Arcade Fire-Rebellion (Lies)
THE anthem on a whole album full of anthems
LCD Soundsystem-Daft Punk Is Playing In My House
How did this one dude in Brooklyn get Daft Punk to play his house? Did they charge a fee? Even if all the furniture was in the garage, how many people could attend? I WANT ANSWERS!
Damian Marley-All Night
Now we all know what a killer party song by Bob Marley would have sounded like.
Radiohead-There There
Radiohead at their most non Paranoid Androidic.
Get Up Kids-Hannah Hold On
"When its over its over for sure"...ouch.
Flaming Lips-Fight Test
If something is worth fighting for, you better do it. Words to live by. Also, the theme song for the awesome MTV show “3 South”.
The Decemberists-We Both Go Down Together
The gayest, best song R.E.M. never had a chance to write.
At The Drive In-Invalid Letter Department
One of the few political songs of the decade that resonated (at least with me). Before this came out, I had no idea there was a serial killer in Juarez targeting Mexican women.
Alien Ant Farm-Movies
You’d think that the “relationship as a movie” cliché couldn’t be made fresh. AAF proved that wrong with this monster.
Weezer-Dope Nose
Two of the most awesome Weezer lines ever in “Fag of the year/who can beat up your man” and “Cheese tastes so good/ On a burnt piece of lamb”.
Electric Six-Danger! High Voltage
Fire in the disco! Fire in the Taco Bell! You know why they keep starting fires? Desire! YESSSSSSSSS!
Lily Allen-Smile
Oh Lily, you cheeky little monkey! You go ahead and scratch that wanker’s records!
New Pornographers-Sing Me Spanish Techno
Nonsensical lyrics…but that beat!
Tom Petty-Flirting With Time
The king of the South, getting all pastoral and lamenting the passage of time.
Taking Back Sunday-A Decade Under The Infuence
A kickass little emo song, until you realize it’s about the lead singer’s wife having an affair. With the lead guitarist.
Coheed and Cambria-A Favor House Atlantic
Like Rush 2K, all whiny vocals and awesome hair and riffage by the ton.
Gnarls Barkley-Crazy
A transcendant pop moment that Gnarls Barkley could come nowhere near matching.
Raconteurs- Steady as She Goes
The combo of Brendan Benson and Jack White works like PB&J on this one
Beck-Lost Cause
As sad as “Lost Cause” was, it felt like it’s just the beginning of Beck's dark night of the soul at the end of the song.
Pulp-Bad Cover Version
Jarvis Cocker at his arch best, lamenting that his ex picked a “bad cover version” of him. Sort of like “Planet of the Apes on TV”.
Dead Prez-Hip Hop
A song that urged the murder of “crackers in city hall” and somehow got played on MTV. Strangely loved by white dudes.
Interpol-C’Mere
Any song that scored an “Entourage” three-way deserves to make this list
Lil Jon-Get Low
All whistles, coming, panty lines and sweaty balls. An X-rated “Shake Your Booty” for a genreration that never had a chance.
Talib Kweli-Get By (Remix)
If the ’27 Yankees recorded a remix, it would be this. With a rookie Kanye West being Lou Gehrig, and Hov being self proclaimed Great Bambino, of course.
Jimmy Eat World-Work
“All the best DJs are playing the slowest songs for last”. Words to live by.
Jimmy Eat World-The Middle
The “Keep Ya Head Up” for the emo teens.
Wilco-Heavy Metal Drummer
Playing KISS covers, beautiful and stoned in the summer by the water…to quote and old beer ad, “it doesn’t get any better than this.”
Wilco-Spiders (Kidsmoke)
First it’s all prog-rock (or the “Newton’s Apple” Theme) then it fucking rocks like Alice Cooper. Bi-polarness at its best.
Ryan Adams-La Cierga Just Smiled
Sadly beautiful
Clipse-Grindin
Back in the day when Pharrell and coke rap were novel concepts.
Spoon-The Way We Get By
Breaking into mobile homes, getting high. Sounds like a fun night in Coon Rapids…
Andrew WK-Party Hard
Dude was so fierce that he smashed his face with a brick! His party was one that always came hard
White Stripes-Hotel Yorba
Shit kicking front porch music on a Saturday night music.
White Stripes-Seven Nation Army
The opening riff will forever live in infamy.
The Strokes-12:51
The best new single of 1981.
Third Eye Blind-Never Let You Go
So summery, so poppy, so perfect. Floats into your head and never lets you go.
Kings of Leon-The Bucket
Ah young love! Um, at least that is what I think it’s about…
Kings of Leon-Sex On Fire
You know a song has made it when brahskis play an acoustic cover at a sports bar. Yep, it happened, but it somehow didn’t diminish the power of “Sex On Fire”.
The Hold Steady-Little Hoodrat Friend
Craig Finn, you lied! You did get with the little hoodrat. I gotta admit though, she did sound easy and sort of fun.
The Hold Steady-Killer Parties
Just what did Charlemange do? And it really sounds like Ybor City knows how to get down.
Kings of Leon-Knocked Up
A Southern Gothic “Young Turks” that seems too short at 7 minutes
Eminem-Lose Yourself
If this doesn’t get you amped, nothing will. Also, no references to killing women! How novel.
OutKast-Miss Jackson
Best sample of “Here Comes The Bride” ever. Maybe the only one, too. Of course, Andre plays the sweetheart while Big Boi discusses how his member is in a mouth.
Joe-I Wanna Know
A song so undeniably pretty, so syrupy sweet, so old school loverman perfect it’s undeniable.
MGMT-Electric Feel
All blissed out beats and baby girls who shock like electric eels. Where is this place?
The Futureheads-Hounds of Love
Best Kate Bush cover. Ever.
Paul Westerberg-As Far As I Know
“I’m in love with someone who doesn’t exist.” We all are, Paul. We all are.
The Game-Wouldn't Get Far
Love em and leave em. Did you know video "vixens" drive Honda Accords? True story. Thanks The Game!
Modest Mouse-Float On
An anthem of our generation? Yes sir.
Death Cab For Cutie-Expo 86
The coolest Expo themed pop culture moment since Bart and Millhouse trashed the SunSphere.
Death Cab For Cutie-The Sound of Settling
Settling never sounded so earnest.
Death Cab For Cutie-Crooked Teeth
Lamenting drunken crushes and the beauty of it all…
Queens of The Stone Age-In The Fade
QTOSA gets all wistful about death or something with a former Screaming Tree and one hell of a guitar riff.
Queens of the Stone Age-No One Knows
According to my dad, it sounded like “Alabama Song” by the Doors. According to me, it rocked hard as hell.
Deftones-Change (In The House of Flies)
The crowning moment in the career of one Chino Moreno.
Jay-Z-Girls Girls Girls
Best punchline of the decade…the Chinese girl kept bootlegging his shit.
Jay-Z-Roc Boys
Speech! Also beat the Black Eyed Peas to the punch with the whole Jewish toasting thing in a rap song by almost 2 years…
The Killers-When You Were Young
Bigger than the Wild West and more exciting than a hurricane.
The Killers-Somebody Told Me
A song about androgynous love, by a married Mormon dude.
Dr. Dre-The Next Episode
Fucker made us wait 7 years. Damn, it was worth it.
Snoop Dogg-Drop It Like Its Hot
More acapella than “Don’t Worry Be Happy”. Also twice as badass.
Justin Timberlake-Like I Love You
MJ turned this one down to come with “You Rock My World”. Um, way to launch a career Mike.
Kaiser Chiefs-You Can Have It All
Brit pop lives!
Ghostface Killah-Childz Play
For those who didn’t hump the pillow when you were young, Ghostface has some words for you…
Nas-Ether
Jay-Z won the popularity battle, but my god, did Nas win the war.
OK GO-There’s A Fire
How this song was not on Nick Gilder’s debut album is beyond me. Killer new wave pop.
UGK/OutKast-International Players Anthem
Built around one of the most killer samples of all time, it was like a tag team royal rumble of awesome where everybody claimed the strap.
The Roots/Cody ChesnuTT-The Seed 2.0
Sheer fire. Rap, rock, R n B all in one package.
The Dream-Shawty is The Shit!
The Dream is fat, he likes girls who make him pancakes and grits and all that pimp shit. Oh yay-er!
HAL-Plays The Hits
The Beach Boys would have murdered someone for this gem. Or at least had Uncle Charlie and his Fam do some damage…
AND NOW...THE NUMBER ONE SONG OF THE LAST TEN YEARS!
R. Kelly – Ignition (Remix)
We just lived through a pretty pitiful decade. Two wars, the economy is in the shitter, American Idol, Brahski culture, 9/11, etc. Wasn’t it nice when you didn’t have to think about shit like that? When all you had to do was, “bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce” and think of the freakin’ weekend? And ride that beat that was lighter than Jell-o salad?
Monday, January 11, 2010
Best Singles of the Last Decade (Part 1)
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Saturday, January 02, 2010
Best Albums of the Last Decade (Part 2)
#26 Common-Be
Common at his poppiest, and at his best lyrically. Even at the time, it felt like there was nowhere to go but down for Com (well, “Finding Forever” was pretty swell, but you saw the cracks). Too bad it was true…but at least we have the genius of “The Food” and “They Say”.
#25 Coup-Party Music
Raps “Communist Manifesto”. The funkiest song ever about murdering capitalists (“5 Million Ways to Kill a CEO”) and the best love jam about a woman lying about being your baby mama (“Nowalaters”). An album Castro would rock out to.
#24 Ghostface Killah - Supreme Clientele
A nice balance of crime pays raps and childhood whimsy done in the GFK way.
#23 OutKast - Speakerboxx/The Love Below
More than just "Hey Ya!", this disc would have made it on the sheer charisma of Andre 3000 alone. Throw in Big Boi's disc, and you've got a killer.
#22 Deftones-White Pony
Quite possibly the only album from the “Nu-Metal” genre that actually matters almost ten years later. The reason for this was variety. Songs like “Change” and “Teenager” had more depth than say, Linkin Park or Korn. And who can really deny the awesomeness of a song called “Knife Party”?
#21 Jay-Z The Black Album
A monster. From the all black cover, to the black backed disc, to Rick Rubin telling Jay-Z to go hard about his problems. It was understood that his problem wasn’t a bitch (seriously, Beyonce a problem?) nor was it finding the perfect beat (“Lucifer” and “Dirt Off Your Shoulder” spring to mind). The only problem was that The Black Album felt like the perfect career closer, an A plus. Jay-Z would make competent music again, but nothing like this.
#20 Green Day-Warning
Green Day did a 180 with “Warning” and decided that The Kinks were awesome. They made a good choice, because the title track and “Church on Sunday” stand up as two of the best rock songs of the last ten years. They would go back to their roots with their next album, but for one shining moment, Green Day flashed back to the garage.
#19 Death Cab For Cutie-Transatlanticism
Never has there been so much longing on one disc. I have probably played “Expo ‘86” 200 times since I bought this album back in 2004, and “I am waiting for something to go wrong/I am waiting for familiar results” never fails to make my heart twinge. Oh, and settling never sounded so pretty, with its bah-bah chorus.
#18 Kanye West - Graduation
Tighter and less sprawling than his previous two albums, "Graduation" wallops with sheer fire cuts such as "The Good Life" and "Champion".
#17 Ben Kweller-Sha Sha
When this album came out, the way I described it to friends was “Billy Joel meets Weezer”. Rockers like “Commerce, TX” and “Wasted and Ready” were power pop gems and the album closer “Falling” would have been right at home on “52nd Street”.
#16 Pearl Jam-S/T
The men of Pearl spent most of the decade in a holding pattern, releasing subpar discs with a few good songs on each. Then the “Avocado” album dropped, and all was forgiven. Avocado rocked harder than any other Pearl Jam disc (yes, that includes “Ten”) and switched the political focus from one man (Dubbya) to the ills of war and unemployment.
#15 Queens of the Stone Age-Rated R
Musically, it sounds like a bad trip through the desert. Then you listen to the absolute depth of lyrics. Just kidding, the lyrics are all bad trip mindfucks. “Feel Good Hit of The Summer” had only seven drugs referenced in the lyrics. “Monster In The Parasol” was, according to the band, about “Fuckin’ on E”. Strange that high school stoners didn’t make this the new “Dark Side of the Moon”.
#14 Vampire Weekend – S/T
If one album of the last couple of years deserves to be ridiculed, it may be this one. Ironic Lil John references, check. World music leanings, check. But somehow it lives up to the ungodly hype (the cover of SPIN before the album even came out) with pop gems like “The Kids Don’t Stand a Chance” and “A-Punk”.
#13 The Hold Steady-Separation Sunday
Everyone listening had an inkling that Holly was the Hoodrat, but the journey to how the listener finds this out is the real treat. Who knew that a concept album about losing yourself and finding your own personal resurrection could rock so fucking hard?
#12 At The Drive In-Relationship of Command
A very diverse set for a band that was labeled punk at the time. One Armed Scissor was the big hit, but the song that matters most is “Invalid Letter Dept.”, a quasi ballad about the disappearances of women along the US-Mexican border. Also a perfect example of the sum being better than its parts, as the two bands that came out of ATDI (Sparta and Mars Volta) were very inconsistent.
#11 Weezer-Green Album
The anticipation for this album was like nothing I have ever experienced. “Where did they go?” “Did you hear that Rivers guy was in an asylum or something?” Then “Hash Pipe” dropped (I heard it for the first time on some alt station while crossing the Skyway Bridge in St.Petersburg my senior year) and the true believers knew something interesting was going to happen. Interesting turned out to be “Photograph” and “Island in the Sun” which would have sat fine on The Blue Album.
#10 The Streets-A Grand Don’t Come for Free
If there is one album that needs to be made into a movie from the last decade, it would be “A Grand Don’t Come For Free” (Well, maybe this and “Separation Sunday”). It’s a day in the life of a bloke, a day where this bloke does a shit load of drugs, drinks a lot, cheats on his woman, loses his woman, etc. Sure the ending of the story is a little convoluted (really, how could all that money fall into the back of a TV?) but like any great story, it’s the journey that interests, not the ending.
#9 Lyrics Born-Later That Day
The best party album of the decade. Later That Day was a rap album but played more like some 70s party funk shit, rocking the casbah with “Callin Out” and “Bad Dreams.” LB even gives you something for the end of the party (super love jam “Love Me So Bad”).
