Monday, May 19, 2008

Wear My Ring Around Your Neck

I hate the San Antonio Spurs. I think that I have gone over this before, but I think that the topic needs to be re-addressed. I'm going to have some real conversation on how much I hate the U.N. of Roundball that plays in South Texas.

First off, their uniforms. What the fuck? They look like a black and white movie, and they totally sum up what the team is: uncolorful. I'm supposed to believe that Manu, Tony and The Big Yawn Tim are all superstars, but I can't. There is nothing interesting about any of them other than they are not from the U.S.

Second, I hate the way they flop like "Walk Hard". When did the NBA become an offshoot of FIFA? The slightest bump sends Balki Bartakamous (aka Manu) across the floor. And they whine like a newborn whenever they don't get a call. Come on ladies, be mannish like Lebron.

Finally, I hate that they are so good. They have been contenders for, what, like 15 years now? 20? They went to the conference finals for the first time in this run in the mid-90s, before the widespread use of the Internet. In my lifetime, they have made the conference finals SEVEN FUCKING TIMES! The Wolves have made the playoffs eight times total. God, this is depressing. I am just going to quit

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