Sunday, December 16, 2007

She Acts Just Like A Nurse With All The Other Guys

I turned 25 in the ER of North Memorial in Robbinsdale. Happy fucking birthday.

For those who don't know, I woke up at 3:15 on Tuesday with a horrible pain in my head. By horrible, I mean it felt like someone hit me with a book. Plus, my left eye was red and the left side of my head went completely numb. So, logically, I thought I was having some sort of aneurysm or hemorrhage. My mom came and picked me up, and thank God, the worst fears were not realized. This was accomplished by sticking six inch needles in my spine four seperate times and stuffing me into an MRI for 45 minutes.

After all this fun, I got to spend the next three days in the hell that is a hospital.

Turns out, the spinal tap caused spinal fluid to leak into my back and head. What started out as a pain in the head spread from my lower back all the way back up into my head. So basically, I got way fucking worse before I got better. I ate shitty hospital food. I slept, a lot. I got morphine. I watched the Mitchell Report. I puked, a lot. I read a People magazine. I got absolutely no sympathy from one of my bosses, and total sympathy from the other one. Oh, and I didn't shower for 5 days.

The only positives that came out of my experience was that I had a few good looking nurses, and I did some thinking about my life. Overall, the doctors didn't totally figure out what was wrong with me (something about a "cluster headache" coupled with sleep apnea with a liberal dash of stress)and I'm going to be out thousands of dollars due to no insurance for the time being(it kicks in in about two weeks). Hands down, it was the worst week of my life.

Due to how shitty this all was for me, the Vikings better win the fucking Super Bowl...

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