First off, I'm not going to talk about the Chris Benoit murder-suicide in depth. Its just really shocking, and sad.
On to the only other story in the media-the KG trade. At this point, I really think he should be traded. There is no way he can play here and be happy at this point, unless the Wolves trade for Kobe and lure MJ out of retirement. I just hope McHale doesn't botch this one too badly, but you know he will. I'm assuming its going to be Luke Walton and Andrew Bynum for Garnett and the #7 pick. Come on, you know they are just going to draft the big Asian if they keep the pick.
The only upside in this is that a white Lakers Garnett jersey would look pretty bad ass.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Trailers For Sale or Rent
UPDATE: The ghetto bitch who I wrote about in my previous blog started the appartment complex on fire later that night. Sure, it was only the bottom floor, but still. She claimed the situation was "Straight up D-Bo" and also that she was on some "L.I.B shit" with another ghetto bitch. Also, I guess the "Block was hot 'cause they was pigs comin. Lots of pigs".
So I was reminiscing about my greatest Cheapo conquests with myself at work today, and I realized that the best one was when I found the British Now 7 for $2.95. It turns out that this was the first Now ever released on CD. I sold it on eBay for 75 pounds. A profit of 140 bucks is never something to frown on. I also found my dad Rare Earth live, which is worth over $100.
Some finds that I would like to find at Cheapo:
"Breaking Atoms"-Main Source. The likelihood of finding this is slim to none, as its been OOP since like the mid 90s and it wasn't all that popular then. I'd pay like 10 for it, seeing as how the Japanese import goes for $30.
"Where I'm Coming From"-Stevie Wonder. Released in 1971, during the so called classic period. OOP since the early 90s and goes for $40 on eBay. It has one of my fave cuts on it, "If You Really Love Me."
And the holy grail, the 60s Soul box set from Rhino. This thing is so fucking rare that I have only seen a track listing once. The 70s Soul box set may be the best box of all time, so this one would be crucial.
So I was reminiscing about my greatest Cheapo conquests with myself at work today, and I realized that the best one was when I found the British Now 7 for $2.95. It turns out that this was the first Now ever released on CD. I sold it on eBay for 75 pounds. A profit of 140 bucks is never something to frown on. I also found my dad Rare Earth live, which is worth over $100.
Some finds that I would like to find at Cheapo:
"Breaking Atoms"-Main Source. The likelihood of finding this is slim to none, as its been OOP since like the mid 90s and it wasn't all that popular then. I'd pay like 10 for it, seeing as how the Japanese import goes for $30.
"Where I'm Coming From"-Stevie Wonder. Released in 1971, during the so called classic period. OOP since the early 90s and goes for $40 on eBay. It has one of my fave cuts on it, "If You Really Love Me."
And the holy grail, the 60s Soul box set from Rhino. This thing is so fucking rare that I have only seen a track listing once. The 70s Soul box set may be the best box of all time, so this one would be crucial.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
In The Ghetto
One of the highlights of my life is listening to the gutter trash that lives in my apartments complex argue about nonsense. I just heard an awesome, uplifting speech about how if some girl gets jumped, she will take the "L", but then real N-words like her boy Mitchell do it real the next time. I know a shit ton of hard assed mafuckers named Mitchell. Still, it doesn't match the arguement my roommate Mark heard the couple below us having. The whole arguement, at 8 AM on a Saturday, was about who could get ready faster. Bomb Fridley!
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Seems To Me, You Don't Want To Talk About It.
So the James Gang rides into America's most boring city tonight to play the biggest piece of shit boring franchise in professional sports. Guess who I'm going to be rooting for? Yep, I've been a King James mark since day one. But that's beside the point. I think I'd root for just about ANY team that was playing the Spurs. Like, for instance, if the Packers could somehow put a starting five on the floor, I may root for them. I hate hate hate the Spurs. They make vanilla ice cream and the missionary position seem exciting. Their unis suck. Their team is a bunch of foreign soccer flopping pussies led by the Big Snooze, Tim Duncan. I don't care how good you are, if you can't entertain, I'm not interested. The only way I'm ever going to like the Spurs is if they coax Charles Oakley out of retirement to bitch slap Tyrone Hill at half-court one more time.
The Cuts!
"Still Rock and Roll To Me" Mr.William Joel
"Gangsters" The Specials
"At This Moment" Billy Vera and The Beaters (Side note on this one: Wasn't Courtney Cox kinda kute on "Family Ties" during this time period? Sure she had big hair and may have been sporting retro-bush, but I still would have been there to pick up the pieces when she dumped Alex. Oh, and Skippy was a douche.)
"Baby It's You"-Smith
"Cupid"-The Spinners
"Tracy"-The Cufflinks (Side Note #2- Sixties bubblegum is the shit!)
The Cuts!
"Still Rock and Roll To Me" Mr.William Joel
"Gangsters" The Specials
"At This Moment" Billy Vera and The Beaters (Side note on this one: Wasn't Courtney Cox kinda kute on "Family Ties" during this time period? Sure she had big hair and may have been sporting retro-bush, but I still would have been there to pick up the pieces when she dumped Alex. Oh, and Skippy was a douche.)
"Baby It's You"-Smith
"Cupid"-The Spinners
"Tracy"-The Cufflinks (Side Note #2- Sixties bubblegum is the shit!)
Friday, May 25, 2007
I Get Bored
So, here it goes. I have nothing to do on a Friday night. NOTHING! I could go out, but I'm kinda broke, and plus, I'm saving my alcoholic ammo for Sunday night. So I sat around Casa de Pancake and bumped fiddy cent vinyl. Here's some of the rundown:
Stevie Wonder- "Hotter Than July" From the outset, I only knew "Master Blaster." Or at least I thought I did. HOLY SHIT, IT'S GOT "LATELY" ON IT!! I forgot this one! Don't call me pussy, but the Jodeci cover of this jam was a fave of mine in junior high. And "Happy Birthday" may be a little corny, but it did pretty much single handedly get a national holiday started. Plus, most of the other songs (I Ain't Gonna Stand For It, Do Like You especially) are pretty good. I'm believing this is REAL underrated right now.
