Where Are You Now?

Cody's last supper was an interesting time. There were a bunch of people that I rather would not have seen, but it was good. I guess a frisbee with pics of the kid who laughed at Yoda on it are ok, but not that kids balls. Watching Peter hump Cody one last time was amusing, and now I have it as my wallpaper on my phone.

In other news, I am transferring to the Northtown Starbucks starting in mid-September. It is a new store, and it will not be as busy as the Maple Grove one, which is a nice change. Also, it will be nice to be in a different area. The Northtown store will be about ten minutes quicker to get to, and the customers may not be as high maintenence. I am so sick of people demanding there only be one half shot of espresso in their latte or mocha. Come the fuck on! Don't come to a coffee shop and order a $4 drink if you don't want coffee flavor. Or order a Frappuccino or something.

The Cuts:
"I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" The Rubinoos
"Shelter From The Storm" Bob Dylan
"Sing Me Spanish Techno" The New Pornographers
"Do You Want To?" Franz Ferdinand
"Soul Meets Body" Death Cab For Cuite

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

The Bloodhound Gang have released the worst song in the history of recorded music. It is called Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo. Hey, look guys, they said FUCK in the title! The whole song is them inventing new euphamisms for sex. One involves pudding or something. I would rather eat at Old Country Buffet for the rest of my life than ever hear this shit again. I actually find the dumb shit that the Bloodhound Gang usually puts out funny, but this is just fucking painful. Oh, and this song took SIX years to put out. They were "working on" the song in 2001. Holy shit, this is bad.

She's My Tender Roni

Cody's going away party provided for some interesting moments. Christian decided to play Bobby Brown's greatest hits, which caused most of the other non-former-Farmers to clear the lane. His parents had an excpetional taco bar, which had about seven different kinds of salsa. Most of the night, Cody sauntered around to different people while this couple groped each other in the corner. It did kind of suck because I was the only person at the whole party not drinking, but it was interesting none the less.

Otherwise, it has been nothing but work, which sucks ass. I worked almost 40 hours at Starbucks this week. I got a huge ass paycheck though, which I haven't had a chance to spend.

Don't Want No Sugar Cereal, Cause It Makes My Teeth Bacterial

What happened to toys in cereal? Back in the day, there was always a sweet toy even in the lamest of cereals. Except for King Vitamin, which they gave to the welfare kids and featured a lame-ass mask on the back. The last toy I remember was that Halloween disc that Nate would play at the Farm that featured the song "Boo, I'm Gonna Scare You." The best toys ever were the Soggies and Cap'n figures that came in Cap'n Crunch back in like '85 or '86. The soggies glowed in the dark. Also, the bowls that came with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cereal were cool as hell, but the cereal tasted like stale ass. Those little nets cut the roof of your mouth worse than anything. Oh, and the Post Cereals giving out the baseball cards every Spring was really sweet also. They always had their team logos blocked out, but they were still kickass.

The Cuts:
"Where You Get Love" Matthew Sweet
"The Bitterest Pill" The Jam"
"You're Dead" Alkaline Trio
"Thunder Island" Jay Fergusson (The gayest 70s song...EVER?)

Can't Knock The Hustle For Real

WE FUCKING WON!!! A game won, without a forefit. We took the first game 14-12, with some stellar play by Nick Miller at second and a bunch of dingers by this ringer named Bill. Then we lost the second game 26-16. I tried to leg out a triple, but my visions of grandeur were quashed when the Allman Brothers looking third baseman tagged me out on my ass. So gay, but I got a few Ribbies and made a few decent plays at first. God, a win feels good. Kind of like sub-par sex.

The Cuts:
"Up On Cripple Creek" The Band
"If I Can't Change Your Mind" Sugar
"Dracula's Wedding" Andre 3000
"Step Into My Office" Belle and Sebastian

Oh, and tomorrow I have an interview with my district manager about a promotion. I am told it is merely a formality, so soon I will be getting a raise. More CDs, more food.

