Saturday, July 30, 2005

Da Da Da Duh...The Reflex, Flex, Flex Flex Flex

The Kings of Leon are the hick rock dandy kings. The concert last night put hair in places I have never seen, if you know what I mean. Never before have I seen three men strut onstage in womens clothing and sing songs about impotence and gang rumbles with so much abandon. And the girls understood. There was a strange mix of preps, old rockers, new New Wave chicks and scuzzballs in Dikembe Mutombo jerseys. Every song was sung along with like it was some sort of Dashboard Confessional show crossed with a tent revival, which, given the Kings Baptist roots, seems apt. Highlights included the band shaking their asses as they played towards the drummer, and the lead singer getting so excited at the end of "Tranni" that he had to toss the mic stand at the ground. And everyone was smoking cigs on the stage, which seemed eternally cool for some reason. Sure, they didn't sing "Day Old Blues" (as like three dudes behind me cried out for) but they did play every other song off their two albums.

The openers, The Shout Out Louds, were no slouches themselves. I kept thinking, as they ripped through their set, "Shit, these guys (and girl) are going to be fucking huge." They sounded even better live then on their excellent CD "Howl Howl Gaff Gaff." A Swedish Cars or Weezer would sum them up, but their lyrics were more emo than either band. The enterance was met with indifference, but the crowd booed the lead singer when he said it would be the end of their set. Even cooler was the fact that the band went into the crowd to watch the other bands and even played pool. Jeff Hill said that he saw the lead singer checking out some hottie while she was bent over. And we think we smelled the bassist by the merch booth, and he smelled pretty bad. Who can blame him, he was rocking out in a full suit.

The Secret Machines sounded like a primordial Pink Floyd. They were good, good enough to make me buy their EP, but eight minute long jams are not usually my bag at concerts. Still, their cover of Dylan's "Girl From The North Country" made me nearly cry, it was so beautiful. The drummer was amazing, and he looked like a stoned caveman. He never once looked up from his kit, he was so into beating the shit out.
(I listened to the EP today, and the songs play much better on disc than live. Still, not as much drum. Which isn't a good thing)

Monday, July 25, 2005

Your Little Hood Rat Friend

I played mad tennis today, and I lost to Quade and Nick pretty bad. I kept blowing huge leads, and it sucked. But I did win a few games from Nick, and after one I posed like Shawn Michaels over my racket. It was fucking hot.

I bought five new CDs this weekend, and I am feeling them all. The best of the bunch is by this group called The Hold Steady. The lead singer was from Minneapolis, and he wrote a bunch of confessional songs about doing drugs in Osseo and how no one hangs out at City Center. It sounds kind of like a punk rock Bruce Springsteen. Also enjoying the Jamie Lidell, the Shout Out Louds and the Belle and Sebastian CD. I heard about all but the Belle and Sebastian from Jeff and Christian, so it looks like I have lost my title as the go to guy for new music. And I also feel the shit out of the new Gwen Stefani song "Cool." I love 80s sounding shit.

Oh, and I also got tickets to the Kings Of Leon concert on Thursday. It is going to be the shit, for sure. I bet the Kings kick ass so hard live, those coked-out ponces. I swear, confidence or extreme sadness make the best music. No in between. Either you are a suicidal nutjob like Nick Drake or Morrissey, or you swagger like you got the biggest cock like Mick and Keith or Liam and Noel. Guys who lead normal lives make albums like Ben Folds. Granted, I love Ben Folds more than most other stuff, but he doesn't make the most exciting music out there. His best songs were when he was sad and bored on "Whatever and Ever Amen." Also, the Stones have sucked since they kicked the drugs and whores. Complacency leads to shit.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Jennine, I Can Be Him

I bought Fall Out Boys pussy-punk opus "From Under The Cork Tree" today. The re-virginization of Jacob Donald Eickholt is now complete. I have been listening to a bootyload of pop punk lately, and its 2001 all over again. Lame, but brilliant. And another waitress laughed at me at Broadway today. Quade felt the need to yell, "You don't have a real job," and then the chick laughed. Hahahahaha LOL.

Then Best Buy provided me with plentiful hot chicks. It doesn't matter where, the workers, the customers, whatever. There is hot ladies aplenty at the Maple Grove Best Buy. Every time I walk in I am greeted by a hot security guard. Its much better than the guy everyone called "Stoolio" at the Brooklyn Center because he was too lazy to stand up. One time he told Jeff Hill that "Everyone and they moms was buying Training Day." God, that Best Buy was lame. Oh well, it kicked the BC Circuit Citys ass. They had more CDs and they were cheaper, but it was like a ghost town up there.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Wise Man Has The Power To Reason Away

Wedding Crashers is the funniest movie I have seen in a long time. I swear, Vince Vaughn is giving Ferrell a run for his money as the man who makes me laugh the most. "The girl in the hat just eye fucked the shit out of me" is just so damn out there.

I have been bumping mad 70s tunes for the last few days. All the heavyweights. Billy, Elton, Sir Paul, Rod. They all get equal play. The best 70s song that I have uncovered recently is "Couldn't I Just Tell You?" by Todd Rundgren. God, this song is amazing. And to think, the bastard went on to write bullshit like "Bang on the Drum All Day." Truly a wasted talent.

