena spits harder and truer than either of them two crusty old faggots."
The Cuts! (MidLife Crisis Version)
MidLife Crisis - Faith No More
Heart- Rockpile
Lost One- Jay-Z
Rebel Rebel - David Bowie
Go To Sleep - Radiohead
But why pass up sports themed shirts when they are so beautiful? I bought a Kevin Garnett Celtics shirt and a King James Cavs shirt for a total of 30 bucks. Not too bad. Then I bought some soda at Target. At Target, I almost hit two old fake high class broads with my cart. They continued to just stand there, oblivious, talking about hoers d'oeuvres. I have never hated frosted blond hair more than in that moment. I really regret not going off on them.
THE PURP! 7-6! Too bad the freaking Saints feel the need to keep winning. Plus, I am still scarred of the 'Skins. Arizona can eat a bag of Hy-Vee roasted peanuts that Kurt Warner forgot to stock in 1997, and I think the rest of the NFC quit playing meaningful football two weeks ago.
I am kicking myself for not buying the new Ghostface disc Saturday. I mean, I know its gonna be good. I looked at the back of the CD and my heart broke. You CAN judge a CD by its back cover, and this one was a GOAT nominee. It consisted of Ghost in a Jason mask on a throne in a purple robe. So if anyone wants to get their favorite 25 year old Dom DeLouise lookalike a birthday present, make it "Big Doe Rehab."
Oh I almost forgot...I found this on OkayPlayer tonight under some British kids fave rappers..."yeah ive heard rakim and talib kweli - but john cena spits harder and truer than either of them two crusty old faggots."
The Cuts! (MidLife Crisis Version)
MidLife Crisis - Faith No More
Heart- Rockpile
Lost One- Jay-Z
Rebel Rebel - David Bowie
Go To Sleep - Radiohead
Monday, December 03, 2007
Tonight I'm Gonna Break Away, Just You Wait And See
Go Vikings! I can't even believe how super amped I am about the Vikes being 6-6. I predicted a 5-11 season, so any wins from this point on are just feel good times, man! This is like dating the cute innocent girl over the freaky skank and then finding out that the cute innocent girl likes all sorts of deviancy that the freaky skank couldn't fathom. Its also a bit like getting a box of records from Grandma (figuring its gonna be a bunch of Glenn Campbell and Chipmunks 45) but then pulling out the first Beatles and Stones albums. Yep, the 2007 Vikings are a lot like the scene in Friday where Craig finds the Cap'n Crunch and goes "Yeeh".
Of course, if the Purp made the Super Bowl, they would be beat by the Pats 94-3. But it may be worth it. This is like my anti-1998, no expectations, no alarms and no surprises.
Also, I really don't care if the Twins trade Santana. Fuck, I love Santana almost as much as Chico loves CARLOS Santana, but if we could get someone like Elsbury or Phillip Hughes to build around. I mean, we have Morneau, Mauer, Delmon Young, Cuddy. That's a pretty bad ass lineup.
The Cuts
"Sunshine Superman" Donovan (Shit, anything by this hippie weirdo)
"Black Mirror" Arcade Fire
"Lookin Out The Front Door" Main Source
"The Girl Is Mine" Michael Jackson/Paul McCartney(Because I'm way lame)
"Speeed King" These Animal Men
"I Want To See The Bright Lights Tonight" Richard/Linda Thompson
Of course, if the Purp made the Super Bowl, they would be beat by the Pats 94-3. But it may be worth it. This is like my anti-1998, no expectations, no alarms and no surprises.
Also, I really don't care if the Twins trade Santana. Fuck, I love Santana almost as much as Chico loves CARLOS Santana, but if we could get someone like Elsbury or Phillip Hughes to build around. I mean, we have Morneau, Mauer, Delmon Young, Cuddy. That's a pretty bad ass lineup.