Indian Outlaw, Part Cherokee and Choctaw

We won the second game of the tournament (over the CPHS jocks Bomb Squad) because they didn't show up. Then we got killed by a team of 40 year old Indian dudes. Oh well, Fall League starts tomorrow. Work today was really lame. I had to work the front desk for 2 1/2 hours because no one showed up. Working front desk is the equivalent of getting it in the tailpipe by Shaq, Tommy Lee and Milton Berle one after the other. Then, my lunch was interrupted by a page telling me to check the sauna because the Hmong family that bathes each other was sitting in there naked, according to some member. After asking the patriarch if they were indeed clothed, I went back to eating my sandwich. Alas, my appetite was ruined.

Songs of the day:
"Tears Of A Clown" The English Beat
"See A Little Light" Bob Mould
"So Here We Are" Bloc Party
"Little Sister" Queens Of The Stone Age

I'm Dick Butkis

We lost the first game of our softball tourney today, 16-4. The team was made up of a bunch of fucking ex-jocks and was sponsored by some shit bar Nordeast. And when one popped up, he yelled "Fritzy." I guess you can't escape high school no matter how hard you try. And their catcher was Dustin Wagner. What the hell? CPHS has too much pull in the Brooklyn Center "D" softball league.

Quote of the game: "So, are all the other teams in your league fags too?" Jeff Hill

Givin' You The Business All Night Long

Sorry about the lack of update, but I have been busy with work and sleep and the whatnot. Lately I have been playing a lot of tennis (or 'nis as Jesse "Red" Lind called it) and some basketball. I also have been watching the "Arrested Development" Season 1 set my brother Zach bought. Fantastic purchase. Also decided to load up the ol' Ipod with some old favorites, and now I am up to over 5000 songs. Oh, and I bought Ted Leo and the Pharmacists (friggin excellent) The Dirtbombs B Sides and Rarities disc (also friggin excellent) and Spiritualized "Ladies and Gentleman, We Are Floating In Space"(haven't listened to it yet). All in all, not too interesting of a week.

Whats on it? The Cuts (for week ending 8/14/05):
"I'm Mad"-EPMD
"Raw Power"-Iggy and The Stooges
"First Day Of My Life"-Bright Eyes
"Mayonaise"-Smashing Pumpkins
"Fell On Black Days"-Soundgarden

I told you I was going old school, especially on the last two. Oh, and last night I had a dream that I was put into a jungle outpost to study nature. Then my dad yelled at my brother Aaron for buying some crappy album. He told him not to make the same mistakes that he did because he bought a Parliment album that sucked where "Bootsy was undoing George Clinton's bowtie" on the back cover.

Surrender, Surrender, But Don't Give Yourself Away

Today was a good day. I got off work an hour early and I proceded to get a Crunch Wrap Supreme from Taco Bell. The Crunch Wrap Supreme is the greatest invention known to man. There is like 50 things folded over inside a tortilla and grilled to perfection. The best T-Bell item since the invent of the Chalupa in 1999. Anyways, I also heard "Surrender" by Cheap Trick on JACK as I was driving down the parkway and, lo and behold, a golfer was in the middle of his back swing. So I laid on the horn and floored it. I got so pumped that I had to take a three hour nap.

Daddy Was A Cop On The East Side Of Chicago

My weekend was tiring. I worked 15 hours between the two jobs yesterday, eight on Saturday, and six on Friday. Still, I found some time to chill at Jeffs and have a few beers on Saturday night. It was kind of cool seeing the whole gang there. I cannot remember the last time Mok, Quade and Cody all were together. It was a good time, with many mixes bumped.

I've been broke as a joke and as corrupt as a senator, so I have been listening to a lot of weird shit due to the fact that I can't buy CDs like usual. I have been bumping mad 70s AM Gold CDs, playing shit like "The Night Chicago Died," "Billy Don't Be A Hero," and "Fooled Around and Fell In Love." This got me thinking about the current state of radio.