Oh, and Bush is even more of a puppet whore than I previously thought. Now, he won't fire his daddy Karl Rove because he didn't officially commit a crime. What the hell is this? And John Kerry is a flip-flopper? Stick to your guns, Mr. Mission Accomplished. I fucking hate that shit eating son of a bitch more than anyone. Just turning over the fold on the Star Tribune today made me want to puke. I can't wait to see who he nominates to the Supreme Court tonight. Probably another religious right puppet, like himself. The only way I can hold back the tears is to tell myself, three more years. That, and bump some more "What A Fool Believes" or some T.Rex.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Stay All Day, If You Want To

I heard "Gouge Away" by the Pixies twice in a row today on 89.3 The Current. I got pumped both times to the point that my fellow motorists were watching me.

Fantastic Four is suprisingly good. I went into it pretty worried that it would suck like The Hulk, which I defended because I went to the midnight showing and paid $8. But the movie had a nice sense of humor, even though some parts were really slow.

I was bored the other day, and I came to the conclusion that Bo Jackson was my favorite athlete of all time, at his peak. Had he stuck to one sport, we would be talking about the greatest running back or greatest center fielder of all time. I went to a Twins game in 1990 and I actually wrote in my scorecard that Bo was a showboat. He was catching the ball behind his back and between his legs while warming up and I was in awe that someone could do that without any effort, and it kind of made me mad. Oh, and that Score card/poster with him in the shoulder pads/bat was the pimpest shit at back in the day.

Other random sports thoughts:
My favorite baseball player of all time is Ken Griffey Jr. I have loved Griffey since 1991, and sometimes my Mariners obsession got out of hand in the mid-1990s. It's still nice to see him hit one out, even with all the other injures. Easily the best player I have ever seen live, and I watched Puckett, Molitor and others for years. In 1997, I saw him hit one out at the Dome, with about 3,000 other people.

Favortie basketball player of all time: Jordan. Need I say more? I fucking loved everything that MJ did when I was a kid. I also was a huge Grant Hill fan, but I remember having Jordan posters on my wall when I was 6 0r 7. I watched every minute of every Finals game the Bulls ever played, and I can tell you where I was when he scored 35 in the first half against the Blazers in 1992 (my Aunt Jenny's house eating bar-b-que) and when he scored 63 against the Celtics in 1986 (the Holiday Inn in Brooklyn Center). The Babe Ruth of basketball. The 1993 Finals were tough to watch, as I loved the Suns with Sir Charles and the Bulls. I rooted for the Suns, but when Paxon hit that three, I didn't exactly cry.

Muhammad Ali is the most important athlete ever. Hands down. He held the title off and on from 1964 to 1978, which is forever in boxing. He also stood up for what he believed to the point that prison was an option. That takes some cojones, to give up your career because you "ain't got no quarrel with the Vietcong." He also was such a bad motherfucker there was a top 40 song about him being a black superman, and he felt the need to tell the announcers (after he won his first title) that he was a bad man and so pretty. He talked jive like a pimp, fought with his hands at his sides, and advanced black rights by being the best and loudest. Thats some cool shit.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Is There Life Out There?

I went to my uncles wedding reception last night, and it confirmed my stance on marriage for the time being. If you want to do it, good for you, but it ain't my bag. I just saw all the people there who didn't look happy, and it outweighed the ones who did. Weird atmosphere. But they had a free keg for a couple of hours, so that was fun.

What was also weird was the fact that I actually had a conversation with my grandfather. My grandpa and I have some major differences both politically and religiously. He also likes to collect weaponry, something for which I really don't care about. So I would put our relationship at about a 2 or 3 on the 1-10 scale. Anyways, we talked mainly about my future, which was expected. But the surprise came when I told him about where I wanted to move after graduation. I said Chicago was on a short list, and he encouraged my idea. The man shoots down quite a bit of what I say, and to hear that was a nice change. Also, I realized that someone who worked for a multinational company for 25 years probably knows a thing or two about good places to live. I have probably been to 1% of where he has been (Communist Russia, all of Europe, Japan, etc.) . But he has only lived in North Minneapolis his entire life, within a 10 block radius pretty much, and is also very family oriented. It was just interesting to hear someone give me feedback on this idea. I do not want to live here my whole life. Granted, I have quite a bit of state pride, but I want to see what else is out there.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Let Me Hold You, Come Caress My Body, You Got Me Going Crazy,You Turn Me Up, Turn Me On

Thank you, Kevin Little, for proving that one hit wonders (or oneders) do still exist.

Man, I fucking hate golfers. I live off the 13 or 14th tee of Edinburgh, so every day from March to November I see dudes in khaki slacks and some sort of Lauren couture teeing off when I go to work. They expect me to stop so they can drive their little fucking carts instead of walking across a pretty busy parkway. I decided to get a little revenge. Every day that someone is golfing by my house and I pass, I lay on the horn. I mean, this isn't a love tap, it's a full on honk. Sometimes I yell "fuckers" really loud, also. That's what they get for being lazy and wearing khaki way too friggin tight for their fat asses. The best is when they dress like Payne Stewart, with the tam-o-shanter and the knickers. That makes them even look gayer.

