Tuesday, January 29, 2008

These Drunken Hot Daddies

So fans, I got a new tattoo...kinda like Motley Crue's late period album, except mine doesn't suck. Its the Twins "TC" logo with an outline of the state of Minnesota. And then, the Twinks go and trade Johan. I give you my arm, and you give away yours.

And what do we get? Some prospects. Not Jacoby, not John Lester, not Philip Hughes, not Melky...but some unproven cats who may or may not contribute. We all know that Terry Ryan was known for trading his superstars at the pinnacle of their careers for minor league gold, but I'm a little worried Bill Smith isn't Terry Ryan. I hope the Twins know something I don't know. Look at the blockbuster trades in the past and how the superstar panned out (and what we got in return):

  • Frank Viola to the Mets in 1989- Sweet Music had one more good year, and then his arm blew up. Meanwhile, the Twins got Rick Aguleria, Kevin Tapani and David West. All three were on the 1991 World Series winning roster, and all contributed.
  • Chuck Knoblauch to the Yankees in 1998- Chuck won a few World Series, then had a nervous breakdown and hit Keith Olberman's mom in the face with a baseball from 20 feet away. Then he (maybe)roided up and has to testify before Congress. The Twins got Eric Milton and Christian Guzman, who were keys in the resurgence of the franchise. Way to go, Chuck!
  • A.J. Pierzynski to the Giants in 2004-A.J. became the most reviled baseball player in years, but won a WS with the Sox...after the Giants booted his ass out of town. And the Twins got one of the top three closers in baseball (Joe Nathan), a starter (BOOOOOOOOF) and a phenom(Fransisco Liriano).

Hopefully Bill Smith learned something from his Jedi-Master Ryan in the trading department.

In other news...

I also obtained a bunch of vinyl recently, including The Turtles Greatest Hits. In my not-so-humble opinion The Turtles were the most underrated band of the 60s. They wrote amazing songs and even had the balls to release a concept album called "The Turtles In The Battle Of The Bands" where they played as a different band on each track. Also, half the band went on to play with Frank Zappa in the early 70's. Pretty impressive for a band that was considered bubblegum at the time.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

2007- The Year In Music

Here it is, the 4th annual Jake Eickholt music year in review blog.

Singles of 2007:
"International Players Anthem” UGK/Outkast-When history digs up the best hip-hop collabs of all time, this will be right up there with “Rampage”, the “Get By” remix and “Scenario”. Andre tells us about the finer points of texting, Pimp C describes how he likes to get down (on top of the covers, always a condom), Bun B tries to find him a steady bitch and Big Boi discusses pulling out and child support. Oh, and the video is easily in the top five of all time.

“I’m A Flirt” R. Kelly w/T.I and T-Pain-The aural equivalent of the Beef and Sausage with sweet peppers and cheese whiz at Chris and Rob’s. There’s a lot of shit in there, you know its not good for you, you question your sanity when you take it in. But when you do, you find it delicious and magical. And it gives you heartburn. Bonus points for the video featuring the R. Kelly face being featured five times at least, T-Pain shaking like a retarded Tickle Me Elmo, T.I.s wearing his hat like Mick from “Rocky” and the crowning of “The King Of R’N’B” by hookers.

“Big Girls Don’t Cry” Fergie- It doesn’t matter who wrote it OR who preformed it. It’s catchy as hell and well crafted pop cheese. And yes, “London Bridge” was the worst song of 2006.
“Chelsea Dagger”-Four Scotts take their stage name from “The Goonies” and come up with one of the best wordless choruses since the mid 60s (when wordless choruses were all the rage).

“This Is For Real” Motion City Soundtrack- Local boys meet Ric Ockasek, Shiny keyboard riffs and emo man lyrics ensue. How can Fall Out Boy sell out arenas, and these guys can’t get anything but “next big thing” status?

“Wouldn’t Get Far” The Game w/Kanye West- The Game goes away from his usual badazz shtick to call out video ho’s. The Kanye delivers a hot beat and a fan fucking tastic guest verse about Ne-Yo, Geos and how many black foxes he’s bagged.

“Radio Nowhere”-Bruce is back, kicking radios ass and asking if anyone is alive anymore. If 1984 sucked as bad as 2007 did, this song could have been on “Born In The USA.”

“Do You Feel Me” Anthony Hamilton-Even though your song doesn’t have a question mark, I do indeed feel this lost soul gem that wasn’t actually lost at all (except by commercial radio, which felt the need to play “Crank That”).

“Men’s Needs” The Cribs- Morris Day was wrong. We like new wave.