The Cuts
"Sunshine Superman" Donovan (Shit, anything by this hippie weirdo)
"Black Mirror" Arcade Fire
"Lookin Out The Front Door" Main Source
"The Girl Is Mine" Michael Jackson/Paul McCartney(Because I'm way lame)
"Speeed King" These Animal Men
"I Want To See The Bright Lights Tonight" Richard/Linda Thompson
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
You Always Bang The Whole Gang
Ah, here it is...winter. I fucking hate winter. Winter is like the 1998 NFC Championship Game coupled with the KG Trade with a sprinkling of rough gay sex thrown on top. Meaning I don't really care to experience it. The worst part about this winter is it feels really really hollow. I personally feel like I can't get excited about anything. Thanksgiving was kind of...eh? The food was good, but something felt odd. Even music seems boring right now. Maybe it is the routine of an 8 to 6 job that is sucking my will to live, or maybe its this sore throat that I have had for two weeks. It all kind of reminds me of an Atari Jaguar commercial from back in the day. The commercial showed Jag games followed by a film of two monkeys fucking with the tagline "Atari Jaguar...Nothing Seems Fun Anymore".
Done with that. I want to go see I Am Legend because Will Smith doesn't disappoint. Also, I want to eat McDonalds breakfast tomorrow morning, so I am going to go to bed soon. And I will try to update more. Sorry about the lacklusterness.
Oh, and buy Brian Eno's album "Here Come The Warm Jets"
Done with that. I want to go see I Am Legend because Will Smith doesn't disappoint. Also, I want to eat McDonalds breakfast tomorrow morning, so I am going to go to bed soon. And I will try to update more. Sorry about the lacklusterness.
Oh, and buy Brian Eno's album "Here Come The Warm Jets"
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
1987 NFC Divisional Playoff
I know we suck ass this year, so here's a little old school love. I remember this pretty well for only being five...thing is, the Niners had two of the best QBs OF ALL TIME playing for them, and a pretty average Vikings team still won. Ah, Reggie Rutland. I think he changed his name to Az Hakim or something later on when he converted.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Once, When I Was Little Someone Pointed Out To Me The Constellations But The Big Dipper's All I Could See
Whilst I was driving home from a rousing night of pub trivia this evening, I reminisced. Not because I was downtown MPLS or because I was night driving, but because of what was on my Focus CD player. I had the Built To Spill album "There Is Nothing Wrong With Love" on, and I thought about standing on a street corner in front of a Walgreen's that doesn't exist anymore waiting for a bus.
Then I got to thinking about the song "Start Choppin" by Dinosuar Jr(mainly because it sounds kinda like a Built To Spill song) and how I once drove to school absolutely fucking hung over after an Old Chicago night. Then I went and ate a pita and skipped class.
The point of this story is that I have very trivial memories to songs and music that I absolutely love, or very weird memories to songs I don't give a shit about. I don't remember the first time I ever heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (mainly I remember my Uncle Danny talking about it at my grandparents cabin during the winter of 1992) or Pearl Jam (I think I saw the "Jeremy" video on MTV) but I remember that one time I got it on while "Whats Ya Flava?" by Craig David was playing. Then again, maybe the moment makes the song. Who knows, I may not have as deep a connection with Built To Spill if it wasn't playing while I was experiencing my first semester at the U.
Oh, and Adrian Peterson, your magic is real and I believe in you...
Then I got to thinking about the song "Start Choppin" by Dinosuar Jr(mainly because it sounds kinda like a Built To Spill song) and how I once drove to school absolutely fucking hung over after an Old Chicago night. Then I went and ate a pita and skipped class.
The point of this story is that I have very trivial memories to songs and music that I absolutely love, or very weird memories to songs I don't give a shit about. I don't remember the first time I ever heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (mainly I remember my Uncle Danny talking about it at my grandparents cabin during the winter of 1992) or Pearl Jam (I think I saw the "Jeremy" video on MTV) but I remember that one time I got it on while "Whats Ya Flava?" by Craig David was playing. Then again, maybe the moment makes the song. Who knows, I may not have as deep a connection with Built To Spill if it wasn't playing while I was experiencing my first semester at the U.
Oh, and Adrian Peterson, your magic is real and I believe in you...
