Monday, February 23, 2009

Crime of the Century

I took a shot at recorded music this evening. It only winged the LP and the CD in the arm (merely a flesh wound!) but still a wound nonetheless.

I bought a whole album off iTunes.

I justify the attack by stating that I only paid $7.99 for the music, and it costs almost $50 online from Amazon or Half. I also justify it by saying its the first Stevie Wonder album before his GOAT run of Music of My Mind, Innervisions, Talking Book, Fufillingness First Finale and Songs In The Key of Life. And Where I'm coming from delivers. Its less experimental than any of the above, and it is more "pop" than the others. Lots of orchestra, and one of my top 5 Stevie songs (If You Really Love Me).

Still, I may keep this practice to a minimum because there is nothing physical about it. Its like having sex with a drum machine, to quote Beck. All fun while its happening, but somehow cold and not cool afterwards.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

News of the World

The world has been turned upside down...just today we get the news that Vern Gagne got into a fight at an assisted living home with another old timer and the guy eventually died and that some scraggly woman in Connecticut used to get her killer chimp drunk on wine before cuddling him.

And the economy is in the crapper, we have only one Senator, and almost a trillion dollars in funding was committed to the economy. But we can't cover that, because there's killer ex-wrestlers and killer Anthropomorphic Chimps on the loose. Oh, and Flo Rida has another #1 song, which samples a big hit from a transvestite pirate that was big a quarter century ago. You spin me right round indeed.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Life Is The Rock, But The Radio Rolled Me

God damn, I am sick of this seasonal purgatory that is February. The weather around here is what I imagine living in London or Seattle is like, without the good music.

So in honor of this Lazy Sunday (not the SNL short, the Small Faces song) I am doing fuck-all. I dropped 60 bucks at Cub on nonsense, and now I'm contemplating going to the gym while watching The Rock (which is one of the most underrated action movies of the 1990s).

There is a line in the DVD version of the movie where Sean Connery says something like "Losers always say they can do, and winners go home and fuck the prom queen". On basic cable, the line becomes DATE the prom queen. That just sounds ridiculous. I mean, how hard would have it been to say something like "screw" or "lay" the prom queen. I think I found myself a new career, writing more realistic censored lines for re-broadcasts of movies.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Inside Out, Oh Whoa, Inside Out

POST 501! Holy shit, I'm good like Kanye (without the gay overtones...well, with less of them anyways).

In non self congratulatory news, I bought a bunch of CDs today. Actually, I bought seven CDs today. I paid a whopping seven dollars for them because I am willing to dig through a bunch of crap to buy a bunch of mediocre gems. Here is the breakdown (and my justification for buying the discs, because of my goddamn Catholic guilt).

Billy Corgan- The Future Embrace
I bought this because the Smashing Pumpkins kicked ass from 1992-1997. Then, they But I love the whine of Mista Corgan, and I actually didn't mind the Zwan disc. (Note: I actually listened to this one tonight. Not bad, not good, a horrendous cover of "To Love Somebody". Worth about 94 cents).

Phil Collins- Face Value
I bought this disc because it fucking rules! Mainly for "Inside Out" but all the songs are kick ass. I love chillin out to soulful white brothas when I chill in my rambler with a bottle of Becks. Phil fits the bill.

Bruce Springsteen- Devils and Dust
Bought this because its the Boss. And I guarantee there is at least five good songs on it that I will want on my iPod. Twenty cents a song ain't bad at all, even though its on that lame ass DualDisc format that failed miserably.

The Afghan Whigs- What Jail Is Like (EP)
Eight song EP for a band I always wanted more music from

Carolina Liar- Coming To Terms
For those who remember, "I'm Not Over" made my songs of 2008. If the CD only has a cheesy alt pop gem other than that song, then I will be justified like my main man Timberlake.

I only had this on vinyl, and it completes my R.E.M. CD collection (with the exception of "Dead Letter Office" which I also have on LP). Great fucking album and a steal for a buck.

Afghan Whigs-Black Love
"Gentlemen" was a great song and a pretty good album, so I figured the follow up would be an equal blend of soul and grunge.(Note: I listened to this in the car on the way to Old Chi tonight. It is a pretty good CD, but it meanders a bit on the first listen. Worth about 88 cents so far).

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Jesus Of Cool

Over the last ten minutes I have come to a few realizations...

Realization #1-Depressants are 100 times better than stimulants. This realization was brought on by the fact that I pounded out two 24 oz coffees at Dunn Bros and I feel like I could fight a bear. If coffee does this kind of shit to me, I can't even imagine what I would be like if I chose to experiment with coke or meth.

Realization #2-The Bay City Rollers are the most underrated band of all time. I just bought the re-release of Nick Lowes "Jesus Of Cool" and it includes his song "Rollers Show" (which could be tongue in cheek, but I'm not sure). Plus, The Ramones thought they were going to be the second coming of the Rollers, but couldn't pull it off. Anyways, this could be the 48 oz of coffee talking, but now it feels so right.

Realization #3-The NE Palace may be the best bar in Nordeast. I have been there a handful of times now, and every time has been better than the last. Friday featured the gang killing karaoke left and right, me getting zanked out of my skull on NE Punch and PBRs, and people handing me random drinks while I did the running man. Seriously, the Palace is competing with the Pub circa 2003 as the best bar ever.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Super Stoopid

The game yesterday was quite fantastic. Didn't go in rooting for anyone, but had a slight bent towards the Cardinals half way through (I like Larry Fitz, local boy and all). L. Fitz Jr didn't disappoint, but his team did in the long run. By the end, I was looking for some fresh meat, and of course, the meat was familiar.

Feeling slightly amiss with a Steelers victory, I looked up what teams had won a single Super Bowl. There aren't many. In fact, they can almost fit on one hand.

In order...Jets, Chiefs, Bears, Rams, Ravens, Bucaneers.

All the other teams that have won the big dance have taken the game multiple times. Still, the parity in the NFL is better than MLB, where the following one and dones happened:

Royals, D-Backs, Angels

Granted, baseball has a longer history, but even throwing in drought riddled teams like the 2005 White Sox and the 1995 Braves doesn't match the distribution of wealth in football. So, what it boils down to is that hope truly doesn't spring eternal in baseball, but on (almost) any given Sunday, one team of 60 men can beat another team of 60 men for a trophy named Lombardi.