Boone debut tonight for the Twinks. I don't know about them catching The Sux, but a wild card looks pretty good right about now. Then they can work those fags in the ALCS.

Songs of the day:
-"Billy Jack Bitch" Prince
-"Mercy Mercy Me" Marvin Gaye
-"Tears Of A Clown" Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
-That lame ass Antigone Rising song I hear every day at work that goes "She's not, She's not Innocent" (Cause I hear it all the time and it blows)
Also, Starbucks is selling a Sly Stone remix CD with Big Boi, Maroon 5, D'Angelo and a whole bunch of other decent artists on it. I may have to check it out, if it kicks ass like the Motown one.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Feelin Allright, Uh-Huh

Feelin better, still have a sore throat though. Listened to a lot of tunes and watched the All Star festivities. Also dug out my tape of the 1996 All Star game. It had a bunch of playoff highlights on it, and a news report from KARE 11 where someone threw a paint gernade over the balcony at Champlin Park! There was an interview with Mr Bohthius and everything. Pretty weird.

Gonna try to play softball tonight, and get the Gamers an elusive win. So elusive.

Heres a few of the current listens
-World Leader Pretend-Punches (Fantastic. Sounds like Radiohead/REM. Thanks Quade)
-Morrissey- Your Arsenal
-Fountains of Wayne- Out Of State Plates
-Stephen Malkmus- Self Titled
-All American Rejects- Move Along (Yeah, I know its pop punk bullshit. I dont care)
-Sonic Youth-Daydream Nation

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Come On, Come On

I have the bronchitis or some kind of infection, and I have been sleeping way too much. Here is the laundry list of my sick dream I had last night.

-Transvestite hooker forcing herself on me at gunpoint
-Anthony Anderson shooting said hooker five times (and her not dying)
-Christian, Jeff and myself going to the Glastonbury Festival
-Me watching Rilo Kiley and Jenny Lewis singing directly to me
-Me preforming with Ben Folds and William Shatner on a "40s duet"
-Christian losing my wallet forcing me to stay in England longer than anyone else

I think that there was more, but thats all I can remember. What the hell?

Monday, July 11, 2005

Jakies Back, Tell A Friend

The trip to Milwaukee was epic. So much fun was had that I don't think that it can be expressed in words. The first night was the night of the show. We took the city bus to Summerfest after having a few of Milwaukees finest and arrived at a combo of the State Fair, the Taste of Minnesota and a beer fest. We stopped at a Shakey's pizza stand then headed into the concert.

The Pixies made me cry. It was the most amazing show that I have ever seen, and the whole band looked so excited to be playing together again. The only downside was that some guy felt the need to start shit with me. I was jumping around, singing, and I guess I threw an elbow at his girlfriend (inadvertently). He bumped into me, and I said sorry. To which he replied, "Fuck you motherfucker. I paid for this seat. You made my girlfriend leave, motherfucker." Jeff gave him an "I want to kill you" look and he sat down for the rest of the show. Then, his girlfriend came back and HE yelled at HER. So, it worked out. Yet, the fucker ruined "Monkey Gone To Heaven" and "Where Is My Mind" for me.

Weezer delivered another odd show. Rivers Cuomo has the worst stage presence of any lead singer I have ever seen. He stands motionless and unenthused throughout the show. Except for when I saw them at Roy Willkins, where he was a cock rock god for one night. Nevertheless, the band still delivered. They played most of their new album, and it sounded fantastic. "We Are All On Drugs" had this really cool background that swirlled around. And they played a totally different version of "Buddy Holly" with a Moog. And Rivers even started to get into the show towards the end and thanked the audience profusely at the end. Too bad they didn't play more from Pinkerton. Probably the best concert I have ever attended.

At the end of the night, we heard Death Cab For Cutie play a few songs. We couldn't see them because there were 5,000 people in front of us, but "The Sound Of Settling" sounded damn good.

The second day we just went back to hang out and maybe watch Whitesnake. The lineup was really weak, with Alter Bridge, Issac Hayes and Cowboy Mouth being the free shows. So we just drank and walked around. The bus ride home was nuts. Milwaukee County buses have TVs in them, and they have these "Who am I?" guessing games to play. Cody sat in the back and was playing the game with the entire bus, and leading them in a chant of "Teddy Teddy" when Roosevelt came on. Great day. Earlier, we went to the dirtiest beach on Lake Michigan and ate Popeyes from the most ghetto Popeyes ever.

And we toured the Miller Brewery. It was really cool seeing how the beer gets shipped and packaged. And it was really cool drinking free beer samples. The Miller Cafe had the best burgers and the worst waitress ever, and a sign that said "The Only Bud We Serve Here is Selig." Gay.

Then we went up to Millas cabin, which was fun as all hell. We partied until seven in the morining, and Millas crazy neighbor took us for a random pontoon ride at 3:30 in the morning. Overall, one of the best weeks of my life, hands down.