Sunday, May 01, 2011

Goin' To Kansas City, Kansas City Here I Come



This past weekend marked the annual trip to see the Twins play outside of MPLS. The destination this season was Kansas City. I was to KC once before when I was 14 and I recall it being a steaming dump full of crumbling factories and Hyper Wal-Marts. Therefore, my main excitement for this trip was seeing the renovated Kauffman Stadium. Fortunately, the city did not disappoint. Unlike the Twins themselves.

The MPLS Wreckin' Crew rolled into KC around 3 PM and promptly found a QuikTrip from which to procure Boulevard Ale and Rollergrill food (the Popeye's Po Boy ingested for breakfast didn't quite cut it). After many Boulevards, a cab was taken to the "new" Kauffman Stadium. A few friends were also in town for the series, so the Crew decided to meet them in our half full section (they had seats in an adjoining section). This proved fruitless, as a spinsteress usher dubbed "The Twins Hunter" shooed them away from the empty seats (the same usher chastised us the following day for "possibly cursing" as a Royals fan dumped a tub of popcorn on himself while almost passing out in our section). So instead of sitting in the seats, walking around commenced posthaste. Twenty Ounce Margaritas called "Royal-Ritas" were consumed. Cheesecake Factory was eaten at 1AM. Oh, and the Twins lost because Drew Butera sucked at baseball that night.



On Saturday I ate this sex bomb. It was from a BBQ place called Oklahoma Joe's in a gas station. The Crew waited in line for the BBQ for an hour and a half. It was the most amazing sandwich ever, containing Provolone, two onion rings and brisket. It was better than any sex I've had recently, which has been none.

One similarity between Kansas City and MPLS is that they both have Half Price Books. So, a Half Price Books mini tour was undertaken. There was a LOT more Jazz records at HPB in MO/KS, and that just ain't my bag, baby. So I focused on the usual and purchased Otis Redding "Live In Europe", Queen "A Day at the Races", the George Duke album with 'Dukey Stick' for 50 cents, and Al Green "Explores Your Mind". And also an Archies album (which kicks ass). Total cost was about 15 bones.

Game two was started off with some Summer Shandy's (KC is a pretty fantastic beer town too) in the lot, followed by a whole lot of shitty baseball. Alex Gordon channeled George Brett finally, and Joe Nathan channeled me in 1999 when I could no longer throw my fastball in Babe Ruth League, and the Twins shamed themselves. On the way out, a nice young KC lass came over to chat with the Crew and all was going swimmingly until the lasses BFF puked on a bench.

Once the hotel was reached, there were no parking spots to speak of. This made the Crew angry, and dampened the plan to go clubbing. Fortunately, there were frat boys from K-State and Mizzou in the parking lot discussing how much coke they had. This (coupled with a loving Full Nelson executed on a sorority sister by one of the K-State gents) lightened the mood quite a bit. Of course, the Crew does not sniff the coke, so the hotel room was retired to where the passing out could commence.

Kansas City was not the same old dump I went to in 1997. The whole place was clean (even the ghetto paths traversed to the stadium), and the people were very friendly (save for some drunken bags at the stadium). Overall, a grand vacay to start this summer season off right.

3 comments:

dottie hinson said...

i do the same kind of trip every year myself! '09=beantown, '10=chi-town, '11=baltimore?

looks like fun, even if you were cheering for minnesota!

Jake said...

I wanted to do Boston either this year or next year. Last year was the first in quite a few I didn't do the trip...I did Denver, Milwaukee and Chicago in '09, and Cincy, Chicago and Milwaukee in '08.

Why Baltimore? Camden Yards looks niiiice, but the city is a dump I've heard.

dottie hinson said...

i usually try and hit as many ballparks as possible in a season...last year i did 5 (skydome, jacobs, pnc park, comiskey, wrigley) and so far this year i've been to safeco, the skydome, and am supposed to head down to comerica this weekend for the first time.

kind of dumb...but there's one day of the season, i guess kind of like a ritual, where i want to spend it with the bo-sox. usually my big baseball trips inolve a week or so checking out the city they're playing in on that day, but upon further review, there's nothing really drawing me in to spend any extra amount of time in baltimore, haha.

how were milwaukee and cincinnati? you should do fenway in 2012, it's the 100-year anniversary!