Monday, January 31, 2005

Had Me A Real Good Time

Holy shit, last night was a blur. I don't think that I am going to drink like that again. Jeff told me today that I was discussing politics with some guy at the bar and I yelled "Clinton/Bush Administration. Clinton was the shit. Fight The Powers that be!" Then I proceeded to rap Public Enemy's "Fight the Power." What the hell. I am still hung over, and it is 24 hours later. Those Nordeast bars make some fucking stiff drinks. Damn. Other highlights were Jeff hucking snowballs at a party bus that wouldn't let us on, our cabbie telling us how he likes "dykes" and "Viagra," and going to the 22 Club and seeing the most disgusting stripper ever. Having never been to a strip club, I wasn't prepared to see a nasty 30 year old dance with all the lights on. Just disturbing. Jeff said that he was more interested in looking at me than the stripper. Then Christian and I wound up at Dennys and I think I pissed off our waiter by telling Christian to "smoke a couple of fags" in front of the guy who was obviously gay. Lapse of judgment. Good night though, good night.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

I Don't Remember Names, But I Remember Faces

I agree with Christians post. I couldnt name half the people in most of the new bands these days. I suppose that Prince and the Revolution benefited from "Purple Rain," but 99 percent of the American public can name the Beatles and the principles in the Stones. And I'm not sure why. Take The Shins. I love them, absolutely think that "Chutes Too Narrow" is one of the best albums that I have heard in the last five years. But I can't even name the lead singer. I can name three of the Strokes, two dudes from Interpol and the lead singer of the Killers. The last bands that I could name everyone in were probably Pearl Jam, Weezer and Nirvana because they maybe meant more to me than most. I fell in love with these groups when I was an early teen, and that is when you really start to identify with music. Also, theres a guy in Oasis named Bonehead. What a queer name.

I had a dream last night that Alex Steele and I sat on a couch and he told me that buying 3.2 beer was the way to go, he always shopped at Rainbow for his booze. Then he told me that they sold "Tyed To The Bedpost" mix. Strange shit.

I also think that this is pretty hilarious. I was watching "Apocalypse Now" last night and I got angry that Martin Sheen was going to bang this French chick. I think its due to the fact that its been awhile for me. Funny shit, when you start to hate other people in movies because they are getting lucky. Its a damn movie!!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

An Ode To Eddie Money (aka "Take Me Home Tonight")

We need more rock stars like Eddie Money. Yes, I know that this is a bold statement, but come on. I like my rock stars either flamboyant as shit or not at all. But Eddie is different. He was a cop before becoming a "rocker". A NYC cop. As the Strokes say, "They ain't too smart." But I digress. Eddie looked like a 5th grade math teacher and only sang one of two kinds of songs. They were 1) Songs about travel (ie. "Two Tickets To Paradise," "I Wanna Go Back,") and 2) Songs about wanting to be loved (ie. "I Think I'm In Love," "I Want To Fall In Love.") Yes, Eddie didn't have much for the whole "writing with depth" thing, and he will never be mistaken for Dylan. But the man didn't write "P.I.M.P" or mindless trifle like that. His shit was HONEST! Honesty is a good quality I think. Plus, I would like to have a beer with Mr. Money sometime. I wonder if his hair is still feathered like on the cover of "Super Hits"?

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

You Make Me Wanna La-La

Forget Ashlee Simpson. That no talent moron. What the hell, like those people actually booed you because you are a Sooners fan? The American public knows this about as readily as they know that I sleep naked. Stupid ho. O.J. probably booed her, then realized that he was wasting his life watching shit like this and went and looked for the real killers. How did she get this far? Not talent, because I have a better singing voice (Check out Side Projekts classic 1999 single "Wang Dang" b/w "Porno Muzak" for proof). Its not looks, but she is a butterface. She thinks that she is hotter than I do, though, which is never a good sign. There were probably 75 girls at CPHS between 1997 and 2001 who I would say were much hotter than her. And her sister sucks too. I don't find that broad the least bit attractive. I think it's the whole "stinky ass" thing. Come on, girls don't have bodily functions! I would have a beer with Nick Lachey, he seems kind of down to earth. Anyone who is a proud fan of their shitty hometown teams as much as he is has to be kind of cool? If I ever get famous, I'm rocking Twins and Vikings gear on national TV.

