Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Mabye I'M Crazy (aka A Treatise On The Death Of The CD)

The death of the Compact Disc is closer than you would ever think. Most say that the CD will die within the next ten years, but after my experience tonight, I give it three years. Tops.

It all started last evening, when I started up iTunes and saw that the new Gnarls Barkley album "The Odd Couple" was for sale. I had read that it leaked, so I figured that it was releasing today. I was wrong. The music was only available via download, not in conventional CD form. I went to Target and they had none in stock. If Target can carry niche CDs by Vampire Weekend and MIA, I figured that they would have Gnarls (who went platinum last time out). Nope.

Turns out that the CD will be for sale as soon as it hits retail, that it went on iTunes due to the leak. I don't believe it at all. This was a test to see what kind of demand music will have when there is no physical product available. I know for a fact that Target, Wal-Mart, Best Buy, et al get media in about six weeks average before its release date. Most would have had the CD in stock. My theory is that Downtown Records told retail to sit on the CD for a week to see how well it would sell without the product being in stores. Think about how much the label could make by not having to ship anything, let alone produce artwork and casing. One gold selling CD could make a label a couple million dollars only being available in digital form. Obviously it is a good business model, but I feel cheated buying air and not having a physical product.

It all reminds me of when my dad went to buy an LP at Title Wave around 1988 or 89. The clerk told him he could order it for him for an extra $5, or he could just buy the cassette or CD which they had in stock. I remember how sad he was that vinyl was dead and how much he complained about cassettes and their inferior quality. That is the same way I feel about digital over CDs(or vinyl for that matter). It's the end of an era, and there's no turning back.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Voulez Vous Couchet Avec Moi, C'est Soi?

Goddamn, that chick that the Gov of New York paid money to bang is really, really hot. So hot that if I were a politician (or an installation coordinator) I would pay an exuberant amount of money to have sex with. I mean, really, she's right in the Jake Eickholt alleyway. Kinda Jew-y, brunette, and with just the right amount of Thicke. Oh "Kristen", I'm lost without you, can't help myself.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Closing Time, You Don't Have To Go Home But You Can't...Stay...Here

Whilst at the gym tonight, sexy Julie Nelson told me in High-Def that the Legislature is trying to pass a bill allowing bars to be open an extra two hours during the month of the RNC in Saint Paul. I wasn't sure she said MPLS too (because I was too busy thinking about how I need to get High-Def to watch KARE 11 she-anchors) but I can only assume. If this were to happen, it would be right up there with obtaining a copy of "Bad Sister" in things that I wish would happen really soon. It would be so awesome to be a real city, I would feel like Drunknoccio and T-Paw would be my mulleted Gepetto. This would be colossal, to the point where I would have to take at least a week off of work and save up for cabs. Just imagine how much more drunker you could get in that extra two hours. People wouldn't go out until after midnight, Denny's would combust with the weight of drunken brahs, and hangovers would be the fashion of Fall! Sorry about the ranting, its just that I remember the days of 1 o'clock bar close and how bad that was on the fun. Four A.M would be an additional hour on Matchbox 20s second biggest hit even. Take that Rob Thomas!

In other news, I just read that the new Black Keys album was produced by Danger Mouse. This thing is going to be GIGANTIC!, like top ten Billboard gigantic. Honestly, the Black Keys are the only band that I hear generating any kind of buzz from the non-core of music freaks that I hang out with. When my dad asks about them, you know somethings up.

RIP Jeff Healy...what the hell is this Road House curse going around. First Healy dies, then Dalton gets pancreatic cancer...I just wish it was a curse of Point Break that only effected Lori Petty. That bitch always rubbed me the wrong way.

Monday, March 03, 2008

You're Making Me Sorry Somehow

Thanks for the shit ton of nicknames that you posted. There's for sure gonna be a Part II and a Part III...much like Rocky III, III's gonna be the best part. Now only if you could help me find this 90s porn called "Bad Sister"(lets say it features a mother/daughter team, Asia Carerre, and two "adopted sisters" performing Colonel Angus with ice cubes) my life would be complete. Hell, at this point I would settle for the Jill Kelly ESPN knockoff anchor porn where the head anchor says that women "don't know squat shit about football. They just think they knows that Dan Marino and John Elways cute."

I made sweet love to the record show this weekend, where I acquired the first three Turtles albums(re-released), an OG pressing of New York Dolls S/T, the Raspberries second album and the Jackson 5 "ABC". Good shit, and I also bought a rack for my records, so the step kids can breathe.

Oh, and finally, (mainly for Peter H. Quist and myself) I found the original copy of the Grant Hart City Pages article where he tries to rip Tim Pawlenty a new asshole but comes off as the most pretentious, uneducated 80s indie icon this side of Mike Watt. I think that this was the article that cemented my belief that "Zen Arcade" is incredibly overrated. Enjoy!