Tuesday, October 26, 2004

That Blue Eyed Girl Turned Blue Eyed Whore

Whoa! For some reason I was looking at Buddyhead's gossip page ( www.buddyhead.com/gossip) and there was a picture of PJ Harvey's crotch. What the hell, its not everyday that you get to see a musicians bits. Chicks got some balls to go onstage with no underwear and a skirt. When is Liz Phair gonna do this? Oh, and Peter Harold is gonna go apeshit for this picture.

Quasi Homosexuals Be Runnin This Rap Shit

The new Mos Def album is quite an interesting work. I was expecting something completely different when I picked it up. I was shocked that the albums first half is hard rock. I knew of Black Jack Johnson, but I thought that it was just a live act. I should of known something by the cover of the CD. What a disturbing image. Seriously, nothing that could be contained in that cover would be straightforward. I like the fact that the album sounds rough, almost like a demo more than a finished product. Usually, I am not a fan of long albums, but if the album is a sloppy joyride then I am more open to it. "The White Album" and "Sign Of The Times" are two that don't follow any given formula and do not get boring. After the first listen, I really appreciate that "The New Danger" was conceived in the same vein. Sure, it may be unfocused (especially on the rock songs) and overly long, but at least he went out there and tried something new. I hate that modern music has had relatively little to offer lately. And "Modern Marvel" is truly a great song, and "Sex, Drugs and Money" is pretty good also. So the experimentation paid off in some areas. Fuck most of the negative reviews that the album has gotten. Like I said before, I would rather have an unfocused sloppy album with some great songs than anything by Nelly or Chingy or those other Phony Rappers.

I Don't Go To Sleep To Dream

School today was probably the weirdest ever. I slept for three hours in Coffman Union, which is a personal record. Then, as I was leaving the bathroom, I saw the author Garrison Keelior standing by the elevator. He looked like a broke ass Forrest Gump. He had on a cheap gray suit and a pair of red Reebok Classics. It's funny that a nationally known author rocks the same shoes as Jeff Hill.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Take Me Home Tonight

HOLY SHIT! FOX just played "I Think I'm In Love" by Eddie Money as Larry Walkers enterance music for the 3rd inning of Game 2. Im really pumped!! Just like the title of my Bowflex post from last week.

Work All Day For Some Old Man, You Sweat And Break Your Back

Last night I went to Team America, and I laughed so hard that I was crying at many points. The action movie song parodies are the hilarious, and the dialogue is great. I can't believe that they got away with so many gay sex references. Work today was horseshit. Some guy took offense on how I was helping another customer and then told me it was "first come, first served bud" all passive aggressively. The worst part was that he was all dressed up and whatnot like he just came from church. Ah, it seems like we have a hypoticritical Sunday Christian I thought. The best kind. It is so funny when I get shit on by customers. It's like, they cannot afford paid help to verbally belittle at home, so they come and lay into people at a service job. I do not go to this assholes job and shit on his copying or memo-ing skills or comment on how well he fucks his secretary. I also hate when parents come in and yell at their kids in front of us. It's so lame. Save it for the car, and remember, passive aggressive talk to kids just makes them think that you are a retard. Trust me, my mother did it when I was young.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Thanks For The Killer Game Of Crisco Twister

Funny goings on last night. Jeff hid my shoes and then proceeded to call everyone a "shit talking motherfucker." Then Cody Stevens showed up for a total of 5 minutes and then made an early exit once again. I also had a heated political discussion with some Conservative guy for like a half an hour. Finally went to bed at 4 and then slept until 12:30. I was so friggin tired yesterday I was falling asleep at work.

I also went and saw "I (Heart) Huckabees" last night. It was quite funny, a little pretentious though. It contains probably the worst sex scene I have ever seen in a movie between Jason Schwartzmann and some 50 year old woman in the forest.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Oooooh, Something's Got A Hold On Me Now

Oh 50 Year-Old Bowflex woman, I think that I am in love with you. If I could meet you, I'd ask you what your favorite book was. I bet it would be "A Tale Of Two Cities". Your favorite food would be butternut squash, and you would love to watch football on Sundays in the nude. I bet you speak Italian or French. Goodnight, sweet princess. I will be waiting.

Darlin Won't You Ease My Worried Mind?