#8 White Stripes-White Blood Cells
True story. I brought this album over to a friend’s house the day I bought it (based on the “Hotel Yorba” video on MTV the night before). I also had bought “The Guest” by Phantom Planet the same day. The buddy made me take out the White Stripes, saying that they sucked. Guess what album has gotten more play in the last seven years?
#7 Killers-Sams Town
Most critics bust metaphorical nuts over the dance heavy “Hot Fuss”. Most critics are wrong. Sam’s Town slays the other Killers albums released this decade because of the raw emotion it conveys. Sure, the lyrics about Grandma Dixie’s wake and reading minds seem a little corny, but they are delivered with some Springsteen-esqe heart. And, how fucking great is “When You Were Young” still three years after its release?
#6 The Shins-Chutes Too Narrow
Like "Transatlanticism", an album that signaled a sea-change in music and culture right before the Bush-Kerry showdown (hey, the indie kids are owning it). The first album may have changed Zach Braff’s life, but Chutes was more consistent. Tracks like “Kissing The Lipless” and “Turn a Square” had some mighty vague lyrics (“Tennis shorts made of stripes”?) but the music let you in on the secrets the words did not.
#5 Jimmy Eat World-Bleed American
The most Emo of the emo, but not in a bad way, “Bleed American” (later retitled Jimmy Eat World due to 9/11) felt like young love and hope, with a bit of classic nostalgia thrown in for good measure. “The Middle” went top 5 and was on “Kidz Bop!” but the lyric that sums up the album is from “If You Don’t, Don’t.” “We once walked down on the beach/and once I almost touched your hand”. Now if you don’t feel a heart twitter from that, well, my friends you have never been emo.
#4 The Strokes- Is This It?
The death knell for shitty rap rock acts, "Is This It?" ushered in a new era of rockin that looked toward the past for a glimpse into the future. Oh yeah, and it was also really really fun. I can remember where I was when I saw the video for "Last Nite" (my parents basement) and I can remember what I was thinking ("these guys are going to take over the world"). Too bad it didn't happen like that, but for one shining moment post 9/11, The Strokes brought it.
#3 Jay-Z-The Blueprint
AKA “Kanye West’s Rookie Card.” Mister West produced three of the most classic on an album of classics (“Takeover”, “Izzo (H.O.V.A)” and “Heart of the City”) and put himself on the map while elevating Jigga to new heights. To quote Jay-Z himself, this album was so motherfuckin soulful.
#2 Kings Of Leon-Aha Shake Heartbreak
The greasiest, nastiest, most bored album of the decade. There’s gonna be a fight, someone would come all over your party if he could if that damn coke would wear off, and there will be a king of the rodeo at the gathering. In the middle of it all, a hit single about love and premature baldness. Who knew they would sell out the Garden? Who KNEW?
#1 The Hold Steady-Boys and Girls In America
Ah yes, the album of the decade. What can be said about an album that crams so many things into so little space? Craig Finn has the undeniable ability to make you care about the characters he created, a trait that he shares with Dylan and Springsteen. Some may say that I rate this album of the decade due to the fact that I know some of the things Finn speaks on (I worked at the Northtown Mall for three years, I currently spend 50 hours a week Southtown, I have a semi-intimate knowledge of Osseo) but that is not the case. It’s the music, the muscle bound guitar, the keyboards. It’s the stories (Why didn’t the dude at the Chillout Tent get that girls number? Is there really a girl who knows the winners of every horse race? How did those two fuckups win Prom King and Queen?). The Hold Steady speak on truths, on hope, on America viewed through the eyes of a nice Catholic boy from Edina. The perfect storm of story, music and lack of pretense was just what was needed by me (and I can only assume others) in a pretty awful era. And that is why Boys And Girls in America is the album of the decade.
Common at his poppiest, and at his best lyrically. Even at the time, it felt like there was nowhere to go but down for Com (well, “Finding Forever” was pretty swell, but you saw the cracks). Too bad it was true…but at least we have the genius of “The Food” and “They Say”.
#25 Coup-Party Music
Raps “Communist Manifesto”. The funkiest song ever about murdering capitalists (“5 Million Ways to Kill a CEO”) and the best love jam about a woman lying about being your baby mama (“Nowalaters”). An album Castro would rock out to.
#24 Ghostface Killah - Supreme Clientele
A nice balance of crime pays raps and childhood whimsy done in the GFK way.
#23 OutKast - Speakerboxx/The Love Below
More than just "Hey Ya!", this disc would have made it on the sheer charisma of Andre 3000 alone. Throw in Big Boi's disc, and you've got a killer.
#22 Deftones-White Pony
Quite possibly the only album from the “Nu-Metal” genre that actually matters almost ten years later. The reason for this was variety. Songs like “Change” and “Teenager” had more depth than say, Linkin Park or Korn. And who can really deny the awesomeness of a song called “Knife Party”?
#21 Jay-Z The Black Album
A monster. From the all black cover, to the black backed disc, to Rick Rubin telling Jay-Z to go hard about his problems. It was understood that his problem wasn’t a bitch (seriously, Beyonce a problem?) nor was it finding the perfect beat (“Lucifer” and “Dirt Off Your Shoulder” spring to mind). The only problem was that The Black Album felt like the perfect career closer, an A plus. Jay-Z would make competent music again, but nothing like this.
#20 Green Day-Warning
Green Day did a 180 with “Warning” and decided that The Kinks were awesome. They made a good choice, because the title track and “Church on Sunday” stand up as two of the best rock songs of the last ten years. They would go back to their roots with their next album, but for one shining moment, Green Day flashed back to the garage.
#19 Death Cab For Cutie-Transatlanticism
Never has there been so much longing on one disc. I have probably played “Expo ‘86” 200 times since I bought this album back in 2004, and “I am waiting for something to go wrong/I am waiting for familiar results” never fails to make my heart twinge. Oh, and settling never sounded so pretty, with its bah-bah chorus.
#18 Kanye West - Graduation
Tighter and less sprawling than his previous two albums, "Graduation" wallops with sheer fire cuts such as "The Good Life" and "Champion".
#17 Ben Kweller-Sha Sha
When this album came out, the way I described it to friends was “Billy Joel meets Weezer”. Rockers like “Commerce, TX” and “Wasted and Ready” were power pop gems and the album closer “Falling” would have been right at home on “52nd Street”.
#16 Pearl Jam-S/T
The men of Pearl spent most of the decade in a holding pattern, releasing subpar discs with a few good songs on each. Then the “Avocado” album dropped, and all was forgiven. Avocado rocked harder than any other Pearl Jam disc (yes, that includes “Ten”) and switched the political focus from one man (Dubbya) to the ills of war and unemployment.
#15 Queens of the Stone Age-Rated R
Musically, it sounds like a bad trip through the desert. Then you listen to the absolute depth of lyrics. Just kidding, the lyrics are all bad trip mindfucks. “Feel Good Hit of The Summer” had only seven drugs referenced in the lyrics. “Monster In The Parasol” was, according to the band, about “Fuckin’ on E”. Strange that high school stoners didn’t make this the new “Dark Side of the Moon”.
#14 Vampire Weekend – S/T
If one album of the last couple of years deserves to be ridiculed, it may be this one. Ironic Lil John references, check. World music leanings, check. But somehow it lives up to the ungodly hype (the cover of SPIN before the album even came out) with pop gems like “The Kids Don’t Stand a Chance” and “A-Punk”.
#13 The Hold Steady-Separation Sunday
Everyone listening had an inkling that Holly was the Hoodrat, but the journey to how the listener finds this out is the real treat. Who knew that a concept album about losing yourself and finding your own personal resurrection could rock so fucking hard?
#12 At The Drive In-Relationship of Command
A very diverse set for a band that was labeled punk at the time. One Armed Scissor was the big hit, but the song that matters most is “Invalid Letter Dept.”, a quasi ballad about the disappearances of women along the US-Mexican border. Also a perfect example of the sum being better than its parts, as the two bands that came out of ATDI (Sparta and Mars Volta) were very inconsistent.
#11 Weezer-Green Album
The anticipation for this album was like nothing I have ever experienced. “Where did they go?” “Did you hear that Rivers guy was in an asylum or something?” Then “Hash Pipe” dropped (I heard it for the first time on some alt station while crossing the Skyway Bridge in St.Petersburg my senior year) and the true believers knew something interesting was going to happen. Interesting turned out to be “Photograph” and “Island in the Sun” which would have sat fine on The Blue Album.
#10 The Streets-A Grand Don’t Come for Free
If there is one album that needs to be made into a movie from the last decade, it would be “A Grand Don’t Come For Free” (Well, maybe this and “Separation Sunday”). It’s a day in the life of a bloke, a day where this bloke does a shit load of drugs, drinks a lot, cheats on his woman, loses his woman, etc. Sure the ending of the story is a little convoluted (really, how could all that money fall into the back of a TV?) but like any great story, it’s the journey that interests, not the ending.
#9 Lyrics Born-Later That Day
The best party album of the decade. Later That Day was a rap album but played more like some 70s party funk shit, rocking the casbah with “Callin Out” and “Bad Dreams.” LB even gives you something for the end of the party (super love jam “Love Me So Bad”).
#8 White Stripes-White Blood Cells
True story. I brought this album over to a friend’s house the day I bought it (based on the “Hotel Yorba” video on MTV the night before). I also had bought “The Guest” by Phantom Planet the same day. The buddy made me take out the White Stripes, saying that they sucked. Guess what album has gotten more play in the last seven years?
#7 Killers-Sams Town
Most critics bust metaphorical nuts over the dance heavy “Hot Fuss”. Most critics are wrong. Sam’s Town slays the other Killers albums released this decade because of the raw emotion it conveys. Sure, the lyrics about Grandma Dixie’s wake and reading minds seem a little corny, but they are delivered with some Springsteen-esqe heart. And, how fucking great is “When You Were Young” still three years after its release?
#6 The Shins-Chutes Too Narrow
Like "Transatlanticism", an album that signaled a sea-change in music and culture right before the Bush-Kerry showdown (hey, the indie kids are owning it). The first album may have changed Zach Braff’s life, but Chutes was more consistent. Tracks like “Kissing The Lipless” and “Turn a Square” had some mighty vague lyrics (“Tennis shorts made of stripes”?) but the music let you in on the secrets the words did not.
#5 Jimmy Eat World-Bleed American
The most Emo of the emo, but not in a bad way, “Bleed American” (later retitled Jimmy Eat World due to 9/11) felt like young love and hope, with a bit of classic nostalgia thrown in for good measure. “The Middle” went top 5 and was on “Kidz Bop!” but the lyric that sums up the album is from “If You Don’t, Don’t.” “We once walked down on the beach/and once I almost touched your hand”. Now if you don’t feel a heart twitter from that, well, my friends you have never been emo.
#4 The Strokes- Is This It?
The death knell for shitty rap rock acts, "Is This It?" ushered in a new era of rockin that looked toward the past for a glimpse into the future. Oh yeah, and it was also really really fun. I can remember where I was when I saw the video for "Last Nite" (my parents basement) and I can remember what I was thinking ("these guys are going to take over the world"). Too bad it didn't happen like that, but for one shining moment post 9/11, The Strokes brought it.
#3 Jay-Z-The Blueprint
AKA “Kanye West’s Rookie Card.” Mister West produced three of the most classic on an album of classics (“Takeover”, “Izzo (H.O.V.A)” and “Heart of the City”) and put himself on the map while elevating Jigga to new heights. To quote Jay-Z himself, this album was so motherfuckin soulful.
#2 Kings Of Leon-Aha Shake Heartbreak
The greasiest, nastiest, most bored album of the decade. There’s gonna be a fight, someone would come all over your party if he could if that damn coke would wear off, and there will be a king of the rodeo at the gathering. In the middle of it all, a hit single about love and premature baldness. Who knew they would sell out the Garden? Who KNEW?
#1 The Hold Steady-Boys and Girls In America
Ah yes, the album of the decade. What can be said about an album that crams so many things into so little space? Craig Finn has the undeniable ability to make you care about the characters he created, a trait that he shares with Dylan and Springsteen. Some may say that I rate this album of the decade due to the fact that I know some of the things Finn speaks on (I worked at the Northtown Mall for three years, I currently spend 50 hours a week Southtown, I have a semi-intimate knowledge of Osseo) but that is not the case. It’s the music, the muscle bound guitar, the keyboards. It’s the stories (Why didn’t the dude at the Chillout Tent get that girls number? Is there really a girl who knows the winners of every horse race? How did those two fuckups win Prom King and Queen?). The Hold Steady speak on truths, on hope, on America viewed through the eyes of a nice Catholic boy from Edina. The perfect storm of story, music and lack of pretense was just what was needed by me (and I can only assume others) in a pretty awful era. And that is why Boys And Girls in America is the album of the decade.
Best Albums of the Last Decade (Part 1)
So here you go. My interpretation of the best of the best of the last ten years. I will publish the best tracks of the decade, the TWO! lists I got from readers, and the best of 09 list later this week...
The better, star studded follow up to the critical darling (but sort of lacking) "The College Dropout." If you don't like "Gold Digger," you weren't 21 and at a bar when it dropped.
#35 Arcade Fire-Funeral
Sounding a lot more like classic rock than the indie hipsters would want you to believe, “Funeral” combined orchestral flourishes and driving backbeats in 2004 like no other album.
#34 Radiohead-In Rainbows
The secret best Radiohead album of the 2000’s. Sure, “Kid A” was more influential. But “In Rainbows” was where “The Bends” met “Kid A” and grew up. Rockin’ at some points, contemplative at others, and just downright gorgeous at others (“Videotape”).
#33 Alkaline Trio – From Here To Infirmary
The pop punk album Elvis Costello would have made had he debuted in 1995. Happy shiny riffs coupled with biting lyrics about being a drunk fuckup who loses women and friends. Who could forget as wonderful a line is “Remember when I said I loved you?/Well forget it I take it back”?
#32 TV On The Radio-Dear Science
#31 Phoenix-Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
The album where Phoenix finally put it all together. Other albums had killer singles and filler, where “Wolfgang” had nothing but killer pop anthems. Rightfully so, “1901” became the groups first hit in the US.