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I Saw A Mobile Light Lookin For A Moonbeam
Last night, David Lee Roth was 20 feet from my person. It was the best night of my life. Van Halen fucking KILLED. Afterward, my friend said, "well, this is why kids like music from back in the day. Because it kick ass." Sure, DLR missed a few notes, but for not having preformed the anthems for almost 25 years he was "On Fire." Coincidentally, they played most of Van Halen 1(which is one of the top ten best albums-ever) and even busted out a personal fave("Everybody Wants Some!). Wolfie wasn't even that bad, although seeing the Secret Weapon would have made me spontaneously combust. Now, if only we could get the Beatles and Led Zeppelin to re-unite and come to MPLS...
PS-For a man whos diet from 1976-1987 consisted of Jack Daniels and mountains, literally mountains of cocaine, DLR looked fucking amazing. Along with Eddie. Oh, and I could give a shit about Alex sometimes. But still, I fucking saw Van Halen play with David Lee Roth. I saw "Dance The Night Away..."played 20 feet in front of me. I saw DLR wave big chains during the fight anthem "Unchained." Its like a dream.
PS-For a man whos diet from 1976-1987 consisted of Jack Daniels and mountains, literally mountains of cocaine, DLR looked fucking amazing. Along with Eddie. Oh, and I could give a shit about Alex sometimes. But still, I fucking saw Van Halen play with David Lee Roth. I saw "Dance The Night Away..."played 20 feet in front of me. I saw DLR wave big chains during the fight anthem "Unchained." Its like a dream.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Keep On With The Force Don't Stop
Good Evening, Sports Fans. Earlier this evening, I brought myself into a debate. The question is this: Which is a more kid-centric beverage, Hawaiian Punch or 2% Milk? I said 2%, because it seems(to me) more kiddy. But, on the other hand, I am the only nearly 25 year old man I know who feels the need to drink a quart of Punchy's favorite beverage a week.
25-I'm already middle aged
In other local news, I finally got my turntable working-for one album. Now, instead of the left channel playing, its the right. I feel like I'm listening to KDWB in 1980 because everything is in Mono. Unlike 63 KDWB, I hate the song "You Light Up My Life." Much like old school KDWB, I do enjoy "Sad Eyes" by Robert John and "Sentimental Lady" by Bob Welch.
25-I'm already middle aged
In other local news, I finally got my turntable working-for one album. Now, instead of the left channel playing, its the right. I feel like I'm listening to KDWB in 1980 because everything is in Mono. Unlike 63 KDWB, I hate the song "You Light Up My Life." Much like old school KDWB, I do enjoy "Sad Eyes" by Robert John and "Sentimental Lady" by Bob Welch.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Hey, Here It Comes, That Funny Feeling Again. Windin' Me Up Inside Every Time We Touch
I'm way too tired to deliver any interesting thoughts right now. Looks like my Red Sox pick was almost as good as my Cubs pick. Sadly, most of America doesn't want to watch a Indians-Rockies World Series. Well, I for one do. It's going to be fantastic. Both teams have good pitching, great offenses and the Rockies may be the best defensive team I have ever seen. It's going to be tremenjous, much like Carrie Underwood's bosom.
On a high note, the Angels did indeed score under five runs in their series with the Sox. See, I am Nostradamus.
The Cuts!(November Needs To Spawn A Monster Version)
Hang Me Up To Dry- Cold War Kids
Discovering Japan- Graham Parker
Why Can't This Be Love? - Van Hagar
I'm A Terrible Person - Rooney
That Daughtry song that continuously plays in the warehouse at work (I don't even know any words, just that it is that guy)
On a high note, the Angels did indeed score under five runs in their series with the Sox. See, I am Nostradamus.
The Cuts!(November Needs To Spawn A Monster Version)
Hang Me Up To Dry- Cold War Kids
Discovering Japan- Graham Parker
Why Can't This Be Love? - Van Hagar
I'm A Terrible Person - Rooney
That Daughtry song that continuously plays in the warehouse at work (I don't even know any words, just that it is that guy)
Sunday, October 14, 2007
I'm On Firah!