On My Way Nails Broke and Fell Into The Wishing Well

While listening to my IPod tonight, I heard "Rolodex Propaganda" by At The Drive In. That made me really really sad. I remember buying "Relationship Of Command" for seven bucks and playing it non stop senior year. The best album of 2000, hands down. It saddens me to think about what might have been. Sure, Sparta and The Mars Volta both kick ass, but what if they would have stayed together? They were just hitting their stride with that one. It makes one think. What if Rage hadn't broke up? All their albums are quality. Would the fifth album been as good? Or what if Axl wasn't such a fool and G n' R stayed together? "The Spaghetti Incident?" is surprisingly good, and it sounds like "Appetite." Any other bands who hung it up too soon? I would like to hear some other ones. Or bands that hung on too long (Motley Crue, Stones, etc).

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Philadelphia Freedom (Your Sports Fans Suck)

I just saw a story on KARE 11 about the abusive fans in Philly during yesterdays game. All I can say is... NO SHIT! If you had to live in that cesspool of worthlessness that is Philadelphia, you'd be pissed too. Every time I see a movie, TV show or documentary about Philly, I see nothing but crumbling buildings and sad looking poor people. Funny, how they have such die-hard sports fans but their teams suck ass. The Phillies have won one world title in 125 years. At least the Cubs have a few in that time span. The Eagles choke harder than Spreewell and Mama Cass combined, and the Sixers haven't been good consistently since before I was out of diapers. Bottom line, the city is a dirty dump that is famous for a bell and a sandwich which includes Cheez Whiz as its main ingredient. What would you expect from a city that has a jail in its stadium, booed Santa Claus, cheered Michael Irvins temporary paralysis, and is most famous for a movie character?

Monday, January 17, 2005

You Know You're Semi-Good Lookin

Sorry, I haven't updated for a while, but I got a 40 gig IPod on Friday and I have been on a honeymoon with it for the last few days. The perfect companion, she doesn't talk back and plays "Maries The Name (His Latest Flame)" over and over again. God, I love this thing. It's like the biggest, best mixtape that one could imagine. I predict a fruitful union.

I also went to an amazing new(ish) restaurant this evening, Mai Village on University in Saint Paul. It served both Vietnamese food and Chinese, and it was excellent. I got the seven course beef meal, which featured a fondue pot and a mini grill at the table. Fantastic. The decor of the restaurant was unbelievable. There was a koi pond (with waterfalls) in the middle that you had to walk across to get to the main dining area. It was one of the coolest things that I have seen yet in a dining establishment. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys Chinese or is looking for a unique date place.

Friday, January 14, 2005

I'm A Nazi, Baby

I saw this shit when I was jogging at the gym. My first thought was, "What the fuck?" My second thought was, "Damn kids got some balls." My third thought was, "Brits are not funny." Posted by Hello

No Taking, No Giving

Had a fandangalastic day. Worked all day, and it flew by. Then, I went to the gym and I heard "King For A Day" by XTC on the stereo system. They didn't play "Mayor Of Simpleton" or "Senses Working Overtime" or some song everyone knows, they played the biggest shoulda been hit of 1989. If you have never heard it, download it. It sounds like a song that should be played at the end of a great John Hughes movie. Then, I got home and saw a $3500 rebate check from my leftover scholarship money sitting in the mailbox. You know what that means tomorrow...IPOD!!! Finally, and I think the 40 gig is in store. Then, I got the call from Quade to go chill with Dustin at Paul Worwas crib. Every time I see that bastard, I get sad that he has to go to Japan in a few days. Mrs. Bustin Moore is like a delicate flower that you must savor for its beauty for the precious few days it is in bloom each year. If you miss it, you truly have not lived a day.

In other news, my fam got a treadmill. Kinda pumped about that, so I don't have to go to Northwest every friggin day. But if I don't go every day, I will miss out on the weirdness that is seeing Dustin Wagner playing dodgeball against some high school girls and middle aged men. That was one weird sight, I tells ya what.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Whatever You Do, Don't Tell Anyone

This is some hot hot hot news. Two, two two discs in one.

I cant wait to see QOTSA again. The last show ranks as the best ever, really. Trail Of Dead and the Burning Brides were the shit also.