#30 Ghostface Killah-Fishscale
The best surrealist painting in the history of rap music. Yes, the album was about coke (a rap sub-genre that I absolutely hate). But Fishscale was so much more than that. So many specific product references dot the tracks it feels like Dutch Masters, Snapple and Pyrex were paying GFK, and I am sure that “Underwater” had nothing to do with coke and waaaaayy more to do with LSD. Spongebob in a Bentley, really?
#29 New Pornographers-Electric Version
Power pop for now people!
#28 NERD-…In Search Of
In 2002, Pharrell was king, Chad Hugo was his resident alchemist, and that Shay dude sat on the fucking couch and played Madden. Together they made beautiful music about lapdances, boob-kissing, hauling coke, being rock stars, and running into the sun. A kick ass party album from guys who knew how to get down.
#27 Flaming Lips-Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots
The perfect album for smoking joints in a Honda Civic (not like that ever happened to me…). Sunshine-y tunes about Japanese girls and robots with some of the most humane lyrics of the decade (“Do You Realize?” and “Fight Test” should be required listening for anyone without a soul).
Honorable Mentions:
Here are some of the albums that I considered for the top 50 but just didn't make the cut. Its not that they weren't classic albums, its that they just had one flaw (in my opinion) that kept them from cracking the big list.
Fiona Apple -"Extraordinary Machine", D'Angelo -"Voodoo", The Libertines "Up The Bracket", Beck "Sea Change", Johnny Cash "American IV"
Editors note: I would also like to add The Gaslight Anthem "The '59 Sound" and Against Me! "New Wave" to the list as #50B and #50C. That is the great thing about lists. You can always change them...
And now, to quote the immortal Casey Kasem..."on with the countdown"
#50 Cody ChesnuTT-The headphone masterpiece
You have to love the balls. A no-name records an album in his house and calls it a masterpiece. Funny thing was, he wasn’t lying. The album runs the gamut from wistful (“In The Treehouse”) to hilarious (“Bitch I’m Broke”) to straight up rockin’ (“Young Upstarts in a Blowout”, “Look Good In Leather”). Too bad Mister ChesnuTT gave up the ghost after this one…but maybe its all he had in the tank.
#49 Ben Folds -Rockin' The Suburbs
#48 Franz Ferdinand - S/T
Or as David Lee Roth may have said it "Dance the night away." Pretty sure DLR wasn't dancing with dudes named Michael though.
#47 The Hold Steady-Almost Killed Me
#46 Kings of Leon - Only By the Night
#45 Radiohead - Kid A
I remember people skipping school for this beast senior year. Skip school for a record? Do people even do shit like that anymore? Oh, and "The National Anthem" and its brothers on this disc lived up to the hype.
#44 Beck -Guero
The funkiest disc since "Odelay", "Guero" was a hell of a lot more fun than "Sea Change".
#43 Get Up Kids - On A Wire
Some of the most heartbreaking songs of the decade tempered with a Beatles-esqe bounce.
#42 Green Day- American Idiot
After “American Idiot” came out, I unfairly called it better than “Dookie”. I was wrong. Some people can’t get around the “political” nature of the album, but its more of a story of bored and sad teenagers than one about Bush. Remember, American Idiots were around long before Dubbya and will be here long after.
#41 Interpol-Antics
Interpol came out of the gate being called a Joy Division clone. “Antics” disproved this theory, and how! Songs like “C’Mere” and “Slow Hands” boomed with anthemic intensity. Too bad Interpol wouldn’t hit heights like this again.
#40 Wilco - A Ghost Is Born
#39 Eagles of Death Metal – Peace, Love, Death Metal
A nonstop throwdown on wax, one that involves Frenching the devil, apple wine and Stealers Wheel. Josh Homme claimed that this is what the Eagles would sound like if they were a death metal band. The Eagles only wish they could kick this much skuzzy ass.
#38 Prince-Musicology
In which one of the GOATs decides to quit fucking around with avant garde bullshit and make something straightforward. It sold like hotcakes and contained some of the funkiest shit the mans dropped in years (“Illusion, Coma, Pimp and Circumstance” and “Musicology” were undeniable). A trip back in the day while still seeming thoroughly modern.
#37 The Darkness-Permission To Land
We all knew had a feeling this was going to be a flash in the pan, a one off. But what a fucking ride it was! If you didn’t smile the first time you heard Justin Hawkins sing “I Believe In a Thing Called Love” like he was channeling some mutant Freddie Mercury, you have no soul. Songs about genital warts “Growing On Me” and school activities “Friday Night” were aural Velveeta—cheesy, bad for you but oh so goddamned good.
The better, star studded follow up to the critical darling (but sort of lacking) "The College Dropout." If you don't like "Gold Digger," you weren't 21 and at a bar when it dropped.
#35 Arcade Fire-Funeral
Sounding a lot more like classic rock than the indie hipsters would want you to believe, “Funeral” combined orchestral flourishes and driving backbeats in 2004 like no other album.
#34 Radiohead-In Rainbows
The secret best Radiohead album of the 2000’s. Sure, “Kid A” was more influential. But “In Rainbows” was where “The Bends” met “Kid A” and grew up. Rockin’ at some points, contemplative at others, and just downright gorgeous at others (“Videotape”).
#33 Alkaline Trio – From Here To Infirmary
The pop punk album Elvis Costello would have made had he debuted in 1995. Happy shiny riffs coupled with biting lyrics about being a drunk fuckup who loses women and friends. Who could forget as wonderful a line is “Remember when I said I loved you?/Well forget it I take it back”?
#32 TV On The Radio-Dear Science
#31 Phoenix-Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
The album where Phoenix finally put it all together. Other albums had killer singles and filler, where “Wolfgang” had nothing but killer pop anthems. Rightfully so, “1901” became the groups first hit in the US.
#30 Ghostface Killah-Fishscale
The best surrealist painting in the history of rap music. Yes, the album was about coke (a rap sub-genre that I absolutely hate). But Fishscale was so much more than that. So many specific product references dot the tracks it feels like Dutch Masters, Snapple and Pyrex were paying GFK, and I am sure that “Underwater” had nothing to do with coke and waaaaayy more to do with LSD. Spongebob in a Bentley, really?
#29 New Pornographers-Electric Version
Power pop for now people!
#28 NERD-…In Search Of
In 2002, Pharrell was king, Chad Hugo was his resident alchemist, and that Shay dude sat on the fucking couch and played Madden. Together they made beautiful music about lapdances, boob-kissing, hauling coke, being rock stars, and running into the sun. A kick ass party album from guys who knew how to get down.
#27 Flaming Lips-Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots
The perfect album for smoking joints in a Honda Civic (not like that ever happened to me…). Sunshine-y tunes about Japanese girls and robots with some of the most humane lyrics of the decade (“Do You Realize?” and “Fight Test” should be required listening for anyone without a soul).
Monday, December 28, 2009
Mad About Mad Men
I received Mad Men seasons 1 and 2 for Christmas this year. I enjoyed both season 2 and 3 of this marvelous show previously, but after watching season one this weekend, I have to say this.
Mad Men may be the best drama that I have ever seen.
All the characters are perfectly developed, from the lowly secretaries getting sexually harassed in order to land a husband all the way up to the main characters. Every glance, every word has meaning. For those who idealize the 60s as some sort of utopia before the hippies came along, Mad Men tears a huge hole in that theory.
Don Draper, the big swinging head of the Sterling Cooper ad agency, drinks, smokes and cheats his way to the top of Madison Avenue. He's a strange sort of anti-hero, but while watching, you can't help but love him. Actually, all the characters are sort of reprehensible, but that is what makes the show go. They are real people, or at least as real as people on TV can be.
Draper also has a good run of mistresses. His wife is a sexy robot type, but he seems to pick women with substance. The Jewish department store owner. The beatnik chick. The teacher. All are compensating for the shallowness of a supposedly perfect life. Just another layer of complexity in this brilliant show.
Mad Men may be the best drama that I have ever seen.
All the characters are perfectly developed, from the lowly secretaries getting sexually harassed in order to land a husband all the way up to the main characters. Every glance, every word has meaning. For those who idealize the 60s as some sort of utopia before the hippies came along, Mad Men tears a huge hole in that theory.
Don Draper, the big swinging head of the Sterling Cooper ad agency, drinks, smokes and cheats his way to the top of Madison Avenue. He's a strange sort of anti-hero, but while watching, you can't help but love him. Actually, all the characters are sort of reprehensible, but that is what makes the show go. They are real people, or at least as real as people on TV can be.
Draper also has a good run of mistresses. His wife is a sexy robot type, but he seems to pick women with substance. The Jewish department store owner. The beatnik chick. The teacher. All are compensating for the shallowness of a supposedly perfect life. Just another layer of complexity in this brilliant show.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Albums/Singles of the 2000s
Loyal readers,
I would like some submissions for albums/singles of the last decade (2000-2009). Length can be whatever you like, choices can be whatever you like (diversity breeds goodness). Please email your submissions by 12/31/09 to JDE1112@hotmail.com.
Oh, and no jokes. I don't want a top five consisting of Nickelback songs.
Thanks,
Jake Eickholt
I would like some submissions for albums/singles of the last decade (2000-2009). Length can be whatever you like, choices can be whatever you like (diversity breeds goodness). Please email your submissions by 12/31/09 to JDE1112@hotmail.com.
Oh, and no jokes. I don't want a top five consisting of Nickelback songs.
Thanks,
Jake Eickholt
Monday, December 07, 2009
Vampire Weekend - Everywhere (Cover)
80s Fleetwood Mac sort of sucked, but it had its moments..."Everywhere" was one of my highlights. And Vampire Weekend straight up kills this cover.
I Want You Back
Sometimes I reminisce over my life and this reminiscence comes back to one overwhelming thing: products that no longer exist that I wish did. Well, either that or drunken times in college. ANYWAYS...here are a few things I wish came back from the dead.
Cookies and Creme Twix-God, these things were good. It was a cookie layer and a cream layer covered in chocolate. The good folks at Twix started pimping PB Twix, and that was the end of the Cookies and Creme
Apple Slice-Pepsi used to make Apple, Cherry, Orange, Lemon Lime and Dr Slice. Then it was just Orange, Lemon Lime and Dr. Now, its none of the above. Apple Slice tasted like Apple Snapple, only carbonated. It was heavenly.
CD Singles/45s/Cassingles-If only for the B-Sides. I remember buying the singles from the first Third Eye Blind album just for the B-Sides (and yes, that album is incredibly underrated). You just don't get that value added with digital downloads.
Instruction Manuals for Video games-I remember getting Super Mario 2 for Chirstmas when I was 8 and reading about the transsexual dinosaur named Birdo that shot eggs out of its snout. Sure, games still come with manuals, but where are the crazy ass backstory to confuse an 8 year old boy?
Snack Wells Yogurt-Especially the chocolate cherry variety. I would throw one of those joints in the freezer and it was like frozen yogurt but only better.
McPatty Melt from McDonalds-A quarter pounder on rye bread with fried onions and Cheez Whiz. I remember eating 2 of these during a blizzard on the way to a North Stars-Maple Leafs game and falling in love.
An Alt-Rock Radio Station in MPLS-Sure, we have the Current, but I can only stand so much sub-par dead air from DJs and mindless twee pop. I want balls to the wall stations like Zone 105 and The Edge, stations that only had 30 song playlists and featured a "flashback lunch".
Anything else, loyal reader(s)?
Cookies and Creme Twix-God, these things were good. It was a cookie layer and a cream layer covered in chocolate. The good folks at Twix started pimping PB Twix, and that was the end of the Cookies and Creme
Apple Slice-Pepsi used to make Apple, Cherry, Orange, Lemon Lime and Dr Slice. Then it was just Orange, Lemon Lime and Dr. Now, its none of the above. Apple Slice tasted like Apple Snapple, only carbonated. It was heavenly.
CD Singles/45s/Cassingles-If only for the B-Sides. I remember buying the singles from the first Third Eye Blind album just for the B-Sides (and yes, that album is incredibly underrated). You just don't get that value added with digital downloads.
Instruction Manuals for Video games-I remember getting Super Mario 2 for Chirstmas when I was 8 and reading about the transsexual dinosaur named Birdo that shot eggs out of its snout. Sure, games still come with manuals, but where are the crazy ass backstory to confuse an 8 year old boy?
Snack Wells Yogurt-Especially the chocolate cherry variety. I would throw one of those joints in the freezer and it was like frozen yogurt but only better.
McPatty Melt from McDonalds-A quarter pounder on rye bread with fried onions and Cheez Whiz. I remember eating 2 of these during a blizzard on the way to a North Stars-Maple Leafs game and falling in love.
An Alt-Rock Radio Station in MPLS-Sure, we have the Current, but I can only stand so much sub-par dead air from DJs and mindless twee pop. I want balls to the wall stations like Zone 105 and The Edge, stations that only had 30 song playlists and featured a "flashback lunch".
Anything else, loyal reader(s)?
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Record Show Journal 12/5/09
The Uptown VFW was once again the host to a record show today. And once again, the collection of folk who like to dig through piles of hot wax did not fail to disappoint.
Record shows usually draw out three broad groups of people. There are the old burnouts who love rambling about seeing Blue Cheer back in '68. There are the smelly dorks rocking Starter jackets looking for first pressings of obscure garage records. And finally there are the hipster kids with their gigantic 80s glasses, skinny jeans and neck beards who sell weird metal and "noise" records. I have a love/hate relationship with them all. I love them due to the fact that I can obtain KISS records for pennies on the dollar from the elitist burnouts and dorks, and I hate them because they have no concept of personal space or public decorum.
The show is always a great place to eavesdrop on stupid conversations about freak pop culture things you would hear no where else. Today, I heard two unwashed 40 somethings talk about NWA Wrestling from Florida for at least a half an hour. I had walked away from the bins in their general area, came back, and they were still talking about Harley Race and Abdullah The Butcher. One actually called Barry Horrowitz a great wrestler. I was also offered "a great price on steaks" by some redneck in the parking lot. Yep, these are the kind of people I choose to spend my Saturdays with.