The Honeydrippers-This is an EP. It has "Sea Of Love" on it. That song is the jam, and it's really weird that the guy who ripped through "Heartbreaker" fifteen years prior is singing with an orchestra. Or maybe not, after all, "All Of My Love" got mad airplay on stations alongside the Carpenters back in the day. Pretty decent for fifty cents.
Pete Townsend-"Empty Glass" I only got through side one. But I listened to "Let My Love Open The Door" five times. Is there a more perfect pop song? Maybe not. It's not a coincidence that this was a bigger hit than any song that the Who released in the US. Pound for pound, I would rather have any Who disc though.
Cyndi Lauper-"She's So Unusual" Hey little three year old Jake. How is 1985? Pretty sure that riding in the Cordoba is cool, and that this may be up there with "Purple Rain," "Thriller," "Like A Virgin,""Sports" and "Control" as albums that defined the decade. Remember when radio stations (not just KQ) played album cuts like "Trapped" by Springsteen and "Erotic City" by Prince? Well, I remember Cyndi's version of "When You Were Mine" (A PRINCE COVER!) playing on WLOL as a tyke. Didn't realize that he did the song at the time. The three non radio hits are pretty weak, but has there been a song as good as "Time After Time" released in a while? Didn't think so.
Donald Fagen-"The Nightfly" This album cover is fucking cool as shit. Not in a KISS way. Its just a DJ smoking unfiltered Chesterfields at 4:10 AM over a turntable. I love the fact that I have this on vinyl. You couldn't make out the miniture details on the CD booklet. "I.G.Y." is the radio hit you'd remember, but this albums pretty bomb. And it sounds exactly like Steely Dan, mainly because it is. I even think the other dude played on it. Nope, it was Toto and Valerie Simpson. Solid, solid as a rock I say.
Stevie Wonder- "Hotter Than July" From the outset, I only knew "Master Blaster." Or at least I thought I did. HOLY SHIT, IT'S GOT "LATELY" ON IT!! I forgot this one! Don't call me pussy, but the Jodeci cover of this jam was a fave of mine in junior high. And "Happy Birthday" may be a little corny, but it did pretty much single handedly get a national holiday started. Plus, most of the other songs (I Ain't Gonna Stand For It, Do Like You especially) are pretty good. I'm believing this is REAL underrated right now.
The Honeydrippers-This is an EP. It has "Sea Of Love" on it. That song is the jam, and it's really weird that the guy who ripped through "Heartbreaker" fifteen years prior is singing with an orchestra. Or maybe not, after all, "All Of My Love" got mad airplay on stations alongside the Carpenters back in the day. Pretty decent for fifty cents.
Pete Townsend-"Empty Glass" I only got through side one. But I listened to "Let My Love Open The Door" five times. Is there a more perfect pop song? Maybe not. It's not a coincidence that this was a bigger hit than any song that the Who released in the US. Pound for pound, I would rather have any Who disc though.
Cyndi Lauper-"She's So Unusual" Hey little three year old Jake. How is 1985? Pretty sure that riding in the Cordoba is cool, and that this may be up there with "Purple Rain," "Thriller," "Like A Virgin,""Sports" and "Control" as albums that defined the decade. Remember when radio stations (not just KQ) played album cuts like "Trapped" by Springsteen and "Erotic City" by Prince? Well, I remember Cyndi's version of "When You Were Mine" (A PRINCE COVER!) playing on WLOL as a tyke. Didn't realize that he did the song at the time. The three non radio hits are pretty weak, but has there been a song as good as "Time After Time" released in a while? Didn't think so.
Donald Fagen-"The Nightfly" This album cover is fucking cool as shit. Not in a KISS way. Its just a DJ smoking unfiltered Chesterfields at 4:10 AM over a turntable. I love the fact that I have this on vinyl. You couldn't make out the miniture details on the CD booklet. "I.G.Y." is the radio hit you'd remember, but this albums pretty bomb. And it sounds exactly like Steely Dan, mainly because it is. I even think the other dude played on it. Nope, it was Toto and Valerie Simpson. Solid, solid as a rock I say.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Monday Morning, You Sure Look Fine. Me, I Got Travelin' On My Mind
I am super amped for softball tomorrow. Our skipper had eye surgery, and he is planning on playing with only one eye to inspire the Tarkins. Plus, we had a team practice where everyone looked like hot shit. So, wish us good luck, God.
In a little over a month and a half, I'm going to Quebec City/Montreal for a week. I plan on purchasing a Shawn Michaels shirt and posing in front of the Molson Centre in honor of the tenth anniversary of the Montreal Screwjob. I also plan on picking up some Expos and Nordiques gear if I can find it. Oh, and I plan on ingesting as much poutine as one man can ingest.
The Cuts!
"God Gave Rock and Roll To You II" KISS
"Monday Morning" Fleetwood Mac
"First I Look At The Purse" The Contours
"Bloody Well Right" Supertramp
"What Is Life" George Harrison
In a little over a month and a half, I'm going to Quebec City/Montreal for a week. I plan on purchasing a Shawn Michaels shirt and posing in front of the Molson Centre in honor of the tenth anniversary of the Montreal Screwjob. I also plan on picking up some Expos and Nordiques gear if I can find it. Oh, and I plan on ingesting as much poutine as one man can ingest.
The Cuts!
"God Gave Rock and Roll To You II" KISS
"Monday Morning" Fleetwood Mac
"First I Look At The Purse" The Contours
"Bloody Well Right" Supertramp
"What Is Life" George Harrison
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Everybody, Have You Heard? If You're In The Game, Then The Strokes The Word
So I was reading the New York Times today, and I saw that there was an article on Bono on A1. Curious as to how Bono could get on page 1 without a reference to global debt, I read on. Turns out that Bono doesn't like all the smoke from old chimneys that is coming into his posh NYC abode. That wasn't the interesting part. The man who was filling his appartment with smoke was none other than...BILLY FUCKING SQUIER! Yep, he of the Stroke. The article mentioned that his last hit was in 1984 ("Rock Me Tonight") totally out of context, so I assume that the author was as fucking shocked as I was that Billy wasn't living in Section 8 housing somewhere in Philly. Guess that he invested very well.
