It's Got To Be...Perfect, It's Got To Be...Worth It, Yeah

Some dude on VH1 dressed up like Eliot from ET and cried when he thought of flying like they did in the movie. Then some guys drove by in a Delta 88 and yelled "ET sucks dick". Classic. I hate that fucking movie. As a kid, I always got really grossed out when ET gets horny and so does Eliot. I thought that it was kinda gay like Eliot and ET were lovers or something. All I know, it gave me a nauseating feeling. Not that theres anything wrong with being homosexual lovers. It was, as Bowie says, "A love they could not obey." So unwholesome.

The episode of Futurama with Sarah Silverman as Frys girlfriend is probably the second best episode next to the one with the four leaf clover. TV is always way better after midnight. I always wondered why they didn't just put the late night stuff on instead of Cosby Show reruns and numerous airings of Steve Harvey. And its the only time MTV shows friggin videos. Too bad shit like "Culo" and Slow Motion Fa Mae are on repeatedly. That Fat Joe/Terror Squad "Lean Back" song is the funniest shit on TV. Give that man a sitcom. I don't think it is supposed to be funny at all, but the sight of a 500 pound man calling dances "The Rock-A-Way" and the "Lean Back" by shifting 3 inches back are really pathetically funny.

We Are The Bears, Shufflin' Crew

Angie called me around 1 AM and told me that Josh was not coming along for the Chicago trip, ending all the car drama. Thank God. I am pumped that it is over. Done, next topic. For some reason when I turned on my computer, the Toast webpage was up. So I read Ted's journal. What a piece of shit, talking about his adoring fans and how one particular made him think differently about life. I wonder what 16 year old girl that was, and how many times he told her that he wasn't down for relationships. Check out the smug self indulgent prattle of all Toast members at toastwebsite.com/ . Funny shit. Bought the new Butch Walker (which I didn't know came out yet) and it is kinda mellow compared to Marvelous 3 or his first solo. It's pretty good on the first listen though. Oh, and last night, some drunk hot 17 year old came through the drive-thru yelling and offering passerby her fine little ass. I thought I left the trash behind at Taco Bell but I guess I was wrong. Night, y'all.

It Takes A Strong Man, Baby. But I'm Showing You The Door

Forgot to mention that Quade ended the NFL 2K5 streak at seven with a last second stand against my Pats with the "vaunted" Oakland D. Still beat Baller4Now with an interception with 20 seconds left. Rygar-Ninja 31-0 still sticks in my craw, and I will have my revenge

Close Your Eyes And It's Past, Story Of My Life

Today was hell at work, as the rush of idiots ordering Frapps never stopped. Fortunately, Ken Speake of KARE 11 came in and ordered a Mocha Frapp. That man is a mountain, intimidating for a 60-something.

Tonight I was just thinking about fate and whatnot. I believe in fate, although most of you out there tell me you don't. Some I know believe that God plays a role in who we meet and what we do, and I beg to differ. It seems that everyone who comes into our lives and touches some basic nerve is meant to do that for some reason. Sure, many say that the idea of soul mates is absurd and that the only way we find friendships is based on proximity, but I do not like this explanation. Proximity to kids in my neighborhood allowed for me to play some fun games as a kid, but I don't talk to anyone from those days. Strangely, I met most of my good friends in junior high, although at the time I was not close to them.

I think that you meet people for a reason. It always seems that I meet new people right around the time that I am most low. Except for women, who I meet at the wrong time almost exclusively. All the women that I meet that I want to date have boyfriends, have man drama or are interested in someone else. Quite honestly, I think that I have met only two or three girls that I have ever found attractive on a physical and mental level. Most of the time its either friends or just some hot girl. Of course, I never say anything to the girl that I am attracted to, with the exception of Jody, and that was almost too late. I always think of the most poetic, great things to say but cannot voice them because they would sound corny. It is something I have to work on so I don't let what could be not be due to cowardice. I also need to stop looking and then maybe my dream woman will come. Fate brought me to this point, and I can't wait to see where fate brings me.

You Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me Lucille

I am watching Kenny Rogers and his wife hold their newborn twins with his wifes twin sister on MSNBC as I write this. It is the most surreal thing that I have ever seen, and it shows how far American news has fallen since the days of Cronkite and Brinkley. Fuck Cable News, hard.

If There's Somebody Calling Me On, She's The One

Have to work tomorrow at 9:45 until 6:15 which is going to kill me. I am so pissed that I can't buy all the CDs that I want due to Chicago. This is a huge shame, seeing how I had to put back about five quality babies last night at Cheapo Uptown. Still managed to buy some $2.95 SKUFs though. Millencollin's "Life On A Plate" got me so damn pumped that I am only now getting over it. It has to be the stupidest shit ever, but its pop punk rhythms get me going. The songs of the weekend are definelty "History Lesson Part II" by the Minutemen, "Birdhouse In Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants, and "Mayor Of Simpleton" by XTC. I would also like to take this opportunity to challenge all who dare to play me in NFL 2K5 to bring it and name the place and time. I went undefeated last night over fierce competition, which is a first for moi seeing as how I blow dick at any football game without Tecmo and Bowl in the title (and that one too 70% of the time). The Pats are a force of nature and videogame Corey Dillon and Vinetiari are the truth. Oh, and the Twins are as hot as Carlie Stevens right now. Night everyone.

Look Into My Tired Eyes, See Someone You Don't Recognize

Went to Angie's apartment last night and played drinking games until 3 in the morning. After all that fun, went to Dennys with JA Hill and Christian to eat some delicious Chicken Fried Steak. The apartment drinking games turned out to be more fun than I thought could be possible. The hand on the head rule was a little hard to comprehend, though. I was supposed to go eat some Broadway buffet, but it looks as if that is not going to happen, which is too bad. All in all, I am really enjoying my three days off (even though I worked at the farm yesterday, it doesn't count).

It was weird seeing Cody leave the farm fold. You never think that one of your kids will leave the nest so quickly.

Christian and Jeff's Modest Mouse duet was the funniest thing that I have ever heard. I never knew someone could hate a band with so much passion. Although I disagree, I still respect that they hate them so much.

Chicago is less than a week away, and the lineup is not totally finalized. What the hell. And why is no one talking about the damn trip? It is like the only people discussing anything about the trip are me Jeff and Quade. And Angie and I are the only ones planning. I have not heard shit from anyone else. Whatever, everything will work out.

As Long As Old Men Sit And Talk About The Weather

Have you ever read any of the other peoples blogs that connect to your interests? Good Lord, some of those people live more boring lives than my own. Check them out sometime. I am hoping to stumble upon Kathy Griffin's blog and flood her comment box with hate. Trust me, that is the only box of Ms. Griffins that should ever be flooded.

On another totally unrelated note, I think that its time to settle for when it comes to the ladies. I notice that the only women I ever show interest in are usually extremely gorgeous and intelligent, and although I am both of these things (just kidding), most are out of my league. I am not saying that I am going to date a total boring antisocial ugmo or some big smelly girl. What I am trying to say is this: 21 is pretty old to only have had one serious relationship (or one relationship at all). I haven't really had an actual date in over nine months, and I am getting angry when I see couples in public. Overall, women can provide a certain companionship that men can't, and I am not talking sexually. So it is time to get out there and look for other things in women besides just how smart or hot they are.

Knock Out A Home Run, Shout A Hip-Hooray!

The Twins game was unbelievable tonight. I never thought I'd see one victory over the Bronx Bombers, yet alone two. The drunk college age dudes behind us were horrid and almost ruined the day. I still can't fathom how assholes can get the gorgeous women who were at the game tonight. Jeff and I had a fantastic time judging all the women who came with the aforementioned assholes. Johan's pitching made everything all right in the long run. I also loved the "Yankees Suck" chant that 40,000 people were screaming in unison. This team is really hitting their stride after Sundays HUGE win in Cleveland. If the playoffs come, I am camping out no matter how much school I miss or how long it takes. T-Wolves and Twins playoff games attended in the same season? It could happen.

