I Hate Myself For Loving You

I saw the Sea Lab 2021 where the half human/half shark was created. Marco fucked a shark and was killed by the sharks husband. But then Sharko was born with a complex and it shot people. It was the funniest shit I have ever seen. But I also feel dirty because Sea Lab 2021 sucks so bad otherwise.

Everything's Gonna Be All Right

Woke up this morning and realized it was all going to be ok. I'm going to the Cloud, money will somehow work itself out, and I just need to go with the fucking flow. I went to CD Warehouse and found a Postal Service single for $4. I know, Death Cab side project, fucking indie hype, the O.C., but this single kicks ass. Electro emo is the best way that I can describe it. And then, one of the B-Sides is a cover of another Postal Service/Death Cab For Cutie song by The Shins. The Shins may be the best group of the last ten years. They are so fucking amazing. I need to buy everything they have ever touched.

The new Gwen Stefani/"Johnny Vulture" song is so damn weird. I need another Outkast double album right now. Andre Benjamin is one of the most talented men ever in pop music. And Big Boi is inventive as all hell also. They are the Lennon/McCartney of R & B.

Swing It In The Kitchen When There Ain't Nobody Home

Remember when a certain couple fucked on Jeff's blanket at the cabin? Or when they got-it-on in the loft at the farm? I have never known another couple to have sexual relations in more public a place. Usually the car is it.

Girl, What Can I Do?

I forgot to mention my 30 minute rant on women at work today. I was just so mad thinking about all the shit I have heard in the last year coming from the ladies regarding men. A few classics are, "He treats me nice sometimes so it's o.k." and "He talked about how much he loved me on the first date. That's so sweet." What the hell? Sometimes I think that dudes are the only ones with common sense. In response to the first quote, sometimes isn't good enough. If I was being treated like shit even a bit, I would high tail it out of there. Second, that's just fucking creepy. The only way a guy is saying that is because if you hear the three little words, he knows he is getting in your pants. I have to agree with the comedian that said that women are men without the logic and reason. If I had any female readers, I would gladly like some feedback on this. I always thought that it was just stupid women who did these kind of things, but lately I have met some pretty smart ones who do this also. Most of this is probably based on the fact that I am extremely sexually frustrated. I am sure that if I was getting some, I would not think like this. Execpt for the no logic and reason part. That has been in my stable of thought through thick and thin.

Uno, Dos, Tres, Catorze

Well, I guess that I have to use the "City of Champlin" template because it is the only one that displays the blog decently. Pretty strange weekend. Sat and drank six beers alone at Bob's on Friday waiting for Quade to get off (got to talk to Quades hot co-worker, which is a plus). Then when he got there, I was too tipsy to really talk. Then Doghouse M. texted me "7th Grade" and I laughed for like an hour. I wonder where Saifuddin Ansari is these days? Saturday consisted of me getting sick at work, then getting a call from Milla to go to Grabski's. I dragged my sick ass out of bed, only to realize too late that drunk Doghouse M. invited me into a no fly zone. So Peter (who just happened to be there) and I went to Perkins and I had Potato Pancakes. We listened to the Streets "A Grand Don't Come For Free" twice through. That album is the best story of 2004. Then, I Farmed it for five hours today and all I got out of it was Taylor saying, "Thanks for tucking in your shirts, assholes" for no apparent reason. After that, it was coffee with Jody at Caribou in Maple Grove. We talked about old times, and stuff like that.

R To the A to The K-I-M, If I Wasn't, Then Why Would I Say I Am?

I just realized (by watching VH1s "Awesomely Bad Metal Songs") that Limp Bizkit sampled Eric B and Rakim's "My Melody" in "My Way." NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least some guy said that Durst always sounds like he is a 10 year old whining for ice cream. And you know that they really really want to take the "Awesomely" title down but they are afraid to get sued. Oh, and now some dude called White Lion a "motherfucking pussy."