The article also quoted Mitch Miller, the old head of Colombia Records in the 1950s who wouldn't sign rock and roll acts. He was also the guy who had that sing along with the bouncing ball show around the same time. Wikipedia him. The funny thing is that I thought that Mitch Miller died in 1972. But I guess he lives with Billy Squier and Bono in some freak high rise around Central Park.
In other news, I graduated from the U. So if anyone needs someone to do some lowly bitch work for an ad agency, I'm your man.
The Cuts!
"The Salt In My Tears" Martin Briley
"White Trash Heroes" Archers Of Loaf
"Sophmore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year" Prince cover of the Fall Out Boy Jam
"Since You've Been Gone"(39th week at #1) Rainbow
The article also quoted Mitch Miller, the old head of Colombia Records in the 1950s who wouldn't sign rock and roll acts. He was also the guy who had that sing along with the bouncing ball show around the same time. Wikipedia him. The funny thing is that I thought that Mitch Miller died in 1972. But I guess he lives with Billy Squier and Bono in some freak high rise around Central Park.
In other news, I graduated from the U. So if anyone needs someone to do some lowly bitch work for an ad agency, I'm your man.
The Cuts!
"The Salt In My Tears" Martin Briley
"White Trash Heroes" Archers Of Loaf
"Sophmore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year" Prince cover of the Fall Out Boy Jam
"Since You've Been Gone"(39th week at #1) Rainbow
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
God Save The Queen
So its three down, one to go (and that ones in progress). Yup, I'm straight talkin about finals week. I am writing my J4261 Roth IRA paper as we speak. Or at least as I type. I am going to be so relieved when this whole thing is over. I decided not to walk on Sunday, as I didn't really make any close friends at school and I look like a bloated whale in maroon. Oh well. Here's the CDs I listened to (in their wholeness) while slaving away at the comp today:
Starz- "Violation" These dudes sound like a cross between Kiss and Big Star. They rule. If you can find "Cherry Baby" download it.
Boston-S/T Every song from this disc STILL gets played on the radio. The only weak song, in my humble opinion, is "Smokin'" which sounds like broke ass southern rock. And that one still has a shit load of fans. One of the best rock albums of all time.
Teenage Fanclub-"Songs From Northern England" This one sounds like straight up Big Star, with even more lovely melodies. Way better than "Bandwagonesqe" which for some reason Spin named album of the year in 1991. Um, how about "Nevermind"? "Ten"? "Death Certificate"?
Modest Mouse-"We Were Dead Before The Ship Sank" Less songs about floating, more about new positions. About the same amount of lyrics about bugs. I dig this one even more than the last one, mainly because there are no bullshit trumpet flares between songs.
Neil Young "Live At Massey Hall" Ol' Neil. I usually can't follow a whole album of yours, save for "Harvest" because they are BORING! But no twelve minute Crazy Horse guitar freekouts equals one fucking fantastic acoustic disc. I even like the hoedown number before the encore.
Black Sabbath-"Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" This was my winding down paper, getting it up for softball disc. It was a tossup between this and "Reign In Blood" by Slayer. Sab is a little more melodic, so I picked this over the mellow balladeers in Slayer. "Paranoid" is still better, mainly because it reminds me of Hardees and childhood, but Sab Blod Sab is damn sweet, too. Like Ozzy, I'm lookin for today.
Starz- "Violation" These dudes sound like a cross between Kiss and Big Star. They rule. If you can find "Cherry Baby" download it.
Boston-S/T Every song from this disc STILL gets played on the radio. The only weak song, in my humble opinion, is "Smokin'" which sounds like broke ass southern rock. And that one still has a shit load of fans. One of the best rock albums of all time.
Teenage Fanclub-"Songs From Northern England" This one sounds like straight up Big Star, with even more lovely melodies. Way better than "Bandwagonesqe" which for some reason Spin named album of the year in 1991. Um, how about "Nevermind"? "Ten"? "Death Certificate"?
Modest Mouse-"We Were Dead Before The Ship Sank" Less songs about floating, more about new positions. About the same amount of lyrics about bugs. I dig this one even more than the last one, mainly because there are no bullshit trumpet flares between songs.
Neil Young "Live At Massey Hall" Ol' Neil. I usually can't follow a whole album of yours, save for "Harvest" because they are BORING! But no twelve minute Crazy Horse guitar freekouts equals one fucking fantastic acoustic disc. I even like the hoedown number before the encore.