Today's show was a huge success for me personally due to two factors: one was the place smelled more like hamburgers and hot dogs and less like farts than it usually does, and two was that I got a ton of great records for cheap. Here's the haul:
-The Jam "Sound Affects"
-Bob Seger "Seven"
-The Music Explosion "Little Bit O' Soul"
-Issac Hayes "Black Moses
-Wizzard "Eddy and the Falcons"
-Dead Kennedys "In God We Trust, Etc"
-Dave Edmunds "Tracks on Wax"
-Stevie Wonder "My Cherie Amour"
-KISS "Double Platinum"
Total spent: 27 bucks. Well, 29 bucks if you count the enterance fee.
Record shows usually draw out three broad groups of people. There are the old burnouts who love rambling about seeing Blue Cheer back in '68. There are the smelly dorks rocking Starter jackets looking for first pressings of obscure garage records. And finally there are the hipster kids with their gigantic 80s glasses, skinny jeans and neck beards who sell weird metal and "noise" records. I have a love/hate relationship with them all. I love them due to the fact that I can obtain KISS records for pennies on the dollar from the elitist burnouts and dorks, and I hate them because they have no concept of personal space or public decorum.
The show is always a great place to eavesdrop on stupid conversations about freak pop culture things you would hear no where else. Today, I heard two unwashed 40 somethings talk about NWA Wrestling from Florida for at least a half an hour. I had walked away from the bins in their general area, came back, and they were still talking about Harley Race and Abdullah The Butcher. One actually called Barry Horrowitz a great wrestler. I was also offered "a great price on steaks" by some redneck in the parking lot. Yep, these are the kind of people I choose to spend my Saturdays with.
Today's show was a huge success for me personally due to two factors: one was the place smelled more like hamburgers and hot dogs and less like farts than it usually does, and two was that I got a ton of great records for cheap. Here's the haul:
-The Jam "Sound Affects"
-Bob Seger "Seven"
-The Music Explosion "Little Bit O' Soul"
-Issac Hayes "Black Moses
-Wizzard "Eddy and the Falcons"
-Dead Kennedys "In God We Trust, Etc"
-Dave Edmunds "Tracks on Wax"
-Stevie Wonder "My Cherie Amour"
-KISS "Double Platinum"
Total spent: 27 bucks. Well, 29 bucks if you count the enterance fee.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Catch Me Now I'm Falling
I am truly, madly, deeply-do in love with the song "Catch Me Now I'm Falling" by the Kinks at this moment. This deep tissue love started in the dining area of a Davannis, and I have been on the lookout for the CD on which the song is contained for a few months. Unfortunately, the CD ran $17.99 at my local Cheapo (I guess there is a high demand for late period British rock music). So I bought that ish on vinyl.
Let me tell you, the rest of the album Low Budget does not disappoint. It plays like some sort of bastard child of disco, punk and arena rock. Sort of like if the Van Halen cover of "You Really Got Me" had actually been remade by the OGs. Even the album cover feels a little glitter glam, with a stiletto walking over a ciggie boo with The Kinks and the album title stenciled in chalk on the sidewalk.
The big hit off the LP ("I Wish I Could Fly Like Superman") is mid-range disco rock cheez, not as bad as "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" and nowhere near as good as "Last Train to London." Still, an enjoyment for the $3.60 I spent for it.
Let me tell you, the rest of the album Low Budget does not disappoint. It plays like some sort of bastard child of disco, punk and arena rock. Sort of like if the Van Halen cover of "You Really Got Me" had actually been remade by the OGs. Even the album cover feels a little glitter glam, with a stiletto walking over a ciggie boo with The Kinks and the album title stenciled in chalk on the sidewalk.
The big hit off the LP ("I Wish I Could Fly Like Superman") is mid-range disco rock cheez, not as bad as "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" and nowhere near as good as "Last Train to London." Still, an enjoyment for the $3.60 I spent for it.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Pickin On Randoms 11/20/09
-Saw "Pirate Radio" the other night. Great movie, great music. It was one of those movies that, going into, I knew I was going to love. I mean, I have always been interested in British culture and the music of that time. Plus, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Murray from "Flight Of The Concords" and Ed from "Shaun of the Dead". According to Wikipedia, the DVD will have like an hour of extras. I can't wait.
-Picked up "I Might Be Wrong" by Radiohead in the cutout bin at HBP today. Its funny how when "Kid A" came out I thought it was the weirdest thing I had ever heard, and today it sounds like straight up rock music (granted with a ambient electronic edge). How Radiohead influenced a whole generation of bands (for better or worse) is something I haven't really realized until now.
-Bought Bill Simmons new "Book of Basketball". I haven't cracked its weary spine yet, but I'm pretty excited to. My relationship with Mister Simmons words is complex...I love some of the stuff he writes, but he dwells too much on shitty 80s movies ("Vision Quest" anyone?) and his brahski tendencies overwhelm occasionally. But the MFer knows his hoops, and hopefully the book dials down some of the Vegas references.
-Picked up "I Might Be Wrong" by Radiohead in the cutout bin at HBP today. Its funny how when "Kid A" came out I thought it was the weirdest thing I had ever heard, and today it sounds like straight up rock music (granted with a ambient electronic edge). How Radiohead influenced a whole generation of bands (for better or worse) is something I haven't really realized until now.
-Bought Bill Simmons new "Book of Basketball". I haven't cracked its weary spine yet, but I'm pretty excited to. My relationship with Mister Simmons words is complex...I love some of the stuff he writes, but he dwells too much on shitty 80s movies ("Vision Quest" anyone?) and his brahski tendencies overwhelm occasionally. But the MFer knows his hoops, and hopefully the book dials down some of the Vegas references.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
A Guy Walks into a Target...
Went to Target tonight for granola bars and the new Felt disc "Felt 3: A Tribute to Rosie Perez". Its pretty good, the beats are a lot harder than Felt 2 (on which I dug the harder edged jams more than the slow joints). Plus, there is a shout out to Pizza Luce in the liner notes. I mean, who doesn't want to validate the best pizza on earth...or at least outside of Chicago.
The Cuts! (Album Oriented Version)
Felt 3
Portishead-Third
King Khan and the Shrines- The Supreme Genius of...
Hall and Oates-Private Eyes
The Cuts! (Album Oriented Version)
Felt 3
Portishead-Third
King Khan and the Shrines- The Supreme Genius of...
Hall and Oates-Private Eyes
Monday, November 16, 2009
Litterbug...Clap, Clap...Litterbug
Recently, I was at a gathering thrown by one of my co-workers. I was keeping it cool, making small talk about people from work, sports, etc, until some non-co-worker types showed up. One of the girls went on a rant about people who don't recycle, apropos of nothing. This bothered the bejezzus out of me, for one reason:
I think recycling is bullshit, plain and simple.
Recycling is, in theory, great. But so are marriage and communism. I should preface this with the fact that I know no actual facts about what happens to what when I dump my cans, paper and glass into a garbage can that is picked up by the same Waste Management truck my garbage is. It just feels like all that "recyclable" refuge winds up right next to the Pampers and apple cores in the incinerator. Also, I get no monetary benefit from it. Finally, most people have sorta given up on recycling. Shit, when I lived in New Brighton, I wasn't even given the OPTION to recycle.
Anyways, I think I won the argument that night by throwing out two totally unrelated points. They were
-I also love to litter
-I am the realest person that this woman would ever meet
We became BFFs by the time point two was spoken, which goes to show, no one really cares that much about recycling anyways.
I think recycling is bullshit, plain and simple.
Recycling is, in theory, great. But so are marriage and communism. I should preface this with the fact that I know no actual facts about what happens to what when I dump my cans, paper and glass into a garbage can that is picked up by the same Waste Management truck my garbage is. It just feels like all that "recyclable" refuge winds up right next to the Pampers and apple cores in the incinerator. Also, I get no monetary benefit from it. Finally, most people have sorta given up on recycling. Shit, when I lived in New Brighton, I wasn't even given the OPTION to recycle.
Anyways, I think I won the argument that night by throwing out two totally unrelated points. They were
-I also love to litter
-I am the realest person that this woman would ever meet
We became BFFs by the time point two was spoken, which goes to show, no one really cares that much about recycling anyways.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
We Are The Goon Squad. And We're Coming To Town
Another Saturday Night, and I ain't got nobody...
In all actuality, that's not entirely correct. I do have Urban Meyer, Tim Tebow, and David Bowie in clown makeup to keep me company. Bowie at full blast, Urban and Tim in the background with the sound off. It's not like I really need the sound on to deduce that Meyer is saying something like "Tim Tebow is the best football player ever. He is also like a son to me, more so than my own sons." God, do I hate most college football...
The Bowie, well that's more important. Every time I fetishize on Bowie, I always go for one of two albums (those two being "The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars" and "Low") while totally overlooking "Scary Monsters." Let me tell you...this album amazing. Nothing but killer ("Ashes to Ashes", "Fashion", "Kingdom Come", "Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps)") and no instrumentals like on "Low" or "Heroes." It sounds futuristic and throwback at the same time.
The only drawbacks have nothing to do with the music. One being the cover looks like a haircutting book my mom got from Aveda when she graduated in 1980 (that always kind of creeped me out as a kid) and two is that the album spawned the New Romantic music scene. So somehow Bowie birthed Ultravox. I guess that can be forgiven though.
In all actuality, that's not entirely correct. I do have Urban Meyer, Tim Tebow, and David Bowie in clown makeup to keep me company. Bowie at full blast, Urban and Tim in the background with the sound off. It's not like I really need the sound on to deduce that Meyer is saying something like "Tim Tebow is the best football player ever. He is also like a son to me, more so than my own sons." God, do I hate most college football...
The Bowie, well that's more important. Every time I fetishize on Bowie, I always go for one of two albums (those two being "The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars" and "Low") while totally overlooking "Scary Monsters." Let me tell you...this album amazing. Nothing but killer ("Ashes to Ashes", "Fashion", "Kingdom Come", "Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps)") and no instrumentals like on "Low" or "Heroes." It sounds futuristic and throwback at the same time.
The only drawbacks have nothing to do with the music. One being the cover looks like a haircutting book my mom got from Aveda when she graduated in 1980 (that always kind of creeped me out as a kid) and two is that the album spawned the New Romantic music scene. So somehow Bowie birthed Ultravox. I guess that can be forgiven though.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Pickin' On Randoms 10/20/09
-I am in love with the song "You and I" by Wilco/Feist off of "Wilco The Album". It's like some magical 1970s time warp happened and this ambrosia came out of it. It actually made me go pick up the Feist CD, something I would have found far too g-a-y to do when it came out a couple summers ago.
-Brett Favre has still not won my heart. Its like if your parents got divorced and your mom started seeing your worst enemy. Even if he was better to your mom than your dad in every single way, you still would hate the fucking bastard.
-Fuck the Yankees...although the way they are molesting the Halos makes them look like the best team in about 30 years...a few "character" guys, cagey vets, and Jeter and A-Rod. I still think the Phils would put up a fight against these cats, but damn they look solid right about now. And CC is KILLING it.
-I ate brats twice today, and I don't feel the least bit guilty about it.
-The thought that Lebron may have even thought about having cancer scares me. What would I do for my mannish basketball fix if he slipped the surly bonds of earth and became one with the heavens?
-The "surly bonds of earth" quote above (what Reagan said when the Challenger blew up) may be my favorite historical quote of the last 50 years. I wonder who wrote that one?
-Brett Favre has still not won my heart. Its like if your parents got divorced and your mom started seeing your worst enemy. Even if he was better to your mom than your dad in every single way, you still would hate the fucking bastard.
-Fuck the Yankees...although the way they are molesting the Halos makes them look like the best team in about 30 years...a few "character" guys, cagey vets, and Jeter and A-Rod. I still think the Phils would put up a fight against these cats, but damn they look solid right about now. And CC is KILLING it.
-I ate brats twice today, and I don't feel the least bit guilty about it.
-The thought that Lebron may have even thought about having cancer scares me. What would I do for my mannish basketball fix if he slipped the surly bonds of earth and became one with the heavens?
-The "surly bonds of earth" quote above (what Reagan said when the Challenger blew up) may be my favorite historical quote of the last 50 years. I wonder who wrote that one?
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Freaky Friday
So the first night I get to go and tie one on since getting over the flu results in my favorite watering hole being hijacked by lesbians. And not the Jenna Jameson style either. Lets just put it this way...one looked exactly like Greg "The Hammer" Valentine.
I mean, seriously, is there any group of people who are less easy to classify than lesbians? For reals, yo. These chicks all either looked like K.D. Lang or Melissa Etheridge, yet still felt the need to change the lyrics to "Joy To The World" to "I'm A Straight Shootin Son of a BITCH" instead of "gun". I get it, you like to do the same kinda people I do. Now can we move on. I don't feel the need to yell "I really like tits and girl-ass" when I'm going off on "The Gambler".
Due to the fact that I couldn't get in more than one song from the usually reliable "DJ Tom", the party of five left the Palace early and I cuddled up with a cheesy bean and rice burrito from Taco Bell. Even though it ended prematurely, I still enjoyed the night.
I mean, seriously, is there any group of people who are less easy to classify than lesbians? For reals, yo. These chicks all either looked like K.D. Lang or Melissa Etheridge, yet still felt the need to change the lyrics to "Joy To The World" to "I'm A Straight Shootin Son of a BITCH" instead of "gun". I get it, you like to do the same kinda people I do. Now can we move on. I don't feel the need to yell "I really like tits and girl-ass" when I'm going off on "The Gambler".
Due to the fact that I couldn't get in more than one song from the usually reliable "DJ Tom", the party of five left the Palace early and I cuddled up with a cheesy bean and rice burrito from Taco Bell. Even though it ended prematurely, I still enjoyed the night.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Bedsitting, Deserves a Quiet Night
So I've been in bed pretty much since Friday at 9 or so...well, except to venture out to the Dome for the Twins ass-spelunking by the Yankees and for work today. Whatever mutant flu bug this is, its kicking me when I'm down (much like the old Offspring single, but far less cool).
Some randoms:
-The Broncos unis yesterday were so hideous they were beautiful. Nothing like mustard, brown, and vertically striped socks to get the blood going
-I don't know if its the flu or what clouding my logic, but the album "Olympian" by Gene may be one of the best Britpop albums ever. Its like a reformed Smiths with a slightly less gay Morrissey. I think this one may be the only album they ever released though. Need to dig into this I think.