Back in the 70s, KDWB played everything. I found a site that has their old playlists, and Black Sabbath would be followed by Sly and the Family Stone, which would be followed by Sammy Davis Jr. Now, its all shitty rap and pop metal. Where is the variety? Another thing is that most of the bands that got radio airplay back in the day were pre-fab studio bands. They would just have the same five dudes record songs under different names. Like "Beach Baby" was by First Class, and "Hitchin A Ride" was by Vanity Fare. But it was the same band. This shit could fly today, because MTV doesn't air videos and only older bands draw good numbers touring. I wonder why no one works that angle? Oh well, stations like JACK and XM will kill terrestrial radio as we know it in the next five years.

Da Da Da Duh...The Reflex, Flex, Flex Flex Flex

The Kings of Leon are the hick rock dandy kings. The concert last night put hair in places I have never seen, if you know what I mean. Never before have I seen three men strut onstage in womens clothing and sing songs about impotence and gang rumbles with so much abandon. And the girls understood. There was a strange mix of preps, old rockers, new New Wave chicks and scuzzballs in Dikembe Mutombo jerseys. Every song was sung along with like it was some sort of Dashboard Confessional show crossed with a tent revival, which, given the Kings Baptist roots, seems apt. Highlights included the band shaking their asses as they played towards the drummer, and the lead singer getting so excited at the end of "Tranni" that he had to toss the mic stand at the ground. And everyone was smoking cigs on the stage, which seemed eternally cool for some reason. Sure, they didn't sing "Day Old Blues" (as like three dudes behind me cried out for) but they did play every other song off their two albums.

The openers, The Shout Out Louds, were no slouches themselves. I kept thinking, as they ripped through their set, "Shit, these guys (and girl) are going to be fucking huge." They sounded even better live then on their excellent CD "Howl Howl Gaff Gaff." A Swedish Cars or Weezer would sum them up, but their lyrics were more emo than either band. The enterance was met with indifference, but the crowd booed the lead singer when he said it would be the end of their set. Even cooler was the fact that the band went into the crowd to watch the other bands and even played pool. Jeff Hill said that he saw the lead singer checking out some hottie while she was bent over. And we think we smelled the bassist by the merch booth, and he smelled pretty bad. Who can blame him, he was rocking out in a full suit.

The Secret Machines sounded like a primordial Pink Floyd. They were good, good enough to make me buy their EP, but eight minute long jams are not usually my bag at concerts. Still, their cover of Dylan's "Girl From The North Country" made me nearly cry, it was so beautiful. The drummer was amazing, and he looked like a stoned caveman. He never once looked up from his kit, he was so into beating the shit out.
(I listened to the EP today, and the songs play much better on disc than live. Still, not as much drum. Which isn't a good thing)

Your Little Hood Rat Friend

I played mad tennis today, and I lost to Quade and Nick pretty bad. I kept blowing huge leads, and it sucked. But I did win a few games from Nick, and after one I posed like Shawn Michaels over my racket. It was fucking hot.

I bought five new CDs this weekend, and I am feeling them all. The best of the bunch is by this group called The Hold Steady. The lead singer was from Minneapolis, and he wrote a bunch of confessional songs about doing drugs in Osseo and how no one hangs out at City Center. It sounds kind of like a punk rock Bruce Springsteen. Also enjoying the Jamie Lidell, the Shout Out Louds and the Belle and Sebastian CD. I heard about all but the Belle and Sebastian from Jeff and Christian, so it looks like I have lost my title as the go to guy for new music. And I also feel the shit out of the new Gwen Stefani song "Cool." I love 80s sounding shit.

Oh, and I also got tickets to the Kings Of Leon concert on Thursday. It is going to be the shit, for sure. I bet the Kings kick ass so hard live, those coked-out ponces. I swear, confidence or extreme sadness make the best music. No in between. Either you are a suicidal nutjob like Nick Drake or Morrissey, or you swagger like you got the biggest cock like Mick and Keith or Liam and Noel. Guys who lead normal lives make albums like Ben Folds. Granted, I love Ben Folds more than most other stuff, but he doesn't make the most exciting music out there. His best songs were when he was sad and bored on "Whatever and Ever Amen." Also, the Stones have sucked since they kicked the drugs and whores. Complacency leads to shit.