Black Sabbath-"Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" This was my winding down paper, getting it up for softball disc. It was a tossup between this and "Reign In Blood" by Slayer. Sab is a little more melodic, so I picked this over the mellow balladeers in Slayer. "Paranoid" is still better, mainly because it reminds me of Hardees and childhood, but Sab Blod Sab is damn sweet, too. Like Ozzy, I'm lookin for today.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Groovin On A Sunday Afternoon
I have myself somewhat of a Sunday night ritual. I go to my parents for dinner, then I come home and listen to the last hour of the American Top 40 flashback show on KOOL 108. This week was particularly interesting. It was the last week in April 1977, and, seeing how this was five years before I was born one would figure that I would only know a handful of songs. Well, with the exception of a Barbara Streisand song from "A Star Is Born," I knew all of them. I cannot believe how diverse top 40 radio was thirty years ago. Heres what I can remember:
#13- Fly Like an Eagle
12-"I'm So Into You" Alanta Rhythm Section
11-"Carry On My Wayward Son" Kansas
10-"Maybe I'm Amazed" Wings
9-"I've Got Love On My Mind" Natalie Cole
8-"The Things We Do For Love" 10CC
6"Southern Nights" Glen Campbell
5-"Don't Give Up On Us"-David Soul
4-"Don't Leave Me This Way" Thelma Houston
3-"Hotel California"
2-"Dancing Queen"-ABBA
1-"RICH GIRL"
So there you go. If you read this blog, you probably also know all these songs. Out of the thirteen I heard, we've got one of the greatest pop songs ever at number one, probably the best solo McCarthy song at #10, two kick ass rock songs at 12 and 11, one of the only really passable disco songs at #4, an underrated pop jem at #8 and some assorted guilty pleasures along the way. The only ones I cant stand are "Hotel" and the Natalie Cole song. Now lets look at this weeks top 10:
#10- "Cupids Chokehold" Gym Class Heroes
9-"U and UR Hand" Pink
8-"I Tried" Bone T&H/Akon
7-"This Is Why I'm Hot" MIMS
6-"The Sweet Escape"Gwen Stefani
5-"Buy You A Drink" T-Pain/Yung Joc
4-"Glamorous" Fergie
3-"Don't Matter" Akon
2-"Give It To Me" Timbaland/Nelly Furtado/Justin Timberlake
1-"Girlfriend" Avril Lavigne
Out of this top ten, which ones will ANYONE remember? I'm going with the Stefani song, maybe Glamorous, probably Cupid's Chokehold and Don't Matter. That Timbaland song went to #1, and I already forgot it. Girlfriend is a catchy little piece of bubblegum. "This Is Why I'm Hot" is easily the worst song to ever hit #1, I think I've heard the Pink song once, and I know I heard the T-Pain song only once, and it was 30 seconds if that. Oh, and BONE THUGS N HARMONY HAS A TOP TEN SINGLE! Did anyone fucking know this? When was their last hit, the Batman song or "Ghetto Cowboy" if you count side projects. That was about ten years ago. What we see on TV is obviously out of whack with what everyone is buying, at least according to Billboard.
In conclusion, music was better 30 years ago.
Oh, and KOOL 108 just played a string of "Christine Sixteen" by KISS, "Are You Experienced?" by Jimi and then "1969" by the Stooges. This further proves my point.
#13- Fly Like an Eagle
12-"I'm So Into You" Alanta Rhythm Section
11-"Carry On My Wayward Son" Kansas
10-"Maybe I'm Amazed" Wings
9-"I've Got Love On My Mind" Natalie Cole
8-"The Things We Do For Love" 10CC
6"Southern Nights" Glen Campbell
5-"Don't Give Up On Us"-David Soul
4-"Don't Leave Me This Way" Thelma Houston
3-"Hotel California"
2-"Dancing Queen"-ABBA
1-"RICH GIRL"
So there you go. If you read this blog, you probably also know all these songs. Out of the thirteen I heard, we've got one of the greatest pop songs ever at number one, probably the best solo McCarthy song at #10, two kick ass rock songs at 12 and 11, one of the only really passable disco songs at #4, an underrated pop jem at #8 and some assorted guilty pleasures along the way. The only ones I cant stand are "Hotel" and the Natalie Cole song. Now lets look at this weeks top 10:
#10- "Cupids Chokehold" Gym Class Heroes
9-"U and UR Hand" Pink
8-"I Tried" Bone T&H/Akon
7-"This Is Why I'm Hot" MIMS
6-"The Sweet Escape"Gwen Stefani
5-"Buy You A Drink" T-Pain/Yung Joc
4-"Glamorous" Fergie
3-"Don't Matter" Akon
2-"Give It To Me" Timbaland/Nelly Furtado/Justin Timberlake
1-"Girlfriend" Avril Lavigne
Out of this top ten, which ones will ANYONE remember? I'm going with the Stefani song, maybe Glamorous, probably Cupid's Chokehold and Don't Matter. That Timbaland song went to #1, and I already forgot it. Girlfriend is a catchy little piece of bubblegum. "This Is Why I'm Hot" is easily the worst song to ever hit #1, I think I've heard the Pink song once, and I know I heard the T-Pain song only once, and it was 30 seconds if that. Oh, and BONE THUGS N HARMONY HAS A TOP TEN SINGLE! Did anyone fucking know this? When was their last hit, the Batman song or "Ghetto Cowboy" if you count side projects. That was about ten years ago. What we see on TV is obviously out of whack with what everyone is buying, at least according to Billboard.
In conclusion, music was better 30 years ago.
Oh, and KOOL 108 just played a string of "Christine Sixteen" by KISS, "Are You Experienced?" by Jimi and then "1969" by the Stooges. This further proves my point.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
The Boy In The Magical Bubble
This ain't about Senifeld or that Travolta movie where he talks about jerkin off. This isn't even Jake Gyllenhall's first star turn. This is about a band going into a biosphere like The Wheez, Fine Ass Kylie Minouge and the dumb Baldwin. I guess the band Cartel is going to record their new album in some sort of David Blane-esqe enclosure in New York. My question is this: how in the hell is this going to make the music good?
I will be the first to admit, I haven't heard one second of this band. I really have been slacking on new music that isn't by established artists. All I know is that Alt Press covers them frequently, and they were getting pushed around the same time that the Quietdrive album came out. And I think their album cover is white.
But this isn't going to make me listen to them. I hate stunts. I hate people to have to pander to the lowest common denominator to make me give two shits about them. This is no different to me than any reality TV star. Watch, this will turn out to be a reality show of some sort. Could you see Springsteen, The Beatles, fuck, even a hip hop group/artist from the golden age doing this? Slick Rick live from inside an atomic sub, doing "The Ruler's Back?" Maybe PE doing "Fear Of A Black Planet" live from Siberia? This just smacks of desperation.
I will be the first to admit, I haven't heard one second of this band. I really have been slacking on new music that isn't by established artists. All I know is that Alt Press covers them frequently, and they were getting pushed around the same time that the Quietdrive album came out. And I think their album cover is white.
But this isn't going to make me listen to them. I hate stunts. I hate people to have to pander to the lowest common denominator to make me give two shits about them. This is no different to me than any reality TV star. Watch, this will turn out to be a reality show of some sort. Could you see Springsteen, The Beatles, fuck, even a hip hop group/artist from the golden age doing this? Slick Rick live from inside an atomic sub, doing "The Ruler's Back?" Maybe PE doing "Fear Of A Black Planet" live from Siberia? This just smacks of desperation.