For you, Jeff and Brandon. Enjoy Posted by Hello

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Keep It Between The Lines

I was thinking about the best opening lines to songs ever while at the gym tonight. Its rather funny, but out of my favorite songs, most don't have the most memorable opening lines. The chorus usually sticks out for me. My favorite openers usually tell a story. Pearl Jam opening "Alive" with "Son, have I got a little story for you" is brilliant and it sets the stage for a song about the most twisted of families. I recently read that the song was about incest, with the whole mother/son relationship. I really don't get that out of it but I guess to each his own. Another favorite is by Alkaline Trio in their song "You've Only Got So Far To Go." "Soon ends our stay here, its been fun. But tonight, lets raise a glass to us." This song has a very strong emotional connection for me, as it was after high school and I was really into my ex at the time, but she didn't want me. Longing. The lyrics don't always have to be powerful though. Pavement has two of the best openers ever with "Ice, Baby! I saw your girlfriend and she was eating her fingers like it was just another meal (Summer Babe)" I love how it takes the piss out of Vanilla Ice at a time when he was the biggest star ever. Also, "Lies and betrayals, fruit covered nails, eeeeeeelectricity and lust" from "Paper Cut" is just so stupidly brilliant, it kicks ass. From the indie world, the winner hands down is "Reasons" by Built To Spill. "Come through me, you arrive and I'm on fire." I think that if I ever get married, this will be my wedding song.

The best openers ever have to be from Prince and Elvis Costello, two of the most literate songwriters ever. "Sign Of The Times" gives us "In France, a skinny man died of a big disease with a little name", "It was 10:35 on a lonely Friday night", and "I guess you know me well, I don't like winter. But I seem to get a kick out of doing you cold" on one fucking album. Elvis Costello may be the best songwriter ever, in my opinion. "Alison" has its "Oh, its so funny to be seeing you after so long girl" line, but the best is in my favorite song of all time, "Man Out Of Time" off of "Imperial Bedroom." "So this is where he came to hide, when he ran from you. In a private detective overcoat, and dirty dead mans shoes." The song has so many great lyrics, but my favorite is "You drink yourself insensitive, and hate yourself in the morning." So true, so many times.

Oh, I forgot to mention T.R.O.Y by Pete Rock and CL Smooth in there too, as probably the most touching hip hop song ever, and one of the best stories too. "I reminisce for a spell, or shall I say think back, 22 years ago to keep it on track." CL Smooth was my age when he wrote the greatest hip hop song ever. Prince was my age when he wrote "Dirty Mind." Shit.
Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.
Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

(Howie) Long, Long, Long

The entire FOX NFL team is a bunch of idiot ex jocks who just grunt and make crap predictions. Howie Long can't even tie his shoes, I bet. Hey Howie, you played with players who didn't fake moon the fans, but instead were steroid abusers and cocaine addicts. How is that worse than what Moss did?

Skol Vikings

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck Favre, fuck Green, fuck Lambeau! Yet, the announcers still bitch about Moss joking around in the end zone. And I know why. Its because Moss is considered too "street" for the execs in NYC to handle. Granted, the man does say and do some stupid things, but nothing different than Terrell Owens does. Fuck, Owens called Ray Lewis a murderer and he didn't get the flack that Moss does. And the Sharpie and the dancing in Dallas? How is that different than mooning a bunch of blaze orange wearing townies with Cheddar on their noggins? It was a decisive victory, and hopefully we can steal one at Philly next week.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Pop Goes The World (a.k.a. The Death Of Top 40 Radio)

Why can't it be like the mid 1990s on pop radio? I am so sick of the shit that we are getting today. Back when KDWB was independent, we got decent variety. Its getting to the point that I don't even know the #1 song on the Hot 100. I used to know the majority of the songs in the top 50 without even listening to the radio that much. MTV played videos. This is why downloading is out of control, because the listener has no choice on what to listen to. Shit like the entire G-Unit crew gets shoved down our throat instead of Mos Def or De La Soul. We get Nickelback instead of Ryan Adams or The Shins. Think back to Oasis and Bush, Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Never would have gotten airplay today because they don't fit a small demographic. It has gotten really bad, to the point that I am thinking about joining Christian on the XM Radio bandwagon. I want to hear new music. I want to hear old stuff that I didn't know existed. And I am not going to get that listening to freaking Dave Ryan play Ursher 12 times a day.

A good angry column in this vein can be found on Rhino Records homepage. Here is the address.

A-Ha Shake Heartbreak

Download King Of Leon!! These guys are brilliant!! A group that sounds like the Black Crowes, Johnny Cash and the Clash all rolled into one. I just downloaded A-Ha Shake Heartbreak because it is not out in the US yet, and it fucking rules! I started out with the "Mollys Chambers" single, and then bought "Youth and Young Manhood" album. Download the new album, or songs off of "Youth" like "Trani", "Mollys Chambers" and "California Waiting." Some exciting stuff.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

You Dont Have To Watch Dynasty To Have An Attitude

My dad told me a funny story about going clubbing in the early 1980s tonight. He went to a club with his friend and went up to the DJ to request a song. He said that he requested the Doobie Brothers (his favorite band). His friend yelled at him and said, "Request shit like I did. I requested Mazerati." Who in the fuck requests Mazerati? Or the Doobie Brothers? I guess Prince offshoots were big in the clubs in the early 1980s.

