Ah, yes, Spring. Or was we like to call it in Minnesota, the three weeks before Summer...
For some reason, Spring has fucking sucked this year. Sucked more than Larry Craig in a bathhouse in 1976. The weather has felt like what I picture London being like, the Twins are inconsistent, and yesterday, my utility closet filled with my neighbors dookie.
Yep, what I thought was a burst pipe was somehow my neighbors shite. This is quite possibly the grossest fucking thing that I have ever experienced. Trust me, you never feel as humble as when you are cleaning up someone else's doodoo feces and toilet paper. From now on, the U.C. is going to be called the "Michael Jackson Memorial Utility Closet." All will be better if the Wild somehow score a motherfucking goal and beat the Avs. Oh, and I will be at Wrigley Field in six days. That fact is so sexual it makes me want to cry real big boy tears.
The Cuts(DooDoo Wap Is Strong In Here Edition):
X-Ray Spex-Germ Free Adolescents
Radiohead-Videotape
AC/DC-Highway To Hell
KISS-Ladies Room
Arcade Fire-Keep The Car Running.
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