Monday, April 16, 2007
And You Know That My Name Is Not Susan
It happened again tonight. I got called something other than Jake. I got called Zach in my German class by my TA. It was weird, because my former manager at Maple Grove always called me Zach also. I don't look anything like my brother. He's tall and skinny, and I'm built like a bowling ball. This has happened to me my whole life. I used to get called Josh all the time in elementary school and in middle school. I think I'm pretty "Jake" looking. Maybe not, I guess.
The Cuts!
-"Death Or Glory" The Clash
-"Don't Let's Start" They Might Be Giants
-"I Left My Wallet In El Segundo" A Tribe Called Quest
-"Christine Sixteen" KISS
The Cuts!
-"Death Or Glory" The Clash
-"Don't Let's Start" They Might Be Giants
-"I Left My Wallet In El Segundo" A Tribe Called Quest
-"Christine Sixteen" KISS
Monday, April 09, 2007
Gonna (Un)Dress You Up In My Love, All Over, All Over
Holy crap! I was flipping through the channels tonight and I came across "Undressed" on MTV! I forgot that this show existed in any way, shape or form. Many nights in high school were spent watching Tommy from the Power Rangers have an affair involving a cock ring, and Seth Cohen trying real hard to get laid. The only thing I need to complete my Jake circa `99 experience would be Pearl Jam "Yield" playing in the background and a crapload of Taco Bell induced acne. Then I could get in my Cutlass Calais and drive to Video Update to rent PSX games!
I just remembered that I wrote an article in my high school paper about this show. I may go to my parents house sometime and get copies of my "Rebel Times" columns and post the highlights. Then again, maybe not.
I went to my best friend Wikipedia to find out why exactly "Undressed" was on. It didn't help. According to Wiki, the show ended in 2002. What the hell? I guess that I will chalk it up to good luck at a time I didn't really have anything else to watch. "Undressed" is like the sexy chicks in underwear equivalent of the McRib. I don't know why it showed up or when it will leave. I only know that it is really tasty when its here.
I just remembered that I wrote an article in my high school paper about this show. I may go to my parents house sometime and get copies of my "Rebel Times" columns and post the highlights. Then again, maybe not.
I went to my best friend Wikipedia to find out why exactly "Undressed" was on. It didn't help. According to Wiki, the show ended in 2002. What the hell? I guess that I will chalk it up to good luck at a time I didn't really have anything else to watch. "Undressed" is like the sexy chicks in underwear equivalent of the McRib. I don't know why it showed up or when it will leave. I only know that it is really tasty when its here.
Monday, April 02, 2007
I'm On Call
First off, Joakim Noah is the fucking ugliest human being ever. He's not only an ugly human being, he looks more like an ugly woman than an ugly man. But, his mother is really hot. I guess she was Miss Sweden or something. Quit chewing on your mouthgard!
Greg Oden looks like he's 25.
New Kings Of Leon tomorrow. I didn't get to listen to this one beforehand like the other one, but "On Call" is the ish and seem to be a nice departure from the older stuff. Kind of grown up.
The Twins took the O's to the woodshed tonight. I see more than the 4th place S.I. gave them. When the hell has that magazine ever been right, anyways. I think for the last three years they have picked the Angels to win it all.
The Cuts!
"Fashion" David Bowie
"Funny Funny" The Sweet
"Kingdom Come" Tom Verlaine
"Never Be The Same Again" Ghostface Killah
Greg Oden looks like he's 25.
New Kings Of Leon tomorrow. I didn't get to listen to this one beforehand like the other one, but "On Call" is the ish and seem to be a nice departure from the older stuff. Kind of grown up.
The Twins took the O's to the woodshed tonight. I see more than the 4th place S.I. gave them. When the hell has that magazine ever been right, anyways. I think for the last three years they have picked the Angels to win it all.
The Cuts!
"Fashion" David Bowie
"Funny Funny" The Sweet
"Kingdom Come" Tom Verlaine
"Never Be The Same Again" Ghostface Killah
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
She's Radioactive (Radioactive)
I'm pretty psyched for the Twins season to start. Hopefully that will break me out my current, unexplained Fred Funk I'm in. Maybe it has to do with the ghetto children running around the parking lot screaming witty little bon mots like, "Don't call mae Lizzie anymo'. Only mae friend call mae Liz." Or my personal fave, "Dat's right, I called yo a D-I-C-Khead." Not to mention the fucks revving the engines on their Silverados and Grand Prixs at 12:30AM. Oh, and they don't lock our apartment doors. I hate Fridley.
Joss Stone is on Craig Ferguson right now. All I can think of is, "God, what a fine ass prostitute." Just kidding. I don't care who fucks who, as long as the final product is listenable. Shit, Bob Dylan could have blown everyone in Cafe Wha? and as long as "Blonde On Blonde" was the gangsta shit, who gives a fuck?
The reason I'm watching Mr. Fergie is that Robin Williams is on Conan. I would rather take it in the pooper from the "Rabid Wolverine" Chris Benoit than ever watch that ADD attention deprived Leprechaun ever again. Ah-lalalalalala, Uh-whoowhoowhoo. And that's the gist of his sthick.
Joss Stone is on Craig Ferguson right now. All I can think of is, "God, what a fine ass prostitute." Just kidding. I don't care who fucks who, as long as the final product is listenable. Shit, Bob Dylan could have blown everyone in Cafe Wha? and as long as "Blonde On Blonde" was the gangsta shit, who gives a fuck?
The reason I'm watching Mr. Fergie is that Robin Williams is on Conan. I would rather take it in the pooper from the "Rabid Wolverine" Chris Benoit than ever watch that ADD attention deprived Leprechaun ever again. Ah-lalalalalala, Uh-whoowhoowhoo. And that's the gist of his sthick.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Ain't No Other Man (She Wouldn't F@#% For Tracks)
Thanks Jeff for telling me about this one. Finally read some of the comments that Dallas Austin said about Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone gettin nasty for production on their respective albums. We all knew that Xtina or whatever the fuck was a no talent whore, but Joss Stone? Really now, besides being in my fanstasy file, where is she really been? "Fell In Love With A Boy" got a little airplay, and that last single was horrible. But, you know, why not bang her for a job? If my job consisted of fucking Joss Stone so I could make her lattes, you damn well better believe I would make that sacrifice.
