Friday, October 27, 2006

The McRib Is Back, And You Know It Will Never Ever Be Whack

THE McFUCKING RIB IS BACK!! The most glorious words ever typed! My day started off really shitty (I had a quiz that I was late to because of an accident in the Lowry Tunnel) but quickly turned when I happened upon the Dinkytown McDonalds. Out front a huge banner prophisized it: THE McRIB IS BACK! Oh shit, my mind was made up for lunch. The only question was this: do I eat two or three? Well, I went with two and guess what? MOUTHGASM! That's right, they are just as good as I remember them.

My joy is tempered with the sadness that will occur when McRib decides to go back to the limited time retirement home (along with OOPS! All Berries and Gingerbread Lattes). I can only wait for McRib's triumphant return next year around this time. Until then, I will continue to eat the shit out of McRib.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I Don't Want Your Love To Bring Me Down

I have been listening to these late 70s and 80s airchecks for KDWB and WLOL lately. This stuff is priceless. Both stations were playing MC Hammer weekend tickets, and one had a KDWB Top Eight at Eight with the following (im assuming winter of '90, by the songs)
#8-"So Close" Hall and Oates (Produced by Bon Jovi!)-Never Heard this one
#7 "Unskinny Bop" Poison
#6 "Freedom '90" George Michael
#5 "Ice Ice Baby" Vanilla Ice
#4"Blaze Of Glory" Jon Bon Jovi
#3 Wasnt Listed
#2 "U Can't Touch This-MC Hammer
#1 "Cradle Of Love" Billy Idol

They also gave away tickets to the MC Hammer concert, called it mint, then followed it up with "I'll Remember You" by Skid Row. There was an ad for a shopping spree at Rosedale where you could shop at Carson's, Wards or Dayton's. All the station played was pop rap and hair metal. What times. I remember sitting in my basement and playing this shit on my clock radio when I made couch forts. Don't even front on the couch fort. Hell, I'd still make a couch fort today if it were socially acceptable.

I remember when "Mr.Wendal" by Arrested Development was on the Top Eight at Eight, and also that song by Mariah Careys backup singer (Pretty sure it was a remake of "Just To Be Close To You"). My mom was a huge WLOL fan, and she got really upset when it went off the air in '91. I think she listened to Steve Cochran in the mornings on KDWB though.

One of the WLOL ones is from 1985 and they hype Huey, Katrina and the Waves, "Rock and Roll Girls" (and its B-Side "Centerfield") by John Fogerty, and "The Authority Song" by Johnny Cougar. What was also weird was that they played "Young Americans" by Bowie (came out in 1975)and "Trapped" by Bruce Springsteen (which I remember hearing a lot, but was never a single). Even "Paisley Park" by Prince got played. They brought up the WLOL bumper stickers you could pick up at 7 Eleven or Photomat. We had two on our Cordoba back in the day because I used to think the WLOL van was going to give us $99.50

I also found some old radio broadcasts from a FM station called U 101 that played top 40 from 74 to 76. They bumped so much Zeppelin, it was freaking ridiculous. They also shit talked Fridley and Gerald Ford. Really good shit.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

And We Began To Rock, Steady. Steady Rockin' All Night Long.

I was looking at a chart that tells what the most played songs currently on rock radio are (at least for older songs) and two Sublime songs (Santeria and What I Got) were among the top 20, along with Self Esteem by Offspring and Song 2 by Blur. I don't know exactly what my point is, but come on, didn't we get enough of these songs at every party in 8th and 9th grade? Or while playing Twisted Metal 2 fucked up on Mountain Dew or Brain Wash (btw, Bobby and Steves sells Brain Wash still. I couldn't bring myself back ten years to buy a bottle)?

I wonder if rock radio will be playing that bullshit Hinder song in ten years? I read an interview with their d-bag lead singer who was mad that OK Go played the VMAs and they were only moving "4,000 units while Hinder was moving 16K." He also said that playing the Girls Gone Wild tour was awesome (duh) because there were chicks "69ing and shit." Wow. Now go and watch No Direction Home to see how a real rock star talks. Oh yeah, I wonder if he's pissed that a 65 year old man sold 300K his first week out (Dylan), and then an EIGHTY YEAR OLD Tony Bennett moved over 100K. I hate Tony Bennett, but damn. Just goes to show that the only people who still buy music in droves are the boomer generation, and the greatest generation of our grandparents.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Tower Records Closing