Yesterday was really kick ass. I thoroughly enjoy this weekend off thing, especially when it involves shopping for records and random shit all day because you have a bit of money. Here were my finds:
Dwight Twilley Band- "Sincerely". One of my favorite sub-genres of music is power pop, and this album is pretty much perfect power pop. They kind of sound like the Raspberries with more of a rhythm section. Too bad the CD costs like 30 bucks online
New Order- "Power, Corruption and Lies". Have this on CD. It will go nicely with my "Blue Monday" 12" from the original pressing.
CDs
Black Keys- "The Big Come Up"
Lifter Puller- "Fiestas and Fiascos" Craig Finn's (Hold Steady) first bands last CD. Really rare.
Tom Petty- "Wildflowers"
Old 97s- "Fight Songs"
Mark Lanegan Band- "Here Comes That Weird Chill"
Black Sheep- "A Sheep In Wolves Clothing"
Other:
A Jim Kleinsasser jersey for 2 bucks
A pair of pants for 6 bucks
All in all, a pretty grand old day. Plus, I went to Mayslacks and had a nice roast beef and a few Seven/Sevens. And Hookers and Blow played. Plus, I found out I'm going to VAN HALEN on the 24th. Good day indeed!
Dwight Twilley Band- "Sincerely". One of my favorite sub-genres of music is power pop, and this album is pretty much perfect power pop. They kind of sound like the Raspberries with more of a rhythm section. Too bad the CD costs like 30 bucks online
New Order- "Power, Corruption and Lies". Have this on CD. It will go nicely with my "Blue Monday" 12" from the original pressing.
CDs
Black Keys- "The Big Come Up"
Lifter Puller- "Fiestas and Fiascos" Craig Finn's (Hold Steady) first bands last CD. Really rare.
Tom Petty- "Wildflowers"
Old 97s- "Fight Songs"
Mark Lanegan Band- "Here Comes That Weird Chill"
Black Sheep- "A Sheep In Wolves Clothing"
Other:
A Jim Kleinsasser jersey for 2 bucks
A pair of pants for 6 bucks
All in all, a pretty grand old day. Plus, I went to Mayslacks and had a nice roast beef and a few Seven/Sevens. And Hookers and Blow played. Plus, I found out I'm going to VAN HALEN on the 24th. Good day indeed!
Monday, October 08, 2007
I'm Takin' What They Givin'
Sorry about that Cubbies pick. I guess as a Minnesotan, I just instinctively root for teams that will break my heart and leave me wanting.
I started my new job today. It was...draining. It sucks going into a job and not knowing much about it at all right off the bat. Plus, the company had to ship out a huge amount of orders today. I felt like I was in everyone's way. But, by the end of the day, I was kind of getting the hang of things(at least I think).
Not much else. I'm digging my new house, except the sink backs up when you run the dishwasher. Oh well, pobody's nerfect (yes, that was a Simpsons reference).
The Cuts(Drunken Sing-A-Long Edition)
Don't Stop Believin'-Journey
Whatever Song Christian Did The Ric Flair Strut To
Heaven Is A Place On Earth-Belinda Carlisle
Hard Luck Woman-KISS
I started my new job today. It was...draining. It sucks going into a job and not knowing much about it at all right off the bat. Plus, the company had to ship out a huge amount of orders today. I felt like I was in everyone's way. But, by the end of the day, I was kind of getting the hang of things(at least I think).
Not much else. I'm digging my new house, except the sink backs up when you run the dishwasher. Oh well, pobody's nerfect (yes, that was a Simpsons reference).
The Cuts(Drunken Sing-A-Long Edition)
Don't Stop Believin'-Journey
Whatever Song Christian Did The Ric Flair Strut To
Heaven Is A Place On Earth-Belinda Carlisle
Hard Luck Woman-KISS
Thursday, October 04, 2007
And Look At Him Go And Look At Him Go...He Could...Go...All...THE...WAY!