March 30th, 1987 was the release of "Sign Of The Times" by Prince. On March 30th, 2007, I am going to listen to nothing but this album. Even "It's Gonna Be A Beautiful Night," which is weak. I will also allow B-Sides from the singles, one of which was "Shockadelica". Mmmmm, Camille. Oh, and probably "Alphabet St." I don't know why, I just dig that song.
The Cuts (Fridley Gunfire Edition)
"She Moves In Her Own Way" The Kooks
THE ENTIRE BOSTON S/T ALBUM
"Born To Run" Bruce Springsteen
Side one of Blind Faith S/T
"Wouldn't Get Far" The Game/Kanye West
"Southbound" Thin Lizzy
March 30th, 1987 was the release of "Sign Of The Times" by Prince. On March 30th, 2007, I am going to listen to nothing but this album. Even "It's Gonna Be A Beautiful Night," which is weak. I will also allow B-Sides from the singles, one of which was "Shockadelica". Mmmmm, Camille. Oh, and probably "Alphabet St." I don't know why, I just dig that song.
The Cuts (Fridley Gunfire Edition)
"She Moves In Her Own Way" The Kooks
THE ENTIRE BOSTON S/T ALBUM
"Born To Run" Bruce Springsteen
Side one of Blind Faith S/T
"Wouldn't Get Far" The Game/Kanye West
"Southbound" Thin Lizzy
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Movin' On Up Now, Out Of the Darkness
I'm leaving the cocoon that is Brooklyn Park finally on Thursday. I'm pushing and expanding my boundaries all the way to...Memphis? No, I'm not Mott The Hoople. I'm moving to the lovely city of Fridley. Yep, a whole 15 minutes from my current abode. Oh well, a move is a move. I'm trading in the ghetto trash for white trash. I am still not sure how that's going to play out, but we will see. Also, Chris and Rob's Chicago Style Eatery is going to be mere blocks from my new apartment. I can gorge on cheesy beef and Maxwell Street Polishes until my arteries cannot take it anymore.
The Cuts:
"Never Going Back Again" Fleetwood Mac
"I Want To Break Free" Queen
"Message In A Bottle" The Police
"Radiation Vibe" Fountains Of Wayne
"We Used To Vacation" Cold War Kids
The Cuts:
"Never Going Back Again" Fleetwood Mac
"I Want To Break Free" Queen
"Message In A Bottle" The Police
"Radiation Vibe" Fountains Of Wayne
"We Used To Vacation" Cold War Kids
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Went To A Party Last Saturday Night, Didn't Get Laid, Got In A Fight. Uh Huh, It Ain't No Big Thang
As the above post notes, I indeed go to a party last Saturday night. It was fun. I ate Tater Tots and drank screwdrivers until 5AM. I also played many jams, one of which was "I Was Made For Lovin You" by KISS. Everyone hated on it, except for me and Jeff Hill. I refered to it as "kissco" which seemed to make everyone else mad.
I did notice that the same thing happened to me at this specific party that happens at nearly every party that I have been to in the last five years. Everyone else concentrates on getting laid or passes out, and I end up talking about random, weird bullshit with someone I don't know that well. I have never quite figured out why I do this. Anyways, I thought about a list of the best bullshit convos that I have had at parties...EVER
-The 1980s Boston Celtics (Especially the '86 team). The guy I discussed this with also randomly said he'd kill me after I brought up the parquet floor.
-The availibility of the Rolling Stones CD "Goats Head Soup." Both me and the gentleman I discussed this with owned it on vinyl, but had only seen it on CD once.
-German "Big Brother." The girl that I discussed this with denied ever having the conversation at a later date. I know it happened, mainly because we also discussed "The Immaculate Collection" by Madonna.
-Pistol Pete Maravich and the dissappearance of Tube Socks in the modern NBA- I nicknamed some dude "Pistol Pete", which lead to a two hour discussion on NBA history. I also deemed it possible that I could beat anyone in the WNBA at a game of one-on-one (as did every other guy in the conversation).
-The "Dawson's Creek" episode where Dawson's dad dies eating ice cream and singing "Drift Away". I was told that at some point in this conversation, I screamed "Did Dawson ever get to make his movie?"
-The Pearl Jam Ten Club. Specifically, how I only obtained one single, even though I have been a member for three years.
-The 1986 New York Giants. Specifically, how Mark Bavaro and L.T. were the shit.
I'm sure theres more, but I can't recall. Maybe I need to try to get a little booty next time, instead of dwelling on 80s sports teams and music? Naw, I'm good.
I did notice that the same thing happened to me at this specific party that happens at nearly every party that I have been to in the last five years. Everyone else concentrates on getting laid or passes out, and I end up talking about random, weird bullshit with someone I don't know that well. I have never quite figured out why I do this. Anyways, I thought about a list of the best bullshit convos that I have had at parties...EVER
-The 1980s Boston Celtics (Especially the '86 team). The guy I discussed this with also randomly said he'd kill me after I brought up the parquet floor.
-The availibility of the Rolling Stones CD "Goats Head Soup." Both me and the gentleman I discussed this with owned it on vinyl, but had only seen it on CD once.
-German "Big Brother." The girl that I discussed this with denied ever having the conversation at a later date. I know it happened, mainly because we also discussed "The Immaculate Collection" by Madonna.
-Pistol Pete Maravich and the dissappearance of Tube Socks in the modern NBA- I nicknamed some dude "Pistol Pete", which lead to a two hour discussion on NBA history. I also deemed it possible that I could beat anyone in the WNBA at a game of one-on-one (as did every other guy in the conversation).
-The "Dawson's Creek" episode where Dawson's dad dies eating ice cream and singing "Drift Away". I was told that at some point in this conversation, I screamed "Did Dawson ever get to make his movie?"