So I guess all the Tower Records are closing. Thank God that MPLS has the Cheapo chain to bank on and we never got a major national record chain here. Well, we did have Musicland/Sam Goody, but even those two were owned by Minnesota companies. I can see why Tower is closing, due to the fact that nobody wants to buy $19 dollar CDs when they can get them at Target or Best Buy for $15 tops. Tower did have some deals, though. I went to one in Chicago a few months ago and got Love "Forever Changes" and The Kinks "Lola" for a total of 16 bucks. And they had a pretty kickass import section. Oh well, the only way I riot is if we lose CDs at major retailers and have to start buying this online bullshit. I'm sorry, but I enjoy physical product (artwork, liner notes, stickers, etc.) This "little picture on the screen" bullshit that Apple feeds us ain't going to cut it.

Monday, October 09, 2006


So here I am, deep in the basement of Coffman Union, not wanting to type a German essay because I should have graduated this semester (goddamn CLA Language requirement). Oh well. I don't know if I have addressed the shittiness of the Twins postseason play yet, but here it is. We sucked. Really fucking bad. I cried at work on Friday watching the game. I really, truly believed that this was the YEAR, that the 06 squad was the team of destiny. How freaking wrong I was, I guess. The worst part of the playoffs so far was not the loss, but the fact that I cannot hate the A's. They seem like a bunch of dudes I would like to get plastered with. The best part is that the Yanks lost. That made me happy enough to almost forget the Twins loss. Here are my amatuer picks for the rest of the playoffs:

Tigers over A's in 6
The Tigers have more veteran leadership (Pudge, Odornez) and a pitching staff that held the Yankees (As good as Murderer's Row? BULLSHIT) to under 10 runs in a four game series. The A's have the Big Hurt and two starters with practically same name. And Zito got really lucky.

Mets over Cardinals in 5
The Cardinals have a rep for choking harder than Mama Cass. Well guess what? Ain't stopping this year. I don't see what the big deal with Chris Carpenter is, and Albert is not going to add up to Delgado, Wright and Beltran. The Mets made LA look like the choking bitches that they were, and they will do the same to STL.

Mets in 6
This is the real team of destiny. The Mets beat the Tigers in every offensive category, and the young Tigers pitching staff is going to have to meltdown eventually. Plus, I don't want to see the depressed craphole of Detroit riot again. Go Mets!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I Was Dusted In The Dark Up In Penetration Park I Was Plastered

The Hold Steady is the best thing ever. Seriously, ever. Their album "Seperation Sunday" was my #2 album of 2005, and their new one "Boys and Girls in America" is even better. One could even say it is the gangsta shit. Instead of telling a story and letting his boys play like the most kickass bar band ever, Craig Finn actually sings on the new album. And the songs are kickass, and not only because they describe the Minneapolis metro in detail (See Map)

it's also because they tell a story. Most songwriters don't do that anymore, unless asking if yo chain hang low counts. No songwriter is willing to write like Bruce or Bob, and thats a damn shame. Craig Finn writes like our lives. He goes out, his friends use/drink too much, he drinks too much, he knows fucked up girls who claim they can do better. He gets stuck out in Osseo at a shitty party. Hell, we've all been there. Its the human experience, and dude fucking NAILS it. And he starts off a song singing about the mall I work at. Pretty sweet.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Kick, Push, Kick, Push...Coast

The Twins offer the most heartbreak ever. Sweet mother of Jesus, why can't they just get a friggin win? Oh well, it was a magical season so far, and if any one team can come back from 2-0, its them.

I had some minor surgery today (I had a cyst on my chin, for those who are interested) and it went relatively well. I'm kind of Lupe right now due to taking some sort of pain pill, which I usually hate. But the surgeon didn't think that it was cancerous or anything, so I'm happy.

I was also happy yesterday when I bought four new CDs (Jet, Hold Steady, Beck and the Killers) for about $40. I also should have picked up Sleepy Brown and the Decemberists. I can't remember there being a better release day for CDs, except when Weezers green album came out senior year. I also think Tool came out that day, but it was Lateralus, which kind of blew. Those two CDs were the first things I ever bought with my credit card.

The WWE channel is the truth. Hopefully they will be posting a new episode of Monday Night Wars soon, so I can watch the NwO form again along with Farooq wrestling in a rubber helmet.