Should I Pick Up the Vinyl?

Well, that settles it...I will have to listen to the new Weezer disc before I purchase it. At least twice. This is the stupidest album cover I have ever seen. What in the hell were their label thinking allowing them to put this out? What the fuck is exactly going on in this picture?

Although, it is so bad it makes me laugh a little bit. But just a little.

Jake Eickholts 115th Dream

Last night I had a dream I was in a swank lounge (you know, the kind the dudes on Entourage are always at with the round sofas and whatnot). And I had just won the Super Bowl. Anyways, I was talking big shit, saying "Who else in here has won a Super Bowl and a Super Bowl MVP?"

Then I looked over at one of the round sofas and Ben Roethlisberger was sitting there, in his Steelers gear. He said "this guy" and pointed at himself. Then we both got amped and Big Ben gave me bones.

Funny thing is, I guess he never won the Super Bowl MVP. Well, I guess that makes two of us...

But It's Alright

So we got spanked in softball tonight. The positive would be that we put up 16 in the first game and only lost by eight. The negative would be the fact that teams in the Brooklyn Center D Fall league are much, much better than the Million Dollar Men. Oh well, I will take solace in almost hitting for the cycle tonight in the first game (single, double, triple)...

I also started converting some vinyl to MP3 this evening. I found a 45 by a local MPLS band called The Mystics in a stack of records my brother Jordan was converting. Digging garage, I threw it on. Good shit, a kick ass, sort of sloppy cover of "But It's Alright" and another cover of "Pain" by Grass Roots (was not familiar with that song at all). Not sure which is the A and which is the B but I think "Pain" was the track spun on KDWB...

I also threw the Nick Gilder album with "Hot Child In The City" on there (mainly for "One Of The Boys" which is amazing). Next step: Ringo's solo album with "Photograph" on it and all the Pearl Jam Christmas 45s I have been accumulating over the years. This may be the best toy since the Cobra Terrordome!

Why I STILL Hate Megan Fox

So my favorite celeb is on the cover of Rolling Stone this fortnight...

First off, let me start by saying I only get Rolling Stone still because Rob Sheffield writes for it. The 10 or so months he wrote for Blender were painful, mainly because that magazines "tits, ass, maybe a little music" format didn't allow him to be his catty best. If he were ever to leave again, I would cancel in a heartbeat...I don't need to see Zac Effron's biddy when I am trying to get my music news.

Anyways, back to Jolie Jr. After reading the first two paragraphs, I learned that she has her boyfriends name tattooed next to her vag. Which is a little weird, but par for the course with this broad. But then you learn, in paragraph three that her BF is, wait for it, BRIAN FUCKING AUSTIN GREEN! Yep, America's favorite FOX sponsored white rapper from 1994 is sthupping the IT girl of the moment. Marinate on that.

I also dislike Ms. Fox because they had her pose with a vinyl copy of "Ziggy Stardust" in their little pictorial. Don't sully my favorite shit, RS. Just don't.

Glenn Medeiros ~ She Ain't Worth It ~ 1990

Did this go to #1 due to Bobby Brown? And why is he hanging out with this dude who stole Mike Seavers hair? How did this come out in 1990? Weren't the 80s over by then? So many unanswered questions....

I heard that old Glenn is a high school teacher. Anyways, if I had a radio station, this shit would STILL be in regular rotation.

You Da F-----n' Best, You Da Best I Ever Had

Why is anything left in Brooklyn Center? If any city screams "hey, I quit progressing in 1985" its that one. That became painfully clear when I went to Best Buy tonight.

There was one cashier for about ten people in line, and the couple in front of me had their credit card rejected four times and insisted that it get run again. I waited about five minutes to purchase my CD, when it should have taken 20 seconds. The problem is that this is par for the course for the BC Best Buy. Absolute clueless service, no one is really buying anything (except for BOOST! phones when I was in there) and a minuscule selection of everything. All the stores in BC are like that. They are like that 40 year old dude who lives at home and goes to Fieldhouse or Champps and fucks 22 year olds in his parents basement...there once was potential, but now he (or it) is running on fumes.

The CD I bought may have been worth the wait. Kid Cudi's "Man On The Moon" is not quite a hip-hop album, not quite a pop album. It may be the first R&B influenced concept album about hating yourself (well besides "Ready To Die" by Biggie). Dude is talking about coke-induced suicide on track 2, spends track 4 and 7 tracks discussing his loner status, may be face fucking Lady Gaga with Common and Kanyeezy on track 12, tries to get happy with MGMT on track 13, and may finally have killed himself on the final track. Or did he? Common comes on to tell us nothings over.

Hip hop has been pretty fucking dead for the last two years. Honestly though, after one and a half listens to "Man On The Moon," I can't wait for part 2 of the trilogy.