-The Pearl Jam Ten Club. Specifically, how I only obtained one single, even though I have been a member for three years.
-The 1986 New York Giants. Specifically, how Mark Bavaro and L.T. were the shit.
I'm sure theres more, but I can't recall. Maybe I need to try to get a little booty next time, instead of dwelling on 80s sports teams and music? Naw, I'm good.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
P-U-N-K In The USA (A Treatise On Punk Ideals)
AC/DC is punk as fuck. I know that some old school Black Flag fan just shat himself after reading that statement, but screw the old guard. I'm here to re-define the idea of what punk is.
So what is punk. I figure punk is sort of like art, you know what it is when you see it. Everyone says the Ramones are punk, and I concurr with those who call them punk. But Blondie? They were a disco band at most, a new wave act at the least. I think that the one tangible thing punk should have is attitude. It should have nothing to do with style of music. Therefore, the following are to be considered punk from now on:
Ice Cube up until 1995- Anyone who comes out with a song called "The Nigga You Love To Hate" is punk. More points for enciting riots. Ice Cube after 1995 is about as vanilla as they come, and is anti-punk.
Motley Crue's song "Live Wire"- I dig the Crue, but their later stuff falls in between Winger and Roxette in the punk category. "Live Wire" makes me want to blow shit up and punch someone at the SuperAmerica in the face for no reason. Therefore, punk.
AC/DC with Bon Scott- Good Ol'Bon wrote songs about fucking obese women and getting syphilis. No one else has done this before or since with such conviction.
David Lee Roth- I'm not exatcly sure why DLR is punk, but I sure as hell know he is. Maybe the assless chaps?
Rage Against the Machine- Tom Morello is a black communist who makes his guitar sound like a harmonica. Zach De La Rocha hates everything. The band climbs lighting fixtures to interrupt Fred Durst speeches. Punk as fuck!
Axl Rose- Sang songs about Nighttrain. Wore leather braclets. Covered Iggy and the Dead Boys. So punk it hurts.
Prince on "Dirty Mind"- The music is new wave, but the attitude is punk. He talks about fucking his sister in detail for no good reason whatsoever.
Joe Namath- B'way Joe really didn't give two shits about anyone from the old guard. He wore a floor length fur coat on the sideline, and he wore pantyhose on national television. Plus, he pulled off the second greatest upset in the history of sports.
John Lennon "Plastic Ono Band"- To this day, I have no idea why Capitol Records allowed this album to come out. Screaming, calling his fans "fucking pesants", missing his mommy, saying God is nothing but a concept, nuclear bombs dropping, a reference to either cocaine or the Cookie Monster in the middle of the most poppy song on the album. In most peoples minds, flags would have went up. For some reason this came out, and it made the world just a bit more real.
Public Enemy until 1995- 95 seemed to be the year that revolution was subdued by reality TV and family comedy films. Public Enemy was FUCKING SCARY to a ten year old white kid in 1992. Then came claymation "Give It Up" and "Flava Of Love" No, Boyee!
Slayer- Songs about Auschwitz played at breakneck speed are punk
Metallica's "Master of Puppets" Same with songs about heroin and mental illness.
That's all I got for now. Anyone else? I guess Rick James, even though he labeled himself as such. But I guess punk in the black community means gay, so the fact that one of the 20th centurys greatest cocksman called himself a funky gay dude is pretty punky.
So what is punk. I figure punk is sort of like art, you know what it is when you see it. Everyone says the Ramones are punk, and I concurr with those who call them punk. But Blondie? They were a disco band at most, a new wave act at the least. I think that the one tangible thing punk should have is attitude. It should have nothing to do with style of music. Therefore, the following are to be considered punk from now on:
Ice Cube up until 1995- Anyone who comes out with a song called "The Nigga You Love To Hate" is punk. More points for enciting riots. Ice Cube after 1995 is about as vanilla as they come, and is anti-punk.
Motley Crue's song "Live Wire"- I dig the Crue, but their later stuff falls in between Winger and Roxette in the punk category. "Live Wire" makes me want to blow shit up and punch someone at the SuperAmerica in the face for no reason. Therefore, punk.
AC/DC with Bon Scott- Good Ol'Bon wrote songs about fucking obese women and getting syphilis. No one else has done this before or since with such conviction.
David Lee Roth- I'm not exatcly sure why DLR is punk, but I sure as hell know he is. Maybe the assless chaps?
Rage Against the Machine- Tom Morello is a black communist who makes his guitar sound like a harmonica. Zach De La Rocha hates everything. The band climbs lighting fixtures to interrupt Fred Durst speeches. Punk as fuck!
Axl Rose- Sang songs about Nighttrain. Wore leather braclets. Covered Iggy and the Dead Boys. So punk it hurts.
Prince on "Dirty Mind"- The music is new wave, but the attitude is punk. He talks about fucking his sister in detail for no good reason whatsoever.
Joe Namath- B'way Joe really didn't give two shits about anyone from the old guard. He wore a floor length fur coat on the sideline, and he wore pantyhose on national television. Plus, he pulled off the second greatest upset in the history of sports.
John Lennon "Plastic Ono Band"- To this day, I have no idea why Capitol Records allowed this album to come out. Screaming, calling his fans "fucking pesants", missing his mommy, saying God is nothing but a concept, nuclear bombs dropping, a reference to either cocaine or the Cookie Monster in the middle of the most poppy song on the album. In most peoples minds, flags would have went up. For some reason this came out, and it made the world just a bit more real.
Public Enemy until 1995- 95 seemed to be the year that revolution was subdued by reality TV and family comedy films. Public Enemy was FUCKING SCARY to a ten year old white kid in 1992. Then came claymation "Give It Up" and "Flava Of Love" No, Boyee!
Slayer- Songs about Auschwitz played at breakneck speed are punk
Metallica's "Master of Puppets" Same with songs about heroin and mental illness.
