Monday, January 29, 2007

Do The Mario

Wow...Just Wow! There's so much awesome shit going on here.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Fur Peter Q.

I found "Songs of Leonard Cohen" at Half Price Books Northtown for two bucks yesterday. I enjoy it much more than "Songs of Love And Hate", which is the shit, but scares me to the core (especially "Diamonds In The Mine").

Best Of 2006 (Better Late Than Never Version)

I know this is about a month late, but hey, I beat both "Chinese Democracy" and "Detox." Here are my picks for best albums and songs of 2006.

Ghostface Killah- Fishscale
To start out, I was really leery of this disc. I didn't pick it up until December, and it had been out since April or May. I was leery because of all the cocaine talk. I wanted to hear Ghostface go off on rants about nonsense like coffee shops. I got past the coke talk, and vibed with Spongebob ridin the Bentley coupe at the bottom of the ocean.

Bob Dylan- Modern Times
Old man still has it. And now he gets all lecherous when talking about wanting Alicia Keys. But he also gets teary talkin about Nettie Moore. Rockin and breakin levees like Hurricaine Chuck Berry.

Panacea- Ink Is My Drink
I was really burnt out on hip-hop for a while in the fall. I kept seeing Chamillionaire and Lil' Jon talk nonsense on MTV hits. Then Panacea came out of left field sampling "Kung Fu Fighting" and lamenting over lost loves. The perfect chill out album.

My Chemical Romance- Welcome To The Black Parade
I'm going to get shit on for this one. Fuck off. I hate My Chemical Romance's image, and their lead singer looks like a bitchy little tool. But Welcome To The Black Parade roqqqqqs like Godzilla playing guitar with Mick Ronson. There's some balladry on there too. A nice suprise from a band I wasn't expecting shit from.

John Legend- Once Again
It's really nice to hear someone put out an R&B record that doesn't feature Chamillionaire, Rick Ross or one of the dudes from Three Six Mafia. The second album blues didn't strike Mr. Legend at all. Actually, Once Again is better than Get Lifted. If this came out in 1975, John Legend would have been on the cover of Time. But we'll have to settle for old school jams like "Save Room" and "Each Day Gets Better." I'm fine with that.

Lupe Fiasco-Food& Liquor
Another sign hip hop is really dead. A dorky MC can have his album produced by Kanye and the Neptunes and have his songs hyped by Jay-Z, yet still not cross over totally. "American Terrorist" makes you think, and "Daydreamin" tells you that your princess is in another castle. Also the best CD booklet/liner notes of the year, hands down.

The Killers-Sam's Town
Brandon Flowers is a twat. But he also burns down the highway skyline on the back of a hurricaine. That is good enough for me. I liked the first one, but Sam's Town is so majestic that I can't even listen to "Hot Fuss" objectively anymore. I'll feel your Bones, as long as you keep the trumpets blaring.

Arctic Monkeys- Whatever People Say I Am, I'm Not
Perfect blasts of dirty pop. It speaks to me, mainly because I've tried to get cabs and failed before. And I also hate fake ass scensters.

Dirty Pretty Things- Waterloo To Anywhere
So it was Carl Barat who was the brains behind the Libertines! Fuck Pete Horse Doehrty, this is the real deal. The dirty prettiness can be summed up with the line "I put gin in my milk to kill all the germs."

Pearl Jam- S/T
Thanks guys.

The Roots-Game Theory
It sucks that Jay-Z lied. He doesn't care about the Roots like Hewhowillnotbenamed doesn't care about black people. That still doesn't make "It Don't Feel Right" and "Baby" kick any less ass.

Red Hot Chili Peppers- Stadium Arcadium
Yeah, bitch about the two disc length. I'm amazed that they managed to put out two discs and only one clunker in the whole bunch (Hump de Bump makes me wanna kill). Pretty much everything I've ever liked about late period Peppers on two discs. John brings the soaring melody, Anthony brings the white boy funk, Flea brings the cock, and Chad brings the Ferrell.

Muse-Black Holes and Revelations
Epic, in a good way. Tender (on Starlight) and funky (on Supermassive Black Hole). Fuck the new Radiohead tag, these guys are the shit. They take what they want and make it their own.

TV On The Radio- Return to Cookie Mountain
This is a disc that one must experience aurally. Words can't really explain what this sounds like, other than fucking awesome. No way to categorize some straight up unique rock.