-Home Run Inn frozen pizza may be tops in the frozen pizza game
-Pissed off I missed "Mad Men" last night.
-Pissed I watched the last 10 minutes of "The Office" on Thursday. That Chris Brown dance thing was super lame, and waaaaaay to saccharine for a show that thrives on dark comedy. Plus, making Kevin into the biggest retard in TV history is also a little frustrating. Dial it down a notch...
Some randoms:
-The Broncos unis yesterday were so hideous they were beautiful. Nothing like mustard, brown, and vertically striped socks to get the blood going
-I don't know if its the flu or what clouding my logic, but the album "Olympian" by Gene may be one of the best Britpop albums ever. Its like a reformed Smiths with a slightly less gay Morrissey. I think this one may be the only album they ever released though. Need to dig into this I think.
-Home Run Inn frozen pizza may be tops in the frozen pizza game
-Pissed off I missed "Mad Men" last night.
-Pissed I watched the last 10 minutes of "The Office" on Thursday. That Chris Brown dance thing was super lame, and waaaaaay to saccharine for a show that thrives on dark comedy. Plus, making Kevin into the biggest retard in TV history is also a little frustrating. Dial it down a notch...
Sunday, October 04, 2009
No Surrender My Bobby Jean
What a freaking weekend...drunk bowling at Earle Brown Friday, record show/Twins game/Gaslight Anthem concert Saturday, and Twins game on TV/sandlot football today. I'm exhausted by my break.
The Gaslight Anthem show at the Cabooze was quite rockin'. The main opener was a band from Indiana called Death by Murder. They sang murder ballads and songs about Satan and had an electric cello which was pretty mint fly. Oh, and the lead singer kind of looked like Mose from The Office.
The Gaslight Anthem tore down the house with its blend of Springsteen, soul, and punk. No matter what song was played, the crowd sang along like it was a fucking Dashboard Confessional concert. Lead singer Brian Fallon gave a bunch of in-between song banter that didn't kill the mood (except for that of the drunken hot girls next to me who "came there to dance"). Seeing the crowd reaction to the way they tore through "The '59 Sound" and "Meet Me By The Rivers Edge" I thought to myself "these guys are gonna be huge soon." If Kings of Leon can put 10,000 asses in the seats at Target Center, I can't see why The Gaslight Anthem couldn't do the same.
The Gaslight Anthem show at the Cabooze was quite rockin'. The main opener was a band from Indiana called Death by Murder. They sang murder ballads and songs about Satan and had an electric cello which was pretty mint fly. Oh, and the lead singer kind of looked like Mose from The Office.
The Gaslight Anthem tore down the house with its blend of Springsteen, soul, and punk. No matter what song was played, the crowd sang along like it was a fucking Dashboard Confessional concert. Lead singer Brian Fallon gave a bunch of in-between song banter that didn't kill the mood (except for that of the drunken hot girls next to me who "came there to dance"). Seeing the crowd reaction to the way they tore through "The '59 Sound" and "Meet Me By The Rivers Edge" I thought to myself "these guys are gonna be huge soon." If Kings of Leon can put 10,000 asses in the seats at Target Center, I can't see why The Gaslight Anthem couldn't do the same.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
TV Party Tonight!
NBC kinda sorta has some Must See TV on Thursdays again. Forget that SNL Thursday crap and Parks and Recreation (what a waste of funny people, and in the case of Rashida Jones, funny and oh so fine people). What I'm talkin bout is The Office, Community and soon, 30 Rock.
I don't know where The Office is going with this whole Jim-Michael as co-managers thing, but I kind of dig it. Its starting off slow, but I think something weird and uncomfortable is going to happen. In a funny way.
And Community is hit or miss (I hated last weeks episode partially because there was way too much Chevy Chase but LOL'ed at a few moments this week) but there is promise there. Also, it helps that the female lead in the show is absolutely stunning. Like, "she is so damn hot that if the guy from The Soup ends up fucking her on the show its totally unbelievable" stunning.
ANYWAYS...I finally can dedicate most of a weeknight to TV again. And that shit ain't happened since I was rocking Starter Jackets, Nike Airs, and some tapered Arizona Jeans.
I don't know where The Office is going with this whole Jim-Michael as co-managers thing, but I kind of dig it. Its starting off slow, but I think something weird and uncomfortable is going to happen. In a funny way.
And Community is hit or miss (I hated last weeks episode partially because there was way too much Chevy Chase but LOL'ed at a few moments this week) but there is promise there. Also, it helps that the female lead in the show is absolutely stunning. Like, "she is so damn hot that if the guy from The Soup ends up fucking her on the show its totally unbelievable" stunning.
ANYWAYS...I finally can dedicate most of a weeknight to TV again. And that shit ain't happened since I was rocking Starter Jackets, Nike Airs, and some tapered Arizona Jeans.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Should I Pick Up the Vinyl?
Well, that settles it...I will have to listen to the new Weezer disc before I purchase it. At least twice. This is the stupidest album cover I have ever seen. What in the hell were their label thinking allowing them to put this out? What the fuck is exactly going on in this picture?
Although, it is so bad it makes me laugh a little bit. But just a little.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Jake Eickholts 115th Dream
Last night I had a dream I was in a swank lounge (you know, the kind the dudes on Entourage are always at with the round sofas and whatnot). And I had just won the Super Bowl. Anyways, I was talking big shit, saying "Who else in here has won a Super Bowl and a Super Bowl MVP?"
Then I looked over at one of the round sofas and Ben Roethlisberger was sitting there, in his Steelers gear. He said "this guy" and pointed at himself. Then we both got amped and Big Ben gave me bones.
Funny thing is, I guess he never won the Super Bowl MVP. Well, I guess that makes two of us...
Then I looked over at one of the round sofas and Ben Roethlisberger was sitting there, in his Steelers gear. He said "this guy" and pointed at himself. Then we both got amped and Big Ben gave me bones.
Funny thing is, I guess he never won the Super Bowl MVP. Well, I guess that makes two of us...
Thursday, September 24, 2009
But It's Alright
So we got spanked in softball tonight. The positive would be that we put up 16 in the first game and only lost by eight. The negative would be the fact that teams in the Brooklyn Center D Fall league are much, much better than the Million Dollar Men. Oh well, I will take solace in almost hitting for the cycle tonight in the first game (single, double, triple)...
I also started converting some vinyl to MP3 this evening. I found a 45 by a local MPLS band called The Mystics in a stack of records my brother Jordan was converting. Digging garage, I threw it on. Good shit, a kick ass, sort of sloppy cover of "But It's Alright" and another cover of "Pain" by Grass Roots (was not familiar with that song at all). Not sure which is the A and which is the B but I think "Pain" was the track spun on KDWB...
I also threw the Nick Gilder album with "Hot Child In The City" on there (mainly for "One Of The Boys" which is amazing). Next step: Ringo's solo album with "Photograph" on it and all the Pearl Jam Christmas 45s I have been accumulating over the years. This may be the best toy since the Cobra Terrordome!
I also started converting some vinyl to MP3 this evening. I found a 45 by a local MPLS band called The Mystics in a stack of records my brother Jordan was converting. Digging garage, I threw it on. Good shit, a kick ass, sort of sloppy cover of "But It's Alright" and another cover of "Pain" by Grass Roots (was not familiar with that song at all). Not sure which is the A and which is the B but I think "Pain" was the track spun on KDWB...
I also threw the Nick Gilder album with "Hot Child In The City" on there (mainly for "One Of The Boys" which is amazing). Next step: Ringo's solo album with "Photograph" on it and all the Pearl Jam Christmas 45s I have been accumulating over the years. This may be the best toy since the Cobra Terrordome!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Why I STILL Hate Megan Fox
So my favorite celeb is on the cover of Rolling Stone this fortnight...
First off, let me start by saying I only get Rolling Stone still because Rob Sheffield writes for it. The 10 or so months he wrote for Blender were painful, mainly because that magazines "tits, ass, maybe a little music" format didn't allow him to be his catty best. If he were ever to leave again, I would cancel in a heartbeat...I don't need to see Zac Effron's biddy when I am trying to get my music news.
Anyways, back to Jolie Jr. After reading the first two paragraphs, I learned that she has her boyfriends name tattooed next to her vag. Which is a little weird, but par for the course with this broad. But then you learn, in paragraph three that her BF is, wait for it, BRIAN FUCKING AUSTIN GREEN! Yep, America's favorite FOX sponsored white rapper from 1994 is sthupping the IT girl of the moment. Marinate on that.
I also dislike Ms. Fox because they had her pose with a vinyl copy of "Ziggy Stardust" in their little pictorial. Don't sully my favorite shit, RS. Just don't.
First off, let me start by saying I only get Rolling Stone still because Rob Sheffield writes for it. The 10 or so months he wrote for Blender were painful, mainly because that magazines "tits, ass, maybe a little music" format didn't allow him to be his catty best. If he were ever to leave again, I would cancel in a heartbeat...I don't need to see Zac Effron's biddy when I am trying to get my music news.
Anyways, back to Jolie Jr. After reading the first two paragraphs, I learned that she has her boyfriends name tattooed next to her vag. Which is a little weird, but par for the course with this broad. But then you learn, in paragraph three that her BF is, wait for it, BRIAN FUCKING AUSTIN GREEN! Yep, America's favorite FOX sponsored white rapper from 1994 is sthupping the IT girl of the moment. Marinate on that.
I also dislike Ms. Fox because they had her pose with a vinyl copy of "Ziggy Stardust" in their little pictorial. Don't sully my favorite shit, RS. Just don't.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Glenn Medeiros ~ She Ain't Worth It ~ 1990
Did this go to #1 due to Bobby Brown? And why is he hanging out with this dude who stole Mike Seavers hair? How did this come out in 1990? Weren't the 80s over by then? So many unanswered questions....
I heard that old Glenn is a high school teacher. Anyways, if I had a radio station, this shit would STILL be in regular rotation.
You Da F-----n' Best, You Da Best I Ever Had
Why is anything left in Brooklyn Center? If any city screams "hey, I quit progressing in 1985" its that one. That became painfully clear when I went to Best Buy tonight.
There was one cashier for about ten people in line, and the couple in front of me had their credit card rejected four times and insisted that it get run again. I waited about five minutes to purchase my CD, when it should have taken 20 seconds. The problem is that this is par for the course for the BC Best Buy. Absolute clueless service, no one is really buying anything (except for BOOST! phones when I was in there) and a minuscule selection of everything. All the stores in BC are like that. They are like that 40 year old dude who lives at home and goes to Fieldhouse or Champps and fucks 22 year olds in his parents basement...there once was potential, but now he (or it) is running on fumes.
The CD I bought may have been worth the wait. Kid Cudi's "Man On The Moon" is not quite a hip-hop album, not quite a pop album. It may be the first R&B influenced concept album about hating yourself (well besides "Ready To Die" by Biggie). Dude is talking about coke-induced suicide on track 2, spends track 4 and 7 tracks discussing his loner status, may be face fucking Lady Gaga with Common and Kanyeezy on track 12, tries to get happy with MGMT on track 13, and may finally have killed himself on the final track. Or did he? Common comes on to tell us nothings over.
Hip hop has been pretty fucking dead for the last two years. Honestly though, after one and a half listens to "Man On The Moon," I can't wait for part 2 of the trilogy.
There was one cashier for about ten people in line, and the couple in front of me had their credit card rejected four times and insisted that it get run again. I waited about five minutes to purchase my CD, when it should have taken 20 seconds. The problem is that this is par for the course for the BC Best Buy. Absolute clueless service, no one is really buying anything (except for BOOST! phones when I was in there) and a minuscule selection of everything. All the stores in BC are like that. They are like that 40 year old dude who lives at home and goes to Fieldhouse or Champps and fucks 22 year olds in his parents basement...there once was potential, but now he (or it) is running on fumes.
The CD I bought may have been worth the wait. Kid Cudi's "Man On The Moon" is not quite a hip-hop album, not quite a pop album. It may be the first R&B influenced concept album about hating yourself (well besides "Ready To Die" by Biggie). Dude is talking about coke-induced suicide on track 2, spends track 4 and 7 tracks discussing his loner status, may be face fucking Lady Gaga with Common and Kanyeezy on track 12, tries to get happy with MGMT on track 13, and may finally have killed himself on the final track. Or did he? Common comes on to tell us nothings over.
Hip hop has been pretty fucking dead for the last two years. Honestly though, after one and a half listens to "Man On The Moon," I can't wait for part 2 of the trilogy.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Ghost Like Swazye, Etc
Patrick Swazye dying is a major loss in my book, if only because the dude starred in "Road House" and "Point Break." Both of those movies are stone cold classics. I also forgot he was in "The Outsiders." Oh, and I will admit it, "Dirty Dancing" has its moments...but I will not ride for "Ghost" (even though I know of at least one guy who loves that movie). So, RIP Dalton. Hopefully you and Jeff Healy can rock out on a kick ass "She's Like The Wind/Angel Eyes" medley in the hereafter.
In other news, my 14 year old brother asked my mom if I was gay because I read Esquire. I said, if I subscribed to GQ or Details, maybe, but Esquire is a manly read full of half naked Mary Louise Parkers and articles about In-N-Out Burger. Funny thing is, this isn't the first time my sexuality has been questioned because of Esquire. Has there ever been a magazine so misunderstood?
New Pearl Jam in 6 days...pretty amped. Hopefully it won't disappoint like "Binaural" and "Riot Act," but it will kick ass like the Avocado one, which made me want to fight the government and eat guacamole.
In other news, my 14 year old brother asked my mom if I was gay because I read Esquire. I said, if I subscribed to GQ or Details, maybe, but Esquire is a manly read full of half naked Mary Louise Parkers and articles about In-N-Out Burger. Funny thing is, this isn't the first time my sexuality has been questioned because of Esquire. Has there ever been a magazine so misunderstood?
New Pearl Jam in 6 days...pretty amped. Hopefully it won't disappoint like "Binaural" and "Riot Act," but it will kick ass like the Avocado one, which made me want to fight the government and eat guacamole.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Love Of My Life (And It Ain't Hip Hop)
Football season is here. The time of year where I turn to my sports mistress (baseball will always be my wifey) only to get my heartbroken by that slut in purple. Ah, but she always looks so right at the twilight of summer, over there in the corner with so much promise. Oh well, maybe things will be different this time. Maybe she will stay until February, when we can take that vaycay to South Beach and party with that guido Lombardi.