Laaacck, Cub, Laaaack. Anyways, I have been really preoccupied with my move from hilljack Methlehem to Ramsey County(New Brighton, to be exact). I also put in 46 hours at the 'Bucks last week. But I'm coming back strong just like LL in '91.
I enjoyed my first evening off in some time that was not dominated by moving by purchasing a Dubby Chubby and a McChicken and watching a shit load of playoff baseball. The Cubs and the Angels looked like shit, and the Phils didn't show much fight. Here are my semi-annual picks for the 2007 postseason:
Rockies over Phillies in 4
The Phillies are who we thought they were! Oh, yeah. A bigger albatross hangs around the Fightin's neck because, unlike the Cubbies, the Phillies are cursed AND it is all because their fans are a bunch of Guido-lite pieces of shit. Plus, the Rockies are riding such a natural high right now that there is no way in hell they lose three of the next four.
Cubs over D-Backs in 5
I like Sweet Lou. Plus, the Backs are a bit young (but super talented). Funny Jake playoff related story: When Eric Byrnes was playing for the A's, I went to a game with Mr.Brandon Quade. We had seats about five rows up in left field, and I said to Brandon, "hey, what if I whipped a penny at Byrnes?" On cue, Byrnsie turned around and looked at me. Then, to top off the creepy vibe, HE DID IT AGAIN! Still, my interaction with the best player on the Backs will not let them take my NL squad.
Indians over Yankees in 4
My grandpa is 72 years old, and I think he's the fourth starter for the Yanks. Unless A-Rod blows up and hits .700 or something, I don't see the geriatric Yankees taking out the studs in the Indians lineup. Plus, Sabathia and Carmona make this a 2-0 series right off the bat.
Red Sox over Angels in 3
The Sox own the Angels. Period. Seeing Papi go yard tonight brought back memories of 2004. Shit, I'd be shocked if the Angels score five total runs in this series. Talk about bad luck-your two best players(not to mention Matthews Jr) suffer from injuries and one of those is PINK EYE? You aren't winning a playoff series.
ALCS
Red Sox over Indians in 6
NLCS
Cubs over Rockies in 7
World Series
Red Sox over Cubs in 5
I really feel this Red Sox team. I don't know why. Maybe its because this is the World Series we got fucked out of in 2003 and were subjected to the Marlins-Yankees snorefest. I don't know. I just really have a gut feeling about this one...
I enjoyed my first evening off in some time that was not dominated by moving by purchasing a Dubby Chubby and a McChicken and watching a shit load of playoff baseball. The Cubs and the Angels looked like shit, and the Phils didn't show much fight. Here are my semi-annual picks for the 2007 postseason:
Rockies over Phillies in 4
The Phillies are who we thought they were! Oh, yeah. A bigger albatross hangs around the Fightin's neck because, unlike the Cubbies, the Phillies are cursed AND it is all because their fans are a bunch of Guido-lite pieces of shit. Plus, the Rockies are riding such a natural high right now that there is no way in hell they lose three of the next four.
Cubs over D-Backs in 5
I like Sweet Lou. Plus, the Backs are a bit young (but super talented). Funny Jake playoff related story: When Eric Byrnes was playing for the A's, I went to a game with Mr.Brandon Quade. We had seats about five rows up in left field, and I said to Brandon, "hey, what if I whipped a penny at Byrnes?" On cue, Byrnsie turned around and looked at me. Then, to top off the creepy vibe, HE DID IT AGAIN! Still, my interaction with the best player on the Backs will not let them take my NL squad.
Indians over Yankees in 4
My grandpa is 72 years old, and I think he's the fourth starter for the Yanks. Unless A-Rod blows up and hits .700 or something, I don't see the geriatric Yankees taking out the studs in the Indians lineup. Plus, Sabathia and Carmona make this a 2-0 series right off the bat.