Jennine, I Can Be Him

I bought Fall Out Boys pussy-punk opus "From Under The Cork Tree" today. The re-virginization of Jacob Donald Eickholt is now complete. I have been listening to a bootyload of pop punk lately, and its 2001 all over again. Lame, but brilliant. And another waitress laughed at me at Broadway today. Quade felt the need to yell, "You don't have a real job," and then the chick laughed. Hahahahaha LOL.

Then Best Buy provided me with plentiful hot chicks. It doesn't matter where, the workers, the customers, whatever. There is hot ladies aplenty at the Maple Grove Best Buy. Every time I walk in I am greeted by a hot security guard. Its much better than the guy everyone called "Stoolio" at the Brooklyn Center because he was too lazy to stand up. One time he told Jeff Hill that "Everyone and they moms was buying Training Day." God, that Best Buy was lame. Oh well, it kicked the BC Circuit Citys ass. They had more CDs and they were cheaper, but it was like a ghost town up there.

The Wise Man Has The Power To Reason Away

Wedding Crashers is the funniest movie I have seen in a long time. I swear, Vince Vaughn is giving Ferrell a run for his money as the man who makes me laugh the most. "The girl in the hat just eye fucked the shit out of me" is just so damn out there.

I have been bumping mad 70s tunes for the last few days. All the heavyweights. Billy, Elton, Sir Paul, Rod. They all get equal play. The best 70s song that I have uncovered recently is "Couldn't I Just Tell You?" by Todd Rundgren. God, this song is amazing. And to think, the bastard went on to write bullshit like "Bang on the Drum All Day." Truly a wasted talent.

Oh, and Bush is even more of a puppet whore than I previously thought. Now, he won't fire his daddy Karl Rove because he didn't officially commit a crime. What the hell is this? And John Kerry is a flip-flopper? Stick to your guns, Mr. Mission Accomplished. I fucking hate that shit eating son of a bitch more than anyone. Just turning over the fold on the Star Tribune today made me want to puke. I can't wait to see who he nominates to the Supreme Court tonight. Probably another religious right puppet, like himself. The only way I can hold back the tears is to tell myself, three more years. That, and bump some more "What A Fool Believes" or some T.Rex.

Stay All Day, If You Want To

I heard "Gouge Away" by the Pixies twice in a row today on 89.3 The Current. I got pumped both times to the point that my fellow motorists were watching me.

Fantastic Four is suprisingly good. I went into it pretty worried that it would suck like The Hulk, which I defended because I went to the midnight showing and paid $8. But the movie had a nice sense of humor, even though some parts were really slow.

I was bored the other day, and I came to the conclusion that Bo Jackson was my favorite athlete of all time, at his peak. Had he stuck to one sport, we would be talking about the greatest running back or greatest center fielder of all time. I went to a Twins game in 1990 and I actually wrote in my scorecard that Bo was a showboat. He was catching the ball behind his back and between his legs while warming up and I was in awe that someone could do that without any effort, and it kind of made me mad. Oh, and that Score card/poster with him in the shoulder pads/bat was the pimpest shit at back in the day.

Other random sports thoughts:
My favorite baseball player of all time is Ken Griffey Jr. I have loved Griffey since 1991, and sometimes my Mariners obsession got out of hand in the mid-1990s. It's still nice to see him hit one out, even with all the other injures. Easily the best player I have ever seen live, and I watched Puckett, Molitor and others for years. In 1997, I saw him hit one out at the Dome, with about 3,000 other people.

