Monday, January 30, 2006

The Atomic Punk

Sorry about the lack of updates, I have been too busy fucking up this game called Guitar Hero I bought for PS2. It comes with these mini guitar controllers that have five fret buttons and a whammy bar (or as Cassandra in Waynes World would say, "A Whammee Bawr"). You get to rock out hard core to songs like "Ace Of Spades" and "More Than A Feeling." It truly is the truth.

This early Spring is fantastic. Spring usually doesn't show up until like June, so this is great. I went to the Wild game Thursday with Quade (Wild won 5-1) and I didn't have to wear a coat over my Wild sweater. It was great, except that it was in Saint Paul, which is what I would expect Milwaukee or Indianapolis to be like at night. Meaning, it was dead and full of fat people.

I also purchased NHL 2K6 and I have been dominating the NHL with the Flames. Not that anyone cares.

My pick for the Super Bowl is the Pittsburgh Steelers over Seattle, 31-17. I am pretty sure that the city of Pittsburgh needs something like this, seeing as how they have no industry and the Penguins are leaving and the Pirates suck. Plus, the Seahawks are always disappointing, I hate Mike Holmgren more than pretty much anything, and I like Bill Cowher's coaching. And the ladies think that Big Ben is hot I guess.

I found a pizza restaurant near the Northtown Starbucks called Umbria that is right up there with Luce in goodness. Oh my God, this was fantastic. All the sudden at work one day, this big Eastern European guy comes in, orders a double espresso, then casually tosses these menus for the place down. I looked at the pics and ingredient list and had to have it. I had the spinach and feta and something called the DaVinci, which had homemade sausage and meatballs and red onions. They give you some sort of gyro sauce to dip the pizza in instead of ranch, and it truly was a mouthgasm. I will be ordering in again next time I close.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

If I Could Walk On Water, If I Could Find Some Way To Prove...

First two days of school are long and draining. I tried to go for a sunup to sundown fast today, but the egg kolache at Kolache Factory in Brookdale proved my undoing. I am trying to live a little bit healthier, but when Old Chicago calls (as it did last night), I have to be seduced. And all this sitting here, 10-8, after working in the morning doesn't help the need for the occasional bagel or burger. Anyways...

Forgot to mention my honorable mentions for 2005 albums. As I am at school, I cannot do this tonight. I can name a few that I bought too late in 2005 to totally digest before the review (but I still liked a lot). They would be My Morning Jacket and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. They both kicked some serious ass.

I am borderline retarded for the 99-cent Bean and Cheesy Rice Burrito at Taco Bell. I used to make something exactly like this when I worked there, and I wish I would have suggested it to corperate back then. Working at Taco Bell fucking sucked. I worked with over 100 people (by my count) in a two year span because the turnover was so high. It was fun working with a 14-year old Steve Louwerse and Kyle Olson and Mike Gale though. We used to make Slurpees out of the soda in the walk-in and play music all the time because our manager was always strung out on blow. One time our shift went out to smoke up in his car with two other employees, leaving me and Kyle alone in the store during the middle of a rush. Our only way to get revenge was to put Chilitos underneath the celing tiles in the managers office. Ah, youth.

My Bitchfag of the week goes out to the douche working at Cheapo last night who wouldn't let me use a travellers checque. Fucker cost me the Moby Grape CD for six bucks. Hey, brah, quit hitting on the jailbait Goth chick and look at the damn check.

I'm thinking about going to either Vegas or Nashville for spring break (mid- March). Anyone who is down, let me know. My Spring Break is the 13th through the 18th. All I can say is that I am scared shitless to fly. The first and only time I flew I horked into a sick bag after I accidentally ate the parsley.

Oh, and I am in love with Carrie Underwood from American Idol. My good Lord, does that chick fill out a Resees Pieces top or what?

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

2005 Albums of the Year

2005 was a pretty good year for music, as long as you didn't listen to top 40 radio. Then, it was all stuff like "Wait til you see my dick, bitch" and "I'll take you to the candy shop, I'll let you lick the lollypop." 2005 was the year of the dick in pop music, I guess. Gay. Anyways, here is a few of my favorite albums and singles of the last year.

Common "Go"- I approached this one carefully after the hogepodge of mediocrity that was "Electric Circus." "Go" came out swinging like Sugar Ray Lenoard to "Circus" Fat George Foreman. Kanye made some classic beats while Common throws out classic lines about being more faithful than Eric Benet. And "The Food" comes out of nowhere to be the first "live" cut on a rap CD in, well, the first that I can remember.

Shout Out Louds "Howl Howl Gaff Gaff"- The Swedish Cars. Synths, girly lyrics that very obviously were written by ESL dudes. A bassist that smelled like rock and roll and had a creepy beard. "Very Loud" wasn't, but who the hell cares when it kicks so much ass?

LCD Soundsystem- Ass shaking one minute, Beatles ripoff the next. A Daft Punk houseparty would have been the shit in, like, 1998. This was labled techno, dance and a whole lot of other stuff, but I call it rock. Mainly because of the copious amounts of cowbell.

New Pornographers "Twin Cinema"- Lord almighty, do I love power pop. I really dig the guy singing one minute, the country chick singing the next. I am not really sure what "listening to long to one song/Sing me Spanish techno" means but I like it.

Bloc Party "Silent Alarm"- This one sounds like "Boys Don't Cry" crossed with...well, it really just is straight up Cure. But the Cure if Robert Smith wasn't fat, and he was black. And I'm pretty sure that the lead singer would be cooler than Robert Smith, who is pretty damn rad in my book. A punky good time, with rave-ups and icy ballads.