But we all know how this is gonna turn out. The broad is going to leave the relationship around November all emotionally bruised after some asshole named Brett or Tavaris breaks her heart by failing to deliver on his promises. I will probably start to flirt with that redhead in downtown St. Paul, or that silver fox who hangs out by Block E. But I won't do anything, and I will go back to my wifey and the new house she's building downtown MPLS in the spring, where we will be hopefully happy for years to come.
But we all know how this is gonna turn out. The broad is going to leave the relationship around November all emotionally bruised after some asshole named Brett or Tavaris breaks her heart by failing to deliver on his promises. I will probably start to flirt with that redhead in downtown St. Paul, or that silver fox who hangs out by Block E. But I won't do anything, and I will go back to my wifey and the new house she's building downtown MPLS in the spring, where we will be hopefully happy for years to come.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Well, At Least We Still Got Johnny Damon
So I thought Matt Damon was dead for two minutes tonight...
Some random blog posted that TMZ had reported that Matt Damon died hiking in the California desert. My brother told me that it was legit and it was on NBC. And I believed the initial reports, due to the fact that I now somehow consider TMZ a legit news source. I think its time to step away from the computer. How fucked is our society's news gathering when we believe a blog that thrives on pictures of celebs asses instead of an accredited source?
In non celeb death related news, the new Jay-Z album sucks, conditionally. There are only a handful of decent tracks, two of which were singles already and one of which was built on the chorus to "Forever Young" by Alphaville. Being one of the only people to find "American Gangster" damn near classic, I was going to ride for "Blueprint 3" hard. But I can only give it a C. Ain't no "Roc Boys" or "Lost One" on this disc...although the song about New York with Alicia Keys is pretty good.
Some random blog posted that TMZ had reported that Matt Damon died hiking in the California desert. My brother told me that it was legit and it was on NBC. And I believed the initial reports, due to the fact that I now somehow consider TMZ a legit news source. I think its time to step away from the computer. How fucked is our society's news gathering when we believe a blog that thrives on pictures of celebs asses instead of an accredited source?
In non celeb death related news, the new Jay-Z album sucks, conditionally. There are only a handful of decent tracks, two of which were singles already and one of which was built on the chorus to "Forever Young" by Alphaville. Being one of the only people to find "American Gangster" damn near classic, I was going to ride for "Blueprint 3" hard. But I can only give it a C. Ain't no "Roc Boys" or "Lost One" on this disc...although the song about New York with Alicia Keys is pretty good.
Monday, September 07, 2009
The Debauchedness...
I promised myself a weekend of debauchery, and goddammits, that's what I got.
Thursday was pretty mellow. The only debauchery was eating at Checkers (Loaded fries are pretty debauched) and going to Cheapo to pick up some CDs.
Friday on the other hand, was both decadent and debauched. I went to the Fair and ate the following items (NOTE: Most were shared with others):
-Cheese Curds
-Pronto Pup
-Deep Fried Cannoli
-Pig Cheek
-Australian Battered Potatoes
-Sweet Martha's Cookies
-A Milkshake
After that decadence, I went bowling at Earle Brown Lanes...and split three pitchers of Mich Golden between two people. Then, off to Jams, where I downed bottom shelf whiskey diets while my cohort talked up some broad who looked like Octomom (and who was wearing a dashiki). Octomom told my cohort to meet her at Denny's...so we went. There was no Octomom, but there was a meal named after Rascal Flats. So I ordered it, with my hash browns smothered and covered. Thank god for that, because I would have puked the next morning for sure if Rascal Flats wouldn't have been in my tummy.
Saturday was another "So Ruff So Tuff" day. Went to a softball shindig in Richfield, then went to Champps a block away. After realizing Champps was deader than Chris Benoit, we headed to a dive sports bar called Tailgate. Tailgate had karaoke, and I rocked the fuck out of "Up On Cripple Creek". Then I decided it would be fun to try to pick up the only single chicks in the bar. Didn't work out so well...they came back and helped us drink some keg beer, but one of them was a super huge Dave Matthews fan (even dropping the dreaded "Dave" reference) and kind of soured on Ol' Jakey Poo when I made fun of their new album title.
But, you gotta admit, "Whiskey Kings and The Goo Goo Crux" or whatever is a stupid fucking name...even if its named after their dead violinist.
Sunday was the recovery day. Went to Mayslack's for a few beers, and passed out around 1 AM. Fitting end to a great weekend.
Thursday was pretty mellow. The only debauchery was eating at Checkers (Loaded fries are pretty debauched) and going to Cheapo to pick up some CDs.
Friday on the other hand, was both decadent and debauched. I went to the Fair and ate the following items (NOTE: Most were shared with others):
-Cheese Curds
-Pronto Pup
-Deep Fried Cannoli
-Pig Cheek
-Australian Battered Potatoes
-Sweet Martha's Cookies
-A Milkshake
After that decadence, I went bowling at Earle Brown Lanes...and split three pitchers of Mich Golden between two people. Then, off to Jams, where I downed bottom shelf whiskey diets while my cohort talked up some broad who looked like Octomom (and who was wearing a dashiki). Octomom told my cohort to meet her at Denny's...so we went. There was no Octomom, but there was a meal named after Rascal Flats. So I ordered it, with my hash browns smothered and covered. Thank god for that, because I would have puked the next morning for sure if Rascal Flats wouldn't have been in my tummy.
Saturday was another "So Ruff So Tuff" day. Went to a softball shindig in Richfield, then went to Champps a block away. After realizing Champps was deader than Chris Benoit, we headed to a dive sports bar called Tailgate. Tailgate had karaoke, and I rocked the fuck out of "Up On Cripple Creek". Then I decided it would be fun to try to pick up the only single chicks in the bar. Didn't work out so well...they came back and helped us drink some keg beer, but one of them was a super huge Dave Matthews fan (even dropping the dreaded "Dave" reference) and kind of soured on Ol' Jakey Poo when I made fun of their new album title.
But, you gotta admit, "Whiskey Kings and The Goo Goo Crux" or whatever is a stupid fucking name...even if its named after their dead violinist.
Sunday was the recovery day. Went to Mayslack's for a few beers, and passed out around 1 AM. Fitting end to a great weekend.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Pruple Reign, Purple Reign
God, Adrian Peterson is amazing. Watching Peterson run is like watching a fighter jet take off, except I've never seen a jet take off in person and I think Peterson may be more powerful. The 70-something yard run AP busted off tonight (first play from scrimmage no less) looked so effortless and powerful that I really have nothing I have seen in sports to compare it to. Maybe, just maybe, it matches MJ gliding to the hoop or Ken Griffey Jr's swing.
Oh, and Favre looked okay. Seeing the Ol' Gunslinger (whom I have wished more than my share of harm on in my day) in Purple is still like seeing your enemy snuggle with the love of your life, but I think I can take that kind of nausea if the Lombardi Trophy is paraded down Hennepin in February.
Oh, and Favre looked okay. Seeing the Ol' Gunslinger (whom I have wished more than my share of harm on in my day) in Purple is still like seeing your enemy snuggle with the love of your life, but I think I can take that kind of nausea if the Lombardi Trophy is paraded down Hennepin in February.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Ken Griffey's Grotesquely Swollen Jaw
Tonight was the biggest cumulative ass whipping I have ever been a part of in softball. I think the other teams scored a combined 75 runs to our 20 or so. It sucks, I'm sore, kinda heartbroken, and sweaty.
But on my way home I stopped at Holiday and witnessed someone buying only a Hawaiian Punch and a Blunt paying in change being rung up by a cashier with the sides of his head shaved and a gel shell on top, and it made everything all better.
Oh, and R.I.P Teddy Kennedy. I'm not exactly sure what you did (or, for that matter, what ANY of the fucking Kennedy's did beside possibly Eiffel Tower Marylin Monroe) to improve American society. But you did love the broads and you loved scotch and you once DD'ed and killed some party slut, so I guess your more than okay in this guys book...
But on my way home I stopped at Holiday and witnessed someone buying only a Hawaiian Punch and a Blunt paying in change being rung up by a cashier with the sides of his head shaved and a gel shell on top, and it made everything all better.
Oh, and R.I.P Teddy Kennedy. I'm not exactly sure what you did (or, for that matter, what ANY of the fucking Kennedy's did beside possibly Eiffel Tower Marylin Monroe) to improve American society. But you did love the broads and you loved scotch and you once DD'ed and killed some party slut, so I guess your more than okay in this guys book...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Stuff Kids Go For
The last year has been absolutely abominable for music...at least I thought so until recently. Today, both Pearl Jam and Weezer released new singles (Pearl Jam going with "The Fixer" and The Weeze going with the succinctly titled "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To"). Both songs rock my socks, going in a very poppy direction for two bands not known for slinging pop candy. The Weezer song is up on some 70s bubblegum nonsense and was produced by my favorite purveyor of nonsense (Butch Walker) while "The Fixer" sounds like the Pearl Jam that kicked our asses on the last disc, except happy.
The other song/group I am totally gay for recently is Passion Pit, whose "Manners" disc has really not left the iPod/CD player in the last couple of weeks. The key track is "Little Secrets" which is the happiest song ever and makes me want to white boy dance.
Oh, and the new Brendan Benson is grand also...but that was to be expected after "The Alternative To Love." Anything else would have been a letdown.
The other song/group I am totally gay for recently is Passion Pit, whose "Manners" disc has really not left the iPod/CD player in the last couple of weeks. The key track is "Little Secrets" which is the happiest song ever and makes me want to white boy dance.
Oh, and the new Brendan Benson is grand also...but that was to be expected after "The Alternative To Love." Anything else would have been a letdown.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Clearance Rack Cavalcade 8/22/09
Since I haven't actually updated this thang in two weeks, I'm gonna give you two for one on the CD reviews...
Big Black "Songs About Fucking"
This albums title may mislead those who are looking to spice up the bedroom. When I think of songs that may be about fucking, I think of things like "The Lemon Song" or anything by Prince before he turned Jay-Hov. God only knows what kind of fucking Big Black was going off about, but I assume it involved fishhooking, choking, and in all likelihood, an appearance by TT Boy. Overall though, the CD wasn't a terrible purchase. Their cover of "The Model" sounded like Kraftwerk backed by Nine Inch Nails, and the song "Colombian Necktie" has a pretty kickass drum going for it. I guess a more apt title would have been "Songs to Do Speed To".
PJ Harvey "To Bring You My Love"
I was always a little leery of diving into the PJ Harvey pool, mainly because her videos always scared me when I was a youngun. But then I bought "Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea" on clearance and liked the fuck out of it. So I delved into "To Bring You My Love" head-on. TBYML already had a familiar song in it with "Down By The Water"(which reminds me of middle school and the fact that the local alternative station seemed to have a constant battle between "Down By The Water" and "Lighting Crashes" by Live as to who could have more airplay in the Spring of 1995). The deeper cuts, like "C'mon Billy" and "Send His Love To Me" aren't as "radio friendly" as "Down By The Water" (which, if were released today, would never sniff the top 40 at any format) but are just as effective, and dare I say, sort of sexy in a creepy way. Worth my Jefferson, and then some.
Big Black "Songs About Fucking"
This albums title may mislead those who are looking to spice up the bedroom. When I think of songs that may be about fucking, I think of things like "The Lemon Song" or anything by Prince before he turned Jay-Hov. God only knows what kind of fucking Big Black was going off about, but I assume it involved fishhooking, choking, and in all likelihood, an appearance by TT Boy. Overall though, the CD wasn't a terrible purchase. Their cover of "The Model" sounded like Kraftwerk backed by Nine Inch Nails, and the song "Colombian Necktie" has a pretty kickass drum going for it. I guess a more apt title would have been "Songs to Do Speed To".
PJ Harvey "To Bring You My Love"
I was always a little leery of diving into the PJ Harvey pool, mainly because her videos always scared me when I was a youngun. But then I bought "Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea" on clearance and liked the fuck out of it. So I delved into "To Bring You My Love" head-on. TBYML already had a familiar song in it with "Down By The Water"(which reminds me of middle school and the fact that the local alternative station seemed to have a constant battle between "Down By The Water" and "Lighting Crashes" by Live as to who could have more airplay in the Spring of 1995). The deeper cuts, like "C'mon Billy" and "Send His Love To Me" aren't as "radio friendly" as "Down By The Water" (which, if were released today, would never sniff the top 40 at any format) but are just as effective, and dare I say, sort of sexy in a creepy way. Worth my Jefferson, and then some.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
For The Movies...
God, there were a lot of ugly people at Target tonight. And they weren't your standard unattractive types. They were the ones wearing dirty white Looney Tunes T-Shirts and had rolls spilling out of tank tops. Made me almost think twice about buying that sack of Pizza Rolls...
Anyways, I heard that some sexy celeb chick from Gossip Girl had a homemade porn floating around on the internet. So, like any good meaning American citizen, I searched for it. All I got was some stills...a huge disappointment. It was the same bullshit I dealt with trying to get me some naked Erin Andrews.
Amazingly, I think I like looking at naked celebs fucking more than I actually like trying to find willing women for myself. I have no clue why. I mean, I actually watched the Tonya Harding porn just to see what it was all about. I ended up laughing, mainly because her hubby kind of looked like an old supervisor I had named Mike T. But the point is, I still watched. I would probably watch a Kirstie Alley/John Goodman porn if one ever gets leaked. Because they are naked and famous.
Anyways, I heard that some sexy celeb chick from Gossip Girl had a homemade porn floating around on the internet. So, like any good meaning American citizen, I searched for it. All I got was some stills...a huge disappointment. It was the same bullshit I dealt with trying to get me some naked Erin Andrews.