Red Sox over Angels in 3
The Sox own the Angels. Period. Seeing Papi go yard tonight brought back memories of 2004. Shit, I'd be shocked if the Angels score five total runs in this series. Talk about bad luck-your two best players(not to mention Matthews Jr) suffer from injuries and one of those is PINK EYE? You aren't winning a playoff series.
ALCS
Red Sox over Indians in 6
NLCS
Cubs over Rockies in 7
World Series
Red Sox over Cubs in 5
I really feel this Red Sox team. I don't know why. Maybe its because this is the World Series we got fucked out of in 2003 and were subjected to the Marlins-Yankees snorefest. I don't know. I just really have a gut feeling about this one...
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Stop Tellin' The Rumours, Stop Tellin' The Lies
Wow. Tonight at work, one of my fellow baristas told me that Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong were lovers. I thought that it was one of those rumours that only Starbucks partners like to tell (like that it was a known fact that the first mom on the Fresh Prince got fired for heroin abuse). So I went to my own gay lover (Wikipedia) and checked it out. I guess that Ol' Lance and Wooderson really DID have a gay love affair. Matty said that they tried it and it wasn't for them in an issue of Details magazine last year.
I wonder how many weird things that you thought were never true actually were. Like, for example, my dad told me that the big rumor when he was a kid was that Gomer Pyle and Rock Hudson or Darrin from Bewitched were lovers. Well, I think that they all came out later in life. My favorite rumor as a kid was the one where Zach Morris and Stephanie Tanner died in a car crash together. I guess it wasn't them who died, only their careers.
I wonder how many weird things that you thought were never true actually were. Like, for example, my dad told me that the big rumor when he was a kid was that Gomer Pyle and Rock Hudson or Darrin from Bewitched were lovers. Well, I think that they all came out later in life. My favorite rumor as a kid was the one where Zach Morris and Stephanie Tanner died in a car crash together. I guess it wasn't them who died, only their careers.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
I Was Looking For A Job And Then I Found A Job
As of October 8th, 2007, I will no longer working for Starbucks Coffee Company. I was offered a job with the Wand Corporation in Eden Prairie as an operations coordinator for POS screen installation. I took it, as how it pays much better than the Bucks and I also will have weekends off.
It's been a good run, but its time to pack up the kids and move on.
It's been a good run, but its time to pack up the kids and move on.
Monday, September 17, 2007
It's Cold Gin Time Again
Has there ever been a cooler sports mascot than Mr.Met? Just a dude in a Mets uniform with a ginormous baseball head. And he always looks so happy...every time I see Mr. Met, I get all giddy like I did when I was six and got the complete set of Tiger Force G.I Joes from Grandma Weber.
I went to the monthly record show today where I obtained Kiss "Alive" and Magazine's "The Proper Use Of Soap" on LP and "Boogie Nights" on DVD. Record shows are about the most fun you can have outside of intercourse, and not because of the records. The people watching at record shows is unparalleled. For one, I have never seen a woman outside of the vendors(and that total is maybe two or three). Second, every dude looks kind of like that dude in the Dave Matthews Band video who goes around hugging everybody. And third, everyone acts like they are the absolute be-all and end-all for having kick ass records. Yeah, I'm going to give you three bucks for Hall and Oates "Rock and Soul".
The best part is the conversations that you are bound to overhear. The conversations usually consists of grease balls talking about their favorite obscure 60s garage bassist or how cool a UK pressing of some bizarre Frank Zappa album is. Sometimes, the conversation is about other vendors. I heard one about some vendor named Tom today. From my one minute of eavesdropping, I learned that Tom:
I went to the monthly record show today where I obtained Kiss "Alive" and Magazine's "The Proper Use Of Soap" on LP and "Boogie Nights" on DVD. Record shows are about the most fun you can have outside of intercourse, and not because of the records. The people watching at record shows is unparalleled. For one, I have never seen a woman outside of the vendors(and that total is maybe two or three). Second, every dude looks kind of like that dude in the Dave Matthews Band video who goes around hugging everybody. And third, everyone acts like they are the absolute be-all and end-all for having kick ass records. Yeah, I'm going to give you three bucks for Hall and Oates "Rock and Soul".