White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"- I listened to this and was all, "Holy Hell, this is a little different than the other four." Then I realized that they took lounge pop and rocked the hell out of it. It sounds like some twisted 60s Phil Spector nightmare. And the cover kicks ass, mainly because Jack White looks like a gay movie cowboy, predating "Brokeback Mountain" by like six months.

Brendan Benson "The Alternative To Love"- A work of power pop genius. I still am totally unsure of what Jack White sees in this dude. I too, am forever in search of the alternative to love. And "Spit It Out" will be considered a classic in five years, I guarantee.

Beck "Guero"- Nothing this man does is boring. This one rocked like "Odelay" and in many ways trumps it. The singles are not up to that albums classics ("Girl" may be), but the whole album seems to flow better. "Missing" is an all time classic.

Lyrics Born "Same Shit, Different Day"- A remix album of the classic "Later That Day." Nuff said. Oh wait. "I Changed My Mind" is on it too. There is no justice until Lyrics Born hits the mainstream.

Spoon "Gimmie Fiction"- Something about this is just cool. The album cover looks like a 50s photo shoot, and the music is straight up indie pop. "Sister Jack" was so bomb that it was in "Wedding Crashers" and "I Turn My Camera On" is a creepy funk jam. And there is a song about Dungeons and Dragons I think also.

Franz Ferdinand "You Could Have It So Much Better"- The ambiguously gay party sluts go all straight and sing pretty ballads about their girlfriends on top of their songs about gay hookups. Yes, I believe you now. You truly are the new Scottish Gentry.

Magic Numbers- What the Mamas and the Papas would be if they came out now and kind of quasi rocked the folk jams.

The TOP 2 Albums of 2005:

RUNNER UP: The Hold Steady "Seperation Sunday"- A great bar band telling stories about Stillwater, South Minneapolis and...OSSEO? Freaking Osseo? On a national album? Hood rats going straight? I can't believe this turned out to be so damn amazing. It vibes with what I heard from Peter Harold Quist about the early 90s in Minneapolis. The homeless kids camped out for the buses, and City Center was the center but no one goes there now. A "Born To Run" for the new century.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Kings Of Leon "Aha Shake Heartbreak- This album kicked my ass twelve ways to Sunday. Southern decadence crossed with gutter punk mentality. The best live show of the year, maybe the best ever. "The Bucket" becoming an anthem. Gods? I know this.

SINGLES OF THE YEAR: 2005 had to be the worst year for pop singles in a long time. So most of these are rock songs. Thanks to Jeff Hill for introducing me to about half of the new music I heard last year.

"Plays The Hits" HAL- The Beach Boys outdone. Summer in three and a half minutes.

"I Predict A Riot" Kaiser Chiefs- Britpop lives! What the hell is getting "Larried" exactly?

"Hounds Of Love" The Futureheads- A remake of a fucking Kate Bush song by dudes who really dig on the Jam. Awesome.

"Gold Digger" Kanye West- Can I say anything that hasn't been said about this one? Oh yeah, I hate Ray Charles.

"Spit It Out" Brendan Benson- Jack Whites BFF jamming on his relationship issues.

"Do You Want To?" Franz Ferndinand- Most poncy since Bowie sang about the church of man, love.

"Girl" Beck- Another summer jam. And I think its about killing your lady or stealing her eyes or something like that.

"Daft Punk Is Playing in My House" LCD Soundsystem- Dude, I think that you were the only person waiting for Daft Punk to play your house. Still kickass.

"The Bucket" Kings Of Leon- 18, balding. Obviously Kate Moss didn't care, as she still did coke with you guys.

"Banquet" Bloc Party- The line "I'm on fire when you come" is just so filthy.

"Rebellion (Lies)" Arcade Fire- A jam that, unfortunately, got way too hyped by indie fucktards.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Don'tcha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Raw Like Me?

I woke up from my nappy poo today to find out that my brother had bought the NewsRadio DVD set! I am so pumped. I used to watch NewsRadio every time that it was on while I was in middle school. They moved the damn show around so much that I couldn't follow it sometimes. I quit watching it though after Phil Hartman died and Jon Lovitz took over. That bastard, his best role was on The Critic. I can't believe how different the pilot was. The handyman wasn't Joe, and it was shot all dark and dank. And it's weird that the old news director was played by Russell from Wayne's World. And Lisas cute, even though she is wearing something like a maternity jumper in the first episode. What a crush I had on her...

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

So This Is The New Year? And I Don't Feel Any Different

300 posts! Nice, if I don't say so myself. Anyways, 2006 is upon me, and I have high hopes. I have no desire to relive 2005. I had some good times, but overall, I didn't like the vibe that I got from 2005. I just didn't have as much fun as the year prior. This year is going to be sweet because even numbered years are so much better than odd numbered. 1984 was an even numbered year, and I think that it was the best year ever. Come on, Gremlins, Ghostbusters, Purple Rain, Van Halen, The Replacements "Let It Be," The L.A. Olympics, and more! I also have a fond spot for 1988, 1992, 1994, 1996, and 2004. For some reason, they just seem better.

My New Year's Eve was pretty fun. I went over to Nate and Jeff's pad for a bash, but I was pretty sick the whole previous week (I even went and got tested for mono on NYE at around 4. Thank god it was negative) and I couldn't get very out of control. It was still fun, except for the douche bags who kept starting somethin' and some heroin addict looking dude who called me "Charlie."

As for the whole year, I don't have any long-term resolutions. I am going to cut out the fast food somewhat, and probably be nicer to people. These will only probably last a week or two, but hey.