The Hold Steady- Boys and Girls in America
Runners up last year, the Hold Steady saw my blog and were like, "Damn Jake! We'll put out a better album in 2006." And they did. Colored by local MPLS locale, characters that walk around and drink and bet the horses instead of compulsively fucking, and a sense of youth. The bar band instrumentation makes the songs seem that much more anthemic. And Craig Finn fucking shadowboxed at First Ave because he knew he was the heavyweight champ. You were right man, Northtown is bullshit. I still need to experience a Southtown girl for my damn self, though.

Songs Of The Year
Crazy-Gnarls Barkley
I don't think I can say anything that hasn't been said about this one. Oh wait! How in the fuck did this stall at #2 behind "Ridin'"?

Lazy Eye-Silversun Pickups
The best Smashing Pumpkins song never recorded by Corgan, Iha, et al.

Bad Day- Daniel Powter
Dude, you knew you'd be a one hit wonder from the get go. Way not to promote your shit. Way to have me singing it every time it comes on. Way to make me happy in Vegas everywhere I went with your Elton-lite.

Alien Ant Farm- San Sebastian
I love AAF. I always will. This song, in four minutes, confrims why. Soaring chorus, competent guitar riff, personal deep lyrics. Yes, I'll say it. AAF are underrated songwriters.

Teenagers-My Chemical Romance
You guys totally ripped off Bowie. Fuck, Bowie wishes he wrote this song in 1972, so he could play it for Mick and Angie and then have a threeway involving lotsa coke.

Wolf Like Me-TV On The Radio
Ever see that SNL skit where they put on deodorant and rip deer to shreds with their teeth? Yeah, thats the way that Wolf Like Me makes me feel.

Beck-Strange Apparition
Boogie from the king of white boy boogie. Ebbs and falls perfectly.

Pearl Jam-Unemployable
Isn't everybody "Scared of life." Shit, sums up 2006 up until November, when I cried tears of joy when we actually won and made Fox News look retarded.

Steady As She Goes- The Raconteurs
Pretty woman out walkin with gorillas down my street. Who cares if they ripped off Joe Jackson? At least they ripped off one of the greatest pop songs ever.

I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor- Arctic Monkeys
Don't Don't Don't Believe the Hype (Whooyeah). Still, on its own merits, a fucking perfect blast of energy that carries on the literate ways of The Jam and The Kinks.

Cheated Hearts-Yeah Yeah Yeahs
I didn't think I'd ever fall in love with another woman lead singer. I was wrong. This song encapsules pretty much everything that was awesome about 80s music.

Jackson-The Brakes
Drunk punk covers of Johnny Cash songs are always an interesting idea. Jacksons the second best (and I think only other) cover by a punk band of a Johnny Cash song. Social D will always hold the crown, but this ones pretty kick ass.

He's BAAAAACK! Straight out of '81, a crazy mofo named TAFKAP. Morris really should have sang this one, though. And the lyrics are mature. I kinda like the JoHov Prince.

Shot Down- Nine Black Alps

You're Beautiful- James Blunt
I don't know why, but this moves me in a good way. I played the shit out of this song like I was an obese 40 year old Oprah fan. I still can't figure out why. Mabye its the video, where Mr. Blunt either a) kills himself by jumping off a bridge or b) purifues himself in the waters of River Thames. Brilliant.

What It Is!- Rhino
Going in, I knew of maybe 10% of the artists on this box of deep funk and soul from the 60s and 70s. Lets just say my eyes were opened. Crazy crazy good.

Friday, January 05, 2007

You F#$% Like A Volcano

It has taken 24 years, but I finally discovered one of my biggest character flaws. I fall in love with women who really don't exist in the real world. I blame Liz Phair for this.

I walked by the TV today and good ol' Liz was on VH1 Classic singing "Never Said." The only thing that I could think of when I saw her was "Goddamn, Liz Phair is fucking sexy." I've been sexually attracted to Liz Phair since at least 1995, when I saw the "Supernova" video as a Buzz Clip. The thing is, I'm attracted to the IDEA of Liz Phair. I don't know her personally, and I've only read a handful of interviews with her. I'm attracted to the sexy guitar player who sings about fucking and or running and her man going like a volcano. I can't attain this due to the fact that I love an ideal. Kind of like women who want to marry John Cusack.

But Liz Phair is goddamn sexy.

On a totally unrelated note, Jimi Hendrix really looks like he's getting off on the cover of "Electric Ladyland." Unintentionally, I think that this makes that cover filthier than the British one with all the 60s pancake boobies on it.