Thursday, May 29, 2008

I'll Have The Kobe Beef

Here's something you'd never hear (well, I guess SEE) me say: I am fucking amped that the Lakers won the conference title. I'm sporting leather I'm so aroused. You see, this is how I root. It may be sick, some may say deviant, but if I hate one team more than the other, I will root for the lesser of two evils. It is kind of how some choose their president. In a normal, day to day situation, I would hate the L.A. Lakers (but deeply respect the games of Kobe and Pau Gasol). But seeing as how they are playing the San Antonio Spurs (who I would rather see perish in a plane crash than ever flippidy flop all over an arena again) I will cheer the Lakers onto sweet victory.

This isn't a new thing. When I was an impressionable teen, I rooted for the 1996 Yankees to beat the shit out of the Atlanta Braves, mainly because I was being a good Minnesotan (if you were of school age in the fall of '91, you know what I'm talking about). Yet the year before I cheered those same Braves onto a World Series victory over the Indians (who beat my beloved at the time Seattle Mariners in the ALCS).

The only time this hasn't really worked out was during the 2002 World Series. The Angels beat the shit out of the Twins in the ALCS, yet I wanted them to win the Series bad. Why you ask (if your still reading)? Barry Bonds was playing for the Giants, and I don't know a single person outside of San Fransisco proper who wanted the Giants to win that title due to that punkin headed fucknut.

I guess the rule is always go for the lesser of two evils. Maybe that is also why I prefer Pepsi to Coke

Monday, May 26, 2008

Forgive and Forget You

Nice little Memorial Day weekend we had here. Or at least I thought it was. It rained in New Brighton for a total of 10 minutes yesterday, but we heard a bunch of sirens and figured it was just because there was a tornado watch. Well, picking up the paper today and seeing that tornadoes touched down only a few miles away was quite a shock. Shit, the storm didn't even really interrupt our lawn dart game or the grilling. Global warming is sure odd.

I went and saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" today and thought it was one hell of a funny movie. It also didn't hurt that the female leads were oh-so-pretty (I never thought I'd see Jackie from That 70s Show topless). The previews were pretty interesting also. I kind of want to see the stoner/action hero movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco, and never will see "The Incredible Hulk" if I live to be 100.

Otherwise, nothing else really. Boof Bonser sucks ass at facing MLB hitters, I'm pumped about softball tomorrow and the only CD that comes out tomorrow is a re-release of the fucking Dutchess by Fergie Ferg. Goodnight.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Wear My Ring Around Your Neck

I hate the San Antonio Spurs. I think that I have gone over this before, but I think that the topic needs to be re-addressed. I'm going to have some real conversation on how much I hate the U.N. of Roundball that plays in South Texas.

First off, their uniforms. What the fuck? They look like a black and white movie, and they totally sum up what the team is: uncolorful. I'm supposed to believe that Manu, Tony and The Big Yawn Tim are all superstars, but I can't. There is nothing interesting about any of them other than they are not from the U.S.

Second, I hate the way they flop like "Walk Hard". When did the NBA become an offshoot of FIFA? The slightest bump sends Balki Bartakamous (aka Manu) across the floor. And they whine like a newborn whenever they don't get a call. Come on ladies, be mannish like Lebron.

Finally, I hate that they are so good. They have been contenders for, what, like 15 years now? 20? They went to the conference finals for the first time in this run in the mid-90s, before the widespread use of the Internet. In my lifetime, they have made the conference finals SEVEN FUCKING TIMES! The Wolves have made the playoffs eight times total. God, this is depressing. I am just going to quit

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Old Man Take A Look At My Life. I'm A Lot Like You Were

I found this link on OkayPlayer tonight. It made me feel really freaking old, seeing as how I was a junior in high school when this stuff came out. Not only that, but I was a shift supervisor at T-Bell and listened to most of these songs incessantly on KDWB, 93X and Rock 100. I don't know what's more depressing, that I owned the CD single for "Kiss Me" or that next year I will be in my 5th year of lower level management (thank God for that break at the Farm where I sucked as an employee and didn't make a mark). Anyways...

In other music news, I downloaded the new Cure single. It sounds like it could have been on "The Head On The Door" or "Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me" which means its poppy and wonderfully, wonderfully pretty. The new Weezer single "Pork and Beans" kicks some old school Weezer ass also.

I'm thinking "Pork and Beans" will be a big "summer single". We haven't had one of those in quite a while (last year it was "I'm a Flirt" and "Wouldn't Get Far" for me, "Umbrella" by sexy fivehead Rihanna for the rest of the globe). I'm also pulling for "Mercy" by Duffy, because it is so fucking weird and British and sounds like 1965. Oh, and New Kids On The Block have a single out called "Summertime" that should get airplay, because NKOTB is highly ironic and the song has summer in the title. Of course, "Birthday Girl" by the Roots would have already gone to #1 in a perfect world, but Hillary is still in the race and the Spurs are still not eliminated, so we have to settle for bumping the illegal download.

Monday, May 12, 2008

My Girl Wants To Party All The Time Party All The Time Par-tay All The Time

Long time no write. Nothing all that monumental has been going on. For starters, The Nature Boys softball season has started, and we are a predictable 1-3. This is fine with me, as I only play for the love of the game. One benefit of this season is I seem to be hitting better. Last years hitting was more ridiculous than the time Balki brought two blondes home for himself and none for Couseen Larry. Another benny is that our uniforms are sexy as all hell. I love the royal blue/yellow combo, and the hats that say "WHOOOO!" are amazing. Hopefully we can take a few more games, but if not, I'm still having an assload of fun.

Oh, and Nate's birthday BBQ/keg party was a huge success. We had a real good turn out, and everyone got really drunk (not to mention well fed on kabob). The highlight had to be Chico passed out on my bathroom floor, yelling, "bet you never thought you'd see me here!" and then someone saying "I think your friend is dead in the bathroom." Ah yes, the things tequila can do to someone.