And I'd Rather Be Anywhere Else Than Here Today

Here's where the summer and the story ends. (The Sundays and Ryan Adams, respectively). Being a wide receiver for chick problems is not as bad as I thought, I can deal with it if that someone listens to me also. Scott Erickson with the Rangers? Brings me back to the summer of 1991, with the bike trips up to Sunkist Park for baseball and Peoples Plus for the 50 cent Topps and Donruss packs and the Cookies and Cream Twix (Remember those anyone?) That gets me to thinking, what happened to some products and does anyone else remember them? Barqs Red Creme was pulled for being toxic, but that shit was so damn good. Mario and Yoshi Soda (I think Shasta put it out)? Tasted like Red Apple Slice, which doesn't exist either. Nintendo Cereal System and Pac Man Cereal were awesome, but NCS tasted like pure ass. The box was hot though. Also, Twix when it was berries and Cookie Crisp with the two cops, the robber and the dog were tastier than they are today. Pineapple Sunkist, Crush and Minute Maid? The damn south gets those but we don't anymore. Does anyone else have any faves that are not around anymore?

Yanks looked like bitch ass punks tonight. Hopefully I can get tix tomorrow, as it almost sold out tonight. Why in the hell do I want to bang Avril so damn bad? I usually don't like angry chicks, but I would love to do her happy. I gots three days off at the Bucks this week, but I work Le Farm on Thursday. Shitty. ESPN Top 25 shows are so cool. Top 25 commercials are the shit. Larry Bird in a Converse ad with a bitchin cock broom is unbelievable.

Cause All They Do Is They Hurt And Trample...

I don't get where everyone comes off saying that I bitch about women in my blog. True, I can't stand 9/10 of em right now, but I usually just talk about parties and music and movies that I have seen. If I actually let my emotions run wild, most would scoff or just plain not get it. That said, I cannot stand being the proverbial pillow that women cry upon. For Gods sake, what makes most girls think that I am the one who wants to hear their problems? In the immortal words of Ed O'Neil, "Why did they come to me to die?" Whatever, maybe one day I will meet one who doesn't pretend shes not hot so I don't have to say, "Your boobs are huge. Shut Up" (This has happened TWICE now). Off to bed, sweet waterbed so I can dream of making lattes. Yes, I have asinine coffee making dreams.

Because Your Kiss, Your Kiss Is On My List

The final 34 albums are...
67.Rage Against The Machine-"S/T" Key Track: Killing In The Name
68.Red Hot Chili Peppers-"Californication" Key Track: Scar Tissue
69.The Time-"What Time Is It?" Key Track: 777-9311
70.Robbie Williams-"The Ego Has Landed" Key Track: Win Some Lose Some
71.Pearl Jam-"Vs." Key Track:Elderly Woman Behind the Counter In A Small Town
72.The Ataris-"Blue Skies, Broken Hearts Next 12 Exits" Key Track: I Won't Spend Another Night Alone
73.Beastie Boys-"Pauls Boutique" Key Track: Shadrach
74.The Cars-"S/T" Key Track: Bye Bye Love
75.Sunny Day Real Estate-"Diary" Key Track: In Circles
76.The Buzzcocks-"Singles Going Steady" Key Track: Everybody's Happy Nowadays
77.Fountains Of Wayne-"Welcome Interstate Managers" Key Track: Valley Winter Song
78.Eric B. and Rakim-"Paid In Full" Key Track: Eric B. Is President
79.Green Day-"Dookie" Key Track: F.O.D.
80.Ben Kweller-"Sha Sha" Key Track: Falling
81.Everclear-"So Much For The Afterglow" Key Track: White Men In Black Suits
82.Jimmy Eat World-"Bleed American" Key Track: Your House
83.Foo Fighters-"The Colour and The Shape" Key Track: Walking After You
84.David Bowie-"Aladdin Sane" Key Track: The Jean Genie
85.Jay Z-"The Black Album" Key Track: 99 Problems
86.Lou Reed-"Transformer" Key Track: Perfect Day
87.Wilco-"Summerteeth" Key Track: Nothingsgonnastandinmyway (Again)
88.Soundgarden-"Superunknown" Key Track: Fell On Black Days
89.Ween-"Chocolate and Cheese" Key Track: That's What Deaner Was Talking About
90.The Clash-"S/T (American Version)" Key Track: White Man In Hammersmith Palais
91.TOOL-"Aenima" Key Track: H
92.R.E.M-"Automatic For The People" Key Track: Nightswimming
93.Smashing Pumpkins-"Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness" Key Track: Here Is No Why
94.Toadies-"Rubberneck" Key Track: Tyler
95.Rancid-"And Out Come The Wolves" Key Track: Old Friend
96.Incubus-"Make Yourself" Key Track: I Miss You
97.A Tribe Called Quest-"The Low End Theory" Key Track: Butter
98.John Lennon-"Imagine" Key Track: How Do You Sleep?
99.NERD-"...In Search Of" Key Track: Run In To The Sun
100.Failure-"Fantastic Planet" Key Track: The Nurse Who Loved Me