How did Rod Stewart and Eric Clapton go from being rock gods to pussies over the course of 15 years? Rod's solo and the Faces were very very good unitl like 1975, then shit like "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" Claptons worse. Cream to meddiling shit like "I Shot The Sherrif" and that "Layla" cover from MTV Unplugged. "Change The World"? Come on. Why do artists mail it in after a while? I don't get it.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

What Up Blood, What Up Cuz, What Up GANG-STAH?!

Just got done with a rousing game of 'nis at Northwest Athletic Club, which I beat Nick Miller 1 set to none, because we both sucked and didn't play a very good game. It was quite fun, and I can't wait to go back next week. It costs $25 to rent a court, though. A little spendy, but most worth it.

So Take A Look At Me Now, I'm Just An Empty Face (Not The Phil Collins Version)

Whats with all the intrigue and cloak and dagger on the blogs lately? Random Cody hate on my site, random gay hate on Christians, and lack of updates on most others. This annonymous stuff should be left to the book "Primary Colors". Worked was lame, it seemed to drag on and on and on. Oh well, I had the "Left of the Dial" boxset to come home to. Eightys college rock is so hot, I love it!!! "No Thanks" and "Nuggets" are also great. I love Rhino Records more than any other label, their re-releases and comps are like no other. My brother Zach is all pumped because he is buying an IPod soon, so hes downloaded 100 songs in the last 10 hours to "prepare". I think that I would kill for an IPod. So sexxxxxy. In other news, I am failing Biology. I think that I should be studying, but fuck it, who cares?

Sunday, October 17, 2004

I Can Feel St. Elmo's Fire Burning In Me

What to watch, a Richard Pryor comedy special on Comedy Central (uncensored) or "The 40 Most Awesomely Bad Filthy Songs" on VH1? Flippin back and forth right now. The Pryor shit is really funny. True stuff about sex and stuff. 19-8, what the hell? It's over, no chance in hell. The Yankees will win tomorrow at Fenway, which will kill all Red Sox fans. I also lost to Nick at 2K5, ending my nice little streak. That bastard. Went to Main Street Grill in M.G. It was pretty decent, kinda like a Ground Round (which used to be there). Then Jeff and I went to Cheapo and for once he found nothing. I found the first Marvelous 3 album, which was so damn hard to find. I also bought my sweetie the Pure Country soundtrack. By sweetie, I mean the only other person who liked it, being B.J. The South Park with the Jackoffasaur is on, and I've never seen it, so I've got to see it.

Friday, October 15, 2004

The Politics Of Dancing(Uh Huh),The Politics Of Mmmmmm Feeling Good

Thanks to my brother Zach for alerting me to two awesome bumper stickers that he saw today. One said, "Help Re-Defeat Bush '04" and the other said, "When Clinton Lied, No One Died". Where are the funny Republican stickers? The worst one I heard of was "Flush The Johns". I think that they can do better.

Freddy's Dead, That's What I Said

Saw Curtis Mayfield at Benchwarmer Bob's mackin on some loud chick who said she likes to watch porn. I thought he died in 2000, but there he was, jean jacket and granny glasses blinging. And to a certain Christian R. Abrahamson, Jeff Hill swears he saw you interviewed on WWF Sunday Night Heat back in the day. He says that someone asked you who was going to win the title at Summerslam. Is this true? And do you have the tape?

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Our Presidents a Bush and The Vice Presidents a Dick, So A Whole Lotta Fuckin Is What We Gonna Get

I went to a meeting for work tonight, and I guess that we also have to clean the track lighting and the awnings in addition to making coffee. That is lame. I also got a text from some random email address saying "damn yankees" and asking how my morning was. I told the person that they had the wrong number, and they questioned me on it. It would be sweet if I had a stalker, especially if it were a random hot chick. Oh, and FUCK THE YANKEES just one more time. Just what I want to see, a Yanks-Cards series.

One more thing, my neighbor always puts out these crosses in his front yard saying who has died the year before around Haloween. They are always kind of political, as he is a die hard Republican. This year, he put a John Kerry cross out next to a Bush-Cheney '04 sign. Some awesome hooligan knocked all the crosses over last night. Now there is a sign in his yard saying that the premesis are monitored by security cam. What a dick. I hope the FBI sees the Kerry cross and hauls him off to jail for terroristic threats.

He's Just A Little Tease, He's A Femme Fatale

So I guess "John The Femme" and David Guest think that everyone at the Farm calls me "Fat Jake". Little gay fucking know it all. Don't you hate it when the childern act up? Someone needs to tell A.J. that Jackass was played out in 2001 and that "Buick LeSabre" is fucking queer. I don't know whats worse, being stared at by fat desperate Maple Grove housewives or listening to the fucking Farmers talk about the motor specs on their broke ass cars. At least I don't try to supe up my bitch car (T excluded, his car isn't an Contour or a Saab.) Seriously, I honestly think that A.J. and John are walking the hollowed ground stomped on by Sam Schmitt. They are that bad. Sure, we grabbed each others asses and swung tampons over our heads and surfed on cars, but at least we did it with panache and wit. Nothing these two newbies does has any intellegence behind it. I'm sure we looked ridiculous doing the shit we did, but we never just said random shit about the older crew that we weren't friends with. The worst part was I was nice to that little fag and have given AJ the benefit of the doubt many a time. Never again. At least the Brians and Anthony are cool. Dave's kid even seems nicer than AJ and John. And A.J needs to also stop talking shit about him too. I heard him say, "Heh, I'm not short stuff anymore" right in front of the kid. What a shit.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Stop, Hey. Whats That Sound?

Jack Van Impe=Hilarity. He just quotes random (possibly made up) bible verses to back ideas like pets in heaven and the world ending. His wife is a cross between a Barbie Doll and a Corpse. Just great late night TV. I would also like to put it on record that I would like to bone that 50 year old Bowflex chick. I want her to be my personal trainer. No way that POA is 50.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Your Rap Style Is Older Than A Chrysler Cordoba

I will admit it. I love the album "Faith" by George Michael. I don't know why. I just really love that closet homosexual who came out to a cop. Also bought the new Cure and an old XTC album tonight. The RTP (a.k.a the Russian Tea Party) showed up at Starbucks tonight. Let me explain the RTP to you. A bunch of horny Cossack teens come in every Sunday night fifteen minutes before close and order lots of shit, then try to get free drinks or at least a discount. They chew, smoke and harass us. I am not sure why they chose tonight instead of last night. Maybe it was the anniversary of Lenin's death or some holiday commerating how Katherine the Great fucked a horse. The only reason that they come in is because my assistant manager likes them because they are a church group. I'm pretty sure that they have ties to the mafia, because they all bank like motherfuckers. Its so funny, the girls are all butterfaces and the boys sit on one side of the store and don't talk to them. There was one non Russkie with them and it made me think about the churchies. Fucking jean jackets. Funny shit. I am so pissed that I can't afford "Left Of The Dial" tomorrow that I may cry. Also, I work for eight and a half hours with the district manager. She just asks us by the book questions and shit like that. I hate it. But, if I want to become a shift soon, I gotta kiss her ass.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Jerry Was A Race Car Driver, He Drove So God Damn Fast

I bought CDs last night because I was depressed. I have so many discs these days, I bought based on wether or not I thought I would be interested. I bought "Sweetheart Of The Rodeo" by The Byrds because I have been intrigued by Gram Parsons for some time now. I also brought "The Decline of British Sea Power" by British Sea Power because it is on Rough Trade and I have heard bands that I like compared to them. I dig both CDs and for six bucks each, it wasn't bad at all.

This Is The End, The End Of The Innocence

Last night sucked. The End. At least my second favorite team is still in it against the Yanks. They can die, I hate everything about them. Their "stoopid" fans, their (Insert Name Here) Sucks chants, their shit hole stadium pretending its got half the charm of Wrigley or even Fenway. Steinbrenner. How Jeter is the most overrated player ever to lace up spikes. How Rivera is so domminant because of mystique. Fuck em.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Politics As Usual

I am very excited that there is a political discourse going on between all the farmers and their outside friends. It doesn't matter that we have differences in opinion, what counts is that we are actually TALKING about something that matters, something that could change all our lives. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, what matters is that you have an opinion and you voice it. Politics is all about discourse.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

I Fought The Law And The Law Won.

Interesting goings on at Starbucks today. I saw some guy run through drive-thru today around 3:30. The Maple Grove police called our store two minutes later, and said they were prusuing this guy. They found him in Poppa John's after blocking off a part of our parking lot with squads. So weird.
The debates last night were interesting. I watched the whole thing, and it made me hate Bush even more. He looked like that asshole guy in high school that you just wanna nail in the face. What really pissed me off was when he said, "I don't think about Kerry winning. I think I'm gonna win." What a cocksure prick. Kerry obviously won, but doesn't matter because there will always be holier than thou assholes and Born Agains to vote for whatever peanuts the Elephant coughs up. And quit invoking how the war will be won, Dubbya. It's going to bite you in the ass eventually.