The best part is the conversations that you are bound to overhear. The conversations usually consists of grease balls talking about their favorite obscure 60s garage bassist or how cool a UK pressing of some bizarre Frank Zappa album is. Sometimes, the conversation is about other vendors. I heard one about some vendor named Tom today. From my one minute of eavesdropping, I learned that Tom:
- Was fucking cheap
- Had been collecting since 1960
- Does not let other vendors in on his vast knowledge of Elvis, even when asked
Therefore, I will never buy Elvis records from a guy named Tom. Oh, and I'm pissed at myself for not picking up "Sandanista!" by The Clash for five bucks.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Well, It's You And Me In The Summertime, Holding Hands Down In The Park
Today was a boring day off. I cleaned my apartment, read "Killing Yourself To Live" for the 3rd time, went to work for 45 minutes to do some coffee seminar prep, and I ate Hardees. Pretty sure that Hardees was the highlight. Has anything come from so far down as Hardees to be the best in its field? You all remember going to Hardees, ordering something like the fried chicken, and being ignored or spit on or sworn at. It's nothing like that now, nothing like that at all. It's like the period between 1990 and 2005 didn't happen. Hardees comeback is like if the Arizona Cardinals were to win the next five Super Bowls or if Britney Spears released her next album, and somehow, it was better than anything the Beatles had ever done.
I mean, Hardees fucking kills it EVERY TIME! You go for breakfast, you get some of the best biscuits and gravy known to man. When the B'n'G is killer, you really don't need much else. But then you eat some of the burgers (the mushroom and Swiss is amazing) and you realize that you're actually getting a better meal then you would at any sitdown out there. Throw some seriously bad ass fries and you really can't eat better for under 5 bucks.
The Cuts! (MonsterBurger Edition)
"I Feel Like A Bullet In The Gun Of Robert Ford"- Sir Elton
"Summertime"-The Sundays
"Kate"-Ben Folds Five
"Looking For Today"-Black Sabbath
"Running Up That Hill"-Kate Bush
I mean, Hardees fucking kills it EVERY TIME! You go for breakfast, you get some of the best biscuits and gravy known to man. When the B'n'G is killer, you really don't need much else. But then you eat some of the burgers (the mushroom and Swiss is amazing) and you realize that you're actually getting a better meal then you would at any sitdown out there. Throw some seriously bad ass fries and you really can't eat better for under 5 bucks.
The Cuts! (MonsterBurger Edition)
"I Feel Like A Bullet In The Gun Of Robert Ford"- Sir Elton
"Summertime"-The Sundays
"Kate"-Ben Folds Five
"Looking For Today"-Black Sabbath
"Running Up That Hill"-Kate Bush
Sunday, September 09, 2007
It's Britney, Bitch
Today was a good day. Got to see the Purp beat the shit out of ATL(formerly Team Bad Newz Kennels) 24-3. THE DEFENSE WENT OFF!! It was also very nice to heckle Joey Harrington, along with everyone in my section. Oh, and Adrian Peterson is a friggin stud.
MTV VMAs were also tonight. Didn't watch the whole thing(its not 1995 anymore and "Peaches" by the Presidents of the United States of America wasn't nominated for the Video Vanguard award) but I saw the Britney Spears performance. Here's my thoughts:
Chick straight up sucks at singing AND dancing now. She's entered that rareified air of "women that I legitimately think I could fuck if they and I were drunk enough." I mean, she has baggage, she kind of looks like the REAL slutty sorority sister who the others make fun of, and her special place looks like steak tartare. If I saw her at, say, TGI Friday's on Electric Lemonade night and maybe bought her some motzies...there's a good chance I'm taking her back to Springbrook for 45 seconds of pleasure.
Also, Jamie Foxx was drunk and Kid Rock decked King Of All Brahs Tommy Lee. I think this was like when my uncle punched my aunt at Thanksgiving. I was kind of shocked due to the setting, but we all saw it coming. Oh, and Sarah Silverman is funny and hot. Too bad none of the Hollywood Freaks could laugh at her comedy.