“We’ve Got Everything”-What kind of fucked up year was it that Modest Mouse had a #1 album? And also, that Johnny Marr PLAYED on a #1 album that wasn’t released in the UK? Oh well, this was the best song on a pretty decent album

“She Moves In Her Own Way” The Kooks- Little ditty bout the perfect girl who cares about how her boy’s day went.

“Effect & Cause”-The songs that Jack White sings kinda like a girl are the best. It’s kind of like Jack would have had Meg sing this if she didn’t kind of suck at singing. Here’s to hoping for a Loretta Lynn cover in 2009!

“Hate It Here” Wilco-Wilco is like one of those Hershey’s grab bags old women buy, in good way. You’ve got your Mr. Goodbar (classic rock), your Krackel (blue eyed soul) and your dark chocolate Hershey’s (60s pop). This was the Krackel of “Sky Blue Sky’.

“No One” Alicia Keys- A song so catchy, so effortless, it would have topped the charts in 1957, 1967, 1977, 1987 or 1997.

“Smile” Lilly Allen-Cute little Brit gets all happy and sassy about her shithead ex being hurt over a sweet, vaguely Caribbean beat. A #1 in the UK that deserved better than #48 here.

Albums of the Year:
“Magic” Bruce Springsteen- It was a big year for a guy who has had a few of em. All of the sudden, indie rock tells us that the Boss really was the Boss, and the Boss says thanks. Then, he kicks all of their asses by making a classic rocker in the vein of “Born To Run” and “Born in the USA”.

“Because Of The Times” Kings of Leon- At this point in the game, it seems impossible for Kings of Leon to make anything but a rockin, kickass album. Yet, every album still seems fresh and not repetitive. And the bag of tricks expands with new sounds each time (listen to “Knocked Up” for an example).

“Graduation” Kanye West- So many hooks! So many classic lines (like I'll never be picture-perfect Beyonce/Be light as Al B or black as Chonce/Remember him from Blackstreet? He was as black as the street was). Really, what rapper samples Daft Punk and sells millions because of it besides Mr. West?

“Version” Mark Ronson- Famous Brit calls his famous Brit friends (Lilly Allen, Amy Winehouse, Robbie Williams) and takes modern songs and makes them sound like 60s soul with a little help from his American friends(the Dap-Kings). Awesome shit ensues.

“Yours To Keep” Albert Hammond Jr- Stroke Albert Hammond Jr took his dads big hit “It Never Rains in Southern California” a bit too litteraly and recorded an album full of smooth Cali pop that sounds a bit like his day job, but not too much so to make the whole thing redundant.

“Costello Music” The Fratellis- The album released in 2007 that would have felt most at home in 1977. There were lots of na-na-nas and duh-duh-duhs, and a lot of songs about chicks. And it was catchy as hell.

“Hip Hop Is Dead” Nas- All the shit hoppers claimed it was still alive. Then, Soulja Boy hit #1 on the Hot 100, making Nastradamus as real as Mountain Dew Code Red.

“A Weekend In the City” Bloc Party- An album so tender, so fey, that Morrissey must have thrown gladiolas at his CD player the first time he heard it.

“Finding Forever” Common- Common has become the rap equivalent of Kings Of Leon. He is incapable of releasing any less than a good album. This time, he raps about Obama, the crazy astronaut lady and “Finding Nemo”, and it all seems to make perfect sense.

“The Brit Box”- If you know me, this one gets a big DUH. Four discs of underground Brit music.

“Traveling Wilburys Collection”-A band that was such a super group that Jeff Lynne (who had something like 25 top 40 hits with ELO) is the forgotten one. With this much talent making the broth, you’d think the songs would be mediocre. One listen to “Handle With Care” or “Last Night” proves that really wrong. The fact that this was out of print until this year even made the AP newswire.

Lollapalooza-Even though it wasn't as good as 2006, Lolla did have Pearl Jam as it's headliner, along with plenty of other good bands. And it is in Chicago. What could be better?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Sweetheart, Who Loved You From The Start?

Not much new on the home front. I have just been buying a bunch of CDs and eating a bunch of sour cream and chive cracker sandwiches. Oh, and I'm gearing up for Cloud Trip V. Its gonna be legendary.

Unfortunately, my life recently has consisted of work and work, with a liberal sprinkling of work on top of that. I work 50 hours at my day job this week and 16 at the Bucks. I really need money though, so it pays off. Oh, and I picked some dude (I didn't even bother to learn his name) from the help desk at work to quit, and it got me ten bucks in the work dead pool. I never win anything like that, except when I won the real people dead pool in 2006 by guessing, unfortunately, that the Twins PA guy would die.

Be on the lookout for the best of 2007 list this weekend(hopefully).