If you wanna have a good laugh looking at Mr. Sensitive (THE GUY WHO WROTE "EAT YOU ALIVE" AND "BREAK STUFF") go to Fred Dursts blog at :

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=americanalien

Happy Valentines Day, February the 14th

So, Thanksgiving sucked. My asshole drunk uncle Danny got all huffy because my mom didn't vote for Tex, and my mom's friend Donna tried to hug my brothers and me. The highlight was the best game of football ever played between my brothers Jordan, Zach, my cousin Josh, and myself. It was great. Trick plays, after dark miracle touchdown passes, interceptions, game saving tackles. Zach and I prevailed 13-11. The food was pretty good, except for this stuff my grandma Marge makes called Tomato "Speck". It is a Jell-O mold full of lemon Jell-O and tomato soup concentrate. Then they put green olives in and top it with Miracle Whip. I'm not sure anyone actually eats it, but I once took a bite and threw up in my mouth. It is the foodstuff incarnate of what hell would taste like. At one point the political discussion between my uncle (who kisses up to my grandpa by litterally saying, "Dad, dad guess who your daughter voted for? knowing my mom voted Dem in a Conservative family) and my grandpa grew so heated that I turned to my aunt Sandy and said, "I don't discuss politics with these fuckers. They don't listen." And she agreed. Zach also threatened to break out his "Clinton '92" button and wear it (yes, we have one). It was one hell of a weird Thanksgiving. At least it wasn't two years ago, where my uncle Joe beat up my aunt Jenny (his sister) between dinner and the pie. That was a fucked up ordeal.

Only In Dreams

I found my old dream journal that I wrote in up to a year ago. Here is a few of the strangest entries:

2/5/03
Brandon Quade's dad got mad at me because I didn't know who sang lead vocals, Brooks or Dunn. Someone remade "Swingin'"(By Jon Anderson)

2/2/03
There were people living in the hole in the AV room. One came to me and said, "Probably no alcohol left?" Then Taylor told us that homeless people live in the hole. They had a beanbag chair. Then Ashley Clark came out of the hole and yelled at me. I was then watching Sports Center and I heard that the NBA had foreclosed the Mavericks secretly a year ago. Then they showed a montage of Grant Hill sucking. Then there were newspapers with headlines about Florida State and Arizona, and one that said "IRELAND!"

3/23/03
I played basketball at CPHS with Jeff, Brian Oddy, Julius Stokes and Devar Moore. We kept calling the team we beat the Nets

8/6/03
I went to the mascot races and cheered for the Syracuse Orangemen mascot.

1/15/03
A review in a magazine said that Conner Obherst's (Bright Eyes) first albums were much better than his new one.

1/10/03
I was on SNL and all we had were scripts written by kids from North Hennepin. We did the skits in restaurant booths and made fun of Lorne Michaels. I talked ghetto and had a diamond ring in my only skit. It was at IHOP, and Shawn Michaels flexed in the booth behind me.

5/19/03
I found a Sports Illustrated at the farm with Sinead O'Connor on the cover and the headline, "SLUT!".

2/20/03
I was in a choir at North Hennepin with Caleb Hicks and Angie Lewis. We sang a Beach Boys song and did jazzy hands.

2/15/03
I went to some 50s party where the MC said to break out your blades and then everyone started doing coke except me and Darrin Dalida. Some lady caught Quade doing it but I covered for him. Then we listened to "What's Going On 2000" by Marvin Gaye. Jeff, Quade and I then beat the shit out of the Cleveland Cavs. Then Jeff and Quade morphed into Richie and the Fonz.

Weird shit, huh?

What Is A Manage Et Trois? Or What Is Sex When There Is Three People?

Hehe. Anyways, not all that much new in my life. Working a shitload and pumped about my day off tomorrow. I got to thinking about how my own musical journey has been influenced by people and stuff after reading Christian's blog. Here is my own timeline.

1990-1995: Basic Top 40 stuff, lots of KQ92 when they played new and old music, and the classics that my dad listened to. Got heavy into Nirvana, some Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Green Day, Aerosmith. Also basic rap through my friend Jeremy, although I still do not know what Spice 1 sounds like.

1995-1998: MTV and The EDGE. Thank God for these two things. Got into Oasis, Cake, Foo Fighters, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, basic Modern Rock of the time.

1998-2001: Mostly through friends. Heard They Might Be Giants through Kyle, rekindled my love for Weezer. Albums that I have never heard of through Peter Harold and Christian (Paul Barman, Rare Prince, Velvet Underground, Del, etc). Nick Miller introduced me to ATLiens and underground rap (Dead Prez...um no). Russ Olson of all people played "Stankonia" and it changed my perception of rap. Lots of pop punk through Louwerse and reading Billboard.

2001-Current: The internet allowed me to hear shit I read about in Spin and Billboard when I was a kid. The first MP3 I downloaded was in 1998 (Pearl Jam "Wishlist and some Archers of Loaf song). When I got Napster, I heard Kool Keith, old rap like Eric B and Rakim and lots of stuff by Pavement and indie rock groups. I also was introduced to more rap and R&B through Jeff and Christian, and actually grew to like the Velvet Underground through Peter. Its been a fantastic voyage.