Favortie basketball player of all time: Jordan. Need I say more? I fucking loved everything that MJ did when I was a kid. I also was a huge Grant Hill fan, but I remember having Jordan posters on my wall when I was 6 0r 7. I watched every minute of every Finals game the Bulls ever played, and I can tell you where I was when he scored 35 in the first half against the Blazers in 1992 (my Aunt Jenny's house eating bar-b-que) and when he scored 63 against the Celtics in 1986 (the Holiday Inn in Brooklyn Center). The Babe Ruth of basketball. The 1993 Finals were tough to watch, as I loved the Suns with Sir Charles and the Bulls. I rooted for the Suns, but when Paxon hit that three, I didn't exactly cry.

Muhammad Ali is the most important athlete ever. Hands down. He held the title off and on from 1964 to 1978, which is forever in boxing. He also stood up for what he believed to the point that prison was an option. That takes some cojones, to give up your career because you "ain't got no quarrel with the Vietcong." He also was such a bad motherfucker there was a top 40 song about him being a black superman, and he felt the need to tell the announcers (after he won his first title) that he was a bad man and so pretty. He talked jive like a pimp, fought with his hands at his sides, and advanced black rights by being the best and loudest. Thats some cool shit.

Is There Life Out There?

I went to my uncles wedding reception last night, and it confirmed my stance on marriage for the time being. If you want to do it, good for you, but it ain't my bag. I just saw all the people there who didn't look happy, and it outweighed the ones who did. Weird atmosphere. But they had a free keg for a couple of hours, so that was fun.

What was also weird was the fact that I actually had a conversation with my grandfather. My grandpa and I have some major differences both politically and religiously. He also likes to collect weaponry, something for which I really don't care about. So I would put our relationship at about a 2 or 3 on the 1-10 scale. Anyways, we talked mainly about my future, which was expected. But the surprise came when I told him about where I wanted to move after graduation. I said Chicago was on a short list, and he encouraged my idea. The man shoots down quite a bit of what I say, and to hear that was a nice change. Also, I realized that someone who worked for a multinational company for 25 years probably knows a thing or two about good places to live. I have probably been to 1% of where he has been (Communist Russia, all of Europe, Japan, etc.) . But he has only lived in North Minneapolis his entire life, within a 10 block radius pretty much, and is also very family oriented. It was just interesting to hear someone give me feedback on this idea. I do not want to live here my whole life. Granted, I have quite a bit of state pride, but I want to see what else is out there.

Let Me Hold You, Come Caress My Body, You Got Me Going Crazy,You Turn Me Up, Turn Me On

Thank you, Kevin Little, for proving that one hit wonders (or oneders) do still exist.

Man, I fucking hate golfers. I live off the 13 or 14th tee of Edinburgh, so every day from March to November I see dudes in khaki slacks and some sort of Lauren couture teeing off when I go to work. They expect me to stop so they can drive their little fucking carts instead of walking across a pretty busy parkway. I decided to get a little revenge. Every day that someone is golfing by my house and I pass, I lay on the horn. I mean, this isn't a love tap, it's a full on honk. Sometimes I yell "fuckers" really loud, also. That's what they get for being lazy and wearing khaki way too friggin tight for their fat asses. The best is when they dress like Payne Stewart, with the tam-o-shanter and the knickers. That makes them even look gayer.

Boone debut tonight for the Twinks. I don't know about them catching The Sux, but a wild card looks pretty good right about now. Then they can work those fags in the ALCS.

Songs of the day:
-"Billy Jack Bitch" Prince
-"Mercy Mercy Me" Marvin Gaye
-"Tears Of A Clown" Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
-That lame ass Antigone Rising song I hear every day at work that goes "She's not, She's not Innocent" (Cause I hear it all the time and it blows)
Also, Starbucks is selling a Sly Stone remix CD with Big Boi, Maroon 5, D'Angelo and a whole bunch of other decent artists on it. I may have to check it out, if it kicks ass like the Motown one.

Feelin Allright, Uh-Huh

Feelin better, still have a sore throat though. Listened to a lot of tunes and watched the All Star festivities. Also dug out my tape of the 1996 All Star game. It had a bunch of playoff highlights on it, and a news report from KARE 11 where someone threw a paint gernade over the balcony at Champlin Park! There was an interview with Mr Bohthius and everything. Pretty weird.

