Via Chicago

There was so much amusement that happened this last week, I don't know where to begin. I will try to do a daily rundown.

Thursday:
I got a speeding ticket in Eau Claire. I hate everything about Wisconsin. I wish we would start a war over cheese and invade that hell hole. But they did have a Rocky Rococo Pizza Theatre in Madison that was excellent. Anyways, we rolled into the city around 2PM. The hotel didn't allow check ins until 3PM, so we went to Target and a liquor store next to a pre-school to stock up on Gatorade and Old Style. We checked in, proceded to drink said Old Style, then went to Giordano's for the first Chicago style stuffed pizza of the trip. And more beer. Then we went back to the hotel, where Jeff and I proceded to pass out for an hour while Milla went down to the hotel bar for some overpriced booze. I was really surly due to the beer and the lack of sleep, but I was talked in to going to Hooters. Hooters was the only restruant around the hotel, and it really sucked. I mean, I love tits and ass just as much as the next guy, but it was really pathetic and the food sucked. Then we watched Entourage and went to bed.

Friday:
Got up and worked out in the hotel workout room. Then we went and ate at Giordano's again, because its better than sex. After the sexual pizza, we boarded the Blue Line for downtown. The train was packed and sweaty to the point of sickness. Jeff had some dudes ass cheeks on his, and I think Milla got a seat. Anyways, we arrived at Lollapalooza and watched Ohmega Watts with a few other people. He gave love to some local rappers he produced, and the show was pretty killer. Then I caught a few minutes of the eels, who just jammed aimlessly for the few minutes we saw them. A group decision was made to go drink and buy CDs at Tower. I purchased a Kinks album and a Love album. We came back to see The Raconteurs, who slayed hardcore. They played pretty much their entire new album, and covered "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" and Gnarls Barkleys "Crazy". Jack White and Brendan Benson sang into one mic like it was 1964, and the sun set. It was awesome. Then the Violent Femmes played some classics (but more new stuff), which made the crowd restless. Some brah behind me told them to play their hits. They obliged by tearing into "Add It Up" and "American Music" and getting every aging hipster pumped. Then it was on to Ween for a bit. I saw the brothers Ween play "Spinal Menningitis" and "That's What Deaner Was Talking About" like a rock monster. It was spectacular, but we were all tired and we wanted to go to the House Of Blues to see Lyrics Born. So we left after five songs.

The House of Blues was incredibly small (about half the size of the Quest). We saw Ohmega Watts play the same (good) set, and then saw L.B. rip the shit out of his. Damn, that man has some stage presence. Blackalicious was the headliner, but it was about 12:30 AM after the first two acts, so it was decided to go back to the hotel. We took a cab, and some homeless guy tried to get in. Thats when we saw the awesome power of Angry Milla. He slammed the door and pushed at the dude, saying "What the fuck do you think your doing?" The cab ride was long, as the highway was down to one lane and the cabbie spoke no English. I went straight to bed when I got back.

TO BE CONTINUED...