I probably forgot a few favorites on this list, I have almost 700 albums so I forget from time to time. There are a few that may be making the list in the future. I am really really digging the new Lyrics Born, Gang Of Fours "Entertainment", X "Los Angeles", The Smiths "The Queen Is Dead" and quite a few others. This is a pretty comprehensive list from 1994-2004 of my favorites.

Gosh Darn You Min-EE-Apolis Girls

I attended Louwerse wedding today and it was quite a strange thing to see. I never thought that I would be attending the wedding of someone younger than me that I have known since 9th grade. As a matter of fact, I never expected any of my friends to get married any time before 25. That said, the wedding was much nicer than I expected. It was not small and thrown together like I expected. Louwerse in a suit was quite a sight to see. Not to mention that we gots to eat some bomb ass egg rolls and cake courtesy of Steeles mom.

The pirate partay was gay. So so very gay. I think that those fat Goth girls should eat more fucking meat and give up the whole damn vegan thing because the lack of protein makes them turn into raving bitches. I am so glad that the house was rightly plundered, for if it wasn't, the night would have been a waste. It was cool to see Russ though. Too bad he is leaving for Austin. A funny man if there ever was one.

We sing all the wrong songs

Here is the next 33 of the hot list.
34.The Beatles-"Abbey Road" Key Track: Here Comes the Sun
35.Matthew Sweet-"Girlfriend" Key Track: Girlfriend
36.John Lennon-"Plastic Ono Band" Key Track: Love
37.Blink 182-"Take Off Your Pants And Jacket" Key Track: Everytime I Look For You
38.Ice Cube-"Death Certificate" Key Track: The Wrong N**** To Fuck Wit"
39.Marvelous 3-"Hey! Album" Key Track: Over Your Head
40.Velvet Underground-"Velvet Underground (Banana)" Key Track: Waiting For The Man
41.Television-"Marquee Moon" Key Track: See No Evil
42.Pearl Jam-"Vitalogy" Key Track: Satans Bed
43.De La Soul-"De La Soul Is Dead" Key Track: A Rollerskating Jam Named Saturdays
44.Radiohead-"OK Computer" Key Track: No Surprises
45.Material Issue-"International Pop Overthrow" Key Track: Lil' Christine
46.David Bowie-"Low" Key Track: Speed Of Life
47.Flaming Lips-"Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots" Key Track: Fight Test
48.The Get Up Kids-"Something To Write Home About" Key Track: Valentine
49.Pavement-"Slanted And Enchanted" Key Track:Summer Babe
50.The Beatles-"Revolver" Key Track: She Said She Said
51.The Offspring-"Ixnay On The Hombre" Key Track: Gone Away
52.Kenna-"New Sacred Cow" Key Track: I'm Gone
53.Elvis Costello-"My Aim Is True" Key Track: Allison
54.Outkast-"Stankonia" Key Track: I'll Call Before I Come
55.Coldplay-"Parachutes" Key Track: Everythings Not Lost
56.The Replacements-"Let It Be" Key Track: Unsatisfied
57.The Refreshments-"Fizzy Fuzzy Big And Buzzy" Key Track: Suckerpunch
58. Weezer-"Pinkerton" Key Track: Falling For You
59.Nirvana-"Nevermind" Key Track: On A Plain
60.Stone Temple Pilots-"Purple" Key Track: Interstate Love Song
61.Foo Fighters-"S/T" Key Track: Floaty
62.Oasis-"Whats The Story Morning Glory?" Key Track: Some Might Say
63.Prince-"Dirty Mind" Key Track: When You Were Mine
64.Ash-"1977" Key Track: Girl From Mars
65.Slick Rick-"The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick" Key Track: Treat Her Like A Prostitute
66.Black Crowes-"Shake Your Moneymaker" Key Track: Twice As Hard

All I Want Is Some Truth, Just Gimmie Some Truth

Today was a perfect fall afternoon, except for it being August 9th. I want summer, dammit. The only bad thing about fall is the fact that it brings back memories of the fall of 2001. Bad time for all the crew if memory serves correct. Anyways, the first chill in the air always makes me feel a bit wistful and makes me pumped about the site of girls in little jackets and turtlenecks. God, how I love a beautiful women in a turtleneck. Kelly Clarkson is on the Tonight Show and I cant take my eyes off of her, my sweet lord. Too bad she's singing an Avril Lavigne song from the Princess Diaries 2. I will admit that I liked the first Princess Diaries. Why, I don't know. My mom bought it and I was bored one day, and it was kinda cute. I will stop now. Tomorrow I am going to a soul food restaurant with a few of the 'Bucks crew to eat hush puppies. And then at 12, it is the big two-one of a certain Brandon John Quade. Welcome to the club, my lord.

She Was The First She'll Be The Last... She Bangs The Drums

I just got done reading a top 100 albums list, and it got me to thinking: what are my top 100 albums? I guess it would take too long to order them and think about overall, so I think I am going to do a top 33 in 3 parts. The albums are in no particular order, seeing as how that would be too hard. I highlighted my favorite track off each album. Also, I am avoiding comps or best ofs unless they are so damn good they must be included. Enjoy!!!
JAKE EICKHOLTS TOP 100 ALBUMS (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)
1.Peal Jam-"Ten" Key Track: Oceans
2.Fountains Of Wayne-"Utopia Parkway" Key Track: Troubled Times
3.Deftones-"White Pony" Key Track:Teenager
4.Queens Of The Stone Age-"Rated "R"" Key Track: In The Fade
5.Elvis Costello-"This Years Model" Key Track:I Don't Want To Go To Chelsea
6.Van Halen I Key Track: Running With The Devil
7.Guns N' Roses-"Appetite For Destruction" Key Track: Sweet Child O Mine
8.Velvet underground-"Velvet Underground(The Second One)" Key Track:Candy Says
9.Outkast-"Aquemeni" Key Track: Spottiedottieopolicious
10.Stone Roses "S/T" Key Track: Fools Gold
11.Marvin Gaye-"Whats Going On?" Key Track:Mercy Mercy Me
12.Radiohead-"The Bends" Key Track:High and Dry
13.David Bowie-"The Rise and Fall Of Ziggy Stardust" Key Track:Suffragete City
14.Counting Crows-"August and Everything After" Key Track: Anna Begins
15.Ben Folds Five-"Whatever and Ever Amen" Key Track:Missing The War
16.Built To Spill-"There Is Nothing Wrong With Love" Key Track:Reasons
17.Pulp-"Different Class" Key Track:Disco 2000
18.Jay-Z "The Blueprint" Key Track:The Takeover
19.Weezer-"S/T" Key Track: No One Else
20.Prince-"Sign Of The Times" Key Track:Strange Relationship
21.Get Up Kids-"On A Wire" Key Track:Hannah Hold On
22.The Pouges-"Rum Sodomy and the Lash" Key Track:A Pair Of Brown Eyes
23.The Smiths-"Singles" Key Track:There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
24.Social Distortion-"S/T" Key Track: Story Of My Life
25.Ash-"Free All Angels" Key Track: Burn Baby Burn
26.Public Enemy- "It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back" Key Track: Rebel Without a Pause
27.The Clash-"London Calling" Key Track: Train In Vain
28.Refused-"The Shape Of Punk To Come" Key Track:New Noise
29.The Pixies-"Doolittle" Key Track:Here Comes Your Man
30.Bob Dylan-"Blonde On Blonde" Key Track: Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again
31.The Beatles"The White Album" Key Track: Happiness Is A Warm Gun
32. The Strokes"Is This It" Key Track: The Modern Age
33. The White Stripes "White Blood Cells" Key Track:Fell In Love With A Girl

So there is the first part of my list, unlike Seanbaby, I will finish my shit.