Final note: during the Cowboys-Giants game tonight, Jared Lorenzen came in at QB. I loved it! A 300-lb quaterback! It was like watching the Big Boy statue take snaps. Boy has a cannon for an arm.
MTV VMAs were also tonight. Didn't watch the whole thing(its not 1995 anymore and "Peaches" by the Presidents of the United States of America wasn't nominated for the Video Vanguard award) but I saw the Britney Spears performance. Here's my thoughts:
Chick straight up sucks at singing AND dancing now. She's entered that rareified air of "women that I legitimately think I could fuck if they and I were drunk enough." I mean, she has baggage, she kind of looks like the REAL slutty sorority sister who the others make fun of, and her special place looks like steak tartare. If I saw her at, say, TGI Friday's on Electric Lemonade night and maybe bought her some motzies...there's a good chance I'm taking her back to Springbrook for 45 seconds of pleasure.
Also, Jamie Foxx was drunk and Kid Rock decked King Of All Brahs Tommy Lee. I think this was like when my uncle punched my aunt at Thanksgiving. I was kind of shocked due to the setting, but we all saw it coming. Oh, and Sarah Silverman is funny and hot. Too bad none of the Hollywood Freaks could laugh at her comedy.
Final note: during the Cowboys-Giants game tonight, Jared Lorenzen came in at QB. I loved it! A 300-lb quaterback! It was like watching the Big Boy statue take snaps. Boy has a cannon for an arm.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
True Romance In Joy Opposites
Why did McDonalds pick the Cha Cha Slide for a commercial promoting their Happy Meals? And, it's a minute long! Couldn't they have picked something a little more current-like "This Is Why I'm Hot?"
Sign #1000 that I feel old-I have never heard the #1 song on the Billboard charts. Its some song called "Crank That(Soulja Boy)" by a guy named Soulja Boy. There sure is a lot of Souljas, Lils and Shawtys on radio today. I think I am going to totally give up on radio. I mean, I haven't been a regular listener for years, but except for KOOL 108, they're all done, son.
I'm moving to a townhouse off of County Road E and Silver Lake Road at the end of the month. The word finally came down today, so its all over for Springbrook. Thank god. I hate having no air and ending up being covered in sweat at night. Its really icky, like evolution.
Oh, and I'm re-reading "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain. I found it at my parents while doing laundry, and I am sodamnexcited to be hearing tales of the seedy underworld of cooking again. The only pain in the ass is that reading the book makes me hungry, real hungry.
Anyone know of a place that serves some kickass waffle fries? I enjoy Granite City and Champps, but there's got to be some place out there that out does those two. Oh, and seasoned sour cream is a necessity.
To Peter- Have you purchased any "import" CDs yet? Also, have you eaten any of those crazy egg pizza things that they fry in front of you and cover in mayo? Those look delicious!
Sign #1000 that I feel old-I have never heard the #1 song on the Billboard charts. Its some song called "Crank That(Soulja Boy)" by a guy named Soulja Boy. There sure is a lot of Souljas, Lils and Shawtys on radio today. I think I am going to totally give up on radio. I mean, I haven't been a regular listener for years, but except for KOOL 108, they're all done, son.
I'm moving to a townhouse off of County Road E and Silver Lake Road at the end of the month. The word finally came down today, so its all over for Springbrook. Thank god. I hate having no air and ending up being covered in sweat at night. Its really icky, like evolution.
Oh, and I'm re-reading "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain. I found it at my parents while doing laundry, and I am sodamnexcited to be hearing tales of the seedy underworld of cooking again. The only pain in the ass is that reading the book makes me hungry, real hungry.
Anyone know of a place that serves some kickass waffle fries? I enjoy Granite City and Champps, but there's got to be some place out there that out does those two. Oh, and seasoned sour cream is a necessity.
To Peter- Have you purchased any "import" CDs yet? Also, have you eaten any of those crazy egg pizza things that they fry in front of you and cover in mayo? Those look delicious!
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