That's all I got for now. Anyone else? I guess Rick James, even though he labeled himself as such. But I guess punk in the black community means gay, so the fact that one of the 20th centurys greatest cocksman called himself a funky gay dude is pretty punky.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Baby, You Can Drive My Car
The citizens of Brooklyn Park drive like a 5 year old mentally retarded boy named Toddy. I nearly got into three accidents today, and it took almost a half hour to get from my house to I-94. I can't believe how stupid people are. And to top it all off, I had to swerve to avoid a bumper in the middle of the enterance to Douglas Drive. It was like my little own personal Arc D'Triumpfe.
Another freaking homeless person/hooker in my driveway today. As I was getting ready to leave for work around 6, some dude came up to me and offered to shovel my driveway. I'm sure he didn't want any monetary compensation. Maybe he was trying to pay it forward or something. Brooklyn Park is starting to become North Minneapolis day by day.
Why do Minnesotans love mayonaise? I hate that shit to the Nth degree. One of the dudes in my "ad agency" for school (Four Guys, A Girl And An Ad Agency) pointed out how if you offer a Minnesotan a chili dog and a regular hot dog for the same price, they will choose the regular hot dog at least half of the time. Personally, I would eat the chili dog. I hate mild. I don't think I've even had mayo in about five years. That shit has the mouthfeel of Crisco and half the taste.
The Cuts!
"Start Choppin" Dinosuar Jr.
"Live Wire" Motley Crue
"Cold Gin (Live)" KISS
"Rawhide" Link Wray
"Ain't Nothin Ta Fuck Wit" Wu-Tang
"Kim The Waitress" Material Issue
"So Far Away" Dire Straits
"Smile" Lily Allen
Another freaking homeless person/hooker in my driveway today. As I was getting ready to leave for work around 6, some dude came up to me and offered to shovel my driveway. I'm sure he didn't want any monetary compensation. Maybe he was trying to pay it forward or something. Brooklyn Park is starting to become North Minneapolis day by day.
Why do Minnesotans love mayonaise? I hate that shit to the Nth degree. One of the dudes in my "ad agency" for school (Four Guys, A Girl And An Ad Agency) pointed out how if you offer a Minnesotan a chili dog and a regular hot dog for the same price, they will choose the regular hot dog at least half of the time. Personally, I would eat the chili dog. I hate mild. I don't think I've even had mayo in about five years. That shit has the mouthfeel of Crisco and half the taste.
The Cuts!
"Start Choppin" Dinosuar Jr.
"Live Wire" Motley Crue
"Cold Gin (Live)" KISS
"Rawhide" Link Wray
"Ain't Nothin Ta Fuck Wit" Wu-Tang
"Kim The Waitress" Material Issue
"So Far Away" Dire Straits
"Smile" Lily Allen
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Ooooh, I'm Lookin For Clues
Is there some artists that you always thought you hated? For me, it has always been the Doors. I fucking hate the Doors. I hate their entire concept, and most of their songs. "Love Her Madly" and that one song that Jay-Z samples are decent, but otherwise I think Jim Morrisson was a sham and a phony who put out hippie bullshit to seem intellegent. He also liked butt sex a lot, but that's neither here nor there. Anyways, the next paragraph will get to my point.
I was listening to the Muzak (called HearMusic) at work about a year ago, and I heard a song that sounded like the Strokes. I mean, I really thought that Julian Casablancas was preforming some solo material. I ran into the back to find out who in the holy hell sang the song. To my surprise, it was "Johnny and Mary" by ROBERT FUCKING PALMER!
Robert Palmer usually falls into my Doors category when thinking about popular music. I fucking cannot stand him. Sure, I sang "Addicted To Love" at my Uncle Ron's wedding when I was five, but I also played with Go-Bots. But "Johnny and Mary" struck some sort of chord with me. It took me nearly a year to find the song on any P2P service, and also that long to track down the album it came off of "Clues".
You know what? The album is fucking fantastic. It was released in 1980, but could have come out later in the decade. All the songs on it are both catchy and kind of alternativey. "Looking For Clues" is the absolute jam, along with "Johnny and Mary". "I Dream Of Wires" is pretty Thomas also. This hasn't made me go back and listen to "I Didn't Mean To Turn You On", but I may have to give some other early period Palm some shine.
Funny side note: I brought up to my mother that I bought this album over Thanksgiving dinner. She, and I quote, said "That album fucking sucks." I tried to explain that it wasn't the one with "Simply Irresistible" on it. She just said, "Oh, I know what album it is" and left it at that. My mom went to the Aveda hair school from 1979-81, so she's sort of familair with new wave/punk (her favorite song, all time, is "Allison" by Elvis Costello). I am just not sure why she hates a very obscure Robert Palmer album.
I was listening to the Muzak (called HearMusic) at work about a year ago, and I heard a song that sounded like the Strokes. I mean, I really thought that Julian Casablancas was preforming some solo material. I ran into the back to find out who in the holy hell sang the song. To my surprise, it was "Johnny and Mary" by ROBERT FUCKING PALMER!
Robert Palmer usually falls into my Doors category when thinking about popular music. I fucking cannot stand him. Sure, I sang "Addicted To Love" at my Uncle Ron's wedding when I was five, but I also played with Go-Bots. But "Johnny and Mary" struck some sort of chord with me. It took me nearly a year to find the song on any P2P service, and also that long to track down the album it came off of "Clues".
You know what? The album is fucking fantastic. It was released in 1980, but could have come out later in the decade. All the songs on it are both catchy and kind of alternativey. "Looking For Clues" is the absolute jam, along with "Johnny and Mary". "I Dream Of Wires" is pretty Thomas also. This hasn't made me go back and listen to "I Didn't Mean To Turn You On", but I may have to give some other early period Palm some shine.
Funny side note: I brought up to my mother that I bought this album over Thanksgiving dinner. She, and I quote, said "That album fucking sucks." I tried to explain that it wasn't the one with "Simply Irresistible" on it. She just said, "Oh, I know what album it is" and left it at that. My mom went to the Aveda hair school from 1979-81, so she's sort of familair with new wave/punk (her favorite song, all time, is "Allison" by Elvis Costello). I am just not sure why she hates a very obscure Robert Palmer album.
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