The Waiting Drove Me Mad

Been kicking it old school today. Pearl Jam Vitalogy is the truth when it comes to 1990's rock. Smashing Pumpkins also. Its junior high all over again. The Twins game was funny as hell when I saw the groom of a wedding party with his pants wedged so far up his ass that it looked like he was wearing a thong. His bride was a tasty little tart though. I am watching this Larry The Cable Guy thing on Comedy Central and actually found a joke funny. What is this world coming to? I also am totally content with my CD finds yesterday. The Smiths "Hateful Of Hollow", Blackalicious "Nia", X "Wild Gift/Los Angeles" (Two CLASSICS on one discs, though "Adult Books" and "We're Desperate" are better on the No Thanks! Boxset), The Judgment Night Soundtrack ($.95) and Junior Senior because it is so damn flamboyant and deliciously gay. Work tomorrow again, damn. Seven more hours of coffee for freaking little angry housewives. I'm sorry that you don't have exactly 1/2 a packet of Equal in your latte. I'll try harder next time.

Fade Into You, Strange You Never Knew

Another day, another hellacious work experience. The eight hour day was killer enough, but to top it all off, the power went out at Starbucks. I Swiffer dusted everything in the store and drank coffee while the stupid housewives drove through confused that they couldn't drink iced venti non-fat lattes. The farm was just another joke day where we ate cake from Kwaamars boo.

I am really excited about the day tomorrow. I don't work and I will buy CDs and eat za until I burst. And the Chicago trip seems to be shaping up nicely. Plus, a Twins game in the evening (too bad its only the second one this year).

I have realized lately that I seem to want my life to shape up like a movie. I want the funny bits to happen, the stereotypical best friend to be there for me when I have lady problems, and me to finally get the girl at the end after overcoming adversity to the stirring notes of "Reasons" by Built To Spill. Does everyone feel like this? I mean, I actually visualize my life this way, like I am an outsider in my own life. Not in a bad way, mind you. From time to time grandiose thoughts run through my head that I am actually doing something that someone else would enjoy watching, like I could sell my life as a movie to others. Who would play me? I have no idea. I would get Haley Joel Osment for Quade, Kid Rock for Nate, Natasha Lyomme for Jody (not an exact look alike, but a weird redhead), and I think Ethan Hawke for Jeff. Ethan Hawke because they are both brooding. I could also use Eugene Levy because he adds needed comedic punch and has the catepillars to match JAH. Cody would be played by a non-SAG Mexican guy (or Vin Diesel), and Milla would be played by some art house French guy who ripped it up at Cannes. Nick would be played by Serj from System of a Down. John Cusack would need to make an appearance somehow because my movie would be a classic if he appeared. I can't really think of any other actors to play Pete, Christian or any other farmers. The movie would have a nice happy tied together ending, something my life cannot have because it cannot be summed up in two hours. Damn, if it were only a movie.

I'm All Out Of Love, I'm So Lost Without You

Finally got the internet back. Its been an interesting few weeks. Went and saw the Time with the extended crew, got drunk with a bunch of anti-social gay dudes, partied a little too hard at Cody's with Nick and the usual suspects and played fucking an UNO variant somewhere in between. I also have been working a bunch at both of my jobs and finally won a Home Run Derby over Nick and Zach. Nothing feels quite as good as hitting a baseball 300 feet or making a diving catch. It makes me long for the days when I was a little league all star selection with Kyle Bobby and Nate.
I finally saw Napoleon Dynamite today. Damn. What a funny funny movie. I had the biggest grin for the first 45 minutes. It is a must buy when it comes out on DVD. I want to see it again right now!!!!! I have been going to a lot of movies lately. It is a nice change from the time when I was dating Jody and she didn't want to see many movies. It reminds me of when Louwerse and I discovered High Fidelity at the old Springbrook Theatre with a sack of White Castles. Movies are a great social interaction, and I missed that for quite some time.