Wednesday, February 14, 2007

P-U-N-K In The USA (A Treatise On Punk Ideals)

AC/DC is punk as fuck. I know that some old school Black Flag fan just shat himself after reading that statement, but screw the old guard. I'm here to re-define the idea of what punk is.

So what is punk. I figure punk is sort of like art, you know what it is when you see it. Everyone says the Ramones are punk, and I concurr with those who call them punk. But Blondie? They were a disco band at most, a new wave act at the least. I think that the one tangible thing punk should have is attitude. It should have nothing to do with style of music. Therefore, the following are to be considered punk from now on:

Ice Cube up until 1995- Anyone who comes out with a song called "The Nigga You Love To Hate" is punk. More points for enciting riots. Ice Cube after 1995 is about as vanilla as they come, and is anti-punk.

Motley Crue's song "Live Wire"- I dig the Crue, but their later stuff falls in between Winger and Roxette in the punk category. "Live Wire" makes me want to blow shit up and punch someone at the SuperAmerica in the face for no reason. Therefore, punk.

AC/DC with Bon Scott- Good Ol'Bon wrote songs about fucking obese women and getting syphilis. No one else has done this before or since with such conviction.

David Lee Roth- I'm not exatcly sure why DLR is punk, but I sure as hell know he is. Maybe the assless chaps?

Rage Against the Machine- Tom Morello is a black communist who makes his guitar sound like a harmonica. Zach De La Rocha hates everything. The band climbs lighting fixtures to interrupt Fred Durst speeches. Punk as fuck!

Axl Rose- Sang songs about Nighttrain. Wore leather braclets. Covered Iggy and the Dead Boys. So punk it hurts.

Prince on "Dirty Mind"- The music is new wave, but the attitude is punk. He talks about fucking his sister in detail for no good reason whatsoever.

Joe Namath- B'way Joe really didn't give two shits about anyone from the old guard. He wore a floor length fur coat on the sideline, and he wore pantyhose on national television. Plus, he pulled off the second greatest upset in the history of sports.

John Lennon "Plastic Ono Band"- To this day, I have no idea why Capitol Records allowed this album to come out. Screaming, calling his fans "fucking pesants", missing his mommy, saying God is nothing but a concept, nuclear bombs dropping, a reference to either cocaine or the Cookie Monster in the middle of the most poppy song on the album. In most peoples minds, flags would have went up. For some reason this came out, and it made the world just a bit more real.

Public Enemy until 1995- 95 seemed to be the year that revolution was subdued by reality TV and family comedy films. Public Enemy was FUCKING SCARY to a ten year old white kid in 1992. Then came claymation "Give It Up" and "Flava Of Love" No, Boyee!

Slayer- Songs about Auschwitz played at breakneck speed are punk

Metallica's "Master of Puppets" Same with songs about heroin and mental illness.

That's all I got for now. Anyone else? I guess Rick James, even though he labeled himself as such. But I guess punk in the black community means gay, so the fact that one of the 20th centurys greatest cocksman called himself a funky gay dude is pretty punky.

No comments: