2005 Albums of the Year

2005 was a pretty good year for music, as long as you didn't listen to top 40 radio. Then, it was all stuff like "Wait til you see my dick, bitch" and "I'll take you to the candy shop, I'll let you lick the lollypop." 2005 was the year of the dick in pop music, I guess. Gay. Anyways, here is a few of my favorite albums and singles of the last year.

Common "Go"- I approached this one carefully after the hogepodge of mediocrity that was "Electric Circus." "Go" came out swinging like Sugar Ray Lenoard to "Circus" Fat George Foreman. Kanye made some classic beats while Common throws out classic lines about being more faithful than Eric Benet. And "The Food" comes out of nowhere to be the first "live" cut on a rap CD in, well, the first that I can remember.

Shout Out Louds "Howl Howl Gaff Gaff"- The Swedish Cars. Synths, girly lyrics that very obviously were written by ESL dudes. A bassist that smelled like rock and roll and had a creepy beard. "Very Loud" wasn't, but who the hell cares when it kicks so much ass?

LCD Soundsystem- Ass shaking one minute, Beatles ripoff the next. A Daft Punk houseparty would have been the shit in, like, 1998. This was labled techno, dance and a whole lot of other stuff, but I call it rock. Mainly because of the copious amounts of cowbell.

New Pornographers "Twin Cinema"- Lord almighty, do I love power pop. I really dig the guy singing one minute, the country chick singing the next. I am not really sure what "listening to long to one song/Sing me Spanish techno" means but I like it.

Bloc Party "Silent Alarm"- This one sounds like "Boys Don't Cry" crossed with...well, it really just is straight up Cure. But the Cure if Robert Smith wasn't fat, and he was black. And I'm pretty sure that the lead singer would be cooler than Robert Smith, who is pretty damn rad in my book. A punky good time, with rave-ups and icy ballads.

White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"- I listened to this and was all, "Holy Hell, this is a little different than the other four." Then I realized that they took lounge pop and rocked the hell out of it. It sounds like some twisted 60s Phil Spector nightmare. And the cover kicks ass, mainly because Jack White looks like a gay movie cowboy, predating "Brokeback Mountain" by like six months.

Brendan Benson "The Alternative To Love"- A work of power pop genius. I still am totally unsure of what Jack White sees in this dude. I too, am forever in search of the alternative to love. And "Spit It Out" will be considered a classic in five years, I guarantee.

Beck "Guero"- Nothing this man does is boring. This one rocked like "Odelay" and in many ways trumps it. The singles are not up to that albums classics ("Girl" may be), but the whole album seems to flow better. "Missing" is an all time classic.

Lyrics Born "Same Shit, Different Day"- A remix album of the classic "Later That Day." Nuff said. Oh wait. "I Changed My Mind" is on it too. There is no justice until Lyrics Born hits the mainstream.

Spoon "Gimmie Fiction"- Something about this is just cool. The album cover looks like a 50s photo shoot, and the music is straight up indie pop. "Sister Jack" was so bomb that it was in "Wedding Crashers" and "I Turn My Camera On" is a creepy funk jam. And there is a song about Dungeons and Dragons I think also.

Franz Ferdinand "You Could Have It So Much Better"- The ambiguously gay party sluts go all straight and sing pretty ballads about their girlfriends on top of their songs about gay hookups. Yes, I believe you now. You truly are the new Scottish Gentry.

Magic Numbers- What the Mamas and the Papas would be if they came out now and kind of quasi rocked the folk jams.

The TOP 2 Albums of 2005:

RUNNER UP: The Hold Steady "Seperation Sunday"- A great bar band telling stories about Stillwater, South Minneapolis and...OSSEO? Freaking Osseo? On a national album? Hood rats going straight? I can't believe this turned out to be so damn amazing. It vibes with what I heard from Peter Harold Quist about the early 90s in Minneapolis. The homeless kids camped out for the buses, and City Center was the center but no one goes there now. A "Born To Run" for the new century.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Kings Of Leon "Aha Shake Heartbreak- This album kicked my ass twelve ways to Sunday. Southern decadence crossed with gutter punk mentality. The best live show of the year, maybe the best ever. "The Bucket" becoming an anthem. Gods? I know this.

SINGLES OF THE YEAR: 2005 had to be the worst year for pop singles in a long time. So most of these are rock songs. Thanks to Jeff Hill for introducing me to about half of the new music I heard last year.

"Plays The Hits" HAL- The Beach Boys outdone. Summer in three and a half minutes.

"I Predict A Riot" Kaiser Chiefs- Britpop lives! What the hell is getting "Larried" exactly?

"Hounds Of Love" The Futureheads- A remake of a fucking Kate Bush song by dudes who really dig on the Jam. Awesome.

"Gold Digger" Kanye West- Can I say anything that hasn't been said about this one? Oh yeah, I hate Ray Charles.

"Spit It Out" Brendan Benson- Jack Whites BFF jamming on his relationship issues.

"Do You Want To?" Franz Ferndinand- Most poncy since Bowie sang about the church of man, love.

"Girl" Beck- Another summer jam. And I think its about killing your lady or stealing her eyes or something like that.

"Daft Punk Is Playing in My House" LCD Soundsystem- Dude, I think that you were the only person waiting for Daft Punk to play your house. Still kickass.

"The Bucket" Kings Of Leon- 18, balding. Obviously Kate Moss didn't care, as she still did coke with you guys.

"Banquet" Bloc Party- The line "I'm on fire when you come" is just so filthy.

"Rebellion (Lies)" Arcade Fire- A jam that, unfortunately, got way too hyped by indie fucktards.