Rise And Fall On The Wings Of My Dreams

I have had this joke idea for a while to turn the 80s TV show "Perfect Strangers" into a musical. I think that it started when I saw that both the actors from the show (Bronson Pinchot and Mark Lynn Baker) were doing off-Broadway at the Orpheum. I already have song concepts worked out. One would be based on each of the main characters catch phrases. "Watch And Learn" would be Cousin Larrys, and "Don't Be Ree-dicolus" would be Balki Bartakamouses song. Christian told me to write to MTV Made to get this one made, and I think it would be funny as hell to see their response to this one. Um, you're not a fat goth chick who wants to be a cheerleader. Sorry. By the way, what the fuck is wrong with you?

You Spin Me Round Like A Record Baby

Here are some other records that I thought deserved mention in 2004:

Ash- Orpheus: This album is Ash at its poppiest. Due to stupid American record companies, this didn't see the light of day here. It was well worth the $30 bucks that I paid for it. "Starcrossed" is one of the best Ash ballads.

The Streets- A Grand Don't Come For Free: The second best concept album of 2004. The story unfolds like a cheesy gangster movie without the murder, and the vocals are downright whiny. Yet, it is super compelling. "Dry Your Eyes" is the most unexpected song of the year, a tender ballad from a man who says, "You're maybe a 9.5 in 4 beers time."

Handsome Boy Modelling School- White People: I found this album everything I wanted in a producer driven album. The blend of artists was spectacular, and "If It Wasn't For You" was a great flashback to De La Soul's heyday. And Franz Ferdinand continues its domination of the world with "A World Gone Mad."

Ben Kweller- On My Way: The first Ben Kweller album is a classic, and "On My Way" delves deeper into his country roots. Also, he has been chillin with Kings of Leon, who take swamp rock in a whole new direction, and it shows on this one. But it is the ballads like "On My Way" and "You Found Me" make this one a classic.

Monday, January 03, 2005

You're 16, You're Beautiful. And You're Mine

Did Ringo ever sing anything with substance? I have decided wallowing in my dorkdom is the most soul satisfying thing to be had. I have put on my jammies every night after work for the last two weeks and played PS2 and watched DVDs. I am catching up to the rest of the world. And no, I haven't seen all of "The Goonies" yet. I am a lame ass. I suggest the slacker lifestlye to anyone who hasn't experienced it in a while. Do it, do it, do it til you're satisfied.

Anyways, I used my Best Buy cards that I got for Christmas this week to glorious result. I got the 70s Soul Experience boxset from Rhino, and it is fandango. It really surprised me that I knew so many of the songs but didn't know who the artist was. And some of the songs are so out of their element today. The song "Float On" by The Floaters needs to be heard. The singers all say their names and their signs before their verse. It's like, Jake. Sagitarius. Baby, I love you. Weird. Some real hidden gems on there though. I finished the cards off today and got EPMD "Strictly Business" and The Stooges "Raw Power," both of which I have wanted to pick up for a few years. Its sad, but I won't buy a CD most times unless it is used. I feel like I will find it used someday, so pass it up.

You Sent Me. To Toledo. Toledo

The bitch ass Vikes pussy footed their way into the playoffs to face...THE PACKERS!!! The fucking Packers. I thought about it today, and I realized that if I ever had kids and they turned out to be Packer fans, I would disown them. I hate the Packers and everything they stand for (except for community ownership.) I fucking hate Bret Favre and his family tragedy and all that shit. Why is it breaking news if his third cousin dies? If one more announcer gives him an oral hand job, I'm only listening to P.A. for the rest of my life. The most overrated QB in NFL history. My uncles fiance is a Cheesehead and she made him give up his season tickets. Sad, what women can do. I hope to god that we win, due to the fact that I will not hear taunts all offseaon. But Tice is a shitty coach, so I kind of doubt it.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

I Don't Want No Ham And Eggs Cause They're High In Cholesterol

I have noticed lately that there is a part of Maple Grove that smells like a fart. It is located between the Holiday Gas Station and the train tracks on 85th Avenue. This is probably the 10th time it has smelled like a fart recently, and its starting to get pretty gross. Definently a rotten egg thing.