Like You Was Poindexter

Had the new greatest night of dorkdom ever tonight. I went to watch the Wolves game with Jeff and Nate at Bob's. Then we went to Cheapo where I proceeded to by "The Essential Cheap Trick" because I love "Everything Works If You Let It" and "Dream Police". It was also only seven bucks. Then Jeff played "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates five times on the ride home. I am convinced that it is the greatest song ever. Halo 2 and Fusion Frenzy were then played until we got the bright idea to watch "Sixteen Candles" on the WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! (or WE) channel. I can't wait for their history of the tampon special Tuesday. I have decided two things after this special night of dorkdom. One, Star Jones (and her new marriage) are the reason that I am not ever going to get married. And two, there will never be as good a teen flick made as "Sixteen Candles."

Fight For Your Rights, Fight For Your Life

This article sums up what I was thinking about the fight exactly:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/writers/chris_mannix/11/20/pacers.react/index.html

Street Fighting Man

Heavyintojeff is up, and I now feel that I have to up my game. Scoops is showing nasty titties, and Quade brings back the Siggies. What the hell does a little 'ol blog have to offer? My sparkling wit and charm, yeah that's the ticket.

Anyways, I saw the Pistons-Pacers fight last night and was thoroughly disgusted. In a nutshell, the fight showed why I cannot give my heart to the NBA. Artest fouls Wallace hard WITH A TEN POINT LEAD. Fucking worthless bi-polar thug. Then, the players need to go into the crowd and fight the fans. It's not like fans haven't thrown beer before. Granted, what the fans did was wrong. It is just really sad that the players felt the need to go into the crowd and throw haymakers and whatnot. It was sickening to watch and it just confirms that the NBA is not the sport that I grew up loving in the late 80s-early 90s. That NBA was graceful and high scoring and was dominated by clever and great stars like Magic, Bird, and Barkley. Jordan would have never went into the crowd to fight jerkoff fans. And the NBA thinks that Jermaine O'Neal is worth basing a marketing campaign around? Why don't they start issuing Kermit Washington throwbacks.

Drop It Like It's Haaaaaaaaat

Well, I have decided to drop Biology. Piece of shit class. I will miss some aspects though. My lab class was really fucking amusing. I will miss the man who looked and acted like Chi-King Jr. who would stare at me and laugh for no reason. He also didn't know where Williams Arena was, and he lives on campus. I will miss his lab partner, who was disgusted by him and was also the only non anti-social girl in that class. I will miss the argument the Arabian kid and Chi-King got into over Jacob Wetterling that ended in racial threats. I will miss my lab partner, who said about three words all semester and treated me like I was mentally retarded because I didn't exactly get meiosis. I will miss the Amazonian girl that was my lab partner for a week and her hot fake tan and the fact that she felt compelled to yell "Thirsty Thursday!!" in class. I will also miss the frat boy who asked "Does anyone need lube on their fingers" five times because we had tack on our hands for a lab. Mostly I will miss the fact that I had to plant shit when I am a Journalism major. And the fact that now I am out $1200 for nothing.

You're Out Of Touch, I'm Out Of Time

I have been watching this "Retrosexual" thing on VH1 and it is pretty damn good. All the dudes look like gay porn stars though. And I still stand by my idea that I would have been celebate because no one trimmed their naughty bits back then. Also, Surgeon General C. Everet Koop was a pimp. Someone under Reagan who wanted to give out rubbers? And who dressed like an actual general? Fantastic. And what happened to that Joycelyn Elders chick who suggested that kids get taught jerking off in 5th grade? I hope that she is doing well.

These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes

Lifes been pretty good lately. I have been getting enough sleep, so no depression or anything like that. Some of you might know, but the less sleep that I get the more down I get. So lately, yeah, no depression. The only bad thing is not going to enough class, because I have been a little ill lately. I hope its not mono again. Good lord, not mono. Otherwise, lots of work and playing tennis outside because it is still pretty damn nice out. I ate two different pizza buffets (Broadway and Godfathers) in the last few days, and enjoyed it a lot.

I have been having a lot of really strange thoughts lately. One was started by that Michael Nottington guy who posted the day after the election. He said that I should get involved in politics because of my views. I may take his suggestion. I have often wondered about what it would be like to run for some sort of office or council seat, and it may have to be done. I just do not know where I would fit in. I am obviously a Democrat, but I supported tearing down the apartments on Brooklyn Boulevard, which is a Republican stance. I guess that I would go more into the mold of my man, William Jefferson Clinton. A man who was moderate if there ever was one. I mean, not now. In a couple of years. The woman who won my district ran an auto parts store, so its not like you really need that much experience to be a state senator or a state rep. I know its crazy, but its a thought.

