Tuesday, March 27, 2007

She's Radioactive (Radioactive)

I'm pretty psyched for the Twins season to start. Hopefully that will break me out my current, unexplained Fred Funk I'm in. Maybe it has to do with the ghetto children running around the parking lot screaming witty little bon mots like, "Don't call mae Lizzie anymo'. Only mae friend call mae Liz." Or my personal fave, "Dat's right, I called yo a D-I-C-Khead." Not to mention the fucks revving the engines on their Silverados and Grand Prixs at 12:30AM. Oh, and they don't lock our apartment doors. I hate Fridley.

Joss Stone is on Craig Ferguson right now. All I can think of is, "God, what a fine ass prostitute." Just kidding. I don't care who fucks who, as long as the final product is listenable. Shit, Bob Dylan could have blown everyone in Cafe Wha? and as long as "Blonde On Blonde" was the gangsta shit, who gives a fuck?

The reason I'm watching Mr. Fergie is that Robin Williams is on Conan. I would rather take it in the pooper from the "Rabid Wolverine" Chris Benoit than ever watch that ADD attention deprived Leprechaun ever again. Ah-lalalalalala, Uh-whoowhoowhoo. And that's the gist of his sthick.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Ain't No Other Man (She Wouldn't F@#% For Tracks)

Thanks Jeff for telling me about this one. Finally read some of the comments that Dallas Austin said about Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone gettin nasty for production on their respective albums. We all knew that Xtina or whatever the fuck was a no talent whore, but Joss Stone? Really now, besides being in my fanstasy file, where is she really been? "Fell In Love With A Boy" got a little airplay, and that last single was horrible. But, you know, why not bang her for a job? If my job consisted of fucking Joss Stone so I could make her lattes, you damn well better believe I would make that sacrifice.

March 30th, 1987 was the release of "Sign Of The Times" by Prince. On March 30th, 2007, I am going to listen to nothing but this album. Even "It's Gonna Be A Beautiful Night," which is weak. I will also allow B-Sides from the singles, one of which was "Shockadelica". Mmmmm, Camille. Oh, and probably "Alphabet St." I don't know why, I just dig that song.

The Cuts (Fridley Gunfire Edition)
"She Moves In Her Own Way" The Kooks
"Born To Run" Bruce Springsteen
Side one of Blind Faith S/T
"Wouldn't Get Far" The Game/Kanye West
"Southbound" Thin Lizzy