Ghost Like Swazye, Etc

Patrick Swazye dying is a major loss in my book, if only because the dude starred in "Road House" and "Point Break." Both of those movies are stone cold classics. I also forgot he was in "The Outsiders." Oh, and I will admit it, "Dirty Dancing" has its moments...but I will not ride for "Ghost" (even though I know of at least one guy who loves that movie). So, RIP Dalton. Hopefully you and Jeff Healy can rock out on a kick ass "She's Like The Wind/Angel Eyes" medley in the hereafter.

In other news, my 14 year old brother asked my mom if I was gay because I read Esquire. I said, if I subscribed to GQ or Details, maybe, but Esquire is a manly read full of half naked Mary Louise Parkers and articles about In-N-Out Burger. Funny thing is, this isn't the first time my sexuality has been questioned because of Esquire. Has there ever been a magazine so misunderstood?

New Pearl Jam in 6 days...pretty amped. Hopefully it won't disappoint like "Binaural" and "Riot Act," but it will kick ass like the Avocado one, which made me want to fight the government and eat guacamole.

The Love Of My Life (And It Ain't Hip Hop)

Football season is here. The time of year where I turn to my sports mistress (baseball will always be my wifey) only to get my heartbroken by that slut in purple. Ah, but she always looks so right at the twilight of summer, over there in the corner with so much promise. Oh well, maybe things will be different this time. Maybe she will stay until February, when we can take that vaycay to South Beach and party with that guido Lombardi.

But we all know how this is gonna turn out. The broad is going to leave the relationship around November all emotionally bruised after some asshole named Brett or Tavaris breaks her heart by failing to deliver on his promises. I will probably start to flirt with that redhead in downtown St. Paul, or that silver fox who hangs out by Block E. But I won't do anything, and I will go back to my wifey and the new house she's building downtown MPLS in the spring, where we will be hopefully happy for years to come.

Well, At Least We Still Got Johnny Damon

So I thought Matt Damon was dead for two minutes tonight...

Some random blog posted that TMZ had reported that Matt Damon died hiking in the California desert. My brother told me that it was legit and it was on NBC. And I believed the initial reports, due to the fact that I now somehow consider TMZ a legit news source. I think its time to step away from the computer. How fucked is our society's news gathering when we believe a blog that thrives on pictures of celebs asses instead of an accredited source?

In non celeb death related news, the new Jay-Z album sucks, conditionally. There are only a handful of decent tracks, two of which were singles already and one of which was built on the chorus to "Forever Young" by Alphaville. Being one of the only people to find "American Gangster" damn near classic, I was going to ride for "Blueprint 3" hard. But I can only give it a C. Ain't no "Roc Boys" or "Lost One" on this disc...although the song about New York with Alicia Keys is pretty good.

The Debauchedness...

I promised myself a weekend of debauchery, and goddammits, that's what I got.

Thursday was pretty mellow. The only debauchery was eating at Checkers (Loaded fries are pretty debauched) and going to Cheapo to pick up some CDs.

Friday on the other hand, was both decadent and debauched. I went to the Fair and ate the following items (NOTE: Most were shared with others):
-Cheese Curds
-Pronto Pup
-Deep Fried Cannoli
-Pig Cheek
-Australian Battered Potatoes
-Sweet Martha's Cookies
-A Milkshake

After that decadence, I went bowling at Earle Brown Lanes...and split three pitchers of Mich Golden between two people. Then, off to Jams, where I downed bottom shelf whiskey diets while my cohort talked up some broad who looked like Octomom (and who was wearing a dashiki). Octomom told my cohort to meet her at Denny's...so we went. There was no Octomom, but there was a meal named after Rascal Flats. So I ordered it, with my hash browns smothered and covered. Thank god for that, because I would have puked the next morning for sure if Rascal Flats wouldn't have been in my tummy.

Saturday was another "So Ruff So Tuff" day. Went to a softball shindig in Richfield, then went to Champps a block away. After realizing Champps was deader than Chris Benoit, we headed to a dive sports bar called Tailgate. Tailgate had karaoke, and I rocked the fuck out of "Up On Cripple Creek". Then I decided it would be fun to try to pick up the only single chicks in the bar. Didn't work out so well...they came back and helped us drink some keg beer, but one of them was a super huge Dave Matthews fan (even dropping the dreaded "Dave" reference) and kind of soured on Ol' Jakey Poo when I made fun of their new album title.

But, you gotta admit, "Whiskey Kings and The Goo Goo Crux" or whatever is a stupid fucking name...even if its named after their dead violinist.

Sunday was the recovery day. Went to Mayslack's for a few beers, and passed out around 1 AM. Fitting end to a great weekend.