My other thoughts have involved women. I just have no interest in dating anyone seriously. I guess it is the lack of crushes and available women that are around. I finally am comfortable with the single life. Sure, it may have taken a year, but now I really think that I dig the fact that I do not have a significant other. Strangely enough, I miss the cuddling (and obviously the sex) but its something that I have come to grips with. My time will come. It does suck that I attend a University with extremely hot girls left and right. It is true that men put women into two groups when they first see them. It seems these days I put more in the "would" group than the "wouldn't" group. The less I get, the lower the standards are.

Only 60 Dollars

The new Handsome Boy Modeling School is the brilliant shit. It is like a mix tape from heaven. So many of my favorite artists that get not enough or no love (Mars Volta, Chino Moreno) are here in new exciting ways. The Oates/Jamie Cullum song is really really good, as well as the Jack Johnson. The great thing about the album is that there is a good mix of styles. I can't believe they did what they did with pop music. I knew both of them could work wonders with hip hop, but the rock side is just as good. I am pretty sure that this will make my top ten for the year.

Cause It's So Hard To Swallow

Some dude came up to me and Jeff outside Cheapo tonight and asked us if we wanted to buy mushrooms. He was normally dressed and in a Buick with five other dudes. The question is, why mushrooms? No one is just going to say, yeah, you know, sure. Pot or coke maybe, but mushrooms?

Oh, Oh, The Israelites

Last night was a good time until No-Knee lied about the kegger. Anyways, Millas 22nd at Mayslacks was pretty crazy. Christian got a purple nurple for touching some girl (who looked like Sue Marklowitz) hair bun. Milla danced with a 40 year old mom? Pics will be soon in coming for that one. Hookers N Blow was hot hot shit. The Stevie, Stones and Curtis covers were hot, and I cannot believe that they played Shantytown by Desmond Decker, because I quoted it on the drive over. Also, the car ride on the way over sucked because Angie's car reeked of seaweed. But the awesome roast beef sandwiches at the bar proved a nice distraction. And at the end of the night, Jeff and I ate Taco Bell while listening to "Badmotofinger" by Soundgarden in my car. Oh, and Nate and I wore the same fucking shirt. That was pretty pretty gay. But overall, a good time.

Guitars, Cadillac's, Hillbilly Music.

This Space Ghost with Meatwad, Shark Thing and the hillbilly squid is the funniest thing I have ever seen. They keep saying that the Shark Things father put his human penis in his shark mothers vagina. Then Meatwad asks for candy, and they ask to bring out the vaginas. And the Shark talks about his anal fins and being beaten with a jar of turtle penises. What the hell? I usually hate all the above characters. But this is brilliant.

Everybody Knows It Hurts To Grow Up

Went out to Fridays tonight with Milla and Jeff A. Hill. Discussed how the Farm was a huge frat where all the old members are still welcome (except Pods and Schmitt) and they will always be Farmers. I cannot believe that it is Millas 22nd today. Seems like it was just yesterday we had 7th Grade Reading in the portable at Jackson Middle School. We got to wear our coats outside, and I remember his St.Louis Blues Starter Jacket and his big ass Sketchers and his No Fear shirts. Fucking 1995, what the hell? All about sports teams and the girls rocking the stupid CK shirts. Then came 8th grade German when my mom bought us all strudel and Milla called me fat. Then in '99 when we spoke over Dreamcast in the morning after the bus and Soul Calibur and how kickass Rancid was. I gave Milla a ride home from the first pepfest (along with Kyle Robert and a 14 year old Louwerse) and he in turn ordered me Punk O Rama 1 from Epitath. I think that since then we've probably been to about 50 concerts together, from that first Five Iron Frenzy show on Halloween '99 (has it been 5 years?). Holy shit, how time flies. Milla is now an adult, I will be so in 29 days, then Hill in January. It seems like I was 17 yesterday, and sometimes I wish that I was. We now cannot rely on the "Oh, I'm 21 excuse." Where are the others now? Louwerse is fucking married and Kyle is a lifer in the military (and Dustin is in the Navy). We lost Radam and Mike and all those guys, and many female friends along the way. Honestly, I don't know what I want to do with my life. I should be graduating this year like all of the others in my class, getting a job and whatnot. I think I'm gonna start a new excuse. It's called, "Oh, I'm 22. I can do this for another year." And I am gonna love that.