Amazingly, I think I like looking at naked celebs fucking more than I actually like trying to find willing women for myself. I have no clue why. I mean, I actually watched the Tonya Harding porn just to see what it was all about. I ended up laughing, mainly because her hubby kind of looked like an old supervisor I had named Mike T. But the point is, I still watched. I would probably watch a Kirstie Alley/John Goodman porn if one ever gets leaked. Because they are naked and famous.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Random Discs 8/4/09
So on the way to work today, I had the ol iPod on random. A Manic Street Preachers song called "Ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayit'sworldwouldfallapart" came on, and I thought to myself, "I am the only fucking person I know who owns this CD." Mind you, that doesn't make the music earth shattering or myself some special music savant, it just means that I enjoy some random shit. So here's a short list of CDs I own that I guarantee none of my inner and outer circles (around 50 people owns):
Manic Street Preachers-The Holy Bible
Kind of a cross between Oasis and a hardcore punk band, they later on became a watered down Oasis/Britpop styled band. But this CD was pure fire.
Suede-Dog Man Star
Another Britpop group, this kind of sounds like slow-Bowie fronted by a tranny who has great shoes.
Robbie Williams-Sing When You're Winning
Too bad this dude got no shine in the U.S. besides a few low charting singles ("Millenium" and "Angels") because this CD rules. Witty, sensitive, glammy and pensive all in one package. Note: I also own the Robbie Williams standards album "SWING When You're Winning" which is absolute shit.
Rockpile-Seconds of Pleasure
On which Nick Lowe and Dave Edmunds team up to sing rockabilly. Incredible power pop.
The Magnetic Fields-69 Love Songs
69 songs about love, being in love, hating love, all sung in different styles, but having a very chamber pop vibe.
XTC-Oranges and Lemons-
Not the best album ever, but it has the two best XTC songs ("King For a Day" and "The Mayor of Simpleton"). As if there is anyone who reads this actively judging XTC songs....
Manic Street Preachers-The Holy Bible
Kind of a cross between Oasis and a hardcore punk band, they later on became a watered down Oasis/Britpop styled band. But this CD was pure fire.
Suede-Dog Man Star
Another Britpop group, this kind of sounds like slow-Bowie fronted by a tranny who has great shoes.
Robbie Williams-Sing When You're Winning
Too bad this dude got no shine in the U.S. besides a few low charting singles ("Millenium" and "Angels") because this CD rules. Witty, sensitive, glammy and pensive all in one package. Note: I also own the Robbie Williams standards album "SWING When You're Winning" which is absolute shit.
Rockpile-Seconds of Pleasure
On which Nick Lowe and Dave Edmunds team up to sing rockabilly. Incredible power pop.
The Magnetic Fields-69 Love Songs
69 songs about love, being in love, hating love, all sung in different styles, but having a very chamber pop vibe.
XTC-Oranges and Lemons-
Not the best album ever, but it has the two best XTC songs ("King For a Day" and "The Mayor of Simpleton"). As if there is anyone who reads this actively judging XTC songs....
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Street Dancing In The Dark
Holy shit, I need to quit drinking...this weekend was even more drunken and strange than the last.
Friday started with a trip to the Southhaven Muni On/Off Sale bar, where Kammies were done and cheap beer drank. DJ Funky Monkey was rockin her set (which consisted of David Allan Coe, Buckcherry and Union Underground) and Heggie's pizza was taken from the Annandale Fire Department's banquet table.
I think the Kamikaze put the crew over the top, because on the way home, the whip was ghost rode down a dirt road to A Tribe Called Quest. Having never ghost rode the whip before, I can say it was quite the thrill.
Saturday started with a trip to the Wright County Swap Meet, where magic always happens. A wedding photo of Sonny and Cher was purchased (not by me), along with a Richard Marx CD (by me). The real fun started when we all started drinking around noon, which led to the longest Polish golf game ever ( I think around two hours) which I lost after leading 20-2.
Then, onto the street dance. The scenery at the street dance wasn't all I hoped for, but there was a woman who had a Diane Lane quality that all the young dudes found endearing. There were also jalapeno poppers and more kammies. After getting really really drunk, we went to an after bar at some dude named Bear's house out in the woods.
Bear's bar was a little overwhelming. It was lit with red light bulbs and had dollar bills, panties, and Bears and Cardinals memorabilia all over the fucking place. It also seemed that Bear didn't want any dudes in his house. When his kid started yelling "I'm in the fucking Navy" drunken me decided it was probably time to go.
Great times though...'cept I might not go back to the Bear Cave next time.
Friday started with a trip to the Southhaven Muni On/Off Sale bar, where Kammies were done and cheap beer drank. DJ Funky Monkey was rockin her set (which consisted of David Allan Coe, Buckcherry and Union Underground) and Heggie's pizza was taken from the Annandale Fire Department's banquet table.
I think the Kamikaze put the crew over the top, because on the way home, the whip was ghost rode down a dirt road to A Tribe Called Quest. Having never ghost rode the whip before, I can say it was quite the thrill.
Saturday started with a trip to the Wright County Swap Meet, where magic always happens. A wedding photo of Sonny and Cher was purchased (not by me), along with a Richard Marx CD (by me). The real fun started when we all started drinking around noon, which led to the longest Polish golf game ever ( I think around two hours) which I lost after leading 20-2.
Then, onto the street dance. The scenery at the street dance wasn't all I hoped for, but there was a woman who had a Diane Lane quality that all the young dudes found endearing. There were also jalapeno poppers and more kammies. After getting really really drunk, we went to an after bar at some dude named Bear's house out in the woods.
Bear's bar was a little overwhelming. It was lit with red light bulbs and had dollar bills, panties, and Bears and Cardinals memorabilia all over the fucking place. It also seemed that Bear didn't want any dudes in his house. When his kid started yelling "I'm in the fucking Navy" drunken me decided it was probably time to go.
Great times though...'cept I might not go back to the Bear Cave next time.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Embarrassing Albums 7/20/09
This blog begins with a disclaimer: I fucking hate Don Henley. He is a curmudgeonly old man who won't let chunky housewives sing his songs at karaoke. The songs he sang with the Eagles pale in comparison to anything Glen Frey or Joe Walsh did. Oh, and there is something vaguely creepy about his political agenda.
That being said, I love Don Henley's 1989 album "The End of the Innocence." This is probably the first time I have confessed that little tidbit, but it needs to be said. Not only do I own TEOTI on CD, I also have it on vinyl...and I am damn proud of it.
Enough with the "how?" though. More on the "why?"
Part of my love for this disc may because it was one of only four CDs my parents owned from 1989 to 1992 (along with Vanilla Ice, Wilson Philips and The Best of Kansas). Needless to say, the only CDs that actually got play were Don Henley and the Kansas best of. So familiarity may have bread my love.
Another part of the love may be the world weary view the album takes. Ol' Don just sounds beat down, kinda pissed off about it, but RESIGNED to his failures. Even in a song called "I Will Not Go Quietly" Henley doesn't really sound like he's going to bring the motherfuckin' ruckus. And really, what is better than being resigned that life isn't roses and wine?
The best three songs on TEOTI are the three top 40 hits ("The Heart of the Matter", "The Last Worthless Evening" and the title track). They are also the most earnest. Much of what Henley did with the Eagles seemed plastic and bitter (see "Life In The Fast Lane") and none of the three I listed have that quality. So, in "the long run" that is why "The End of the Innocence" remains an embarrassing album that I hold dear to me.
Plus, W. Axl Rose sings backups on the album. How fucking weird is that?
That being said, I love Don Henley's 1989 album "The End of the Innocence." This is probably the first time I have confessed that little tidbit, but it needs to be said. Not only do I own TEOTI on CD, I also have it on vinyl...and I am damn proud of it.
Enough with the "how?" though. More on the "why?"
Part of my love for this disc may because it was one of only four CDs my parents owned from 1989 to 1992 (along with Vanilla Ice, Wilson Philips and The Best of Kansas). Needless to say, the only CDs that actually got play were Don Henley and the Kansas best of. So familiarity may have bread my love.
Another part of the love may be the world weary view the album takes. Ol' Don just sounds beat down, kinda pissed off about it, but RESIGNED to his failures. Even in a song called "I Will Not Go Quietly" Henley doesn't really sound like he's going to bring the motherfuckin' ruckus. And really, what is better than being resigned that life isn't roses and wine?
The best three songs on TEOTI are the three top 40 hits ("The Heart of the Matter", "The Last Worthless Evening" and the title track). They are also the most earnest. Much of what Henley did with the Eagles seemed plastic and bitter (see "Life In The Fast Lane") and none of the three I listed have that quality. So, in "the long run" that is why "The End of the Innocence" remains an embarrassing album that I hold dear to me.
Plus, W. Axl Rose sings backups on the album. How fucking weird is that?
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Lake Michigan 09: Own It!
Holy shit I am drained...long long weekend spent in Wisconsin. Lots of drinking, lots of cheese, lots of strangeness that will probably never be matched in the annals of my bar going (and there has been plenty of that).
Friday night we arrived in Manitowoc after a 5 hour drive and hit up a hotel bar that had karaoke. Many dollar taps were consumed, in a setting that could be described as "biker friendly." There was also a ferry boat enthusiast who dressed like Bernie from "Weekend at Bernies" and a chubby dude named Tommy Lee who sang "Amish Paradise" by Weird Al Yankovic. At bar close, we stumbled home while singing "Kiss From a Rose" and also fighting rocks and flower beds.
Saturday can be summed up by the following sequence: Cheese shop, townie acoustic festival, cheese curds, drunken croquet, homemade gourmet pizza, dive bar. The dive bar was called Kenny B's, and 90% of the crowd were either A)raging lesbians or B)pre-op transsexuals. It was insane to see, especially in a town of only 30,000 people. The karaoke there was also insane, lots of Alice Cooper. The highlight for me was when Nate did "A Lapdance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying" by the Bloodhound Gang(which will probably never be in a karaoke book again). Anyways, it was an insane weekend, but very fun.
Friday night we arrived in Manitowoc after a 5 hour drive and hit up a hotel bar that had karaoke. Many dollar taps were consumed, in a setting that could be described as "biker friendly." There was also a ferry boat enthusiast who dressed like Bernie from "Weekend at Bernies" and a chubby dude named Tommy Lee who sang "Amish Paradise" by Weird Al Yankovic. At bar close, we stumbled home while singing "Kiss From a Rose" and also fighting rocks and flower beds.
Saturday can be summed up by the following sequence: Cheese shop, townie acoustic festival, cheese curds, drunken croquet, homemade gourmet pizza, dive bar. The dive bar was called Kenny B's, and 90% of the crowd were either A)raging lesbians or B)pre-op transsexuals. It was insane to see, especially in a town of only 30,000 people. The karaoke there was also insane, lots of Alice Cooper. The highlight for me was when Nate did "A Lapdance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying" by the Bloodhound Gang(which will probably never be in a karaoke book again). Anyways, it was an insane weekend, but very fun.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Denver Day 2
Sorry about the lateness of this post, hectic ass beginning of the week with return to work and softball and such...
Denver day two started out with a cheap ass breakfast at a cafe downtown. I had a Chorizo Hash and a Bloody Mary, and my bill ran 10 bucks. After that, I hit up some bowling at Lucky Strike Lanes (an uber trendy 3rd floor bowling alley with loungers and a Bloody Mary Bar). I bowled a 163 the first game, and around an 80 the second game (in which I got absolutely worked by Nikki, who hadn't bowled in like 10 years).
After bowling, it was a walk to Coors Field in the pouring rain. Once in the field though, the rain stopped, and I took in the scenery. Awesome stadium, laid back fans. We stood right on the bullpen rail in center, where we saw D-Backs pitcher Clay Zavada's amazing waxed moustache (aka "Face Salad"). Even though I wasn't too in to the game in the beginning (I HATE NL baseball unless its the Cubs) it got exciting later on when the D-Backs put up 11 runs in three innings.
And, that's about it. The ride home sucked, but it was well worth it, and I will be going going back back to Denver Denver sometime in the future.
FOR TOM KLICK: How much shit should we give Nick tomorrow for Sakic retiring?
Denver day two started out with a cheap ass breakfast at a cafe downtown. I had a Chorizo Hash and a Bloody Mary, and my bill ran 10 bucks. After that, I hit up some bowling at Lucky Strike Lanes (an uber trendy 3rd floor bowling alley with loungers and a Bloody Mary Bar). I bowled a 163 the first game, and around an 80 the second game (in which I got absolutely worked by Nikki, who hadn't bowled in like 10 years).
After bowling, it was a walk to Coors Field in the pouring rain. Once in the field though, the rain stopped, and I took in the scenery. Awesome stadium, laid back fans. We stood right on the bullpen rail in center, where we saw D-Backs pitcher Clay Zavada's amazing waxed moustache (aka "Face Salad"). Even though I wasn't too in to the game in the beginning (I HATE NL baseball unless its the Cubs) it got exciting later on when the D-Backs put up 11 runs in three innings.
And, that's about it. The ride home sucked, but it was well worth it, and I will be going going back back to Denver Denver sometime in the future.
FOR TOM KLICK: How much shit should we give Nick tomorrow for Sakic retiring?
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Denver Day 1.5
Operation Get In To Denver began at 7 PM Thursday with a planned rendezvous point of Omaha around 1 AM. Driving through Iowa was going to be a bitch, and it was, but for unexpected reasons. The entire state smelled like a cross between youth football equipment and pig shit. Probably the most horrendous smell that one could smell, AND IT LASTED THE LENGTH OF THE STATE!
Anyways, we arrived in Omaha around 12:30 AM. A hotel was booked downtown for 50 bucks, which gives you an idea of how hoppin Omaha is. There was absolutely no one on the streets. It was like St.Paul on a Wednesday, except more boring. Really strange.
After sleeping a few hours and loading up on caffeine, we continued our journey west. I ate lunch at a place called Runza, which is a Nebraska only fast food chain that serves meat pies. It was the most awful food stuff I have ever consumed. Instead of the luscious meat pie I was expecting, I got something the same taste and consistency as a Hot Pockets Sub. Plus, the place smelled like a nursing home and was loaded with a bunch of ugly corn fed Nebraskans. Such a disappointment...
Finally, we arrived in Denver around 5. Denver is much larger and cleaner than I expected. The downtown area has a strip that is what Block Eshould be. Very vibrant, a nice mix of chain stores and local restaurants and bars, and a free bus that runs the length of the mall.