Gonna try to play softball tonight, and get the Gamers an elusive win. So elusive.

Heres a few of the current listens
-World Leader Pretend-Punches (Fantastic. Sounds like Radiohead/REM. Thanks Quade)
-Morrissey- Your Arsenal
-Fountains of Wayne- Out Of State Plates
-Stephen Malkmus- Self Titled
-All American Rejects- Move Along (Yeah, I know its pop punk bullshit. I dont care)
-Sonic Youth-Daydream Nation

Come On, Come On

I have the bronchitis or some kind of infection, and I have been sleeping way too much. Here is the laundry list of my sick dream I had last night.

-Transvestite hooker forcing herself on me at gunpoint
-Anthony Anderson shooting said hooker five times (and her not dying)
-Christian, Jeff and myself going to the Glastonbury Festival
-Me watching Rilo Kiley and Jenny Lewis singing directly to me
-Me preforming with Ben Folds and William Shatner on a "40s duet"
-Christian losing my wallet forcing me to stay in England longer than anyone else

I think that there was more, but thats all I can remember. What the hell?

Jakies Back, Tell A Friend

The trip to Milwaukee was epic. So much fun was had that I don't think that it can be expressed in words. The first night was the night of the show. We took the city bus to Summerfest after having a few of Milwaukees finest and arrived at a combo of the State Fair, the Taste of Minnesota and a beer fest. We stopped at a Shakey's pizza stand then headed into the concert.

The Pixies made me cry. It was the most amazing show that I have ever seen, and the whole band looked so excited to be playing together again. The only downside was that some guy felt the need to start shit with me. I was jumping around, singing, and I guess I threw an elbow at his girlfriend (inadvertently). He bumped into me, and I said sorry. To which he replied, "Fuck you motherfucker. I paid for this seat. You made my girlfriend leave, motherfucker." Jeff gave him an "I want to kill you" look and he sat down for the rest of the show. Then, his girlfriend came back and HE yelled at HER. So, it worked out. Yet, the fucker ruined "Monkey Gone To Heaven" and "Where Is My Mind" for me.

Weezer delivered another odd show. Rivers Cuomo has the worst stage presence of any lead singer I have ever seen. He stands motionless and unenthused throughout the show. Except for when I saw them at Roy Willkins, where he was a cock rock god for one night. Nevertheless, the band still delivered. They played most of their new album, and it sounded fantastic. "We Are All On Drugs" had this really cool background that swirlled around. And they played a totally different version of "Buddy Holly" with a Moog. And Rivers even started to get into the show towards the end and thanked the audience profusely at the end. Too bad they didn't play more from Pinkerton. Probably the best concert I have ever attended.

At the end of the night, we heard Death Cab For Cutie play a few songs. We couldn't see them because there were 5,000 people in front of us, but "The Sound Of Settling" sounded damn good.

The second day we just went back to hang out and maybe watch Whitesnake. The lineup was really weak, with Alter Bridge, Issac Hayes and Cowboy Mouth being the free shows. So we just drank and walked around. The bus ride home was nuts. Milwaukee County buses have TVs in them, and they have these "Who am I?" guessing games to play. Cody sat in the back and was playing the game with the entire bus, and leading them in a chant of "Teddy Teddy" when Roosevelt came on. Great day. Earlier, we went to the dirtiest beach on Lake Michigan and ate Popeyes from the most ghetto Popeyes ever.

And we toured the Miller Brewery. It was really cool seeing how the beer gets shipped and packaged. And it was really cool drinking free beer samples. The Miller Cafe had the best burgers and the worst waitress ever, and a sign that said "The Only Bud We Serve Here is Selig." Gay.

Then we went up to Millas cabin, which was fun as all hell. We partied until seven in the morining, and Millas crazy neighbor took us for a random pontoon ride at 3:30 in the morning. Overall, one of the best weeks of my life, hands down.