One of the bars had a drink called Rastafarian Punch, which was like a Tied To The Bedpost at Gasthof's, except bigger and cheaper. The bar also had lamb burgers and numerous other cheap drinks. Needless to say, I partook. And I ended up passing out at 11:30 due to the "altitude."
Anyways, we arrived in Omaha around 12:30 AM. A hotel was booked downtown for 50 bucks, which gives you an idea of how hoppin Omaha is. There was absolutely no one on the streets. It was like St.Paul on a Wednesday, except more boring. Really strange.
After sleeping a few hours and loading up on caffeine, we continued our journey west. I ate lunch at a place called Runza, which is a Nebraska only fast food chain that serves meat pies. It was the most awful food stuff I have ever consumed. Instead of the luscious meat pie I was expecting, I got something the same taste and consistency as a Hot Pockets Sub. Plus, the place smelled like a nursing home and was loaded with a bunch of ugly corn fed Nebraskans. Such a disappointment...
Finally, we arrived in Denver around 5. Denver is much larger and cleaner than I expected. The downtown area has a strip that is what Block Eshould be. Very vibrant, a nice mix of chain stores and local restaurants and bars, and a free bus that runs the length of the mall.
One of the bars had a drink called Rastafarian Punch, which was like a Tied To The Bedpost at Gasthof's, except bigger and cheaper. The bar also had lamb burgers and numerous other cheap drinks. Needless to say, I partook. And I ended up passing out at 11:30 due to the "altitude."
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Michael Jackson
This has got to be the strangest celeb death ever...which is fitting, because it happened to the most off the wall celeb of them all.
Michael Jackson dying is like Disneyland or McDonalds dying. This may sound crass, but its not meant to be. Michael Jackson was a cultural institution, for both good and bad reasons. Good because he produced some of the greatest R&B tracks of all time, and bad because he allegedly abused children and could not get his personal house in order (and the news media ate that up). And, truthfully, so did I. One of my favorite memories is getting absolutely hammered in Cody Stevens basement and watching "Living With Michael Jackson" on VHS to see the shit show that his life had become.
I think the real reason people are reacting to this so fervently is because it is a sort of sendoff of childhood for people in my age group. He was THE dominant pop culture force during the 80s and early 90s, a touchstone for my generation. Also, I think the music took a back seat to the creepier aspects of his personality over the last 15 or so years, and people are realizing how innovative some of those songs were. Even the drivel from the early days ("The Girl Is Mine", "Girlfriend", "Dirty Diana") kicks a lot of the other pop music of the times ass.
So in honor of the musical side of the biggest pop star of my lifetime, I'm going to do a rundown of my top 10 MJ songs, both solo and with the Jackson 5 (whom people tend to forget when discussing his career, but were really one of the best bands of the early 70s. Their first three albums...fire):
10."The Way You Make Me Feel"
9."The Love You Save"
8."Girlfriend"
7. "One More Chance"
6."Rock With You"
5."The Girl Is Mine"
4."I Want You Back"
3. "PYT (Pretty Young Thing)"
2."Don't Stop Til You Get Enough"
1."Billie Jean"
And there are so many others from that time period...the original version of "State of Shock" with Freddie Mercury instead of Mick Jagger springs to mind. Too bad his last good music came out in 1991...still, I always felt he had one great song left in him. I guess the world will never know now.
Michael Jackson dying is like Disneyland or McDonalds dying. This may sound crass, but its not meant to be. Michael Jackson was a cultural institution, for both good and bad reasons. Good because he produced some of the greatest R&B tracks of all time, and bad because he allegedly abused children and could not get his personal house in order (and the news media ate that up). And, truthfully, so did I. One of my favorite memories is getting absolutely hammered in Cody Stevens basement and watching "Living With Michael Jackson" on VHS to see the shit show that his life had become.
I think the real reason people are reacting to this so fervently is because it is a sort of sendoff of childhood for people in my age group. He was THE dominant pop culture force during the 80s and early 90s, a touchstone for my generation. Also, I think the music took a back seat to the creepier aspects of his personality over the last 15 or so years, and people are realizing how innovative some of those songs were. Even the drivel from the early days ("The Girl Is Mine", "Girlfriend", "Dirty Diana") kicks a lot of the other pop music of the times ass.
So in honor of the musical side of the biggest pop star of my lifetime, I'm going to do a rundown of my top 10 MJ songs, both solo and with the Jackson 5 (whom people tend to forget when discussing his career, but were really one of the best bands of the early 70s. Their first three albums...fire):
10."The Way You Make Me Feel"
9."The Love You Save"
8."Girlfriend"
7. "One More Chance"
6."Rock With You"
5."The Girl Is Mine"
4."I Want You Back"
3. "PYT (Pretty Young Thing)"
2."Don't Stop Til You Get Enough"
1."Billie Jean"
And there are so many others from that time period...the original version of "State of Shock" with Freddie Mercury instead of Mick Jagger springs to mind. Too bad his last good music came out in 1991...still, I always felt he had one great song left in him. I guess the world will never know now.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Fox-y Lady? aka A Treatise on Megan Fox
So I got called "a gay" today for not finding Megan Fox attractive. This isn't the first time either.
I don't know what it is, this chick just doesn't do it for me. I think there are a few factors that lead to my un-attraction to what seems to be the Hollywood "I'd fuck that" it girl of the last year and a half. I will detail those factors for you now.
1) Her face - Ol' Foxy Fox's mug just doesn't do it for me. She has a permanent scowl in most pictures I have seen, and there is some weird Joan Crawford shit going on with those eyebrows of hers. And, to top it all off, her eyes are oddly spaced.
2) Her brain - Once, I heard that she likes to fart. Then, I read that her Transformers clothes smelled "like farts". Clearly, something is wrong with this broad. Nothing disgusts me more than women talking about bodily functions. NOTHING! Don't get me wrong, I love a chick who thinks like a man in certain aspects, but not about farting. God, no.
3)Her "talent" - What has she been in? Transformers? Thats it, right? Oh, and Maxim. Seeing as how I never saw the first Transformers(but, admittedly, thought it LOOKED cool) maybe I missed out on the sex appeal. But still, show me something else. Maybe a cute little romantic comedy I watch on the sly without my boys knowing, or a drama where you go to Africa like DSL Angelina Jolie.
Maybe its me, I don't know. I mean, I find certain celebs attractive (I won the "you just don't like her because we all like her" argument at work because I detailed what I would do to Jessica Biel) but just not this little cookie of love.
I don't know what it is, this chick just doesn't do it for me. I think there are a few factors that lead to my un-attraction to what seems to be the Hollywood "I'd fuck that" it girl of the last year and a half. I will detail those factors for you now.
1) Her face - Ol' Foxy Fox's mug just doesn't do it for me. She has a permanent scowl in most pictures I have seen, and there is some weird Joan Crawford shit going on with those eyebrows of hers. And, to top it all off, her eyes are oddly spaced.
2) Her brain - Once, I heard that she likes to fart. Then, I read that her Transformers clothes smelled "like farts". Clearly, something is wrong with this broad. Nothing disgusts me more than women talking about bodily functions. NOTHING! Don't get me wrong, I love a chick who thinks like a man in certain aspects, but not about farting. God, no.
3)Her "talent" - What has she been in? Transformers? Thats it, right? Oh, and Maxim. Seeing as how I never saw the first Transformers(but, admittedly, thought it LOOKED cool) maybe I missed out on the sex appeal. But still, show me something else. Maybe a cute little romantic comedy I watch on the sly without my boys knowing, or a drama where you go to Africa like DSL Angelina Jolie.
Maybe its me, I don't know. I mean, I find certain celebs attractive (I won the "you just don't like her because we all like her" argument at work because I detailed what I would do to Jessica Biel) but just not this little cookie of love.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I'll Be Your Natural Selection
So whilst watching Sports Center tonight (its come down to Sports Center and more Sports Center as the only thing I can watch on TV) I saw a commercial for Natural Light. Ah yes, Natty Light...the beer every poor kid drank in college. Except for my crew, who was more discerning, and drank Old Style, Grain Belt, and Pabst if we wanted to do it on the cheap.
The thing that struck me about seeing a Natural Light ad was that I had never seen one before. Without any advertising, one of the shittiest beers brewed by the shittiest brewery (Anheuser-Busch) is the #6 selling beer in the U.S.A. Natty Light is the equavalent of Nickelback...no one admits to liking it, girls go "whooo" in its presence, and its really popular with frat boys.
Personally, I never have even considered buying that shit...except for the time I saw a 30 banger of it in Chicago for $8.99. That would come out to 30 cents a can! Actually, I think the only time I actively consumed the Natty was when I played flippy cup at a house party in Bloomington where I knew nobody. That one time was enough for me, 30 cents per 12 oz or no 30 cents per 12 oz.
The thing that struck me about seeing a Natural Light ad was that I had never seen one before. Without any advertising, one of the shittiest beers brewed by the shittiest brewery (Anheuser-Busch) is the #6 selling beer in the U.S.A. Natty Light is the equavalent of Nickelback...no one admits to liking it, girls go "whooo" in its presence, and its really popular with frat boys.
Personally, I never have even considered buying that shit...except for the time I saw a 30 banger of it in Chicago for $8.99. That would come out to 30 cents a can! Actually, I think the only time I actively consumed the Natty was when I played flippy cup at a house party in Bloomington where I knew nobody. That one time was enough for me, 30 cents per 12 oz or no 30 cents per 12 oz.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Chicago Day 2
Day two started off with a train ride down to Wrigleyville. We didn't have tickets to the game, so a group decision was made to go bar hopping. The area was PACKED with Twins fans, Saturday being better than Friday by probably about 70/30. Cubs fans weren't as jovial as the previous day, giving us a lot of shit about coming into their territory and giving off a overall kind of defeated vibe (not that the defeated vibe is anything new for a Cubbies fan).
After the Twins sealed the deal, we went to a newish bar that had $2 Old Styles. That's when the fun began. A group of about 15 Minnesotans, mainly dudes,were having a dance off in the corner We stayed there for about 2 hours, and stumbled out into the streets to drunkenly take pictures and rabble rouse with other Twins fans (and strangely enough, one really depressed Washington Nationals fan). Then we hopped a train downtown.
The train was nothing but drunk Twins fans chanting some awesome nonsense. A few chant examples were "Frank The Tank" and "KFC." The dude who was presumably Frank The Tank tried to use my brothers girlfriends rack as a hand rail, and also missed his stop. Yet, no one seemed too annoyed with the Tank's shenanigans.
Drunk as all getup, we ambled about downtown, where a man's car from Ontario had broke down. Instead of thinking that (the logical choice), we all assumed that he was Ghostriding the Whip down State Street. So we chanted "Ghostride the Whip" at him instead of making any effort to help. I stand firm that this was the right decision...
After we sort of kind of sobered up, we had a less than good meal at Rock Bottom Brewery. Then, it was time for home, where some of the party tried to keep the hotel pool open past 10PM, to no avail.
After the Twins sealed the deal, we went to a newish bar that had $2 Old Styles. That's when the fun began. A group of about 15 Minnesotans, mainly dudes,were having a dance off in the corner We stayed there for about 2 hours, and stumbled out into the streets to drunkenly take pictures and rabble rouse with other Twins fans (and strangely enough, one really depressed Washington Nationals fan). Then we hopped a train downtown.
The train was nothing but drunk Twins fans chanting some awesome nonsense. A few chant examples were "Frank The Tank" and "KFC." The dude who was presumably Frank The Tank tried to use my brothers girlfriends rack as a hand rail, and also missed his stop. Yet, no one seemed too annoyed with the Tank's shenanigans.
Drunk as all getup, we ambled about downtown, where a man's car from Ontario had broke down. Instead of thinking that (the logical choice), we all assumed that he was Ghostriding the Whip down State Street. So we chanted "Ghostride the Whip" at him instead of making any effort to help. I stand firm that this was the right decision...
After we sort of kind of sobered up, we had a less than good meal at Rock Bottom Brewery. Then, it was time for home, where some of the party tried to keep the hotel pool open past 10PM, to no avail.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Chicago Day 1
So the day started off at 2am, with the drive down. Fortunately, no one fell asleep at the wheel and we arrived in the Windy City around 10am.
Immediaiately after checking in, we hopped on a train to Wrigley. It was my third time in the Friendly Confines so I kind of knew what to expect...lots of well behaved Cubs fans and a relaxed atmosphere. What I didn't expect was the swarm of Twins fans. I would say probably 60 percent of the crowd was pro-Twin. And when Joe Mauer went yard, the place got loud. Like Dome loud.
After the game, Wrigleyville was so packed with Twins supporters it was hard to move. So we took a train back to the suburbs and went for some Giordanos. As always, the combonation of cheese, tomatos and flaky pie crust put me in heaven.
Because no one had slept in nearly 36 hours, we decided to just go pick up some beer at 7-Eleven and call it a night. Saving all our downtown energies for tonight was the plan
Immediaiately after checking in, we hopped on a train to Wrigley. It was my third time in the Friendly Confines so I kind of knew what to expect...lots of well behaved Cubs fans and a relaxed atmosphere. What I didn't expect was the swarm of Twins fans. I would say probably 60 percent of the crowd was pro-Twin. And when Joe Mauer went yard, the place got loud. Like Dome loud.
After the game, Wrigleyville was so packed with Twins supporters it was hard to move. So we took a train back to the suburbs and went for some Giordanos. As always, the combonation of cheese, tomatos and flaky pie crust put me in heaven.
Because no one had slept in nearly 36 hours, we decided to just go pick up some beer at 7-Eleven and call it a night. Saving all our downtown energies for tonight was the plan
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Take A Letter, Maria
Sorry about the lack of posts lately, I just haven't really been in the mood to write. My grandmother passed away last Friday morning and I haven't really been up to the challenge of slinging together a good rant, a music review, or a softball story.
I'm going to start fresh this weekend...I'm going to Chi-City for Cubs-Twins at Wrigley and I will be dragging along the Laptop for another running Chicago daily journal. So get prepared for stories involving Old Style, pizza, and brahskis...not in that order hopefully.
I'm going to start fresh this weekend...I'm going to Chi-City for Cubs-Twins at Wrigley and I will be dragging along the Laptop for another running Chicago daily journal. So get prepared for stories involving Old Style, pizza, and brahskis...not in that order hopefully.
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